It's been five years since we've talked.

I write this letter to confess something. The purpose isn't to dig up and romanticize the past or even to rekindle a dying fire. The purpose is for me to have courage in telling you my secret.

I loved you.

Usually in love letters, the writer states physical traits like how your dark brown eyes stole my attention or your dirty blonde hair bounced as you ran to the bus stop.

Instead, I'll tell you the moments you grew closer to my heart.

You'd ask to hang out. I smiled and thanked the Lord that you asked.

Remember in the winter time when your hair froze because you didn't have time to dry it? You loved sleeping in. You despised the seven-a.m. school schedule. I did too.

Remember the time you'd come over and play "popcorn" on the big trampoline with J and me?

You'd grab onto your legs and become a little ball. J and I jumped to see how high in the air we could get you.

Sometimes, we jumped too hard and that caused you to giggle.

I laughed because you laughed.

Remember when I invited you over to go swimming?

You named the filtration system, Mr. Sucky.

Oh, how original and innocent we were!

You swam near the wall and got too close.

You'd get a red hickey on your stomach.

All those memories, I hold dear in my mind. I want to cherish those moments because joyful memories tend to float away easily.

Remember when we no longer had school buses for high school? It was our freshmen year. My mother drove us to school and back because your mom and step-dad worked.

You made new friends. I became a music freak. The only thing that connected us was the drive.

We stopped talking.

I started watching.

The boy who lived across the street on the corner. I looked out my three bedroom windows to see if I could catch a glance of you. You mowed the lawn, played fetch with your three dogs, and placed fishing rods into your step-father's boat.

Silly and innocent those small exchanges were.

It's a childish desire to see something special in hopes to strengthen our connection.

However, if I had gotten closer then you'd have seen my flaws. My insecurities. You could inflict pain -- intentionally or not.

Therefore, I kept quiet.

When you switched schools because there were no more funds.

When your step-dad and mom were no longer together.

When you'd prefer to visit my mom than me.

I'll remember for the both of us: the friendship and the good memories.

I'll tell you again. This letter isn't to rekindle something that wasn't there to begin with. Instead, this is for me to let go.

I'm letting go of the fantasy of you.

Word Count: 478

Author's Note: I recently watched To All The Boys I've Loved Before on Netflix. I was emotionally moved. I saw this contest and I didn't think I could write this story.

This was difficult. I haven't had a crush/love in a long time. With Beth's character, I revealed something within my heart that I've pushed down. Halfway through writing this story, when Beth states, "However, if I had gotten closer then you'd see my flaws. My insecurities. You could inflict pain -- intentionally or not."

That torn me apart. It was simple and yet, Beth's character went to the heart of this letter.

I hope this story gives hope when there's sadness and joy.

Thank you for reading this letter!

Love

~ Fallon Elizabeth ~

xoxo 😘

P. S. Shoutout to my bestest friends, S.J. McIntosh WishingOnDreams and Holly ( ladyb913 ) ! They read my first drafts, gave me pointers and criticism, and overall encouragers. Thank you, dears! <3 Thank you for helping me!!