××𝙎𝙚𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝙋𝙊𝙑××

"Seungmin!"

I heard someone shout my name, snapping me out of thought.

"So?"

The voice asked.

"Hm?"

I looked up at them confused and with a sorry look because I could tell from their tone that they were slightly disappointed by my lack of attention toward them.

"Sorry, I just-"

I spoke fast, trying to apologize for my behavior.

"It's fine Seungmin. I was just asking if you'd like to come with me to my friend's party. It's his birthday and I wanted you to meet my other friends. I know it's not exactly your thing but, I thought it'd be a good way to interact with people again. Not many people will be there, just us and maybe four other people plus my friend that the gathering will be at."

Hyunjin spoke slowly and softly for me to understand. I nodded slowly as he spoke.

"Well... Sure, since there won't be many people, I'll go with you."

Hyunjin smiled and slowly hugged me as a thanks.

"Thank you, Minnie, I thought you were going to say no."

He pulled away from me slowly and gave me a bright smile.

"Mr. Trisey said I should start interacting with people again and to start small so, maybe your friend's gather should be a good place to start."

I patted his shoulder.

"I think you'll have fun, I'll text you when and where, okay?"

I nodded and Hyunjin left. I sat back down on my couch, proud of myself, I'm slowly making progress, I didn't flinch when Hyunjin hugged me, so, I hope I can make it through his friend's party too.

~Time Skip: 4 days~

I got out of my car nervously, and stood there staring at the house.

"Should I go in?"

I asked myself while fidgeting with my keys.

I felt a hand on my shoulder which made me scream at the top of my lungs, as I backed away I tripped on my own shoe and fall back, I scrambled to get up before I heard a soft voice.

"Are you okay? I didn't meant to scare you."

The unfamiliar voice spoke, I looked up still shaken and embarrassed by the situation.

"Uhm, Yeah I-"

I was interrupted by a worried Hyunjin that rushed out of the house and toward me.

"Minnie! Are you okay? What happened?"

He looked at me with fear and worry, checking to see if I was okay, He turned to the unfamiliar boy.

"Lix, this is the friend I told you about, Seungmin."

Hyunjin's words must've meant something to the other boy because he immediately apologized, I guess they've discussed me before, I stood up, slightly embarrassed.

"Sorry, If I had known who you were, I wouldn't have touched your shoulder, I was just checking to see if you were okay, you were standing there kind of out of it."

The boy Hyunjin referred to as "Lix" explained his reasons for touching my shoulder.

"No, It's okay, it happens sometimes, I get startled a little to easily."

I shook my head as he explained,

"Well, uhm, should we all go in?"

The boy motioned for me and Hyunjin to go to the door, Hyunjin reassured me that everything would be okay and walked next to me as we went in. I felt my nerves going crazy, sweat taking over my hands, I felt my face getting hot, I hadn't been around many people In a long time, this was just an experiment, an assignment given to me by my therapist in order to help me heal and be myself again.

It's been two years since my accident, and I still can't get over it. I can't be touched without having a panic attack, I can't be hugged without flinching, I can't be spoken to without shaking, I can't sleep without having nightmares about those two months, I can't go out in public without seeing him... them, I can't leave my house without thinking I'm better off dead, I can't apologize like a normal person without blaming myself for everything and hurting myself over it, I can't have a conversation without thinking the other person is angry and hates me or wants me dead, I can't make a mistake, I can't stop blaming every single thing on myself, I can't be a human without breaking more than I already am.

I sat next to Hyunjin as he talked with his other friends, I felt out of place.

"I don't belong here... who am I kidding? I should leave. Nobody will notice right?"

I thought to myself as I watched Hyunjin having fun with his friends, everyone smiling and laughing and having a good time while I'm here, in the corner, pathetic.

I looked around before finally taking my leave, knowing nobody would notice.

I drove myself to my favorite place, the gardens behind the park. I sat by the lake and watched the geese and ducks swim, the lake was clear and as the sun light hit, it looked like a lake made of pure, liquid gold, I left out a sigh, this is the only time I can feel peace. I sat and listened as the birds chirped, as the water flowed, and as the leaves rustled.

"Hyunjin said you'd be here."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

××𝙎𝙚𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝙋𝙊𝙑××

I heard that voice again, I still jumped and looked behind me.

"Yeah, I'm- known to run away... sorry about that."

I apologized for leaving without telling anyone else.

"It's fine. He knew you wouldn't be able to last long in there, that's why he set that up."

The boy pointed over to a picnic table full of food and books.

"Hyunjin is something. He always knows what to do and how to help."

I admired how helpful and caring Hyunjin is.

"Y'know there is a reason... he wanted to introduce us..."

The boy sat next to me and handed me half a chocolate bar,

"Oh? And what is the reason?"

I asked slightly amused because Hyunjin is thoughtful but also very mischievous... which is why he's my best friend, the one person I can lean on.

"We have something important in common."

"And what is it? We both have brown eyes?"

I joked wanting to keep the mood light.

"We share the same trauma... I went through the same thing you did... Just at a younger age."

my breath stopped for a moment, he... this innocent-looking, pink-haired, freckled boy in front of me, went through the same thing as me?

"Oh-"

That was all I managed to say, still stunned by this fact.

"Yeah, uhm, took me about six years in therapy to be able to interact with people again. He wanted you to know that... you're not alone, what happened to you is more recent so, it hurts more, It happened to me when I was around thirteen."

As he spoke, I started to feel a rush of emotions.

"Though circumstances were different and the things that happened to us were different, we went through the same thing. Being Kidnapped... Beaten... SA'd... it's- not something we can forget easily. I know how it feels and what the trauma afterward is like, how it feels to think you're an outcast unworthy of this world, and Hyunjin wanted you to know that he and I- Felix by the way... are by your side. We're all here for a reason and with a purpose... the things that happened though are unfortunate, happened for a reason and we can't go back and change it, all we can do is change our future, are you going to live in the past and let yourself drown in the pain you felt two years ago or... are you going to let Hyunjin and I help you to become the person you used to be again? This pain follows you everywhere all the time, I know and it's hard to get over but, with some help and guidance from your therapist... you can start to shed the pain of the past slowly, and start living in the present and enjoy life."

Felix- Felix, I smiled internally, he was comforting, he spoke softly, and slowly, and made sure I was comfortable in between words, he made sure not to use trigger words which I guess Hyunjin told him about. Hyunjin is like God and Felix is like an angel sent to help... he- he's here talking and I don't feel fear... for the first time since I was seventeen... I'm not afraid of being close to someone who isn't Hyunjin or my Mom.

He sat a safe distance away from me, but close enough to be able to reach out and pat my knee.

"I know we just met but, I hope we can be good friends."

He gave me a big smile.

"C'mon, I think Hyunjin put ice cream in that cooler."

He stood up and reached his hand out to help me up. I smiled, a new... friend. My heart beat faster, I was happy... happy, I was able to socialize without apologizing for talking because he was the one talking, and making sure I was comfortable. I stood up and Felix and I walked to the bench and sat.

We talked, talked for an hour, not even about anything important, he talked about his sisters and I talked about my sister. The entire time we talked he made sure not to use trigger words which once again Hyunjin must've given him a list or something because he kept using alternative words, which I found funny.

He was talking about baseball, and since he couldn't say the word "baseball bat" he said "wooden club cavemen hit trees with" Every time he needed the word "bat" he said that instead, which made for an interesting conversation.

I'm grateful Hyunjin decided to introduce me to Felix. After a while, Hyunjin did show up to take me home since I can't drive in the dark.

After exchanging goodbyes I got in the car, and we drove off.

"You seem happy."

He spoke with a smile and still looking at the empty road.

"How?"

I asked with an obvious smile.

"You got in the passenger's seat without flinching or crying. And you've been smiling since I picked you up."

My eyes widened as I realized I was in fact in the passenger's seat.

"I- oh."

I just laughed and looked out the window.

"It's good, it's a good sign Minnie. I'm glad you're making progress."

Hyunjin patted my shoulder before turning back to the road.

We sat in a comfortable silence as he drove me home.

I'm making progress. I'M MAKING PROGRESS. I screamed internally and had a big smile on my face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

⚠️TW⚠️A$$ult, if you don't want to read that part, scroll until you see yellow hearts, that'll be the end of the torture

Lucky's (seung-slay) Warning: You may go feral

~~~~~~~~~~

~~Flashback: Seungmin POV~~

"BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!"

Seungmin screamed and cried as he was tied outside by a chain, trying to resist.

"PLEASE, DON'T"

He screamed again pleading with Seojun to let him go.

"You think I'll let you off after what you did? Think again, you need to be taught a tiny lesson. Don't worry, It won't hurt, it'll just... sting."

Seojun pulled out a knife that he had used plenty of times on Seungmin to where he could identify it from a mile away and remember every little detail on it.

"All I did was hug my friend."

Seungmin screamed as the blade scraped his skin.

"All you did? You liar!"

Seojun shouted, forcing the blade to cut through Seungmin's scar-filled pale skin. Seungmin screamed and cried, he felt weak, and this was what he had to deal with every day.

"What were you planning on doing with him? HUH!? ANSWER ME!"

Seojun screamed with another cut from the blade, the mud, and rain was making his cuts hurt worse than they should, Seojun spent five minutes hurting him and screaming at him till Seungmin fainted.

"That's what you get you dirty little whore."

Seojun wiped his knife off on Seungmin's shirt before leaving back inside, leaving the poor boy unconscious & bleeding in the storm.

( No, this isn't the horrible incident that happened but, since I had a hard time writing the one with Han in RUMORS, I wrote an incident with his ex that lead up to the horrible incident to give you an image of how bad his ex already was.)

~~ An Hour Later ~~

"Minnie! Minnie! Minnie wake up!"

Seungmin heard a familiar voice crying, bright lights blinding him, the smell of sanitizer, loud beeping that was driving him insane. He slowly opened his eyes so his head wouldn't hurt more than it already did.

"SeungMinnie! Oh my- thank you God, I'm so glad you're awake."

Hyunjin cried out while holding his hand, he rushed out of the room to get a doctor.

"I'm so glad you're alright MinMin... I thought we lost you, the doctors thought you wouldn't make it."

I.N hugged his friend as tight as he could, before being interrupted by screaming and yelling in the hallway.

"WHERE IS THAT WHORE!? I NEED TO FINISH THE JOB! LITTLE BITCH IS HIDING! COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE- DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME SLUT! FUC- THERE YOU ARE CUNT!"

Seungmin got scared, I.N stood by his bedside trying to reach for the emergency button on the bed's remote as Seojun found Seungmin's room , he tried to rush in before doctors and police men tackled him down before he could lunge at Seungmin but, Seojun had already throw the knife, missing Seungmin but hurting I.N causing him to fall in pain, as the police cuffed Seojun doctors rushed to I.N's aid.

After twenty fearful minutes that felt like forever, Hyunjin and Seungmin received news that the knife had penetrated a vital organ and I.N had passed away on the surgery table.

"Seojun needs to rot in jail."

Hyunjin muttered while staring at the ground, he almost lost a friend and his best friend had just been killed.

"I should've listened to you."

Seungmin stared at the celling Hyunjin was confused.

"Huh?"

"I should've listened to you when you said you had a bad feeling about me dating Seojun... I guess I just had my heart set on him that I was to blinded to see the real him."

Seungmin stared into Hyunjin's eyes with guilt.

"Don't blame yourself... blame the pig that almost killed you."

"How did you find me?"

"I had forgotten to give you muffins my mom made for you so, I drove over there and saw you in your backyard through the wire fence. I called police before Seojun saw me, when they got there he was chasing me with his gun trying to shoot me... they had cuffed him so, I guess he escaped somehow and tracked you down. Don't worry though, I won't let him hurt you again Minnie."

Hyunjin hugged Seungmin, both trying not to cry but, failing to do so.

💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

~~~~~~~End Of Flashback~~~~~~~

Seungmin woke up shaking and screaming.

"MinMin! Are you okay? Did you have another nightmare?!"

Felix rushed to Seungmin from the couch.

"Let me go get Hyunjin!"

He was about to rush out before Seungmin tugged on his shirt and shook his head.

"I- I'm fine... could... could you stay with me?'

Seungmin asked softly and rubbed his eyes, Felix let out a sigh, he found Seungmin adorable like this and he couldn't say no.

"Sure let me just go grab some tea and snacks, that sound good?"

Seungmin nodded with joy.

Once Felix returned the two got situated on Seungmin's bed, they put on a movie and just spent the rest of the night in each others presence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{Time Skip: 5 Years}

{Setting: Baseball game}

~Felix P.O.V~

"Yah!"

I watched Seungmin hit Hyunjin with his hat because Hyunjin made fun of him fangirling.

"I'm sorry, Dad! I'm sorry! Stop hitting me!"

Hyunjin was defenseless against Seungmin, kind of cute watching the two, but the moment I've been waiting for finally arrived.

"Minnie, I'll be right back. Don't kill Hyunjin just yet."

"Fine! Just get me nachos on your way back!"

"Ok!"

I ran away till they were out of my sight and met up with my friend.

"You ready?"

He asked as we snuck onto the field.

"Of course."

He patted my back as I was guided toward the middle of the field. The stadium, for once, went silent, I let out a nervous and shaky breath.

"Hello, I am Felix... today, I asked if I could sing a special song to my special someone. I know it's a bit cheesy, but... I want him to know, I love him, and I'll be by his side... if he stays by mine. And Jinnie... thank you for introducing me to my angel, Seungmin."

I let out another shaky breath before Seungmin's favorite song, "Beautiful Feeling,"

(Lyrics for a cheat ;])

"널 바라보고만 있어도
나도 모르게 미소를
짓고 있는 나를 보면
신기해
하루가 지나갈 수록
널 향한 나의 맘은
더 깊어지고 있어

지금 이 노래가
또 다른 사랑노래
같을 수 있어
Yeah, I know
그래도 난
부르고 싶어
지금 이 느낌을
So baby 들어줘
너를 위해 부를게

너와 같은 하늘아래에
숨쉬는 매 순간이 난

좋아 사랑이란 단어론
충분하지가 않아
이 아름다운 느낌

It's beautiful
It's beautiful
This beautiful feeling
이 아름다운 느낌
It's beautiful
It's beautiful
말로 다 할 수 없어
이 아름다운 느낌

지금 이 노래가
또 다른 사랑노래
같을 수 있어
Yeah, I know
그래도 난
부르고 싶어
지금 이 느낌을
So baby 들어줘
너를 위해 부를게

너와 같은 하늘아래에
숨쉬는 매 순간이 난

좋아 사랑이란 단어론
충분하지가 않아
이 아름다운 느낌

온 몸에 전율이 흘러
너무 기쁘다 못해
눈물이 흘러 ye
[제이/성진] Some people say love
하지만 난 그것보다 더한
뭔가 있는 것 같아 ye
[제이/성진] 안다면 알려줘
[제이/성진] 없다면 지어줘
To this beautiful feeling
이 아름다운 느낌

너와 같은 하늘아래에
숨쉬는 매 순간이

좋아 사랑이란 단어론
충분하지가 않아
이 아름다운 느낌

It's beautiful
It's beautiful
This beautiful feeling
이 아름다운 느낌
It's beautiful
It's beautiful
말로 다 할 수 없어
이 아름다운 느낌"

I froze as I finished singing. Everyone was cheering, which, for me, was unexpected. I looked to our section and saw Seungmin running down with Hyunjin and a few of our friends behind him.

He reached down and ran over to me and jumped on me.

"LIXIE!"

He cried on my shoulder, and I held him closely.

"I love you so much..."

I held him tight before backing up a bit, and finally, getting down on one knee, Seungmin's eyes popped, and he continued crying as I spoke into the microphone.

"Kim Seungmin, for the past five years, you, my love, have been the only reason for me to be able to wake up, the only reason I am able to smile, the only reason I am able to forget my past and focus on my present, there is nobody else I'd want to live with and nobody else I'd want to wake up to next to me every single say, everyday with you is a blessing and I want to feel like this for the rest of my life... Kim Seungmin... Will You Marry Me?"

I pulled out my ring box and opened it to expose a beautiful gold band with green and gold flakes on it.

After over a minute of silence, he closed the box in my hand, I felt my heart break and my eyes sting.

He shook his head.

"No."

He cried and ran off. Our friends, including Hyunjin, stood there shocked.

I collapsed, and I felt weak, heartbroken. Hyunjin helped me get up once it was time for the game to continue, and he took me back home, but... All of his stuff was gone.

The house looked like Seungmin had never been there. I broken down, unable to comprehend why this was happening. Instead of leaving me alone, Hyunjin called our friends to bring his stuff and stayed with me.

He made me food, and he watched movies with me.

Once again, besides Hyunjin, I'm alone.

🎀✴✶🎀✴✶🎀✴✶🎀✴✶🎀

This is the context to the rest of the story!