Sawyer Bennett, sat in the backseat on the right hand side of her mothers car as they drove to pick up her older sister Rue from rehab.

The whole car ride there was filled with an uncomfortable silence. No one knew what to expect.

Leslie their mother was hopeful that Rue had finally hit rock bottom and decided to change after her over dose, as did Gia the youngest of the Bennetts, but Sawyer not so much. She was angry with Rue for everything she put their mother through.

Sawyer thought Rue was selfish for letting drugs take over her and traumatizing everyone around her, all especially after their father had died and no one seemed to completely recover from that.

          The car came to a stop. Gia jumped out of the car and quickly ran to Rue, embracing her in a passionate hug. Leslie stood in front of the car and watched, with a sympathetic look on her face.

Sawyer decided to stay put. She store up at the car ceiling, with both air pods in her ears, not daring to look out the window and make eye contact with any of them.

Sawyer knew if she looked at her mother she'd make her get out and greet her sister, and she also knew if she made eye contact with either of her sisters she'd get emotional and have a melt down.

Deep down Sawyer knew she missed her sister more than anything and was happy she made it this far, but she would never let anyone know that.

      Once everyone was in the car Leslie started driving home. Sawyer was very anxious. She wasn't sure what to say to Rue. She didn't even want to look at her sister that was sitting just a few inches away from her.

Sawyer was staring out the window looking at a blonde girl that was wearing a long white dress with a red Japanese ribbon tie. It whipped in the wind behind her. She was passing by on her bike.

Gia reached back and smacked Sawyer's thigh as hard as she could.

Sawyer's face dropped. She quickly took one of her air pods out frowning at her younger sister, "Ow Gia!" she hissed.

"I find it very disrespectful of you to not even acknowledge your sister that's come a long way to recovery. The least you could do is say hello." Leslie snarled, from the drivers seat. She made eye contact with Sawyer from the center mirror reflection.

Sawyer let out a defeated sigh, shifting her attention to Rue who was already awkwardly staring at her, "Hi."

"Hey." Rue muttered.

"How are you?" Sawyer asked as she examined Rue. She looked like shit.

"I'm alright. You?" Rue answered looking around nervously.

"Me too." Sawyer made a line with her lips.

The two stared at each other for a few seconds waiting for the other to say something. But neither of them did.

Sawyer slightly smiled and put her air pod back in, beginning to zone out again.

         Over the summer Sawyer mostly stayed to herself and hung out with her best friend Brianna Perez. When Rue overdosed that sent Sawyer into a spiral similar to the one she had when her father had passed away.

Sawyer wasn't necessarily shy, but she definitely was more reserved especially when it came to her emotions that she always suppressed inside.

      Sawyer lightly giggled at the remark Brianna had just made as the two were on FaceTime discussing everything they wanted to accomplish for their upcoming coming junior year.

There was a knock on Sawyers bedroom door, "Hang on." She sat her phone down on her bed and got up to open the door.

"Yo." Rue said standing in the door way glancing around the room.

"Hey." Sawyer looked up at Rue giving her a light warm smile, "What's up?" she didn't take her eyes off Rue. It made her nervous, she thought Rue was judging her room.

"Oh uh, I was just wondering if you wanted to come with me to the store real quick? I don't wanna go alone." Rue nervously asked, swaying back and forth.

"Oh yeah, Give a sec." Sawyer grabbed her phone and looked down at Brianna exchanging a mutual look before hanging up. Rue nodded and walked out of the room.

Sawyer stood infront of her mirror that was on the closet and looked at herself. She was wearing a white tube top, with Levi light wash denim shorts, and her hair in a messy bun.

she slipped her feet into her bone colored Yeezy slides after she put on her her white Nike socks.

Sawyer shut off her bedroom lights and closed the door behind her as she walked out. She walked to the living room and looked at Rue who was sitting on the couch.

"Ready?" Rue looked up at Sawyer. She simply nodded as a response, and the two left the house.

Rue walked to the side of the house and grabbed her bike, walking it to the street. Sawyer followed behind her.

Rue got onto her bike and Sawyer got after, wrapping her arms around Rues waist.

    After around ten minutes or so they arrived to a gas station called MILK. Rue parked the bike after the two got off. The girls made their way toward Fezco who was sitting out front, rolling himself a joint.

"There's some new girl in town that I think you gonna be friends with." The red head simply stated as Rue stood in front of him, Sawyer stood next to her quietly.

"Who?" Rue raised her eyebrows and slightly glanced at Sawyer who gave her an uneasy side eye.

"Does she ride her bike everywhere? I think Ive seen her before." Sawyer finally joined in, earning a glance from the Fezco.

"Shit, I don't know maybe. She came in yesterday lookin' all Sailor Moon and shit. I'm thinking to myself, like, looks like somebody Rue would get along with." Fezco shrugged and took a drag of his joint.

Sawyer giggled at Fezco. She liked the way he spoke. After that she didn't speak anymore, instead she just listened to the two catch up with each other.

Sawyer didn't mind not being involved though, she enjoyed it actually. The spotlight wasn't on her and no one really cared to ask her any questions that could potentially make her get in her feelings.

The only thing she did mind was keeping away from going inside the gas station. More so to the back. She wanted to stay as far away as possible.

"I'll be back. Stay outside and wait for me." Rue moved her face directly infront of Sawyers speaking at a slow pace in an attempt to get Sawyer to listen.

Sawyer just quietly nodded her head and watched Rue walk away. She knew exactly what Rues intentions were but she chose not to say anything.

Sawyer stood and watched Fezco as he took a few hits of his joint before he finally broke the silence, "It's been a long time mini Bennett, where you been?"

"I've just been... ya know, around.." Sawyer muttered, "But like how have you been, how's your grandma?"

"She's good. I'm good too, just been chillin." Fezco smiled at Sawyer.

"That's good. I'm glad to hear you guys are all doing good." Sawyer said with a controlled smile.

"How you been holdin up though? I know shit must've been rough with your sister and everything." Fezo asked as he let the smoke slowly escape from his lips.

This question was why Sawyer enjoyed being a watcher rather than a participant.

She paused for a moment thinking of the right thing to say that wouldn't make him feel any type of pity for her, "I've been really good. I had cheer camp and I mainly just stay positive." she quickly smiled right after she let that out. Was it too much? Did he even believe her?

"Aye, that's what's up. I'm glad you're not letting everything goin on around you bring you down lil one." Fezco returned the smile back to sawyer.

"Yeah everything's been amazing." Sawyer said with a note of relief.

Rue walked back outside and glanced between the two.

Sawyer could hear the one and only Ashtray talking shit in the distance before Rue closed the door.

AUTHORS NOTES

first chapter, how we feelin 🤔🤔
• also i just wanted to say thank you so much for all the reads on my other Ashtray fan fic. I appreciate all the support. I just wanted to say this story will be a little different than my other one. This story will show more of Ashtrays softer side, and he's more of a lover boy. He's still got the same characteristics from the show ofc but I just wanted to show him in love. Please don't leave negative comments, if there's stuff you don't like simply don't read the story. There's no need for negativity here, this is a positive space!

all votes / comments are appreciated so don't be shy to speak ur opinions & ask questions!

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「unkownm122