D: I hate getting fingerprints on tape

W: use your thumbs so you only get thumbprints

D: dude no
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W: I'm home alone this is great

D: perfect time for a murderer

W: hah ha very funny, but I'm not scared

D: yeah well have fun with that

One hour later

W: dude come here now I heard a noise I'm going to die I don't wanna die oh my god

D: bro.
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R: don't let Wally go to Walmart to get you something

D: why not

R: because he's gonna come home with a coffee, multiple coupons, a nickel off the street, and two phone numbers from the girls he probably found while getting coffee

R: and through all that does he get me my fruit roll up? No.

D: lol

R: I just want my fruit roll up

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D: your pretty

D: pretty ugly

W: your funny

W: funny looking
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W: BRO I heard you were the judge at a court case today?!!!!

W: since when are you a judge?!?!

D: *sends photo of online certificate*

D: well according to this... since 8:57 last night
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W: where's mt. Rushmore

D: in one of the Dakotas I think

W: hold on THERES MORE THAN ONE?
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W: I though you were gonna meet me at 11

D: nah sorry. Bruce and I are grounded

W: ..... what...no why..... no no no hold up..... who?

D: Alfred

W: what did the two of you do?

D: Bruce agreed to play spy with me so I gave him a walkie talkie and long story short Alfred caught us both trying to steal his feather duster and I yelled at Bruce THE BRITSH ARE COMING THE BRITSH ARE COMING

D: so yeah. Alfred grounded us

W: lol Alfred is the best

D: heck yeah he is
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