I can't believe my luck.

Chop chop chop

I found the best tuna in the whole wide world! Can you believe that? Probably not. There's so many disbelievers in this universe spouting nonsense such as to see is to believe. Bleh. Too bad for them they won't be tasting what I have for dinner tonight.

Chop chop chop

Ah I feel like dancing! My soul rejoices! So wonderful. So satisfying. So amazing!

Wait a minute … is the water boiling already?

Oh great! It is. But I think I've changed my mind. Perhaps grilling it will be better. Oh no no … I don't know which way to go.

Damn it! I should have asked her which recipe she preferred for her fat, shiny, green tail before I plunged my ninety-five thousand nine hundred and ninety two-dollar Nesmuk Jahrhundertmesser knife into her belly. Silly girl was on a rock singing her heart out to an unconscious prince. Something about being part of his world. Like … who does that?

But anyway, I waited patiently for her song to finish before I threw that massive net. Lucky catch I might say!

So now the upper part of her body lay useless on my kitchen floor giving me so much work to do after cooking. I have to go to the grocery and buy some bleach. Her blood pools around my feet, staining my white tiles with red. Come to think of it, it looks beautiful. Perhaps I should change the color of my tiles?

Ah, I'm getting distracted again. I should finish cutting up this beauty. All the trouble of setting up a trap was absolutely worth it. I’ve been craving for fish for the past few days and voila! -- here comes a redhead fish surfacing to land to rescue a moronic prince. Too bad for them, the happily ever after is for me. My dinner will be absolutely delicious! I just can't wait to sink my teeth into this first-class fish meat.

I’m feeling really giddy. I should better hurry and decide what to do. Perhaps I'll make a quarter to a soup, grill a quarter, and serve half in my newly established restaurant. The customers will go crazy! It'll probably be a new hit in town. And if they ask for more? They would probably ask for more, right? Then, I should probably lay more traps.