I can't blame you for allowing me to fall for you. The decision to love was made by my heart without the assistance of my brain. My emotions running wild and misguided feelings were at fault. But you were at FAULT for selling me a cheap version of you that anyone looking for love could afford, rather than the real you.
-Pierre J.

It felt like a part of Omar has been snatched away, taken away from him.
He couldn't describe how he feels, the longing to see, feel or touch his son again. Omar paced up and down the foyer as thoughts crowded his mind. He wanted to see his child. He hasn't set his eyes on him since the first day. The Omar he used to be would have walked to the room and demanded to see his son but this Omar, something changed. Since the day he set his eyes on his son, he wanted to be a better person and a better father in her eyes. HER, yes her. He wasn't sure if he's trying to impress her by staying away but it kills him slowly every passing second. She never left the room since she was discharged and brought back to the Manor as Ummu insisted. It was clear she wanted him out of the way and he was determined to give her all the space she wanted. Because he wants to prove himself. Yes He a whole Omar wants to prove himself to Her. Something's change. Yes definitely something has changed.
The 7th day came slower than all days and to say it was one of the happiest moments of his life was an understatement. Today according to Sunnah he was to name his child officially, his son, a whole part of him.
He dressed up in white and went inside to meet Abbi. After exchanging pleasantries Abbi asked him to go and get the child and meet them at the Masjid for the official naming of the child. He half raced through the hallway and when he stood by the door of the room, he couldn't bring himself to knock. What if she still doesn't want to see him? Maybe she cries and screams at him? He knew he was the last person she's expecting to show up but today he sees his son again and nothing else matters, no she matters.

Knock Knock.
He stood there reciting small duas and Hameeda opened the door revealing a smiling Omar.

and her facial expression vanished. She just frowned and turned back.

Abbi asked me to pick him up. For the naming.
He muttered

She didn't reply as she walked passed him. Omar walked straight to the bed where a sleeping Hisham lay and picked him up.

Salaam Alayka Habibi.
He kissed his forehead.
Daddy missed you.
He sighed
He wants you to know that he'll always be there for you.
He let out a long breath as he sniffed the baby's scent.
I love you so much I feel like ripping my heart off and replacing it with you. Daddy has never felt so much pain than these six days he didn't set his eyes on you or hear you cry. I hope you didn't trouble your Ummi.

He kept going on and on as She took a deep breath where she sat down at the end of the bed and listened to Omar pour what seems to be his heart out. If he has one. For she never thought he had a heart, or love for someone in it, especially for their son, her son which he nearly made her loose.

A call came from the intercom which interrupted both of them.

Salaam Ummu

Yes.

He'll be ready in a minute.

Okay I'll be there.

She smiled and ended the call walking up to him and taking the baby from him. She had already set out about four baby clothes and was contemplating on which to choose for him to wear first. Ummu had informed her earlier of a walimah (celebratory get-together) they were having later during the day for the naming ceremony.  He watched her pick one of the clothes, dressed him up, placed him gently back on the bed and headed for the balcony.

Hameeda paced up and down the room when 30 minutes later there was no sign of both Omar and her son. Her mind came up with all the possible ways he had tricked her and took her baby away, she sat once more by the door keeping it slightly open for when he comes back and five minutes later he pushed the door and walked in.

I'm sorry there were a lot of people who wanted to see him and.....

He didn't finish his sentence when she took the baby away from Omar and brought him closer to her chest as she heaved in relief. He was still sleeping when later she changed him to a lighter cloth and placed him on the baby crib next to the bed.

She raised her head to look at him giving him the "are you done" look.

Umm Hisham....
He called and from where she stood something leapt in her heart. She tried to smile but she knew this was one of his ways, his tricks to try to win her over, or as always use her and dump her. He has Hisham as leverage now but that Hameeda, she is over him, like forever. So instead of acknowledging she just kept her gaze to her son who slept peacefully.

Thank you to for Hisham.
He muttered.

And she stood up from where she sat and headed for the balcony. She drew one of the bamboo chairs and sat down her heartbeat erratic like she had run a marathon. She was full of rage, she had vowed not to speak to him or even listen because that is where he sells himself to her, tell her what her heart wants to hear and before you know it she's breaking all barriers and getting swoon by his words. It won't ever repeat itself ever. She heard him slide the glass door and walking in he drew a chair a little distant from her and sat down.
Minutes passed and none of them spoke. She was keeping her vow of not speaking to him and he sat there wondering the reason behind the silence. He stood up and left.

The rest of the day passed as guest gathered, ate , talked and took pictures. Hameeda was passing through a phase in her life she never thought she'd go through alone without her real family. The baby was passed around as everyone held and kissed him. After the crowd  dispersed, the rest of the family sat around a fire  near the pond and talked about their childhood. They spoke a little about Omar too and when he joined the family for the first time, mainly the funny part which was all new to Hameeda for she had dreamt of meeting that Omar too, but she believed he died a long time ago or was it when she came to his life?. Some minutes later Abbi and Omar joined the crowd indicating that the male guests have left too. Omar sat near Ummu who held Hisham and the teasing began as to how he sits anywhere else but close to  Ummu all the time and today because she was holding his baby he sat beside her. They were all laughing so he decided to trade places with Siham who sat near Hameeda to prove he wasn't sitting next to Ummu because she held his baby.

Hi.
He whispered to Hameeda who's head rested on one of the cushions oblivious of what was going on.
He brought her back from her trance and when she noticed they've trade places she tried to get up and make any excuse to leave.

Don't. I'll leave.
He muttered again close enough not for anyone to hear except her.

Where are you going? We were just telling Hameeda all the funny childhood moments you had here.
Susan stopped him pulling into his Jallabiyya to sit down.

Hey I wasn't a child that time. Man was in his teens. And I needed something inside.
He added as he walked to the house.

Once inside he paced around the guest room wondering what to do. Everyone was outside as today was supposed to be a happy day for them all. He picked up his phone and dialled her and after three missed calls he dialled Ummu.

Ummu Can I speak to her please?

And Ummu handed her the phone. Not knowing who it was she brought it closer to her ear and spoke.

Salaam.....
She answered the phone and all he did was let out a deep breath.

I called your phone. That's why I called Ummu. Because you didn't pick.

She just listened as she walked towards the hammocks that swung slowly on the other side of the pond.

I know you don't want to talk to me, or listen to me but please if this will be the last time just please hear me out.

This time she sat carefully on one of the hammocks letting it swing slowly as she listens.

I just want to say Thank you. Thank you Hameeda for being the mother of Hisham. Thank you for staying strong for him, for bringing him out to this world despite all the obstacles. Thank you for bringing so much happiness to my life.

He paused and she just couldn't believe her ears.

I've never felt so much love and happiness in my entire life like the times I get to hold him, I will forever be indebted to you for the sacrifice you made to bring him to this world.

She wiped a single tear that fought to drop. If he had told her this the last week, she would have been over the moon, but the Hameeda he is selling these lies to today. She promised never to be that stupid.

Hameeda you have a big heart, I sit down and think of all the things I've put you through and yet still you fought to bring a part of me to this world. I am full of regret everytime I remember this believe me...
He sighed and then paused for a long time.

I understand you don't want to talk to me, or have anything to do with me yet even listen to me and I know you want space, I promise to give you all the space you want no matter what it will cost me. Hameeda I hate that it's costing me the distance between me and my son but  believe me I want to give it a try. Just to show you my gratitude. Please let me give it a try.

She gazed at the stars now listening to each word he had uttered. She didn't say a word not that she didn't have a thousand questions and harsh words to bombard him with. But she was done. The deal is sealed. She had nothing more to say to him, nothing more to fight over, and nothing more to offer. she blamed herself for thinking life was a bed of roses, for falling in love with the idea of him and then finding out it wasn't mutual, it crushed her, and the times he acted and she thought everything was getting back to normal or he's found his right senses and she's so happy and then everything is ripped away from her, by him. It hurt like hell. She wanted to tell him that she didn't need his thanks, and what she thought of all the words he said being nothing other than lies, or that she thinks he was coerced to say it....

You can take all the time you need to think about it. About us as a family. I know it's sudden believe me it's sudden and new to me too. Help me give this a try Hameeda.
He interrupted her thoughts and once again only silence filled the air and when she had had enough, she ended the call.

~~~~~~
2 Days later
Gathering all the courage she had mustered, Hameeda said Salaam and entered the vast living room, Abbi was seated on one of the massage chairs a newspaper covering his view. He didn't hear her come in as the chair vibrated and the sound of thunder doomed as it echoed as it rains.

Salaam
she spoke again this time a bit louder and he peeped from behind the newspaper.

Ahh binti how are you? Come in.
He motioned for her to come near and she sat a little bit away from him on the carpeted floor.

How have you been? Ummu said you've been keeping to yourself and always in the room. This is your home too binti....

And all the things she came to say vanished as she felt hot tears about to well up in her eyes.

Are you okay? Is everything alright?
Abbi asked when she was silent.

Abbi please I want to go home.
She muttered her voice low

Abbi sighed.
It's okay binti. You can talk to me.

I want to go home.
This time she was clear.

long island?

Long island.. and Nigeria.

Abbi didn't ask her why? He sensed that since she could pass Ummu and everyone at home and come to him directly then there is something going on.

Do you want to go tomorrow or later today? I mean to Long Island first.

Now.
She uttered her eyes on the floor.

You don't need to pack?

No.
She replied curtly.

Alright I'll drop you off myself. And hameeda if there's anything else you should be free with me binti. Or speak to your Ummu. I know you're very brave and strong.

Thank you Abbi.
She interrupted wiping a tear that forcibly slipped down her face.

Go and get ready. Let me know when you're done.

Thank you.

It's okay binti go.

He watched her walk out of the door and he dialled the intercom to summon Ummu.

I'm taking Hameeda home.
He started.

Why? What happened? She needs rest and people by her side.

I know. But don't you think she needed to be alone for a while. She seemed a little bit drawn away.
He spoke concerned

Ummu was silent her mind deep in thoughts.

You don't think it's a good idea right?
Mr Hussam asked his wife.

I know it's not, but she seemed a little bit depressed. I think we should do what she wants. I told her mother I'd take care of her here but I'll Let them youngsters have their time together.
She responded

Just don't make it awkward for her when she's leaving. It's a good thing all the girls are out of the house. And where's Omar?
Abbi asked

He called from the office. Said he will need to go back to Philadelphia if the meeting today didn't work. So I don't think he'll be home soon.

He's so strong-headed. I told him to stay out of the case and be there for his family.
Abbi scuffed.

I'll talk to him. And hameeda should be ready by now.

He followed his wife out and met Hameeda already by the foyer downstairs. The maids put her belongings in the car and both Abbi and Ummu took her home.

Later at night, she searched for the baby's sleeping stuff as she's left everything at the manor. she went into one of the rooms she had planned to make into a nursery but later changed her mind and behold it was the best baby nursery she had ever seen. It was divided into a play area that looks like a living room, the closet and the sleep area. The colour was baby soft, she looked at the little baby cot, a little closet, everything was neat and perfect. She didn't plan anything after ofcourse having the baby but this, what was in front of her, she couldn't have planned better.
She let this gesture melt her heart this time. Yes he was trying to win her through Hisham and he just got her smile.

Her phone beeped after she had selected a pair of new sleeping over-rolls for Hisham.

Umm Hisham, I wanted to be there to welcome you both back home, I hope the baby's room suits  your taste. Send my love to him.
                                                   Omar.

And even though her heart melted, she knew he was using this again to get to her and like a hundred times before, all it did was hurt her later.
She deleted the message and before she switched off her phone, she took a picture of a now dressed Hisham in blue and white  and sent it to a family chat group she shared with the Kofti sisters.

Susan: Ya Rabbi. He looks so beautiful. We miss you both.

Siham: Aww 7abiby. Subhanallah he looks like cake. I want to eat him all.

Reem: I'm telling mom. Don't eat our baby.

Susan: Reem needs to be in bed, and removed from this group.

Hassad: I miss him. I miss his scent and tiny fingers.

Sarrah: Ola senoritas. What am I missing?

Sarrah: Awwn Baby H. *Cries* bring him back to me.... *Cries more*

Siham: Just showed it to Abbi and Ummu. Believe me Ummu started crying *laughs* we miss him too. Let's go and kidnap him.

Hameeda watched with a smile as she read all their chats. And Omar who sat behind a desk in a hotel at Philadelphia watched as his phone beeped multiple times. He scrolled and swiped over the chats of the once inactive group which he had never acknowledged nor responded to and His eyes stopped when he reached the top of the chat as it fell on the picture.

Wa ma khalaqnal insaana fiy ahsani taqweem.

He sighed as his eyes welled up.
It was the overwhelming feeling and the gush of new emotion that surrounded him. He put what he was doing on hold and obliviously ran his fingers slowly on the screen. Seconds later he couldn't hold it in so he dialled her number and after the first few unpicked rings, the owner switched off her phone.

I was busy sleeping through the holidays and I checked my calendar and  saw the last update was a long time ago. Wallah It felt like two days ago.
Sorry *covers face*.
Okay I lied a little. I was watching THE BLACKLIST and I couldn't lift my face off the screen. It's okay I'm nearly done with it now.
Don't forget to click the Star 🌟.
17.2.17