Chapter Five: A new door.

The Elves of Dratlan stood in the dark halls of Maethryn, protected from the morning sun by black stone.

The night had passed in wonder, but that fear had consumed me as the sun rose. As if everything before me would vanish with the light. They hadn't, but the sunlight made them wispy. We moved into the fortress for breakfast, sitting amongst the dark pillars.

I was the only one who ate. Gilda sat behind me, braiding my hair whilst the others sat around me. Heslan chattered on about the first time he had landed a shot with an arrow – a story he had told countless times. We weren't a Keep for frivolous celebrations, but we had danced that night and kept Heslan on our shoulders. I looked for the missing faces again amongst my family, hoping they would reappear.

I wanted my Mentors to see me. Especially Mentor Lhokin. I wanted him to see that the risk he had taken on the fisherman's daughter had paid off. I wanted him to be proud of me.

Save them.

I hadn't. Maybe it was better that he could not see me now.

A human approached me as I finished my breakfast. Kendon rose at my side and I followed, inclining my head. I had only seen this human in flashes - Commander Janae Whitely.

He wore no helmet, exposing the dark dome of his head. His face and hands were marked with old scars, but he still wore the Paladin armour that I had noted all those months ago in Dratlan.

"Commander Janae Whitely," I stared at the man who Mahon had considered a father. The man who had taken Mahon from those Gold-Hand mines and given him a life with purpose. "It's an honour to meet you."

His eyes crinkled when he smiled. "I would say the honour is mine, Miss Aviana Birchwood."

Now I wished that Mahon was here. I knew he would never admit it, but a few minutes to talk to the Commander he mourned would mean so much to him.

"You spoke last night of changing Paladin Commanders? Who took over my position?" We sat on steps of obsidian, facing out over the Paladins and Elves.

"First, Vossen. As I said, he was a traitor who allied with the Insurgent and was killed. Then, Greydon Caldson was appointed. From what I've seen, he is doing a fine job."

"He comes from a long line of powerful leaders. His aunt, or was it his great-aunt...?" Whitely mused, "...well, an aunt somewhere in his family line was once a Paladin Commander."

Whitely braced his elbows on his knees, staring at the Elves and Paladins who mixed so easily together. I wondered if they had gone on a similar journey to me – learning to trust those who they were once wary of. He said. "I wish every day that I could go back to Cadelith and get away from this strange land, but they tell me that I cannot until the Insurgent is killed. Only when the Insurgent is killed, will my soul be able to be free. I never cared about where my soul would go after, but now it is all I can think of. Will I turn into a creature and then hurt the soldiers who were once under my charge?"

"The Insurgent will die. There is no other outcome that I can accept."

Whitely glanced down at me, a half-smile rising. "You sound like your companion Captain Bryant."

"Well, his infallible attitude has kept the Legion slogging ahead."

"I don't doubt that."

"Tell me Commander," I cleared my throat, "...why did the Paladins come to Dratlan. What could you have done that the Elves of Dratlan didn't?"

The Commander mulled over the question. "I had been trying to muster campaigns to smooth over the relations between Elves and humans. I had taken excursions into Dratlan valley before. I knew Mentor Lhokin. He was a brave and brilliant Elf, but when he asked me to come that winter, I knew it was not a casual visit I would be making. He said he needed numbers. He needed strength."

"He must have known something was stirring."

"He feared an attack."

"But never suspected a betrayal." I sighed.

"No one ever does."

I hesitated. "You know we encountered the Gold-Hands if you were listening to my story."

I had left out the connections Mahon had with them. The Dratlan Elves were my family, but that was not my secret to tell them. Janae Whitely cast me a look. "And you know of their far-reaching effects."

"I think I know everything."

The Commander grimaced. "It always the people that suffer too much who must continue to suffer."

"He is a brave and good man." I said vehemently, "And no one in the Legion would see him falter because of them. I wouldn't allow it."

The Commander frowned at me. "I hope he appreciates your care."

"In the ways he can."

"Mahon Bryant is a good man." Whitely rose, looking down on me. "One of the best. I am glad I made the decision to make him stay in the valley all those months ago."

"So am I." I rose too. He could have just been another dead body. So could Fyr and Kohen – just strangers to me that I wouldn't have grieved over because I had not learned to love them yet.

"And Greydon Caldson is a good soldier and a merciful man. He will make a good Commander. Perhaps even a great one with time." Commander Whitely inclined his head. "Enjoy your time with your family."

Kendon was silent as Commander Whitely re-joined the crowd. Then, "You speak of this Captain Bryant with great warmth."

"He is a good man."

Kendon looked at me, his gaze scouring the side of my face. "Do you love this human?"

"Does it matter?" I looked at him.

Kendon arched a brow. "Does your happiness matter? Of course it does."

I thought about lying, but knew Kendon would see through it. "I do."

"And does he love you?"

"I think – well, I think he does. He isn't a man for frivolous words."

"I think I would have loved to meet the man who thinks love and its' words are frivolous." Kendon rose, a half-smile rising. "He would have made me laugh."

"You would have liked him."

"He sounds like a good man and if he loves you, he will keep you safe. Even from yourself, which is a tougher job. For that, I need not meet him to know that I like him."

"Even if he is human?"

"Does that mean I have your blessing?" I asked carefully. "Even though he is a human."

"You love him?" Kendon examined the rising obsidian pillar, his face solemn.

"...Yes."

"And he loves you.?"

"I grow increasingly convinced that he does."

"Then that is all that matters." Kendon looked back at me, eyes glittering.

I reached forward, squeezing his hand. Our second of peace was broken and I was drawn into conversation with the others. They gave me questions and condolences. I found Ater to try and apologise for not saving him, but he would hear none of it. His face had haunted my nightmares for months, that look on his face as he stared up at the Nirani who loomed over him. I had not saved him, and I was sorry. He knew that now. He simply told me that Kelin had joined him in this strange world. His love was here and he could deal with anything then.

Kendon and I found time later, tucked away in the dark corner. I didn't move my gaze from the Elves, who sang together, dancing. "Do you think the crossing killed Vanya?"

"I don't know." I murmured. "I hope."

"Do you hate her?" Kendon asked. "I don't know how I should feel."

"I do."

Kendon cast me a look at my sharp, vehement stone. Sighing, I traced the marks on my hands. "You only have the memories of Vanya, our close friend. I have those memories, but I also have the knowledge of what she's done. I've seen the slaves, smelled the disease she let rot in their wounds. I've seen the villages she burned to the ground, the land she poisoned. I saw Dratlan, after everything she did. The bodies in the snow. I can't forgive that, and I can't let it rest if she is still alive."

"I understand." Kendon sighed. "I wish I could see her face. Just to see what she has become. A general? How could all of us missed this?"

"Why would anyone be looking out for a traitor amongst us?" I told him. "No one here is to blame for what Vanya did. That is on her."

It hurt to see the betrayal stamped on Kendon's face. His gaze rove upwards, to the light filtering inside. None of the Elves wandered into direct sunlight, but where the light was patchy, they walked. "I wish you could come back to Cadelith with me?"

"And live as shadows?" Kendon asked softly. "We are trapped here, but even if we weren't, that would not be right. We are gone. Just whispers of what we once were. I've accepted that."

"I haven't." I choked.

Kendon shook his head, taking my hands. "Yes, you have. And I am glad that you have. "

"I could...stay here?" Even as I said it, I knew I couldn't. To save their souls and give them the final rest that they deserved, I would have to tear myself away from them once more.

"But I know you wouldn't."

That lump in my throat only got tighter. "I miss you."

"I know."

"I don't want to go." Please. Please. This place was all wrong, but the faces were right. "Pl- ...people are relying on me."

"Then you go. You are bigger than Dratlan now."

I laughed shortly. "You always seem to know everything, don't you Kendon? I would have liked your input during the past few months. Maybe I wouldn't have made so many mistakes."

"You and I know well that I would give you advice and you would ignore it. I may be dead, but that hasn't washed away a decade of friendship."

The Zentin Naim appeared. She cut through the Elves, as light-footed as Kohen was. She stopped before me, her voice solemn. "Lady Isobel is asking for you. It's time."

"Time?" I asked, rising to my feet.

"It is time for you to go home."

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As he had for over a decade, Kendon knew when I was worried.

And as he always had, he came to my side.

"You are worried," Kendon looked down at me, his voice soft.

"I am." I swallowed, staring at the archway that the doorway stood in. It had taken some time for the Lady and I to create a doorway. Some would form and I would see Cadelith beyond it – a set of dusty old ruins, a burning village, a green pasture and then my strength would falter and the doorway would collapse. The Zentin guarding the wall around the haven reported gathering groups of Nirani, all drawn to my presence.

My presence was endangering them. I wanted to stay – I wanted to stay here amongst them, but knew I couldn't.

"You imagine the door to be heavy." The Lady had told me. "But once, it was as easy as parting the curtains in the morning. Tearing a piece of parchment and letting the wind catch it. The more you practice, the lighter it becomes."

Which was good advice, but didn't stop this door from feeling like it weighed a tonne.

I knew every minute that I spent in this haven was too long. "I don't know what I am returning too."

"Pestilence? Death? Hardship?" Kendon queried, knocking me with his elbow. "This is nothing you haven't faced before."

"That doesn't mean I want to face it again?"

Kendon huffed a breath. "As if you would not hurl yourself head-first into it."

I cracked a smile, casting him a withering glare. "And you would have hurled yourself right behind me."

"People say Elves are noble and rigid and all things boring, but we do like to have fun." Kendon cocked a pale brow, those blue eyes twinkling. "And we had fun. Didn't we?"

"Why ask a question you know the answer to?" My throat wired shut. Had. Didn't we?

"Why ask a question when you know why I'm asking?" Kendon glanced back at a sudden movement, taking a moment to relax once more. "I mourn for Dratlan. For our life and the life we should have all had together. You are the one alive and that gives us solace, but I still feel this ragged grief inside my chest like it's a blade that never dulls. I look at Heslan and wonder what a brilliant Elf he would have grown into. I see this dying land and I can only think of how beautiful the fresh snow-fall was in Dratlan. Countless days we spent – moments in between that seem hazy."

"Moments that we should have appreciated it more." I agreed.

Kendon turned to fully face me, a breath catching in his throat. His brow pinched and his voice turned low and serious. "You are stronger than you were in Dratlan. You are stronger and you will become stronger again. I wish I could be there to fight by your side, but I can't. Show them your strength. Make them fear you. I know you can."

"You imagine me as some kind of un-natural force."

"Even without this," He took my wrists, tracing the ridges of my marks, "You would be at the head of the Legion. It gave you none of your drive, your cleverness and resolve but it has given you a magic that even Zeddicus might not be able to confront. Use it. Return and show them that this time away has not weakened you, but made you into something powerful."

"I could have used your advice and wisdom countless times in the last few months." Too many times to count. "Or even your company."

"And I could have used yours." Softly, he touched my cheek. "But some friendships transcend death. You have survived this and you are learning to be happy again. I would want nothing less for you."

Asha'da. I took his hands, squeezing them in an attempt to convey what words could never. Delicately, he said, "I know."

Delicately, Lady Isobel cleared her throat. Kendon and I turned and I knew, with the weight settling in the pit of my stomach, that it was time. Goodbyes would have to be made. Kendon moved away and Lady Isobel approached, looking at the door of silver lightening. The Lady took my hands, holding them tight. "You have the power of two of my people. You are stronger than him. Train with it. Use it."

"I will stop him," I promised, even though I didn't really know how. I know shredding the world wouldn't be the answer – not when my friends lived in that world.

"Find the last tablet." Lady Isobel insisted. "Only when Zeddicus is really dead, can all of this end. These souls can return to Cadelith to finally rest."

"Zeddicus will die."

She held my gaze, appraising me. The weight on my shoulders felt even heavier – knowing that the answers didn't make anything easier.

Asha'da came next, filling the space Lady Isobel vacated. She examined me with a sad sort of smile, but clasping my hands and kissed my cheeks. "Finish what I could not."

"I will."

"I know." She clenched my fingers, jaw tightening. "I know. I'm sorry that you have to."

"You've given me the strength to get this far." I told her. "And I know that with your blessing, I will get the rest of the way."

"You have it, Aviana Birchwood. You are a better Elf than I ever was."

Tears burned in my eyes. "That means ... thank you for getting me here. Thank you for everything. Stay safe until I end this."

"I can't promise that." She squeezed my hands. "You hold all your loved ones tight when you get back."

"I will."

She hesitated, then grabbed a hold of my shoulder. Her breath was warm, tickling my ear as she whispered feverishly. When she finished, she just kissed my cheek and smiled. "Survive. That's not an ask. That's a command."

I bowed my head to her, my mind whirring. "Yes, Asha'da."

I felt the pull of the door as the marks along my hands burned. Lady Isobel had given me the strength to tear it open, but I bore this door was ease. A small door, no bigger than the width of my body if I walked in sideways showed. It was enough to slip back out into Cadelith.

Then I turned to the Dratlan Elves. They looked at me with shining smiles, clustered together to get their chance to say goodbye. I went through them all, being enveloped in hugs that I knew I would not get again. I tried to stem my tears, remembering that this was a happy moment. Who else got a chance to speak and laugh with their loved ones? Who else got a chance to say goodbye after a tragedy?

I knelt before Heslan to hug him tight. I leaned back slightly, holding out his knife. "You look after Kendon for me, will you?"

Heslan regarded the knife, before making a decision. He pushed it back to me. "You keep it, so I can protect you in Cadelith too."

"Ah." I clucked his chin. "You are good to look out for me."

"You're going back alone." Heslan said sagely.

I sheathed the knife once more and rose, running a hand over the crown of his head. I ruffled that burnt-gold hair and he swatted at my hand, checking the line of his braid.

I looked over him and wished that I could have seen him grow up and grow strong. Kendon and I would have been the ones to guide him, teach him how to hunt and to shoot a bow. He would have grown up to be as brave and brilliant as he was now.

Another life.

One that didn't exist anymore.

"Be good, Heslan. I will tell Arno and Zeer that you were here."

His eyes grew wide. "Do you think they miss me?"

"Of course. Who else would sneak them treats after dinner?" I asked.

He blushed. "I didn't think anyone noticed."

He gave me another swift hug, his arms thrown around me in a quick squeeze. I held tight, trying to drag out the moment. Trying to soak it all in, because I knew this time, it was the last.

Kelin and Ater approached me next, enfolding me in a hug. I made promises to sing and to dance and to celebrate like the Dratlan Elves had for years. I promised – only if I could find someone who made music as beautiful as Ater's.

Last, was Kendon.

My beautiful Kendon.

We held each other close for a long time. When he stepped back, he held my shoulders and smiled so openly that I couldn't help but return it. "Live a long, happy life Aviana. For us. For you. Survive and be happy."

"I will try."

"When this is all over and we are at peace, look for us in the winter wind."

That I knew I could do. "Until I die."

Kendon kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes, trying to remember this moment. Tears clung to my lashes, and tickled my cheeks.

He swept back and Ater was there, holding my pack up. I shouldered it and took a breath as I looked to them. The great obsidian room was silent. I tried to commit it all to memory, the smiling, loving faces. Their hope. Their joy. All whispers from the bodies that lay in Dratlan.

I glanced at Asha'da as she stood behind the Lady. She was not smiling, but dipped her chin to me as she met my look.

Energy crackled behind me, tangible on my skin. "Goodbye." I said again.

I didn't wait for a reply this time. I couldn't – I was afraid if I hesitated, I would never leave.

I stepped through the doorway.

In an instant, I was snatched into light and heat. The ground was torn away from me and I hurtled through the air. The world burned silver. My hair whipped behind me violently.

Then, ice. Coursing over my skin like the rivers of Dratlan in winter. That lasted for only a moment before I emerged into light again, slamming down onto hard earth. The fall knocked the wind from my lungs and I lay there, wheezing out a rough breath.

Snow soaked into my clothes and I rolled onto my side, shuddering. Arms bracing, I hauled myself to my feet and turned. No doorway stood near me – only the trunks of coniferous trees, whose branches were becoming burdened with snow. I was on the edge of a wood. Ahead of me, I could see the break in the trees and the strong burst of sunlight that sparkled off the fresh snow.

It must have been the north or north-east of Cadelith. I hadn't been gone long enough for a full winter to descend over the entire Empire. I began to walk, shouldering my pack securely. The world was silent around me, save for the low whistle of wind.

I began to think of Adotlan finally, wondering if it would be the same when I returned. How would they have coped with my absence? Would it have made a difference at all.

At least I would be returning with something of value. The last tablet of Asha'da was hidden in the Emperor's palace. We had information that the Insurgent didn't. We needed to get to it before he did and then...kill the Insurgent.

I snorted. As if that hadn't been my goal since Dratlan valley.

The trees around me thinned and I stepped out onto a steep incline. I breathed in the crisp air, tilting my face up to the grey skies. I was back. Above in those grey clouds, an errant current of lightening bloomed. My hands sparked silver and ash tickled my throat.

I looked down the rise that overlooked a familiar river that curled below me, cutting through the snowy countryside like a glittering, blue-grey snake.

Haaling.

Any joy I felt was quickly squashed.

Horror filled me. Below, the outpost that sat on the curve of the river, lay in blackened ruins. The mark of the Saviours was burned onto one of the remaining walls and the flags of the Legion had been cut down and left to be covered in fresh snow. The great hall, Atoll, lay in ruins – just the frame stood, dark against the stone.

I could see people moving below.

Enemies?

Definitely enemies. I recognised the garb of the Saviours- there were just humans hiding away in the burned down outpost. Rage stoked inside my chest.

The Lady had told me to use my abilities.

I looked up to the skies – to the errant lightning bolt whose energy was fading. I took a breath, calling that cursed magic to me. Silver shot up my veins and burned at my breastbone. Energy sparked between my fingers, weeks of unused magic coursing to get of from under my skin.

The grey clouds began to turn un-naturally, sparking light spitting from them. As I burned brighter, the skies darkened and rumbled. The energy was electric – addicting.

I looked down to Haaling once more as a bolt cut from the skies, forking out to strike the smoking ruins. Men screamed. Ash poisoned my tongue.

I was back.

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She is back.

Tell me your thoughts, theories and conspiracies. 

Until next time - Saoimarie