( FOURTEEN : LULLABIES )

ANOTHER COUPLE OF HOURS went by before any of them dared to peek outside the cave and by that point, Elissa couldn't stop fidgeting; the feeling of being cooped up in such a small space becoming more unbearable the longer they say there.

    She couldn't wait to get out of this little hell-hole.

    But the deathly, still silence outside the cave reminded her that it still wasn't safe to go outside.

    So they stayed.

    And they waited.

    It was clear that she wasn't the only one impatient to get out of there. Charlotte continuously shifted in her spot at the back of the cave and Bellamy appeared to be the only one even remotely relaxed with arms folded across his chest, hands tucked under his biceps, head resting on the cool rock behind him.

    However, one thing they all held in common was how intently they were all listening, ears straining, trying to hear any sign that the danger had finally passed.

    With a sigh, Elissa once again ran her fingers over the same rough uneven patch of ground—for what must have been the thousandth time—feeling for any pebbles she could add to the ever-growing pile at her side. The repetitive motion was soothing, keeping her mind focused on the task, distracting her from the never ending situation that she found herself stuck in.

    You should have stayed at the dropship...if you had, you wouldn't be stuck in a cave next to one of the most confusing guys you've ever met.

    The warm shoulder at her side reminded her that said confusing guy was still sitting patiently at her side, not seemingly bothered by the mind numbing boredom. Or her fidgeting. Or anything at all really.

    Bellamy confused her. It was as simple as that. Pretty much from the moment they had landed he'd been abrasive and antagonistic, going out of his way to put himself in charge of the rowdy group of delinquents he'd landed with and making sure that everyone knew that fact. And anyone who argued with that fact would answer to him.

    But he'd now saved her ass on more than one occasion. He'd stopped her from falling to her death; stopped Murphy from beating the daylights out of her to her wristband. And now...he'd done everything he could to help her with her panic attack.

    He even held your hands, for fuck's sake.

    Frowning, she placed a new round pebble at the top of her pile, only to watch with disinterest as it rolled off, clattering onto the cave floor.

    And he called you Elissa...

    Everything he'd done around her was a clear contradiction to the facade he presented to everyone else. She didn't know what to make of his seemingly split personality. And thinking about it was going to give her a headache.

    After comforting Charlotte from her nightmare, Bellamy had returned to her side, placing himself once again between her and the exit, his arm pressing against her own, and he'd been snoozing ever since.

    At some point the waiting would have to end.

    When the first sound of a bird twittering echoed from outside the cave, all three of their heads snapped up to look toward the entrance. Bellamy and Elissa exchanged a brief questioning look before turning to study the dimly lit gap in the rocks warily.

    "You think...?" Elissa asked, feeling marginally hopeful, trailing off at the obvious question.

    Bellamy shrugged in response, giving her an 'how should I know' look before pushing himself up into a crouch. "Only one way to find out." Before she could even breathe a word of protest, he'd ducked out of the entrance and into the bright light beyond.

    "The idiot didn't even check..." she grumbled to herself, but leaned forward, listening intently for any sign of distress, any sign that he'd been wrong. But the outside was silent and she couldn't hear anything past the suddenly nervous flutter of her own heartbeat.

    Come on, come on. Where are you?

    After a pause, Bellamy's head suddenly popped in the cave, looking fine. "It's good," he said, eyeing her expression before smirking, looking mildly amused. "No need to look so worried, Bardot," he said, and ducked out of the cave again before she could reply.

    The abrupt switch back to her last name gave her pause, and she felt surprised by the way her heart dropped at the change. Why would he call you Elissa? It's not like you're even friends, she told herself, shaking her head to rid herself of the unexpected feeling.

    "Arrogant, smug asshole..." She grumbled under her breath, rolling her eyes, although the words lacked their usual heat. Pushing herself up, she glanced back to make sure Charlotte was following, then promptly ducked out into the daylight.

    Blinking repeatedly to let her eyes adjust to the abrupt change in light—she breathed in deeply—relieved at the feeling of cool, fresh air brushing across her face. Taking a step out of the way to give Charlotte enough space to crawl out, she glanced at the gap in the rocks, unable to hold back the shudder that moved through her.

    "Let's never do that again," Elissa stated to no one in particular, but Charlotte gave an enthusiastic nod in response, looking just as relieved to be outside the cave as Elissa felt.

    Stepping forward, she came to stop beside Bellamy, glancing around the forest in front of them—looking for any sign that something was out of place. Although she didn't know what she was looking for exactly—there was no sign the fog had ever been there in the first place. Everything appeared to be oddly normal. The way it had been before they knew that the poisonous fog even existed.

    Why would things be different? It's just fog.

    While there was no sign of fog, there was also no sign of the rest of the hunting party either.

    No sign of Atom.

    Elissa swallowed hard when she noted that even the screams they'd heard while running had gone quiet. Everything was silent and still in the forest, save for the occasional bird that would twitter overhead.

    He was right behind you.

    "Let's head back to the dropship," Bellamy said, eyes hard—worried—as he looked out into the trees.

    Elissa shook her head, looking up at him. "We should look around and meet up with the others to find Atom. He-he can't be far," she said, dragging her teeth over her bottom lip as worry flowed through her veins. "He was right behind me. He couldn't have run far."

    Bellamy hesitated for a second before nodding. "Right. We can retrace our steps, keep an eye out for him and any of the others."

    As he took the first step, Elissa turned to look at Charlotte, who was gazing out into the forest with apprehension. Offering her a hand, the young girl was quick to grasp it—holding on to it tightly—looking nervously out into the awaiting treeline.

    "Ready to go?" Elissa asked.

    Charlotte nodded slowly in response. "Yeah..." She hesitated. "Do you think the fog is gone forever?"

    "I sure hope so." Elissa gave her hand a small squeeze and a half uncertain, half reassuring smile, before looking around. "I sure as hell hope so," she muttered to herself.

    As they walked, there was a distinct nervousness that hung over them, causing them to jump at different sounds, to startle when someone broke a branch under their foot. Elissa didn't know if it came from wariness that the yellow fog would reappear at any moment and they weren't anywhere close to safety—or if it was because as they retraced their footsteps, there was no sign of any of the others.

    They must have made it to safety.

    They had to of.

    Her wide eyes darted from the ground to the trees and back again, looking for any clues as to where the others might've gone.

    When her gaze landed on a patch of leaves that had been strewn about, revealing the moist soil underneath she paused. Wait. There.

    Charlotte followed her lead, halting next to her and giving her a puzzled look, but Elissa was too busy gazing around, looking for any sign of the other boy.

    "Wait," she called to Bellamy, who was still moving steadily ahead. When he turned and saw that they'd stopped, he made his way back to the them and gave Elissa a questioning look.

    She motioned to the ground with one hand. "This...I think this is where I ran into Atom." Letting go of Charlotte's hand, she took a few steps back in the direction of the cave, looking for any evidence of when they'd split up. "He was still with us here," she mumbled as she drifted around, her eyes never stopped moving, jumping from patch to patch of ground.

    Charlotte was quick to follow suit, trailing in a slightly different direction to look around.

    Elissa missed the slightly impressed look that Bellamy had given her, before he sighed, took a lungful of air in and cupped his hands around his mouth.

    "ATOM!" He suddenly called out, and Elissa whirled back toward him in fright, clutching at her chest, heart jumping into her throat at the unexpectedness of it.

    She shot him a dirty look. "A little warning would've been nice," she groused at him.

    When he caught her eye, he shrugged in response and called out again. "ATOM!"

    This time, there was an immediate reply. "BELLAMY!" Someone called out and they all turned toward the voice. Although Elissa knew it wasn't Atom, relief washed through her that some of the others were okay.

    Jones and a couple others crashed through the bushes, coming down the hill toward them. Despite looking dirty and exhausted, the three of them appeared unharmed.

    "Jones," Bellamy said, sounding relieved. "Lost you guys in the stew. Where'd you end up?"

    Jones motioned back the way they'd come. "We managed to find a cave up that way — holed up in there until that stuff cleared off. Heard you guys call out and came looking."

    "What the hell was that stuff?"

    Jones shook his head. "No idea, but it's nothing good."

    They're wasting time.

    "Look," Elissa interrupted them, "can we talk about what it was when we get back to the dropship? Atom's still missing. So, could we please stop chatting and start looking?" She asked them pointedly.

    "No one was talking to you, Bardot." Jones instantly shot back at her and she had to resist the urge to roll her eyes.

    "And I never said that I was talking to you," she pointed calmly before turning to Bellamy. "Are you gonna help, or not?"

    Bellamy nodded and turned toward Jones and the others, "All right, spread out and look for Atom. We saw him som—"

    A shrill scream cut him off. As one, they all turned toward it, and almost at the same time, Elissa realized that Charlotte was once again nowhere to be seen.

    "Dammit."

    Without a single word to the others, Elissa took off at a full sprint in the direction the scream had come from.

    Damn that girl. She doesn't know when to stay close by. I swear she has a death wish.

    The moment she stepped into the clearing, slowing to a stop near Charlotte, her gut twisted as if she'd been punched by the sight before her.

    Whatever she'd been expecting to find—it hadn't been this.

    The young girl stood only a yard away from a downed Atom, staring at him in shock, eyes wide as she cried.

    Elissa couldn't blame her, she wanted to do the same.

    Her brain automatically brought up a memory from long ago, one she'd all but forgotten. She could still smell skin burning, and she shuddered as her mind conjured up the images of an elderly man. She and Jupiter had been following him all day, their curious eyes following skilled hands as he pieced things together. Things had happened so fast—his hand had accidentally caught a welding rod. She remembered his gasp of pain, the skin red and raw, blistering and peeling away as he cradled it. The scars had been horrific, even after Clarke's mom treated it.

    But this was so much worse than that.

    Every inch of his skin—that she could see—was covered in red, blistering welts. In many places, the skin was split and weeping, clear yellow fluid slipping through the deep cracks of his skin. His eyes were open, although unblinking, his previously brown eyes were now covered in a milky white film. He wasn't moving. She couldn't even tell if he was breathing.

    He looked dead.

    It was only when Charlotte gave another whimper that he twitched, his head turning slowly toward the sound. Elissa inhaled sharply.

    Oh, my God. He's still alive.

    Elissa didn't know if she should be relieved or horrified at the revelation. This wasn't like Jasper, whose injuries—while life threatening—had been straightforward. Here there was nothing they could do—no bandage or ointments they could apply, no medication they could give him to sooth his pain.

    She felt sick.

    But we need to do something. We can't just leave him like this.

    As Bellamy and the others arrived beside her, she swallowed the bile that had risen up in her throat, and took a reluctant step forward, reaching out and gently pulling Charlotte away from Atom, grabbing her by the shoulders and turned her away from the horrendous sight.

    "Don't look." Elissa's voice cracked she she nudged the young girl to move away.

    "But..." Charlotte whimpered, staring up at her, eyes wide.

    "Charlotte," Elissa cut her off, voice weary. "Please."

    When Elissa finally got a nod in response, she stepped toward the fallen boy and slowly lowered herself to kneel down beside him. Her hands shook as they fluttered over him, not touching him, not even remotely knowing how to begin helping him.

    She didn't know what to do. She was useless.

    No, there is one thing you can do.

    "Oh, Atom..." she breathed and being mindful of his injuries, reached down and grasped his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. She knew she'd made the right choice when his fingers slowly closed tightly around her own.

    You can make sure that he's not alone. That's going to have to be enough.

    "Son of a bitch. Atom," Bellamy said as he knelt down on his other side, looking down at Atom as hopelessly as she felt. At the sound of his voice, Atom let out a pained moan and turned his head toward Bellamy, but it was clear from the way his eyes flickered around that he couldn't see him.

    "Be...Be..." Atom panted, his chest rose and fell rapidly, each gasp for breath ragged and shallow and sounded like he was gurgling through water. Reaching out blindly, he grasped at Bellamy's sleeve, clenching the material tightly in his fist when he made contact.

    Bellamy swallowed hard. "Hey, man. I'm here." He hesitantly reached out and lightly placed his hand over Atom's, looking uncertain, wary that he might be causing more pain. Atom didn't react at all, saved grasping Bellamy's jacket and pulling him closer. Bellamy was quick to oblige, leaning forward and bringing his ear close to Atom's mouth.

    Atom took a few shuddered breaths before choking out: "Kill me. Kill...me."

    All the air seemed to escape her lungs in a rush as she leaned back heavily on her heels, staring down at the boy in shock. She tried to ignore the chill which rushed through her bones, the hairs on her arms standing on end.

    Atom was asking—no, pleading—for Bellamy to end his life.

    End his suffering.

    Eyes flickered up from Atom, they landed on the man who Atom just asked to kill him. Bellamy was staring unblinkingly down at Atom, jaw dropped—and for the first time since Elissa had met him—he looked uncertain at the choice he had to make.

    She couldn't blame him. Being asked by someone to end their life—to become a murderer—even to help them, even to end their pain was a difficult thing to process.

    Would he—could he—do it?

    Atom choked, his chest moved rapidly with every breath, each one a ragged tortured noise that left no doubt in her mind that he was in undeniable pain. And then his body seized, his eyes rolled back into his head, his entire body trembling.

    Elissa felt her eyes well up, grasping his hand with both her own as she stared down at him, her shoulders tense and wondered which gasp for breath would be his last. If he would die in front of them before Bellamy had even had time to think things through. When the spasms subsided, she let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

    "Please..." Atom choked out, grasping at Bellamy's sleeve once more. "I...can't...breathe..."

    Those words were all it took for Bellamy's uncertainty to waver and fade. He blinked, expression hardening. He looked over his shoulder at Jones, Charlotte and the rest of the group, their faces a mixture of worry and uncertainty as they looked on, he nodded. "Go back to camp," he ordered, voice firm.

    Jones hesitated, glancing down at Atom before nodding reluctantly and turned to the rest of the group. "Let's go." He said, ushering them away. When they began to move away, he shot them one final look over his shoulder, looking almost sad. Then they were gone.

    All except for Charlotte.

    The young girl was rooted to her spot, eyes wide as she stared down at Atom, her expression one that Elissa couldn't quite place, but a swirl of unease rolled through her.

    "Charlotte," Elissa said softly, and Charlotte's gaze snapped to her, "go back with the rest of them."

    Charlotte hesitated only a second, before nodding, but instead of turning and leaving like Elissa expected her to, she took a few shuffling steps forward. Her gaze flickered from Elissa, to Atom, to Bellamy. Coming to stop next to Bellamy, she blinked down at his kneeling form before she reached into her jacket pocket and drew out a small blade.

    Elissa frowned, surprised when she held out the blade to Bellamy, noting his lack of surprise at the sight of Charlotte holding a weapon. Annoyance flared through Elissa, when she recognized it as the one she'd seen Bellamy with earlier. When had he given her the knife?

    Now's not the time. You can deal with that later.

    Bellamy tentatively reached out and took the blade from Charlotte's outstretched hand, meeting her gaze with an uncertain look.

    "Don't be afraid," Charlotte said, her words sounding much older than they should for a twelve year old girl. Elissa frowned as she watched her, wondering who exactly she was talking to.

    Then she turned away and was gone.

    Bellamy turned to Elissa, carefully void of expression, but a flicker of something crossed his face, showing her that he was fighting back what he was truly feeling. "You should go with them."

    She shook her head, looking down at Atom. "I'm staying," she told him softly.

    He tried again. "Elissa—" he began, but her eyes snapped up to meet his, her expression serious and unwavering in her choice.

    "I'm staying," she repeated firmly, hoping that her voice conveyed her determination to remain behind.

    I'm staying for him. I'm staying for you. No one should have to go through this alone.

    Neither of you.

    His eyes darted across her face searching for something before he finally gave a hesitant nod. His expression momentarily gave away to something thankful, some type of relief at the fact that he wouldn't have to do this on his own.

    I wouldn't let you or anyone else do this by themselves. It's never easy to take a life, she thought, thinking back to the time when blood had covered her own hands. She'd made her own choice then.

    Bellamy's gaze dropped back down to Atom, and he held the blade tightly in his grasp, slowly raising the blade toward Atom's throat. When it was only inches away from his skin, Elissa held her breath, gripping Atom's hand tightly in her own.

    But then Bellamy's steady hand shook, hesitation settling over his face and he slowly dropped his hand onto his lap. He leaned back and closed his eyes, took a shaky breath. When he opened his eyes and briefly met her own, she shot him a sympathetic and understanding look, but he was quick to pull his gaze away.

    It was clear as day, Bellamy Blake wasn't a murderer.

    It shouldn't be easy to take a life. It should be difficult.

    When Atom let out a strangled cry, they both flinched. Elissa felt her heart sink as she stared down at him.

    What are you gonna do now? Will you be brave enough to take up the blade and do what needs to be done? Willing to get your hands dirty just one more time?

    Before she could really begin contemplating her options—if she even had any—the crack of a branch caught both her and Bellamy's attention. Their heads snapped up to face the sound, only to find Clarke bushing past some branches as she stepped into the clearing, eyeing them both warily, before her gaze landed on Atom.

    "Clarke," Elissa breathed in relief. You coward.

    "I heard screaming," Clarke said, explaining how she managed to find them.

    "Can you help him?" Elissa hurried to explain, "You...your mom..." she trailed off as Clarke came closer, and she shuffled over, giving Clarke enough space to kneel down next to them. She kept a tight grip on Atom's hand, unwilling to give up the only piece of comfort she could offer him.

    Any other words died in her throat when Atom seemed to notice the movement of Clarke sitting down and rolled his head to face her.

    "Kill...me...plea...se..." he moaned, staring up at her, a tear trailing down from the corner of his eye.

    Clarke was quiet a moment, but Elissa instantly knew that there was nothing the blonde girl could do. Deep down, she'd always known, but she had to hope that something could be done to help him. Her feeling was only confirmed when Clarke glanced up at her and Bellamy and shook her head slightly. Then she returned her attention to the injured boy, a soft, comforting look on her face.

    "Hey," Clarke said softly, gently pushing back the hair from his forehead, just how she supposed a mother would do for their sick child. "I'm going to help you, okay? Just relax...shh, there you go."

    Then she began to hum.

    The pleasant sound filled the area around them, Elissa found the tune oddly soothing—a sound from a distant memory. Something faint, in the back of her mind.

    When Clarke's other hand slowly reached out for the blade Bellamy held limply in his hand, her heart lurched in her chest. Bellamy could only seem to watch her numbly, handing the blade over with ease.

    She's going to do it...

    Elissa continued to rub soothing circles in the palm of Atom's hand, though her eyes couldn't be pulled away from Clarke and the blade.

    It was only when the blade first pierced the soft skin of his neck that she felt her breath catch in her throat. The blade easily sank fully into the tender flesh of his neck. As his hand clenched tightly around her own, she gripped it back with everything she could—offering the only comfort she could.

    You'll be okay, you'll be okay.

    Clarke continued to hum as she pulled the blade out. Blood—hot and crimson—gushed out over the blade.

    Atom coughed and spluttered, eyes wide, his lips staining red as his life drained out from him and onto the forest floor below.

    It's okay, you're okay. Don't be scared, you're not alone.

    Then Atom gave one final gasp for air—final gasp for life.

    Everything went still, even the air seemed to stop whirling.

    The pained expression on his face slowly eased, the tension around his eyes faded away. His blind eyes continued to stare up through the trees to the blue sky above. His clenched hand relaxed in her own.

    Elissa let her eyes slide shut and tilted her head back, feeling the burn of tears pinch the back of her eyes and tried to will them away, but she couldn't stop the few that escaped and slid down the side of her face. Opening her eyes to stare up at the brilliant blue above them, she hoped that wherever Atom was now, he was finally at peace.

    May we meet again.

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

not edited