W: *knock Knock*

W: special delivery

D: what is it?

W: it's me

D: is there a return address?

-------------------------------------

D: an older kid in the library was ranting about something that happened to his friends. He is so loud

D: I turned to him and said "wanna know how much I care." And he's like all smug, "Sure."

D: "Do you hear that?"

D: "I don't hear anything."

D: "Exactly."

-------------------------------

W: DOOFINSHMERTZ EVIL INCORPORATTTEEEDDDD

D: hold up, why does he get his own jingle. I want one.

----------------------------------

D: not to be rude or anything,

D: but what IS your purpose?!

W: I don't have one. No one does really. We're sacraficial specks of the woven universe, already planned out to the T. We humans know nothing.

D: thanks.

------------------------------------

D: Wayne Enterprise company introductions with the press. Help me pick a tie.

W: color of the suit?

D: standard black.

W: dress shirt beneath?

D: yeah, dark blue

W: White tie with the thin blue checkers that you lent me a few months ago.

D: got it, thanks.

----------------------------------------

W: I'm worried. I question how commited Dick is with our friendship

R: uh, right?

R: hold, on. Ok, why?

W: like, we've never planned out matching clothes in the morning.

W: DID YOU KNOW that he and Barbra wore matching outfits for the Gotham Academy field day? Has he and I ever done so? No.

R: don't you think you're overexagerating a bit.

W: well I think your UNDERREACTING ROY

R: oh my go-

R: just tell him howyou feel okay?

W: okay, and thanks for the thereputic services

R: don't come cheap though,  $1 per text sent

W: WHAT

-----------------------------------------

W: i've been scammed of $6 by Roy

D: what? how?

W: nevermind that, why don't we ever plan matching outfits together like you and Barbra do?

D: dude, if it means that much to you, we could match this weekend when we go to the mall

W: really

D: yeah sure.

W: YEAH

W: also never take thereputic advice from Roy, $1 per text

D: what.

------------------------------------

D: how would desribe your life in less than 10 words?

W: My life is a bad laffy taffy joke.

---------------------------------
R: college tuition is going up guys

D: pfft who needs a college degree when you're a good noodle

W: what

D:

D: yeah, I'm just gonna blow this up to a 10ft by 10ft canvas and hang it in my office.

D: losers
---------------------------

D: wow, you didn't tell me your English project partner was that pretty

W: what?

D: behind you at the table by the fake bamboo thing

W: WHY ARE YOU HERE

D: sorry am I interrupting your date

W: it's not a date. We're working on a project

D: It's a saturday afternoon. You both are sitting at a table in a coffee shop. You guys have been joking far longer than you have been working. AND you bought her a bagel. a bagel, dude.

W: please leave

D: nope. 

W: How did you know I was here anyways?!

D: honest: Barry paid me $20 to follow you for the day. Congrats

D: oh look she's coming back with your drinks.

D: have fun

W: I hate you

-----------------------------------