W: I'm a gonna make a some a pasta

W: oh look at that

W: "Serving size is 4"

W: yeah

W: ALL 4 ME

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W: how hairy are your legs right now?

D: let's just say that they are currently the main cause of global warming

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D: what Pokemon Go team are you on?

W: my team???

W: MY TEAM

D: no stop

W: WHAT TEAM AM I

D: please I'm sorry

W: TEAM WILDCATS

D: we should be over this

W: NEVER

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W: if you've never said, "mom mom mom mommy mum mom mom mama mommy mom mo-" and she cuts you off with "WHAT" and you just say "hi" before hi-tailing out of that room

W: you need to rethink your relationship

D: fun fact - this works with Bruce as well
-----------------------

W: do you ever realize that there is probably an alternate timeline where we never met, because I think about that a lot

D: look, you have never ever listened to word I say but if there is any one thing that I want you to hear from, MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY DYING WORDS, is this: there is no universe where we aren't freinds

W: i'm gonna cry

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D: I just realised that I'm not ready for How To Train Your Dragon 3.

W: I'll hold your hand for you bro.

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W: I may have lost Cisco's screwdrivers, so he's sorta mad

W: I think he got over it, he's getting the two of us a pizza

W: he's ordering over the phone and told the lady not to cut it. idk why but whatever. food is love

W: HE FLIPPING OPENED THE BOX AND JUST LICKED THE ENTIRE PIZZA. I'M CRYING AND HE'S LAUGHING

D: he may be a little mad

W: shhhh, I feel like a lost a part of my soul

W: awww, NOW CAITLIN BARRY JOE AND IRIS ARE HERE LAUGHING NOOOO

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D: lets play a game. I start a story and you have to finish it with the theme I set.

W: okay. Theme?

D: it's mystery

D: so I'm walking down a road at night when...

W: your pulled into a random dark alley by a guy - that's me - in a trench coat. I open on side of my trench coat and you see...

W: a whole bunch of Pokémon cards and I say, "you want a charmander"

D: wow okay I'm leaving

W: so did that trainer in the indigo league when he ABANDONED HIS CHARMANDER

D: omg I'm so sorry

W: how could he??!
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D: it's come to my attention that I shouldn't be left alone with scissors

W: wh-what happened?

D: I made a whole stack of paper snowflakes and stood at the top of the stairs overlooking the entrance hallway

D: so when Bruce walked in from work he and Alfred were immediately showered by paper snowflakes

W: I expected something bad but this sounds good

D: no it's very bad Bruce didn't mind but Alfred made me clean them up

W: the horror
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W: heads up. I'm using your amazon account

D: why

W: I stayed up all night today to watch a rated R horror movie Barry told me not too

W: so yeah, you know that one spongebob episode where he and Patrick bought all of the night lights

W. I sorta maybe need to buy alL OF THE NIGHT LIGHTS IM SO SCARED PLEASE HELP
------------------------

D: Good Afternoon!

W: actually its good evening 

D: well now it's goodbye

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