MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM

DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED

FIRST EVER HIGH INQUISITOR

"She's what?!" Tori demanded, nearly tripping over herself. Lee had gotten the new Daily Prophet down in the morning.

"What does that mean?" Lee asked, peering over Tori's shoulders as Fred began to read the article aloud.

''In a surprise move, last night the Ministry of Magic passed new legislation giving itself an unprecedented level of control at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

'"The Minister has been growing uneasy about goings-on at Hogwarts for some time,' said Junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley. 'He is now responding to concerns, voiced by anxious parents, who feel the school may be moving in a direction they do not approve of.' This is not the first time in recent weeks that the Minister, Cornelius Fudge, has used new laws to effect improvements at the wizarding school. As recently as 30th August, Educational Decree Number Twenty-two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of the current Headmaster being unable to provide a candidate for a teaching post, the Ministry should select an appropriate person.

'"That's how Dolores Umbridge came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Hogwarts,"
said Weasley last night. 'Dumbledore couldn't find anyone so the Minister put in Umbridge, and of course, she's been an immediate success —'"

''She's been a WHAT?" Tori yelled loudly.

''Wait, there's more," said George grimly.

'" — an immediate success, totally revolutionizing the teaching of Defence Against the Dark Arts and providing the Minister with on-the-ground feedback about what's really happening at Hogwarts.' It is this last function that the Ministry has now formalized with the passing of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three, which creates the new position of Hogwarts High Inquisitor.

'"This is an exciting new phase in the Minister's plan to get to grips with what some are calling the falling standards at Hogwarts,' said Weasley. 'The Inquisitor will have powers to inspect her fellow educators and make sure that they are coming up to scratch. Professor Umbridge has been offered this position in addition to her own teaching post and we are delighted to say that she has accepted.'

''The Ministry's new moves have received enthusiastic support from parents of students at Hogwarts. 'I feel much easier in my mind now that I know Dumbledore is being subjected to fair and objective evaluation,'
said Mr. Lucius Malfoy, forty-one, speaking from his Wiltshire mansion last night. 'Many of us with our children's best interests at heart have been concerned about some of Dumbledore's eccentric decisions in the last few years and are glad to know that the Ministry is keeping an eye on the situation.'"

''Among those eccentric decisions are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the employment of werewolf Remus Lupin, half-giant Rubeus Hagrid and delusional ex-Auror,
"Mad-Eye" Moody.

"I'm quite happy with the decision as well,' Edward Silvers, fifty-two, said from his desk at the Ministry yesterday afternoon. 'I know my two daughters will be safe and happy in this new environment that is now run by the Ministry.'"

"My two daughters... rubbish," Tori muttered, letting Fred read on.

"Rumors abound, of course, that Albus Dumbledore, once Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, is no longer up to the task of managing the prestigious school of Hogwarts.

'"I think the appointment of the Inquisitor is a first step towards ensuring that Hogwarts has a headmaster in whom we can all repose our confidence,' said a Ministry insider last night.

''Wizengamot elders Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned in protest at the introduction of the post of Inquisitor to Hogwarts.

'"Hogwarts is a school, not an outpost of Cornelius Fudge's office,' said Madam Marchbanks. 'This is a further, disgusting attempt to discredit Albus Dumbledore.' (For a full account of Madam Marchbanks's alleged links to subversive goblin groups, turn to page seventeen.)

Fred finished reading and glanced at the three of them, who were silent.

''So now we know how we ended up with Umbridge! Fudge passed this 'Educational Decree' and forced her on us! And now he's given her the power to inspect the other teachers! That's why she was standing in at charms class." Tori was breathing fast and her eyes were very bright. ''I can't believe this. It's outrageous!"

''I know it is" George said dully as they entered the Great Hall. They strolled over to the Gryffindor table, taking a seat with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

"I got a "P",' Ron was saying, ladling soup into his bowl. "Happy?"

''Well, that's nothing to be ashamed of," Fred said, sitting next to Harry and Tori. "Nothing wrong with a good healthy 'P'"

''But,' said Hermione, ''doesn' 'P' stand for..."

'"Poor", yeah," Lee chuckled. "Still, better than 'D', isn't it? 'Dreadful'"

''So top grade's 'O' for 'Outstanding,'" She was saying, ''and then there's 'A' —"

''No, 'E'," George corrected her, 'E' for 'Exceeds Expectations' And I've always thought Fred and I should've got 'E' in everything because we exceeded expectations just by turning up for the exams."

They all laughed except Hermione, who plowed on, ''So, after 'E' it's 'A' for 'Acceptable', and that's the last pass grade, isn't it?"

''Yep," said Fred, dunking an entire roll in his soup, transferring it to his mouth and swallowing it whole. Tori looked at him disgusted.

''Then you get 'P' for poor' —" Ron raised both his arms in mock celebration — "And 'D' for 'Dreadful.'"

''And then 'T'," George reminded her.

"'T'" asked Hermione, looking appalled. "Even lower than a 'D' What on earth does 'T' stand for?"

"'Troll'," Tori said promptly.

Harry laughed again, though no one else joined him. "Surprised you even knew that." Ron began. "Didn't you get all 'O's?"

"No." Tori replied. "I got a couple of 'E's as well. It's only because I pushed myself to study every day."

''You lot had an inspected lesson yet?" Fred asked them, changing the subject.

''No,' said Hermione at once. "Have you?"

''Just now, before lunch,' said George. "Charms."

''What was it like?"!Harry and Hermione asked together.

Fred shrugged.

''Not that bad. Umbridge just lurked in the corner making notes on a clipboard. You know what Flitwick's like, he treated her like a guest, didn't seem to bother him at all. She didn't say much. Asked Alicia a couple of questions about what the classes are normally like, Alicia told her they were really good, that was it."

''I can't see old Flitwick getting marked down," George said, "He usually gets everyone through their exams all right."

''Who've you got this afternoon?" Tori asked Harry.

''Trelawney—"

''A'T' if ever I saw one," Fred muttered.

"— and Umbridge herself."

''Well, be a good boy and keep your temper with Umbridge today," George warned him. "Angelina'll do her nut if you miss any more Quidditch practices."

umbridge makes me so mad