With my hands shaking, I reread Seungmin's letter.

"'I'll wait for you,'" I read aloud, my voice cracking. I blink my eyes rapidly, trying to wish the tears away. How could he say that? I don't understand how he could be bipolar like this.

One minute he's telling me he never loved me, and the next, he's telling me that he'll never love someone else? This doesn't make sense to me. 

Sniffling, I grab my phone and call his number, putting it on speaker and placing it on my bed. It rings and rings, but Seungmin never picks up. Sighing, I go to hang up when I get an idea. Maybe Hyunjin will know what Seungmin was thinking.

I decide to send him a text asking him where he was. After a few moments, we make plans to meet the coffeehouse Seungmin and I went to on our first date. This way, I'll get some insight into what Seungmin was thinking.

As I walk through the cafe's doors, Hyunjin waves at me, pointing at the seat he saved for me. Smiling softly at him, I sit down and grasp my hands tightly, trying to hide how badly I'm shaking.

I'm scared to ask Hyunjin my questions, but he just smiles at me, waiting patiently. He doesn't pressure me to talk; Hyunjin just sits, waiting until I'm comfortable enough to say something.

"Hyunjin?" "Hmm?" 

"Did Seungmin really love me?"

Hyunjin looks up at me, eyebrows raised. 

"Yes. Definitely. It was like the kdrama kind of love, except that type of love doesn't exist in real life." Hyunjin pauses, thinking. "But to Seungmin, you are his whole world. I really have never seen him so..."

Hyunjin furrowes his eyebrows, searching for the right word.

"I've never seen him so happy."

Sighing, I rub my eyes gently and place my hand on my forehead. It's a little too much. The letter, Seungmin dumping me, what Hyunjin is saying. It's all too much.

Hyunjin tilts his head and tugs at my sleeve.

"Hey," he says softly, trying to get me to look at him. "You know, you don't have to forgive him yet. It's okay to be conflicted. He said he won't be back until later, right? So don't stress about it right now. Live your life, and when he comes back, make your decision. It's all up to you. It's your choice."

I look up at Hyunjin and make eye contact with him. His brown eyes are soft, clearly displaying his genuine concern for me. When my eyes start to fill with tears, he closes his eyes briefly. Scooting closer, he pulls me into a tight hug, pushing my head to rest on his shoulder. 

Hyunjin rubs my back gently, humming lightly and letting me cry on his shoulder. I ignore the small amount of customers and let myself go. I have to mourn my past relationship. Maybe there will be a future for me and Seungmin. But for right now?

He's across the country and I've got to live my life, the way Hyunjin said. Because if I don't live my life, who will?

*** Two Years Later ***

I wish I was beside you, under the same sky. Sitting here, under the branches of the trees you introduced me to, I miss you. I can't feel your love anymore. Maybe it's nostalgia, call it wishful thinking, but I think you'll come back to me.

"Baby~" I hear before feeling a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I smile and lean into your chest, feeling your heartbeat against my back. "What are you writing?"

I hand him my notebook, tilting my head as I turn in his arms.

"What do you think, Felix?"

He scrunches his nose thoughtfully as he reads the paragraph I have written. When he finishes, he looks up at me and rubs his nose against mine.

"You might be the definition of talent. You write so well." I smile as Felix presses a sweet kiss to my lips. He hums into the kiss and pulls away, pecking my forehead.

"Sunshine?" he says, leaning his forehead into mine. I raise my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. "You know I love cherry blossoms, but why do we come here all the time?"

I hesitate for a second, biting my lips softly.

"It's a special place for me. It has a special meaning to me because someone I used to know brought me here. I miss that person, so I'll come here to remind myself that they're happy."

Felix nods and sighs softly, looking around at the blooming flowers.

"I like it," he whispers. "It reminds me of home."

I smile at him, watching Felix as he gazes at the scene around us. He really is ethereal; everything about him is so easy to love. He reminds me of home.

I look up at the cherry blossoms. Felix reminds me of home, but the blossoms remind me of my first love. Is it so wrong that I want to hold onto both?