I wake up, opening my eyes and exhaling deeply. I feel Felix's arms around my waist tighten and he groans lightly, pulling me even closer to his chest. He nuzzles my neck and I smile, still half-asleep.

Felix hums quietly, blinking slowly. I can feel his eyelashes brush against the back of my neck, sending little tingles down my spine. Sighing, I turn in his arms, fighting to keep my eyes open as I look at him. 

He looks at me from half closed eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips. Scooting even closer, Felix presses a small kiss to the top of my forehead, then brings his fingertips to my eyes. He gently brushes them across my eyelids, closing them.

"Sleep," he murmurs, throwing one of his legs across mine as he engulfs me. I listen to him, and I'm brought into dreamland, visiting one of my most frequent dreams.

(the dream is italicized)

I'm walking down the cherry blossom path, admiring the clear blue sky contrasting with the pale pink of the flowers. I can practically feel the spring wind through my hair; there's people all around me enjoying the scenery. 

I'm too enraptured by the nature around me that I don't pay attention to where I'm going. Soon enough, I bump into someone and fall to the ground. Wincing, I close my eyes briefly and force myself up, brushing off my butt and knees. I apologize to the person in front of me multiple times before looking them in the eye.

My eyes widen and I stare at the person I ran into. Kim Seungmin.

He blinks at me before giving me a small smile. 

"Hi," he says quietly, lifting his hand in the air. "Hi," I reply, almost in a whisper. Why does this feel so sacred?

We stare at each other, neither of us saying another word. 

"I told you, didn't I?" Seungmin looks at me expectantly, biting the inside of his cheek. "I told you I'd come back." Nodding, I look back at him. His brown eyes are wide open and sparkling in the lighting. I don't want to say what I'm about to.

"Seungmin, I-" He cuts me off and walks closer to me, placing one hand on my shoulder and the other on my waist, dropping a small kiss onto the top of my head. 

"I'm sorry about what I did, all those years ago. Forgive me? Please?" Looking up at him, I almost do. I had forgotten how I couldn't resist his puppy dog eyes.

I'm about to agree when I realize he doesn't have any freckles. Not a single one. Not like Felix's. Shaking my head, I pull out of Seungmin's embrace.

"Seungmin, I'm with someone else." I watch as Seungmin's face falls. He takes a step back, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Someone else?" He asks quietly, not making eye contact with me. I nod gently, my heart squeezing at how hurt he looks. Seungmin nods and takes another step back.

"Hope you're happy," he whispers. Before I can say anything else, Seungmin turns and walks away quickly. I try to go after him, but my feet feel frozen. It always ends like this.

I'm woken up by a gentle tapping on my nose. Opening my eyes slowly, I see Felix smiling not five inches from my face. He's hovering over me, careful not to put too much weight on me. His eyes are sparkling and I feel a sudden need to tell him how much I care for him.

"Lix?" 

"Yeah," he says, scrunching his face up.

"God couldn't keep all the stars in your eyes," I say, lifting a finger and tracing the outline of his cheekbone. "So he put the rest on your face."

I watch as Felix's face starts to turn red, and he hides into the space between my neck and shoulder.

"Yah," he whines, laughing softly. "I'm supposed to be the romantic one." Laughing, I close my eyes as he kisses my neck gently.

Against my neck, he whispered that he loved me. Opening my eyes, I go to say it back when I realize I can't. I had never been so grateful for his shyness before now, so he didn't have to see my face when I realized I didn't love him.

I don't love Felix. Not the way he loves me, and not the way I still love Seungmin.