TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts, and a heavy dose of PTSD and survivor's guilt.

"i'm not really big on torture porn, if i'm being honest, but in a different setting, i might be into this."

—

THE last thing Eden expected on a Tuesday evening in the middle of an apartment tour was a call from Damon claiming he'd taken Mason hostage and was torturing him in the Salvatore living room.

But, against her better judgement — and sinking feeling that something (or someone) was watching her leave the house — she used Jenna's car and drove to the Salvatore residence.

"Damon," she sighed, crossing her arms as she entered. "This is — come on. I already made him bald."

"And he looks fantastic," Damon remarked dryly. "I'm sure Katherine was all over it."

Eden snorted. "I hope I ruined your sex life," she grinned at Mason, who shook his head at her.

He was bound to a chair in the living room, shirt opened with wounds slowly healing. He looked at her sadly.

"Not you too, Eden."

"I'm not really big on torture porn, if I'm being honest, but in a different setting, I might be into this," she grinned, looking between the two of them.

"Remus would be disappointed in you," he told her softly. "You know that, right?"

Eden's face darkened and she took the warm fire-poker from Damon, stabbing Mason directly in the chest with it.

Leaning her face to his, she said, "don't you ever speak his name in my presence again, Mason. He was a hero. You're nothing."

Mason groaned in pain but she watched, a small smile turning up her lips. It felt...good...to watch someone else in pain.

She'd been in pain most of her life, especially the past year. To control another's pain limit, to dictate their screams and the rate in which they healed...

Eden stumbled back, catching her thoughts. "No," she looked to Damon with wide eyes. She handed him the poker, breathing quickening. "I..." she was lost for words, her vision darkening. It was the early signs of an oncoming panic attack. She couldn't become like him.

She was better than Dolohov, Bellatrix, Greyback, Voldemort. Right? She had — she had to be.

Worry crossed Damon's face. "Eden, take a breath."

Eden took a shaky breath, reaching for her phone. "D-Draco," she muttered, as the phone fell to the floor.

Damon searched her frantic face — Mason quiet now, observing the pair, not that she gave a shit — and he caught the phone, handing it to her.

"Call whoever you need. I'm sorry, I didn't — I didn't think this would trigger you. You okay? Need a ride?"

Eden trembled, barely registering his words. All she could focus on was Mason, her eyes watching him fearfully. He looked at her as though seeing her for the first time, but she had a sinking thought that she was doing to him what someone had only recently done to her.

The phone was placed to her ear then. She hadn't even realized Damon had taken it from her, but she could hear Draco Malfoy's prominent drawl loud and clear.

"Better have a good reason for calling this early, Sommers."

"D-Draco," she took a shaky breath, barely getting the words out. "I-I...I..."

Damon took her gently by the arm, tearing her gaze from Mason, though she could feel him watching her, and gently guiding her upstairs.

"Take how long you need," he said with a soft smile, sitting her on the bed. "I'll get you when I'm done, okay?"

Eden didn't acknowledge his words, her body trembling and shivering against her own mind. She could hear laughter, the familiar pin-prickling pain of her own torture entering her mind.

"I'm just like him," she whispered, feeling something wet hit her cheeks. Reaching a hand up, she realized she was crying. "J-just like him."

Damon kissed her head softly, before speeding downstairs, leaving only her and Draco's voice in the otherwise empty bedroom.

"Who did this to you?" Draco's voice cut through her thoughts.

She could focus on him, bringing a sliver of her attention back to the moment. Harry was her rock, her safety net, her lifeline, and he always would be.

But Draco was there during the worst six months of her life and it was his hands that healed her cuts, his voice, sharp as a dagger, that cut through the darkness and provided a sliver of light.

"I-I hurt...I...I'm just like h-him."

"Not even remotely," Draco replied instantly. "You've got a bleeding heart, Eden. You're barely a Gryffindor for Salazar's sake, you'd be a Hufflepuff if it weren't for Potter. You're genuine and good. Nothing like him. Like any of them."

"I hurt him," she whispered softly. "I stabbed him and I liked it. I wanted...I wanted to keep hurting him."

It was quiet for a moment before Draco sighed. "You've been through hell, darling, and it's understandable to want the world to feel your pain. Whatever you did, you had a reason. And it's alright that you enjoyed it. The difference between you and him is that you recognize the fault in that."

"What if I never get better?" She asked hopelessly after a moment. "What if I'm like this forever? And I can't use magic again or...I'm just broken. What if I enjoy pain because I'm just as messed up as they were when they started? What if I lose sight of good and bad and keep stretching limits to meet my own gains?"

"Oh, Eden," he replied gently, through a deep breath. "I wish I could tell you it'll be easy. That you'll wake up one day and feel better. That you won't crave darkness, but that's a lie. Potter won't tell you that, but I will. You're different, Eden. You'll never be the same girl you were before the war. There's an ache in your soul, a hole in your heart and no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try — it will never be filled. That's the costs of using dark magic, love. Potter's never done it. Granger, Weasley, none of them. But you and I know it doesn't leave you. And it won't."

His voice softened. "But I can tell you that if you circumvent your own healing by surrounding yourself with other's sufferings, it'll only get worse. You're neglecting your own health, your own happiness. You've done that since you left the Manor and you haven't stopped. You're running from yourself, Eden. That's why you're scared of magic.

It's different now. Your magic is different now. You're different. You won't be broken forever, I can promise that. But you have to understand it will take some bloody effort, and you can't half-ass it with sarcastic comments and a smile, Eden. You can't expect other people to build a home for your pain because at the end of the day, you're the one standing in the storm. Only you can pick up the bricks and fucking build it. Do you understand me?"

Eden sniffled. "Yeah," she replied softly. "Sorry for calling so late."

Draco breathed out a laugh. "You should be, it's bloody after midnight."

Eden smiled at his words, a calming familiarity sinking over her. "I miss you," she told him earnestly.

The truth. She did.

After his defection and during the crucial months of her healing, just after the war ended, he'd been critical in her recovery. While she had spent most of her time with Harry or Ginny, Draco had been a whisper in the background, a constant in the room.

Childhood grudges were forgotten between he and everyone else — except Ron, bless him — when they'd tried to kick him from Grimmauld Place and she'd had such a severe panic attack she'd passed out.

She hadn't realized how much she'd miss him upon leaving. They hadn't grown apart, per say, but he'd been busy with stabilizing his family's fortune, caring for his mother, and balancing an internship at St. Mungo's.

She had needed him less and less, but the longing for his presence chipped away at her psyche and she hadn't thought about how deeply his absence would wound her.

"Perks of being trauma-bonded," he replied gently. It was the closest he'd get to telling her the same. But she knew. "I'll visit soon, yeah? You free three Saturdays from now? I'll apparate and spend the day or two with you. Should have enough clearance from MACUSA by then."

"Yeah," a smile found Eden's face. "I'd like that a lot."

"I'm proud of you," he spoke quietly, slowly, as if the words almost pained him. She knew he wasn't sentimental or particularly fond of niceties, but he always tried.

"I'm proud of you too. Hermione said you worked a case by yourself?"

She could hear the pride in his voice. "I did, yeah. A friend of Mother's was ill, heard I was working and requested I lead the case. It would have been stupid if I'd been any other intern, she'd assuredly be dead. But I'm not just anyone."

"Spoken like a true Malfoy," Eden replied dryly, and he chuckled.

"Ah, at least I'm not born of Muggles," he responded wryly, without heat. She smiled at the familiar banter. "I actually do have to sleep, but I'll see you soon, alright, darling?"

"Thank you," she finished softly.

"You owe me," he replied. "Waking me up at this hour. Goodbye."

"Bye."

She snapped the phone closed and took a deep breath, embarrassment flooding her cheeks.

Draco was right. She needed to get herself under control — or this would all consume her.

—

"Mason's dead."

Eden blinked, mumbling incoherently, looking up at Damon's face, resting inches from her own.

"What?" She asked sleepily.

"Killed him. Thought you should know."

More awake, Eden sat up and pushed him backwards gently. "You killed Mason? W-why would you do that?"

"He was hiding the moonstone. Has no use for him. Stefan and Elena are getting the moonstone now, and we finally have one over Katherine." He smiled coldly in reverie, sighing. "Feels good to win some."

Eden's stomach sank a his words and she looked down, fiddling with his hands. Should she be happy Mason was dead? Sad?

She didn't particularly like him in the end, but...she didn't want him dead. She didn't really want any deaths on her hands, or hands-adjacent, anymore, with one exception.

Damon kneeled down in front of the bed, grasping her hands lightly. "You okay?" He asked softly. "Mason made comments about your breakdown, I punched him extra hard for it."

Eden smiled wryly, but it probably resembled a grimace more than anything. "Thanks," she whispered.

"Hey," he tsked, reaching a hand to her face and gently cupping it. "You're gonna be fine, Eden. You're strong. And good. You're better than anyone in this town."

Eden's smile widened. "Even Matt Donovan?"

"Fuck Matt Donovan," Damon rolled his eyes, slapping her cheek gently. "Come on, let's give Kitty Kat a call about her new dead boy-toy."

"My favorite pastime," Eden remarked.

—

Eden didn't sleep that night. Something felt wrong. She sat outside in Jenna's car, as she did most nights, but eyes glanced around worriedly. Someone was following her.

Or around her.

Watching her.

She could feel it. The shift in the air, the hairs on the back of her neck, the shiver in her spine.

But who?

At first, she thought it was Dolohov, but after questioning Harry, he'd confirmed he was last sighted in Washington — the other side of the country.

She could buy a bit more time. But how much longer?

She'd moved to the front porch, the house behind her providing a security blanket the backseat if Jenna's car lacked.

She'd pulled her wand from the drawer.

Carefully, she moved it between her fingers. She danced it around, felt each small engraving and dent, and balanced it on her knee.

But she hadn't used it.

Each time she thought about a small spell, something light and inconsequential; Lumos or Leviosa, she found herself freezing.

The darkness slithered up her arm, coiled around her veins and punctured deep into her bloodstream. The mere thought of magic with her anchor had her gasping for breath and digging her palms into her eyes.

And now it sat in front of her on the ground. It would've rolled down the driveway if not charmed otherwise, as all wands were.

She observed it carefully; arms wrapped over her knees, leaned against the wall, cross-legged.

It never moved.

But she could feel its presence in the wind. She could feel the burden it carried. Eden could pinpoint each inkling, each worry it cast towards and away from her.

She mulled over different spells, from first year to newt level, to unforgivable, and they all produced the same feeling of sheer emptiness and misery that already squeezed her heart too tightly.

Something was wrong with her. Eden was sick, poisoned, and a death sentence rested ominously in her soul. A shattered image of the girl she was once, the one she claimed to peruse through Mystic Falls as.

But that girl was dead.

She'd died with the first killing curse cast from the wand, and the mirror had been cracked, and each curse thereafter deepened the rupture of her sanity.

Eden could hardly recognize herself. She found no semblance of laughter or kindness in her own mind. There was no light in the darkness, no walls to keep away the demons clawing their way around.

And the more she pretended, the further and further she'd get from redemption. Her eyes scratched mindlessly at the word permanently etched on her forearm, glamoured to appear as nothing more than her skin to Muggles.

Her eyes found the wand again. It haunted her. It mocked her. It was destroying her from the inside out.

And yet...

It was only a wand. An extension of herself, yes, but still, only a wand. It was not inherently dark, just as she was not inherently dark. But darkness corrupted the innocent and twisted them into mindless creatures for its own bidding — did it not? Is that not what happened with Voldemort? Bealltrix? Even Dolohov?

Or was evil born and darkness only nursed an already depraved soul? Did it fester within goodness and corrupt from within? Or could it not exist without an already immoral base?

Surely, Harry was inherently good. He was born self-sacrificial, his blood pumped full of righteous, whole-hearted purity — but if the theory of predetermined evil rang true, then surely Draco was such? The foil to Harry's innocence?

But she knew Draco. Chalked-full of ambition and self-preservation and masochism, he had much potential to be a slave to nefarious circumstances.

And yet, in his core, that wasn't Draco. He was fiercely protective of those he loved, and compassionate, so much so, that he was using his father's blood-money as the foundation for his own research finding a reversal for the effects of the cruciatius curse.

Surely, someone that good wasn't villainous?

But if he had goodness — so too, must her enemies. Harry always said Tom Riddle was scared. Brilliant, unorthodox, and sociopathic, but rooted in fear of death and turmoil.

Did that mean he had a potential for redemption before his demise? Before the destruction of his soul?

Eden rubbed her temple, exhaustion hitting her again. She couldn't sleep. She hadn't slept more than few hours in what felt like days.

The pertinence of her own self-imposed destruction and contemptible nature surged at the forefront of her mind.

The promise to George Weasley sat in the back of her mind, a small string tying her to a purpose she felt existed outside of herself.

She had no reason for living, other than a few people who would truly be better off without her. The more she continued down her immoral road to self-actualization, the less she wanted to keep trying.

Picking up the wand gently, she fiddled with it again. She tried to remember the goodness she felt at eleven, the innocence in her eyes, the excitement in her words as she gushed about its beauty and the feeling of her wand promising a bright future.

A tear fell from her eyes and she chewed on her inner cheek, feeling nothing but resentment and discouragement echoing through her mind.

The wand was an extension of herself, and if Draco was correct in his words: she'd never truly be whole enough to wield it the same again.

And that terrified her.

—

okay so less tvdu plot and more Harry Potter plot for this one because that IS Eden's story. Also, I've been rewatching hunger games and reading TBOSAS and I'm feeling very introspective and reflective on the true definition of good and evil.

There's a lot here that will be brought up more in the future, especially with her relationship to our favorite originals.
Also, sorry, she wasn't really needed this episode??? I just feel like it's such a meh episode to me and the torture would've definitely triggered Eden, so sorry for that.

Hope you like a lil sneak peak with her and Draco hehe

Next chapter we get to "kill" Katherine and then Elijah ;)