CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

"i don't have it in me to lose you"

—

NIKLAUS didn't answer the first time Eden called him.

But by the fourth time, he sounded tired. His voice was soft and worn.

She missed hearing it. She missed him.

"Four times in one day?" He asked. She could hear the smile in his voice. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I need you," Eden bit her lip. "A...lot has come out and I...I'm worried about you alone. And I don't want another full moon like the last."

"I'll never put you through that again," he replied immediately. "I swear, Eden, I'm so sorry."

Eden was quiet, her heart aching at the memory. She was so lonely and terrified.

"Did you ask Tyler to stay that night?"

"No," he confessed. "I told him to keep an eye on you. Did he shift with you?"

"Yeah," Eden admitted. "I think I'd have hurt myself otherwise."

"I'm so sorry," he replied, his voice strained. "I am coming home. And...Eden, I will spend every day making this up to you."

Eden nodded, eyes filling with tears. "I think they're going to try something with Mikael."

Silence.

"I know."

Of course he knew. Niklaus knew everything, just as Elijah did. One would be stupid to presume otherwise.

"When I return, I wish to bring my brothers back," he addd after a moment. "Kol and Finn. You will like them, especially Kol. But there will be tension, lítill úlfur."

"Just come home."

"I am."

—

"I'll be gone a few days," Draco told Eden, bottling the extra potions. "Mother is very ill, I'm not sure what's wrong with her. Granger will be with me, and it's not terrible timing as Theo will be there—"

"—Oh, I miss Theo," Eden whined. "How is he?"

"He's alright." A small smile played at his lips. "I think he's found his soulmate, but he hasn't said anything. See if you can wiggle it out of him. He always pitied you."

"Could be the torture card," Eden shrugged.

Draco hummed. "Probably. You're pathetic, actually."

"I can't wait for you to leave," she rolled her eyes with a fond smile. "Tell your mother I said hello."

His eyes softened, glancing over at her. "You should write to her more. Your letters brighten her day."

"Really?" Eden asked in confusion.

Draco nodded and Eden thought of her relationship with his mother. While Draco had been the one to heal her and keep her sane during her time as a prisoner, she could recall moments where Narcissa turned attention from Eden to others.

A warm blanket, a soft touch her hair, and of course, how she'd saved Harry's life and ensured they'd won the war.

They were not...friends by any means and Narcissa had seen Eden at her most vulnerable and unsafe, and hadn't truly helped her, unlike her son.

But she had saved Harry.

And she raised Draco.

Without her, two of the most important people in her life would not be alive and she'd always be grateful for that. And she kept Katherine in check, even if she'd still been missing.

(They'd all hit a dead end on the search for her. The only fact they knew was that she couldn't come after Niklaus or Eden, as she'd been compelled to kill herself if she tried.)

"Alright, Sommers." Draco straightened. "You going to be alright here?"

Eden nodded. "Nik's coming back and I've got Elijah. And Stef and Bex."

"Good." He placed a hand on her cheek, brushing hair behind her ear. "I'm only a call away, okay?"

"I know."

"Remember your cell," he reminded gently. "You're safe there if anyone tries to get into your head. And Eden," he moved his other hand to her cheek, cupping her face with both hands now. "You are strong. You can use your magic. Light and dark. Because you, at your core, are good. Do you understand me?"

Eden nodded. "You're so mushy."

"Shut up," he pulled her into a hug and pressed a kiss to her head. "I feel like something is changing. In my gut." He whispered. "You protect what is yours."

Eden nodded, squeezing him and then letting go. He winked and then turned to the floo, leaving in a flash of green.

Eden sighed, sitting down on the sofa.

I feel like something is changing.

She knew what he meant.

Eden felt it, too.

—

"Elskan?"

Eden looked up from Guide To Advanced Occlumency: Volume Two (Forward By Hermione Granger) and met Elijah's eyes.

"Niklaus called, he's delayed, but on the way." At Eden's eye roll, he walked towards her and pulled her to his chest, wrapping an arm around her. "You have no obligation to forgive him."

"He says he wants to bring your family back," she informed him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. "How do you feel about that?"

"I worry about Finn," he confessed, resting his chin on her head. "But I think Kol will do well here. With the right temperament and control, he could be very happy. I think having Stefan around will help, too."

"Blood addicts anonymous?" Eden quipped and he chuckled.

"Precisely."

They were quiet for a few minutes, Eden toying with his hand before she sighed, speaking again.

"He really hurt me," she settled on. "Made me feel...expendable to him."

"You are not—"

"—To you, maybe, but—"

"—But nothing, Elskan. You are not in any capacity expendable. You are everything to me and to Niklaus. One day he'll understand how to...stop pushing everyone away."

"I don't know if I can wait for an indefinite."

Elijah hummed in thought. "You've forever with us now, darling. You're his Valinn."

"What do you mean?" Eden's eyes snapped up to his, confusion filling her gaze. "I'm — I'm a witch first. I've only just become a wolf and—"

"—Ask him, my love."

"More questions and hidden truths." Eden rolled her eyes, nuzzling against Elijah. "Brilliant."

—

Rebekah was acting distant.

Stefan noticed it first, and it confused him.

And then Stefan was acting distant and it confused Eden.

Eden reread the line again in her book, nibbling on a sugar quill. Why weren't they speaking to her? Had she done something? They were ignoring Elijah, too.

It felt...strange. Uncomfortable.

Wrong.

Eden checked her phone again for any messages or updates, but so far nothing. Elijah was in Richmond for the evening, a meeting with someone important whose name Eden forgot immediately after hearing it.

Normally, he wouldn't have left her alone but she had her wand and Nik would be home in a few hours.

Stefan and Rebekah were supposed to be home.

Eden tried not to dwell on it. She tried to think positively, pragmatically. Her friends were horny little beings and they could very well be off canoodling somewhere.

But Remus' words drifted in and out of her mind.

If you trust the wrong people, you'll die.

Who were the wrong people? Why was everything so life and death with Eden? Why couldn't she just have one normal month with her people without some life-threatening eviction notice trying to hinder her?

She hoped her gut was wrong. That her paranoia was the issue. That everything would be fine and Remus was wrong.

Because Stefan and Rebekah wouldn't betray her, right? They loved her. And they loved Nik and Elijah.

But Mikael was a wild card.

Eden hadn't a clue where the Scooby Gang had picked up such a person, or what their plan was, but she prayed to every possible god that it backfired. That her family would be safe.

There was a line being drawn in the sand, and she hoped the wind blew on the right side.

The front door opened and Eden jumped, startled by the noise. Looking up, her heart somersaulted in her chest, knocking the air from her lungs.

He looked so beautiful.

"Eden."

She stood at his voice but didn't walk. She couldn't move. Bound by her anger and disappointment, flooded with relief and adoration, she was consumed by her emotions in a storm of hope and resentment.

Why couldn't Niklaus just love her as she deserved? Why couldn't he love her as Elijah did? Why hadn't he been there for her during the full moon?

He was in front of her in a second, her own legs jelly, wobbling as he caught her from falling to her knees.

"Hello, ástin mín."

Eden's voice was swallowed by her disbelief that he was truly there, truly in front of her. Watching her, standing several inches above her, eyes soft and regretful and loving.

His hands found her cheeks, gentle and warm. His rings were cold against her skin, and her eyes flickered closed at the feeling.

She missed him.

"I'm so sorry," he said softly, thumbs tracing her cheekbones delicately. "I deserve nothing short of your hatred and your anger and—"

"—You left me."

"I...I'm so sorry."

"It was a full moon."

Niklaus nodded, meeting her eyes again. "I know. I felt it. I felt your pain, my poor sweet girl. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, elsku engillinn minn."

"I don't want to forgive you."

Niklaus didn't tense or move his hands from her. He appeared resigned. Exhausted. Understanding of her pain. He didn't fight her on it.

"You shouldn't." He told her gently. "I don't wish to make excuses, I'm so sorry for treating you like this. I'm...fucking terrified, Eden."

Eden opened her mouth to speak, to offer words of comfort, but he shook his head, eyes pleading with her to listen.

And she did.

"My family is all that I have ever loved in my entire existence. And it's tumultuous and unsteady and hard to be a Mikaelson. We despise one another, we're jealous of the other, we create chaos and wreak destruction and pain. And I love them. And I know they love me." His eyes filled with tears. "Rebekah is finally happy, and she's with my best friend, which is lucky for everyone because otherwise I'd rip his heart out."

Nik's thumbs continued to gently stroke her cheeks. "I have known no other love in my entire life than that of my family. I have sought my Valinn at every turn, and hoped and prayed she'd be half the person I created in my head."

Eden's eyes filled with tears, wondering if this was a confession or some sort of breakup. Was he telling her she wasn't good enough? Or perhaps there was a mistake made and —

"You exceeded every expectation I could have ever placed." He told her softly, clenching his jaw so as not to cry. "I'm so sorry I hurt you that night in the gymnasium, and on the full moon, and every moment before and since."

He leaned his head down a few inches and placed a kiss to her forehead. Her own tears were welling at the kindness, the softness he was showing her.

This was her Nik. Not the man he'd transformed into the past few weeks. But soft, gentle, kind Nik.

"I thought that a Valinn would be a possession," he confessed softly. "That you were something to claim. But you're so much more than that.

"You're like...it's like the world stops turning when I'm with you, Eden." A tear fell from his eye and annoyance flashed his features, angry at himself for showing emotion. "And everything...feels good and safe and...it's like I can breathe and I'm tethered to you by this bond. I know that I haven't explained everything and I will once we have a moment but...

"Fuck, this is hard." He took a breath. "I've never...I haven't said it except when we were children. I didn't believe it existed beyond family until I met you."

Her own tears fell at his words. She knew where he was going with this. Where he was trying to go.

"It's okay, you don't have to say it," she told him softly.

"I do." Nik replied firmly. "You need to hear it and I'm terrible at showing it. I'm so scared I'll lose you." His voice cracked and he let out a breath, tears threatening to fall. "When you were kidnapped, it was...the worst feeling I have ever known. And after you were better, I pushed you away because I-I didn't want to go through that again.

"I don't have it in me to lose you."

Her hands found his face too, reverently touching his skin, the scruff of his shadow, the ends of his hair. Her fingers trailed to the back of his neck and the pair stared at one another, the heavy declaration brewing above them.

"I love you, Eden." He confessed quietly. "I swear I'll do better, if you'll give me the chance. I will honor you and protect you and I will spend every moment for the next thousand years trying to make up for the pain I've caused you."

A soft sob left her at his words. The truth sat between them, heavy and painful, but so freeing.

He loved her. Not only as his Valinn, but as her.

"I love you, Nik."

Niklaus gave a watery smile, pressing another kiss to her head. "You are my everything, Eden. I would sooner burn this world to ash than let any harm befall you again."

"I love you."

A shaky inhale, a hint of disbelief in the breath — the feeling that no one could ever love him the way she did, but she meant it.

Merlin, she meant it.

"I love you."

And then his hand moved to the back of her head, pulling her to him in a deep, hungry kiss.

He was like breathing in smoke after a fire. All-consuming and detrimental and painful, but he was the aftermath of a storm and she couldn't clean herself of him.

And she never wanted to.

Elijah was a river. A body of water dedicated in bringing life and peace and tranquility. He was calm and collected and offered comfort.

Niklaus was a raging fire. He was a sandstorm and a tsunami and a terrible, aching yearning that couldn't be filled by anything else.

Elijah kept her grounded.

Niklaus set her free.

"I love you," he mumbled against her lips, as though he couldn't stop saying it. As though he didn't believe she'd heard him, that this was real.

His hands found her waist and her shirt was gone in seconds, tossed to the ground. She did the same with him, a growing need between them that tugged and pulled at their insides, gnawing for pain over pleasure.

"I love you," she replied easily, the words slipping from her lips as effortlessly as taking a breath.

"I need you," he pulled back just a fraction, head against hers. "Please, Valinn, I need you."

"You have me."

A swear fell from his lips and then he was reaching for her pants, tugging them off. She was on her back on the sofa, looking up at him.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he gazed down at her reverently, eyes so full of adoration it constrained her oxygen and made her cheeks burn. "So beautiful and all fucking mine."

He moved over her in an instant, taking her lips in his again.

It was rough and hungry. There was no hint of softness, no sweet feathered kisses.

No, this was more than promises. More than whispered praises and worship. This was desperate and needy and she wanted more than to be with him.

She needed him more than she needed to breathe. His touch burned her, grazed over her skin in almost painful touches, rough exploratory fingers and bruising kisses.

But, gods, she needed more.

All she could think about was him. Was his lips on her neck, his tongue on her neck, trailing to her chest. His eyes on hers as he took her breast in his mouth, his hand roaming south.

"I love you," she whimpered, biting her lip.

"Don't do that," he pulled away from her breath. "I want to fucking hear you, Eden."

"Yes, Nik," she breathed out, bucking her hips against his hand, a gasp leaving her when his fingers trailed along the edge of her remaining clothing.

He tsked, nibbling her nipple between his teeth. "I'm going to make you come without even putting my hand in," he told her, his voice a promise of what was to come, his eyes full of dark desire.

A soft moan left her and she throbbed in pleasure at only his words and his tongue.

"Do you know how much I've wanted to touch you, litla ástin?"

A whine left her and she moved her hips again. "Please..."

"No, none of that now," he clicked his tongue again, then peppered soft kisses along her chest. His tongue found Dolohov's scar along her chest and he kept his eyes on her as he trailed along it.

Her head fell back at the sensation, his hand cupping her core, warmth pooling at her center.

She was aching for him, desperate for him. She needed him inside her, needed any sort of friction, but he wouldn't allow it. His thumb and finger gathered her knickers, pinching the bundle of nerves under it.

He grinned at the half-sob, half-moan that left her.

"So fucking wet, Eden," he nipped at her skin. "Such a pretty mess for me, coming undone like this."

Eden bit her lip again, stifling a moan, and his eyes narrowed.

"I told you to stop that," he told her, hand still cupping her core. He leaned up and pulled her lip from between her teeth with his own, trailing his tongue along it. "You're not a very good listener, are you?"

"No," Eden whimpered. "I...please, I just need..."

"I know what you need," his lips brushed hers, "and you're so fucking desperate for it, aren't you?"

Eden nodded, a whimper leaving her throat.

"I did say I'd make you come without touching you," he hummed. "But I'm not my brother, my word isn't stone." He grinned against her mouth. "Do you want to me touch you, litla sauma mín?"

Eden nodded and he kissed her softly in response. She clung to his lips, taking everything he'd give her, hips moving against his hand, silently begging him to touch her.

Then he pulled back entirely, gazing down at her. He sat up near where her thighs were, looking over her body with what could only be described as hunger.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he whispered again, moving his finger delicately up her thigh. It sent a shiver through her and her thighs moved together, but he clicked his tongue and pushed them apart.

"None of that, now, I told you that in the car." He told her, eyes flickering to hers. "Or did you forget that lesson?"

Heat pooled at his words, cheeks flushing as she recalled the car. So many weeks before with his hand grazing her, setting her ablaze.

Merlin, he'd always been able to set her aflame. Always able to douse her in flames and burn her, and she found so much pleasure in the torment he brought onto her.

His finger hitched over the edge of her black lace and he pulled them off. Slowly, gently, he lifted her legs, kissing from her ankle to her calve, to the bottom of her thigh.

He tossed the garment across the room.

"Fuck," he swore, looking down at her. "I'm gonna fuck you full of me," he promised. His fingers trailed up her thigh, grazing over her stomach, her hips, the edge of her.

Everywhere except where she needed him.

"You're dripping, can you feel that?" He asked her, a single digit snaking across her core. She gasped, body tightening and moving up at the feeling. He laughed, then took his finger and tasted it, moaning softly.

"Fuck, you taste delectable, darling," he breathed out. "That's not for today though." He told her. "When I taste you, I will do it properly." His dimples were on full display with his smile. "Today's just my hand."

"No," she whimpered, the longing thought of his body against hers slipping.

"No?" He raised an eyebrow. "Are you arguing with me?"

Eden shook her head. "No, but I..."

"What, pretty girl?" He asked softly, hand teasing her again, gently sliding along her folds, a smirk on his lips as slick pooled between them.

"I...want you."

The pressure was too much. Building and building exponentially with no finish. Nothing to ease her yearning, her desperate body.

"You have me."

"No, Nik," she whined. "Please?"

He hummed in thought. "I suppose I do like the thought of breaking this sweet little cunt in with my cock," he mulled, and she shivered at his words, then gasped when he slipped a finger into her roughly, burying it deep before pulling it out again. "I could make you come twice, I suppose."

Eden nodded, watching him breathlessly. She ached for the friction again, needing that back. It felt so good for only a moment. If he could just —

He slipped it in again, letting out a noise of contentment when her eyelids fluttered. "That's it, lovely," he purred. "So fucking desperate for me."

Eden nodded, moving her body against him, wanting him to move. He just kept the finger there, he wasn't doing anything like she needed him to.

She could feel his ring around his finger, the cool metal against her warmth chilling her spine and sending another pleasured shiver through her.

"Fucking hells, you're so tight," he breathed out. "Clenching around my finger like a horny little thing." He grinned wolfishly. "I like that idea, yes. You deserve it. I haven't been very kind to you, I wish to make that up."

He added a second finger and a moan left her in pleasure.

"Hm, look how good you take that," he cooed, "you're so fucking good, Eden."

Her eyes watered at the praise, and a breathless moan escaped her as he pulled his fingers back and then slipped them forward again.

Finally, finally, finally, she could feel something. Relief flooded her as he built up her pleasure. Slowly, painfully slowly, despite her pleads, he thrust his fingers in a rhythmic pace that dulled her senses.

Her vision darkened and her ears rang and all she could feel was his fingers inside her. All she cared about was his fingers inside her. The pressure building, the relief it brought her to be so close to the edge.

She was so close, she could feel it.

"Are you...?" He chuckled. "Sweet girl, you're not coming yet," he tsked, pulling his hand from her entirely. She whimpered at the lack of him, the emptiness that filled her.

"I'm going to fuck you now," he told her casually.

Eden watched him stand, take off his pants, his eyes on hers the entire time.

"Look at you," he purred, slipping out of his boxers. "So fucking needy, Eden."

Nothing stood between them now.

Fucking hells, he was huge.

Thicker than Elijah, but not quite as long.

Eden could feel the promise between them, the knowledge that nothing would be the same after this.

They'd already given the other their hearts, their souls were intertwined, and now their bodies would follow suit.

He moved back onto the sofa, getting onto his knees. He hitched her hips up, her head against the arm, watching his smirk as he toyed with the bundle of nerves at her core.

"We're going to ruin this sofa," he told her, "everyone will know what we've done on it. And you like that, don't you?"

He grinned, chuckling as her core clenched at his words. "You're a fucking slut, Eden," he met her eyes, dimples sending a pang of love through her chest. "But you're my little slut. Mine to fuck like this. I'll buy you another sofa. And I'll fuck you on that, too."

Eden nodded as he pulled his fingers in and out of her lazily, pleasing her effortlessly.

"My good fucking girl, look at you," he praised softly as she kept her eyes on his, soft gasps and noises leaving her lips. "All mine, pretty girl."

Eden nodded again, words catching in her throat as he slipped his fingers out of her.

"Think you're ready?"

Eden paused at his question, then realized he was asking for consent. She nodded.

"Tell me if it's too much," he told her softly, readying himself outside of her. She could feel the tip grazing her walls and her eyelids fluttered in pleasure. "Pick a word, Eden."

"Moon," she blurted out, the first one to come to mind.

He thought for a moment, then nodded. "Remember that, litli úlfur," he told her. "I'll stop if you say it."

"Don't stop," she replied, eyes on his. "I can take it."

"Yeah?" He asked, slowly inching into her. A low groan rumbled in his chest as he began to fill her, and a moan left her lips. "You can take what I give you?"

"Yess," she gasped out, hand tightening around the sofa cushion, the other finding his hand. He smiled down at her lovingly, inching into her, intertwining their fingers.

"I love you so much," he breathed out, bottoming in her. "Do you know that?"

Eden nodded, eyes on his again. The air was filled with arousal, dripping with desire, but there was a tenderness there she couldn't explain. "I love you so much."

"Good girl," he whispered.

A second passed, and then he moved.

His free hand gripped her hip, squeezing tightly as he set a fast, steady pace, thrusting into her. He nearly pulled out with each time, then bottomed into her when he moved back.

The moans that gathered in her throat left her effortlessly, and pleasure soon consumed her. She felt the first release approaching, already so built up from his teasing earlier.

"That's it," he cooed, hand moving from her hip to her nerves, rubbing in circles lightly, his other hand squeezing hers. "Fucking come around my cock, love."

Pleasure ripped through Eden at the permission, the promise of more, the feeling of him deep inside her, filling her completely.

Their bodies were one, their souls were one, their hearts belonged to the other.

Tears pooled in her eyes as she released around him, soft moans leaving her lips.

"That's it," he praised her, eyes on her face. "So fucking pretty when you come, love."

Eden whimpered as her visioned darkened, his thrusts increasing in speed. She knew he was tapping into something inhuman, letting himself go as she finished her first round of pleasure.

He grinned at her face, moving his hand from her clit to her right breast, cupping it in his hand. He leaned forward, deepening his thrusts and moving their intertwined hands above her head.

"So fucking good," he muttered, his speed quickening more. She felt another release, a second wave approaching.

"Niiiik," she whined and he chuckled.

"Yes, my love?"

"'M...please...more..."

"Need more?" He chuckled at her words, increasing the pace even more.

It was like nothing she'd ever felt. She could feel every rim, every inch of him in a buzzing, endless pace, deepening with every thrust and pulling her pleasure from her before she even knew it was there.

"You're so fucking needy, Eden," he grunted. "God, a fucking cunt like this," he growled, leaning down and brushing his tongue against her lips.

"So fucking good for me," he praised her, another sound leaving him.

He was close too.

They would come together.

"I fucking love you," he grunted, "oh, you feel so fucking good. So fucking tight. So fucking perfect. Perfect fucking cunt."

Praises and groans left him as he reached his peak. She pushed off her release as his hand gripped her hip again, bruising her skin.

She hated bruises, hated scars, hated marks. Hated belonging to someone else.

But not Niklaus.

"You're mine," she gasped out, squeezing his hand. "I'm yours."

"Fuck, fuck," he gasped out in response. "I'm gonna fucking fill you up, little one," he promised, "gonna fucking make you swell, you know that? Gonna train this cunt so it only fits my cock, and I'm gonna breed your little fucking — fuck, fuck—"

Eden moaned at his words, the unexpected kinks leaving his mouth in a hazed desire and she couldn't stop the ecstasy that ripped through her.

She came around him and he followed quickly, groaning. His necklaces bounced onto her chest as an orgasm ripped through them, his rings digging into her fingers.

"I love you," he moaned out, eyes meeting hers again.

"I love you," she whimpered.

His finish shot through her and she felt the warmth pooling between them, into her body, settling deep inside her.

She wanted more. God, she wanted to be full like this forever.

"That's it," he breathed out, moving his hand to her hair as he rode them through the release, his pace softer and slower, cum slipping between them, pooling between her legs, dripping onto the couch. "That's my girl."

Eden's breath was heavy and panting, her eyes full of satiated bliss. He leaned down with a small smile and pressed a kiss to her head.

"So good," he praised her, letting go of her hand and stopping his movements. He pulled her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her palm. "I love you, I'm never going to stop saying it."

"That's alright," she smiled up at him, eyes shining. She felt so complete in this moment. Her heart was hammering against her chest from exertion but her mind was clear, her thoughts quiet. "I love hearing it."

Niklaus was fire and smoke and aggression, but he was oxygen and rebirth and sanctuary.

He was a beacon of light in her abysmal mind and he was warmth when her mind could find none.

Niklaus ruined her, yes, but he'd rebuilt her from ashes and she knew, deep down, that loving him came with the risk of being burned.

She was only lucky enough that he kept the fire from harming her.

He was hers.

And she was his.

__

TRANSLATIONS:
ástin min - my love
elsku engillinn min - my sweet angel
litla - little one
litla ástin - little love
litla sauma mín - my sweet little slut
litla stúlkan - little girl
litli úlfur - little wolf

okey soooo been awhile soooorryyyyy
hopefully this smut was okay? I hate it personally lol so idk
they just needed to bang idc
im so meh about writing smut i always feel so weird doing it so hopefully this wasn't bad
but they finally!!!! confessed!!!! their!!!!! feelings!!!!!
fucking idiots stg
so NOW she's accepted both her soulmate and her alpha AND she's working on her magic (heavily) again sooo who's ready for the turning of the tides?
i said at the very beginning that s3 is when things go AU and honey yall better believe its coming heh thank you for readinnnggg <333