The next day
*Tom*
The funeral feels like being in a surreal dream. We are holding it in a beautiful little church, and I know my mother and sisters have decorated it with flowers and candles.

I am sad to say that I hardly notice. I also barely register who is there, and still everyone's support means the world to me. Maddie is sitting on one side, leaning on me, being my rock.

On my other side is Zac. And honestly I am not sure what I would have done without him here. He is unapologetically holding my hand and hugs me several times, telling me it is okay. I am happy that he is like that, ashamed to show affection and support, right now I really need it.

Looking at the tiny coffin I get all choked up every time, I hate that they make coffins this small, I wish it was never needed.

Somehow I manage to get through the service. Part of me wants to just run away, but as I was the one demanding we should have a funeral, I feel I need to do this.

I am supposed to carry the coffin, but it feels like it weighs a ton, and it has my legs almost buckle. And there is Zac, again, he gently takes the coffin, resting it on one hand and underarm. Wrapping his other arm around my shoulder, as he leads me down the aisle.

Feeling like a zombie, I watch the world continue as we leave the church and go to the graveyard. This one has a special area for babies.

I just stand there in a stupor, as the priest says a few more words, while people gather and they get ready.

When they start lowering the coffin into the ground I panic. I know it is not rational, but I just can't control myself and I am ready to throw myself into the hole and get her out.

"Tom, stop !" I feel strong arms grab me and know it is Zac.

"Let me go, I need to save her... I need to protect her". My words come from something inside me I am not in charge of.

Zac is holding me back. "Stop, you have to stop. She is gone Tom... just stop".

"No, she can't be there alone, she needs me". The sob rolls through me from deep down my stomach and it hurts as it emerges.

"Tom, stop !" I am turned and Zac stares at me, a firm grasp on my shoulders. "You need to stop, I know you are hurting, but this is not gonna help". He lowers his voice. "You are hurting Maddie... she needs your support, not this".

I turn my head, seeing Maddie look at me with pain and fear painted on her face. Dahlia, standing beside her, supporting her, and I realise she thinks she is losing me too.

"Maddie !" I feel like crumbling, but Zac is right, she needs me. "You can let me go Zac".

He looks me in the eyes for a moment, then he nods and lets me go.

"Oh Cookie". I hurry over to Maddie, and she throws herself into my arms. "I am so sorry darling, so sorry".

"It's okay Tom". She mumbles against my shoulder. "But I need you, please do not leave me".

I tighten my hold, breathing in her Well known scent, knowing it will calm me. "I promise that. I won't leave you, ever".

*Dahlia*
We are back in the hotel room and I let my hands run over my stomach. "I kinda feel bad, I mean about us having another baby when they lost theirs".

Zac instantly comes over to me, pulling me into his strong embrace. "Don't feel like that kitten... I mean I totally get that you feel that way, but you shouldn't".

"It's just so sad". I mumble, snuggling into his broad chest. "I mean Tom is absolutely distraught, I am worried for him".

"Me too, very much so". He sighs. "Do you think it would be overstepping some... lines trying to help ?"

I look up at him. "I guess it depends on how and ... Well the people you are helping".

"I have talked to my therapist and he has given me the name of a very good grief counselor here... Is it going to close if I set up a meeting ?" He looks at me nervously.

Zac has been going to a therapist, dealing with some things from his childhood and his mother... and some insecurities that have spawned. And I have of course supported him. He says he wants to make sure not to repeat his mothers mistakes on his own kids.

"Uhmm". I think for a moment. "Maybe you should talk with them for a start, suggest they get an appointment and give them the name or offer that you can schedule an appointment if they are interested".

"Yeah you might be right". He says softly. "I am just so scared that Tom will say he can handle it... and frankly he can't... he needs help to get through this".

I nod. "I know, and I know you just want to help... you are being such a great friend to Tom".

"He would do the same for me". He kisses the top of my head.

"What you did for him today... how you acted today". I look up at him, the most amazing man in the world. "I am so proud of you".

He half shrugs. "Nothing special... as I said he would do the same for me".

"He probably would, but it doesn't make it less special". I tell him truthfully. "I am proud to be your wife".

"And I am proud that you are my wife". He mumbles softly against my lips as he kisses me. "I still look at you at least once a day and wonder why you chose me".

I brush my fingers along his jaw. "Because you are you, the sweetest and most amazing man in the Universe".

"Really ?" He pulls me into him.

I grin at him. "Well, the handsome face and hot body is definitely a plus too".

"You cheeky little kitten". He grins and kisses me again. I think mostly he just need to feel safe and loved after this day.