A few hours pass with no change. Levi had been hoping Gideon would just take them back home but he kept moving north like there was some amount of distance they needed to make for things to be right. Levi didn't have a clue where they were going but he was tired of being dragged along by Gideon. He just wanted to go to sleep.

     And he's itching with nerves again, shaking one leg as he taps out a rhythm on his knee.

     Gideon pulls off the highway into a 24-hour diner and glances at Levi like he wants to say something but he doesn't. Levi almost asks, but he's still pretty pissed about the course of their last conversation and decides against it.

     Inside, the diner's empty. It's late, so that doesn't surprise Levi any. An older woman with bright curly blonde hair and more pink lipstick on her teeth than her lips smiles at them as she pops some gum, and says, "Booth or table, gentlemen?"

     Gideon isn't going to answer so Levi just shrugs his shoulders. "Okay," she says her voice kind of raspy but somehow high-pitched, too. She leads them to a booth near the windows and hands them menus. "I'm Diane. I'll be your waitress for the night. Our specials today are spicy chicken soup, spicy chicken pot pie, spicy chicken avocado salad, anddddddd," she pauses, "lemon cake."

     "Sounds spicy," Gideon says flatly.

     Stifling a laugh, Levi says, "I've got an allergy to spice."

     Gideon smiles, a small thing that Levi just catches. "And I'm on an all sugar no spice diet."

     Diane doesn't miss a beat. "You boys ought to have some respect towards the person serving your food." She points at them with her pen.

     Gideon looks up at her. "Sorry mam. It's been a long night."

     "I can see that," she responds calmly. "You both look like you hitchhiked here from the damn mountains. Ain't it a little late for you two to be out?"

     "We're on the last leg of our trip home," Levi tells her not looking at Gideon.

    "Well, let me start you both off with some coffee. Go head and read through the menu." She skirts off before either of them can respond, coming back a moment later with two mugs and a coffee pot.

     "Did one of you's get sprayed by a skunk?" she asks her tone confused as she looks between them.

     Levi gives her a closed-mouth shake of his head. She shrugs like it doesn't matter anyway and then walks off. He lifts the menu, allowing it to obscure his vision of Gideon and tries to find something appetizing to eat. He doesn't even want to think about why Gideon had stopped at the diner, how he knew he was hungry.

     Gideon says something quietly, and at first Levi isn't sure he's talking to him or to himself. "Hm?" Levi asks dropping the menu slightly so he can look at him.

     Gideon drops his menu, too, settling his gaze on Levi. His eyes are red-rimmed and glassy. "I said, I don't want to fight with you anymore."

     Levi doesn't know what that means. Was he agreeing with him? Were they going to forget everything that had happened and finally move on? "Okay," Levi responds calmly even though he feels the opposite.

     He drops his eyes, repeating back to Levi, "Okay."

     Levi thinks about those two characters from the cancer movie. How stupid they were to think anything could be forever. How stupid he and Gideon were to think they could go on like that forever. Okay is not forever. Forever is not forever. Everything has a shelf life.

     Diane returns. Levi orders a BLT and cheese fries, and Gideon gets a sausage and egg on a roll. Neither of them touch the coffee. Neither of them say anything. Levi's mom texts and asks if he's coming home or sleeping at Gideon's so he texts her back and tells her Gideon's, unsure if that's even true.

     They eat their food in silence. Sip their coffees in silence. Pay in silence. Count out a tip in silence. Then leave in silence.

     Just when Levi thinks they're going to end this trip, in silence, Gideon turns to him and says, "I need to take a nap before we head back."

     He nods. Gideon climbs into the cab but he doesn't join him, knowing if he did he'd fall asleep too, and they'd fall back into their same patterns, exchanging body heat and bated breaths. Nope. Couldn't have that. Levi climbs into the back of his truck, leaning against the outside of the cab.

     There's a small window there and he looks inside to see Gideon lying down on the seat, his jacket bundled up as a pillow. He'll probably be asleep for an hour. Levi knocks on the window and Gideon sits up hesitantly, turning to look at him. He gestures for Gideon to open the window. He does. "Can I have a cigarette?"

     Nodding, wordlessly, he looks around the truck before he finds the pack and hands it over. "Thanks." They stare at each other and there is so much Levi wants to say but none of it works. He tries, "Get some sleep." It's wrong, too.

     "I only need fifteen minutes or so," Gideon responds but Levi doesn't believe him and isn't going to wake him in fifteen minutes. He lies back down, so Levi lights a cigarette, leaning back so he can stare up at the sky as he smokes.

   Time moves too slowly and Levi gets restless too quickly. Chain-smoking doesn't help, just leaves his throat feeling raw like his emotions. There's a liquor store across the highway and Levi thinks it can't hurt. There's nowhere to go but up from here at this point. He checks in on Gideon, who's still fast asleep, before he crosses the highway for the store.

     "Sup man," Levi says when he enters and the cashier glances at him with a flat expression. He grunts and then goes back to staring at his phone. Levi looks around the store like he has some specific taste but really he just wants the cheapest thing that's going to get him the drunkest fastest.

     He settles for some honey whiskey because he can drink it without a mixer relatively easily. The cashier is still focused on his phone, says, without glancing up, "ID."

     Levi hands him his fake. The guy looks at it, looks at Levi, knows its a fake and then goes, "Forty bucks."

     He's stiffing him but Levi doesn't really give a shit so long as he's going to let him have the whiskey. He hands over the cash and takes the black bag with the liquor in it.

     There's a bench outside the place. Levi takes a seat before cracking the bottle and taking a long drink from it. The first sip is always unsuspecting so he makes it count. Every sip after burns a bit more and takes more effort to get down.

     He's halfway through the bottle when he hears screaming from the other side of the highway that breaks through his stupor. He slips the bottle back into the bag and stands slowly, looking out across the road. He feels so much better now.

     Gideon's awake and standing by the road, screaming shit that Levi can't half-hear. Stumbling, Levi starts back across the highway. Lights are shining on the pavement and Gideon is frantic.

     "I can't hear you," Levi calls back as he stumbles across the road.

     His voice is drowned out by car horns. Multiple cars? He's not sure. The light is too bright for him to tell. He tears off unthinkingly, climbing over the divider just as a truck passes him. He might not have needed the alcohol after all, this adrenaline kick is doing wonders for him.

     Gideon is fuming. Levi can see that before he's even finished crossing the highway.

     "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Gideon cries when Levi is finally within earshot. Gideon grabs both his arms and shoves him up against the side of his truck. His face is dangerously close. Levi almost laughs.

     "I got us something to drink," he says voice soft and slurring.

     "Are you fucking kidding me, Levi? You almost just died."

     "Don't be dramatic." Gideon grabs the bag from Levi, wailing it across the parking lot. Distantly, he hears the bottle shatter. "Gideon," he yells. "Why the hell would you do that? I spent forty bucks on that shit."

     "You're un-fucking-believable, you know that?"

     Levi isn't even going to fight him on this one. He has his buzz and that's all he'd been looking for. Gideon can't ruin what's already in him. Levi reaches out to him, running his hand down his cheek. "Don't be upset. I'm fine."

     "No." Gideon yanks away. "No. Not this fucking drunk bullshit again. I'm not doing this with you."

    Levi grabs the collar of his jacket and pulls him closer. "It's what you want."

     Gideon tries to pull away but Levi holds onto him tightly. He keeps shaking his head, avoiding Levi's gaze as he says, "I don't want you drunk."

     "It's all the same." Levi shrugs.

     "It isn't the same!" He pushes away from him, pacing the ground with his hand working through his hair. He suddenly throws his arms towards Levi, going, "What drunk Levi does, sober Levi feels like shit about."

     Levi shakes his head. "I don't feel like shit about what we did. And we weren't drunk when it happened."

     "Oh, now you want to talk about it? That's just fucking great."

     Levi frowns. "It meant something to me."

     "I know. I know that Levi. But you don't. Or, at least, you won't admit it. Not when you're fucking sober."

     "I'm not that drunk," he whines.

     Gideon sighs, shakes his head a couple of times, and then starts pushing Levi towards the back of the truck. "Get in. I'll get you some coffee." He walks away before Levi can protest, so he does what's asked of him, climbing in and returning to his spot against the cab.

     A few minutes later Gideon returns and climbs into the back with him, sitting beside him with a to-go cup in his hand. "Drink it. Drunk you is already annoying me."

     "You'd think you'd like drunk me." Gideon doesn't disagree and it feels like an opening so Levi leans over and kisses him. Gideon pulls away before anything goes anywhere, shaking his head.

     "I'm not putting myself through this with you anymore."

     Levi nods. "Okay." It's reasonable. But then he kisses him again because it's still good, drunk or sober, and maybe he just isn't hearing him. This time Gideon doesn't stop him so Levi grabs his face and holds onto him. Gideon kisses back with an urgency that Levi has always recognized and appreciated.

     He tongues at Gideon's bottom lip, earning a soft moan as he climbs into his lap and tips his head back. Gideon has his hands in his hair, running his fingers from root to tip. Levi grinds his pelvis against his and feels a response that he isn't going to ignore.

     Dropping his hand from his neck, Levi lights a path down his shirt to his jeans. His hand slips under his belt but Gideon grabs his arm, stopping him. He pulls away so Levi kisses his chin, under his chin, sucking lightly on his jawline. "This isn't fair," he says voice so small Levi almost doesn't hear it.

     He thinks for a minute that Gideon is crying. He pulls away, still in his lap but giving him space, now. Gideon stares up at him, biting his lip, eyes drawn but clear of any tears. Levi lifts his hand from his waist and places it on his chest. "I wish things were different."

     "I know," Gideon says solemnly.

     "I," Levi's voice cracks, "I just really wish things were different." Gideon nods, sliding Levi out of his lap as he gets up. "Is that it? Are we done? We won't be friends anymore?"

    Gideon sighs, jumping down from the truck. He lifts the gate and shuts it. "Do you mind sitting back here for a bit?" Gideon doesn't look at him when he asks this of him. When he asks for space. "I'll take you home."