Everything is becoming crazy... For me at least... I've had this since 2015... I'm insane... I think I'm insane, I talk and laugh... Alone... I chat and think they're really there when they're actually not.
I always think that someone's watching me... Is that bad?

I always think my life is being controlled... I always think that I have characters hiding in my shadow... I always think they're controlling me...
Sometimes, my mind takes it too far. I would laugh and scream even in public. I would throw and
break just because I think they're just right.... There.

I didn't  trust anyone... Not even my family...
I kept on thinking that my friends weren't really my friends and that they never wanted me around. They only used me... I felt like garbage... I started acting rude... Except to 3 certain people... They cut the strings, they broke the walls, they carried me... They were too kind. They were the only ones I trusted. But trusting only them made me even more insane...
I still had the strength to put myself together though!

I wanted to escape reality... Everyone wants to escape reality... But I knew I couldn't... Everyone knows they can't. Even if they tried, nothing. I would say "I'm fine" and then do whatever...
At night, I sometimes forgot how to feel... But in the morning, I was normal. I pretended to be fine.

Until I couldn't take it anymore....

I told one of my friends...

I told them everything I felt....

I don't really remember how I felt back then, but I knew I suffered badly...

Then she told me she was going through the same thing, that it was hard for her, and she thought everyone was being plastic. She told me lots of things...

It made me feel a lot better...

I don't know what to do... But I'm recovering.... Kinda.... But it's not as bad anymore...
I know that none of you will understand. I just had to do this to take the pain out.

Thank you DBookworm11 for being there for me... I wouldn't be fine if it wasn't for you