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clx. the joke shop

"Have we been investigating the Malfoys?"

"Not fully, we're still on the Nott family."

Victoria Silvers sighed, crossing her arms as she stared upon one of the many boards on the wall. Lines and pictures filled the board, messy notes, and last-minute ideas written on it as well. Tori was now eighteen years old and officially, working as an Auror for the Ministry. She was standing next to Nymphadora Tonks, who sported a spiky pink hairdo. Unfortunately, it was the only hairdo she could do.

After the tragic death of Tonks's cousin, Sirius Black, Tonks's Metamorphmagus powers had stopped working as a result of her grieving.

Tori had been partnered up with Tonks, who said it was probably because they were the newest. Tori didn't mind, she liked Tonks, they got along just fine and worked well together.

"Shouldn't Bellatrix be a top priority? I reckon she'd have the most idea of where You-Know-Who is." Tori frowned. Tonks was mumbling to herself, taking out her wand and moving the picture of Bellatrix Lestrange towards the top of the board.

The large clock in the center of the Ministry began to chime, meaning Tonks and Tori were off for lunch. "Brilliant. Hey, Kingsley and I are meeting Remus downstairs, you want to come?"

"No thanks. I'm heading down to Diagon Alley, Fred's taking me out for Lunch in the Leaky Cauldron." Tori smiled, putting on her jacket. Tonks grinned, "That sounds fun, tell those two I said hi."

"Will do."

And with that Tori went on her own, waving hello to a few of those who greeted her until she came towards a Ministry Fireplace. She stepped in, imagining Diagon Alley, and within seconds she stepped out once again and was in the the Alley.

Tori walked on the pavement, passing serval stores and overhearing mothers and fathers ushering their children to buy their school supplies quickly. Not many people liked to stay on the streets for too long after You-Know-Who returned.

The streets seemed darker and more quiet, that was until you would step in front of the Twins' shop.

Set against the dull, poster-muffled shop Fronts around them, Fred and George's windows hit the eye like a firework display. Casual passersby were looking back over their shoulders at the windows, and a few rather stunned-looking people had actually come to a halt, transfixed. The left-hand window was dazzlingly full of an assortment of goods that revolved, popped, flashed, bounced, and shrieked. The right-hand window was covered with a gigantic poster, purple like those of the Ministry, but emblazoned with flashing yellow letters:

WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT

YOU-KNOW-WHO?

YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT

U-NO-POO—

THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION

THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION!

Tori chuckled, shaking her head and stepping into the shop. It was packed with customers as usual. Tori could not get near the shelves as she tried to walk through the crowd.

Tori stared around, looking up at the boxes piled to the ceiling: Here were the Skiving Snackboxes that the twins had perfected during their last, unfinished year at Hogwarts; Tori noticed that the Nosebleed Nougat was most popular today, with only one battered box left on the shelf.

There were bins full of trick wands, the cheapest merely turning into rubber chickens or pairs of briefs when waved, the most expensive beating the unwary user around the head and neck, and boxes of quills, which came in Self-Inking, Spell-Checking, and Smart-Answer varieties. A space cleared in the crowd and Tori pushed her way toward the counter, where a gaggle of delighted ten-year-olds was watching a tiny little wooden man slowly ascending the steps to a real set of gallows, both perched on a box that read: reusable hangman — spell it or he'll swing!

Tori pushed herself up the stairs, kissing Fred on the cheek. "Hello Gorgeous," Fred greeted her, grinning. Tori had not seen him that morning. He was wearing a pair of magenta robes that made his bright ginger hair look like a flame.

"Hello. Need any help before we go?" Tori asked, gazing at the many people inside the store. "Go? Oh, right!"

"You forgot, didn't you?" Tori asked him, an amused expression upon her face. Fred fiercely shook his head, "No, it's just been really busy today."

Tori chuckled, eyeing someone familiar. "I can tell... hey, that Harry and Hermione!"

The two were over by the "'Patented Daydream Charms'" Hermione had managed to squeeze through to a large display near the counter and was reading the information on the back of a box bearing a highly colored picture of a handsome youth and a swooning girl who was standing on the deck of a pirate ship.

"''One simple incantation and you will enter a top-quality, highly realistic, thirty-minute daydream, easy to fit into the average school lesson and virtually undetectable (side effects include vacant expression and minor drooling). Not for sale to under-sixteens. You know," said Hermione, looking up at Harry, "That really is extraordinary magic!"

"For that, Hermione," said Fred. "You can have one for free. How are you, Harry?" They shook hands. "And what's happened to your eye, Hermione?"

"Your punching telescope," She said ruefully.

"Oh blimey, I forgot about those," Fred winced. "Here — "

He pulled a tub out of his pocket and handed it to her; she unscrewed it gingerly to reveal a thick yellow paste.

"Just dab it on, that bruise'll be gone within the hour," said Fred. "We had to find a decent bruise remover. We're testing most of our products on ourselves."

Hermione looked nervous. "It is safe, isn't it?"
she asked.

'"Course it is," Tori grinned, she gave both Harry and Hermione a hug while Fred said, "Come on, Harry, I'll give you a tour."

Harry left Hermione dabbing her black eye with paste and followed Fred and Tori toward the back of the shop, where he saw a stand of card and rope tricks.

"Muggle magic tricks!" said Fred happily, pointing them out. "For freaks like Dad, you know, who love Muggle stuff. It's not a big earner, but we do fairly steady business, they're great novelties... Oh, here's George..."

George shook Harry's hand energetically.

"Giving him the tour? Hi Tori! Come through the back, Harry, that's where we're making the real money — pocket anything, you, and you'll pay in more than Galleons!" He added warningly to a small boy who hastily whipped his hand out of the tub labeled edible dark

MARKS— THEY'LL MAKE ANYONE SICK!

George pushed back a curtain beside the Muggle tricks and Harry saw a darker, less crowded room. The packaging on the products lining these shelves was more subdued.

"We've just developed this more serious line," said Fred. "Funny how it happened..."

"You wouldn't believe how many people, even people who work at the Ministry, can't do a decent Shield Charm," Tori sighed sadly.

"'Course, they didn't have you teaching them, Harry," George added.

"That's right... Well, we thought Shield Hats were a bit of a laugh, you know, challenge your mate to jinx you while wearing it and watch his face when the jinx just bounces off. But the Ministry bought five hundred for all its support staff! And we're still getting massive orders! So we've expanded into a range of Shield Cloaks, Shield Gloves... mean, they wouldn't help much against the Unforgivable Curses, but for minor to moderate hexes or jinxes..."

"And then we thought we'd get into the whole area of Defense Against the Dark Arts, because it's such a money-spinner," continued George enthusiastically. "This is cool. Look, Instant Darkness Powder, we're importing it from Peru. Handy if you want to make a quick escape."

"And our Decoy Detonators are just walking off the shelves, look," said Fred, pointing at a number of weird-looking black horn-type objects that were indeed attempting to scurry out of sight. "You just drop one surreptitiously and it'll run off and make a nice loud noise out of sight, giving you a diversion if you need one.

"Handy," said Harry, impressed.

"Here," said George, catching a couple and throwing them to Harry. A young witch with short blonde hair poked her head around the curtain; Tori saw that she too was wearing magenta staff robes.

"There's a customer out here looking for a joke cauldron, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley," She said.

Tori found it very odd to hear Fred and George called "Mr. Weasley," but they took it in their stride.

"Right you are, Verity, I'm coming," said George promptly. He looked at Fred and Tori, "I'll see you guys later, Harry, you help yourself to anything you want, all right? No charge."

"I can't do that!" Harry exclaimed, who had already pulled out his money bag to pay for the Decoy Detonators.

"You don't pay here," said Fred firmly, waving away Harry's gold.

"But — "

"You gave us our start-up loan, we haven't forgotten," said George sternly "Take whatever you like, and just remember to tell people where you got it, if they ask."

George swept off through the curtain to help with the customers, and Fred and Tori led Harry back into the main part of the shop to find Hermione and Ginny still poring over the Patented Daydream Charms.

"Haven't you girls found our special Wonder Witch products yet?" asked Fred. "Follow me, ladies."

Near the window was an array of violently pink products around which a cluster of excited girls was giggling enthusiastically. Hermione and Ginny both hung back, looking wary.

"There you go," said Fred proudly. "Best range of love potions you'll find anywhere."

Ginny raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Do they work?" She asked.

"Certainly they work, we brewed them with the help of Tori. They work for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question — "

" — and the attractiveness of the girl," said George, reappearing suddenly at their side. "But we're not selling them to our sister," He added, becoming suddenly stern, "Not when she's already got about five boys on the go from what we've — "

"Whatever you've heard from Ron is a big fat lie," said Ginny calmly, leaning forward to take a small pink pot off the shelf. "What's this?"

"Guaranteed ten-second pimple vanisher," said Fred. "Excellent on everything from boils to blackheads, but don't change the subject. Are you or are you not currently going out with a boy called Dean Thomas?"

"Yes, I am," said Ginny. "And last time I looked, he was definitely one boy, not five. What are those?"

She was pointing at a number of round balls of fluff in shades of pink and purple, all rolling around the bottom of a cage and emitting high-pitched squeaks.

"Pygmy Puffs," said George. "Miniature puffskeins, we can't breed them fast enough.
So what about Michael Corner?"

"I dumped him, he was a bad loser," said Ginny, putting a finger through the bars of the cage and watching the Pygmy Puffs crowd around it "They're really cute!"

"They're fairly cuddly, yes," conceded Fred. "But you're moving through boyfriends a bit fast, aren't you?"

Ginny turned to look at him, her hands on her hips. Tori nudged him hard, glaring.

"It's none of your business. Just because Tori was your first girlfriend and you two are still together doesn't mean it's like that for everyone else. And I'll thank you" she added angrily to Ron, who had just appeared at George's elbow, laden with merchandise,
"Not to tell tales about me to these two!"

"That's three Galleons, nine Sickles, and a Knut," said Fred, examining the many boxes in Ron's arms. "Cough up."

"I'm your brother!"

"And that's our stuff you're nicking. Three Galleons, nine Sickles. I'll knock off the Knut."

"But I haven't got three Galleons, nine Sickles!"

"You'd better put it back then, and mind you put it on the right shelves."

Ron dropped several boxes, swore, and made a rude hand gesture at Fred that was unfortunately spotted by Molly, who had chosen that moment to appear.

"If I see you do that again I'll jinx your fingers together," She said sharply. Tori chuckled, glancing over her shoulder and seeing a rather blonde boy she unfortunately recognized.

"I'll be right back," Tori said to no one in particular, strolling over to him. She paused for a moment and cleared her throat. "Can I help you find anything?"

Draco Malfoy turned around quickly, looking startled. Once he realized who it was, his face hardened into a glare. "Can I help you find anything?" Tori repeated, her patience's slowly growing thinner. Overhead of them, a small replica of Dolores Umbridge on a tricycle was screaming, "I will have order!"

"No." Draco sneered, looking at her with disgust. "I wouldn't buy anything out of this ruddy store." He said it with such disgust Tori wanted to hex him into next week. Instead, however, to remain professional, she took a deep breath.

"Then I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Tori snapped as she narrowed her eyes at him. "There's not a lot of room in this section, and some other people might actually want to purchase something."

Draco rolled his eyes, taking a box of Instant Darkness Powder off the shelves. "I'll take this." He said, holding out in front of her like she hadn't already known what it was.

"Three sickles."

Draco dug through his robe pocket and put them into her outstretched hand before leaving the shop entirely. Tori handed the money to a worker, watching to make sure he had left. "Brat." She muttered to no one.

Fred came over towards her shortly. "Ready to go?"

✧ ✦ ✧

"How's Tonks?" Fred asked, looking up from his plate of food. They were at a booth in the Leaky Cauldron, where they had gone to get lunch. It was quiet and mostly empty except for the occasional chatter of the bartender and his customers.

"Still gloomy." Tori sighed. "I suppose she's feeling a bit better, Remus is helping her out a lot. He reckons it's all survivor's guilts. She thinks if she would have finished Bellatrix off that Sirius would still be alive. She reached out to Charlie and Andromeda, but I don't know anything more than that. We're all swamped with trying to find the escapees from the Ministry, but we're not getting much done by staring at a board with names on it."

"Any leads?"

"None yet. They've all just disappeared into thin air. Tori replied grouchily. She bit into a few of her chips. "And what about Mad-Eye?" Fred asked, taking a sip of his butterbeer.

"What about him?"

"I overheard Mum say you had a big argument with him." Tori groaned, running her clean hand through her hair. "He won't let me track down Avalon. He says it's too dangerous, and that I'm being too emotional about it. He's given the task to Emmeline Vance."

"What about your training? I mean, you've just started a few months ago." Fred said. Tori tilted her head, "Well, I'm still going through all the protocols. They're deciding if they can move me through faster because of experience with being apart of the DA and helping Harry in June. The usual testing would take a little over three years, but I doubt You-Know-Who's going to wait that long."

Fred nodded, pondering the thought. "I see business is even better than in July," Tori noted, changing the subject. "Probably because kids want to get out of class." Fred chuckled, taking another sip of his drink.

"You don't miss it? Hogwarts I mean." Tori asked, watching the bartender clean one of his glasses. "Of course I do. Things were... easier, I guess. I mean, it's where I met you, and Lee, and everyone else."

"Is Lee still coming over tomorrow?" Tori asked, watching the redhead nod. "Unless something comes up last minute, he said he's available. Reckon he'll want to see the new products."

"I'm excited. We're still going over to the burrow dinner right?"

"That's the plan, maybe try and invite Tonks? I know Mum would like her around Bill." Tori sighed, "I don't know why Molly doesn't like Fleur, she's really kind!"

"Mum thinks they're getting married too fast. Or maybe she's just super overprotective since Bill's the oldest." Fred shrugged, taking a few of Tori's chips before she lightly slapped his hand.

"Get your own."

"I ate mine!"

"And who's fault is that? She didn't have a problem when we started dating."

"Yeah but she's known you longer. We've been friends for seventh years and according to George, it was bound to happen. Besides, we didn't get together until after six years, and they're getting married after knowing each other for a year."

"I think Bill and Fleur really fancy each other. I mean they've known each other for long enough to get married."

"Are you saying we should get married?" Fred raised an eyebrow. Tori went immediately red, "No! I mean, yes! Er— no, but yes. Godric— damn it. I mean, maybe but not now."

Fred only laughed, shaking his head. "I love you, you know that?"

"Yep. You wrote it out on a letter, which I still have. Hands off my chips!"

for a moment, wattpad deleted have this chapter and i nearly cried HAHA

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