Chapter 16 - I hate loving you
(Warning - Chapter contains sensitive themes)
"My name is Min Yoongi...and...I am a hacker."
Yoongi had never felt so afraid as he was at that moment. If there had been a small, shadowy space he could have crawled into, he would have hidden away and died in it.
Jimin's body seemed to tense up, his eyes widening slightly and his breath hitched in his throat. No words left his lips, but he shrunk back slowly away from the older boy completely so their bodies were no longer touching. He looked away and gulped.
"Jimin...?" Yoongi asked quietly.
"Get out."
"Jimin...I-"
"Get out."
Yoongi's eyes brimmed with tears as he stood up in silence. He knew from the second the words left his lips he never should have said them. He left the bathroom, leaving Jimin alone, not knowing what he would do.
There was a bath full of icy water in there, and Jimin had been more than willing to use it earlier. All he could do way pray that the boy wouldn't do anything stupid because of his own stupid mistake...
He was beginning to wish he had emptied the bath...
He sat on the edge of the bed and laid back on the sheets. His hair was still dripping wet from rain and his body had broken out in a cold sweat, but he couldn't care less about the fever at that moment.
Why did he say anything? WHY DID HE ALWAYS HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING?!
Five minutes past and no noise came from the bathroom.
It was then he couldn't take it any more. He knew Jimin too well...
He ran back into the bathroom but it was too late. The boy was lying in the water with his eyes closed, still fully clothed.
"Oh God... JIMINIE!" He cried out, running over. He dragged the limp boy out of the bath and laid him flat on the floor, holding his hand under his nose.
There was no breath... not even a trace.
"Jiminie..." He sobbed, not able to think straight in the moment.
The boy's skin was milky white... like a ghost, and his lips already had a pale blue tinge
Yoongi laced his fingers over the boy's chest and pressed down quickly, trying his best to do CPR, but it wasn't an activity he had ever done before.
Opening the boy's mouth, he pressed his lips against the others and breathed oxygen into his lungs.
Desperately, he repeated this over and over.
Suddenly, Jimin coughed and a spurt of water dribbled out of his mouth as his began to function again.
The boy bolted up on his side and coughed up lungfuls of water, while Yoongi sat back in shock and relief. He was still panting and crying in panic. Suddenly, Jimin fell back onto the tiles, groaning softly.
Silence.
Jimin barely moved.
The older boy was worried that he had stopped breathing again, and leant over to feel, but as his face was above the younger's, Jimin leant up suddenly and pressed his lips against Yoongi's.
The older was shocked and leant back but Jimin closed his eyes and sat forward.
It was only a short kiss, but to Jimin it lasted for hours. He knew that this would be his first and last...
When he pulled away, he stared deeply into the older boy's shocked and watery eyes, but he didn't smile at all...
"I hate loving you." He whispered, biting his own lip and starting to cry again. He gritted his teeth... "I hate it so much..."
He shoved Yoongi's chest, making his back hit against the bath hard. A whimper escaped his lips as pain shot through the point of impact.
He backed away from Jimin, still shocked.
Even though Hoseok and Jungkook had seen Jimin's adoration for him, he himself had never even imagined it, so the whole thing came as a shock... and now it was too late to embrace it.
He expected Jimin to shout at him - throw things and make a mess - but no.
Jimin got up and left the bathroom, not bothering to wipe up the water on the floor. Yoongi was left alone... frozen.
The younger was still angry at the older - in fact he was furious - but he had to do that... just once before he died...
But there was no way he could ever love him any more...
Yoongi's mind was a blur, not only from the sudden kiss, but the fever that was spreading all over his body from the dampness. When he gained enough strength to stand, he went out the bathroom to see Jimin laying out on the bed, wrapped in a fluffy hotel towel.
Both of them were weak. Both of them were vulnerable. Neither of them wanted to admit it out loud.
Forgetting about having a shower, Yoongi collapsed onto the sofa opposite the bed and managed to fall into a fitful sleep, but Jimin couldn't.
His mind was still spinning even though all the pieces of the puzzle were fitting together: The time he had ushered them out of their house shortly after they met to avoid the police; The way he had got into his phone so easily; How awkward he looked whenever the crime was mentioned; even Jungkook's betrayal. Yoongi had had everything figured out.
He sat up in bed as a loud clap of thunder echoed through the room. If it was a normal day, he would have curled up with Yoongi and fallen asleep, but this wasn't a normal day. His feelings as well as Yoongi's secret were out in the open, and the awkward atmosphere between them would forever be increased.
Standing up, he slowly walked over to Yoongi, was lying on the sofa asleep. His skin was covered in sweat, and his breathing was quite fast.
He knelt beside him and sighed, reaching out a hand and stroking his hair.
"I wish it wasn't you..." he sighed in the darkness... "I wish you could just be normal... I wish you weren't a hacker..."
Yoongi twitched in his sleep and Jimin flinched his hand away.
"Why do you have to be like this?" He sighed. "Why does everyone I learn to love turn out to be someone I don't know?"
He stood up, closing his eyes and turning away.
"Why is is now when I look at you all I feel is hatred?"
***
The next day...
Friday 6th September - 7 days till doomsday
***
When Jimin awoke the next morning, he was alone.
He found a note on the floor which had fallen off the table
"Dear Jiminie... Min Suga here.
I decided to leave early... I don't want to keep disrupting your life like I have been. I have gone to rescue Jungkook. If I find Hobi, I will be sending him to the hotel, so do not leave the room.
I am so sorry for the mess I dragged you into. You have every right to despise me - even I hate myself for what I did. You are a good man, Jiminie, and I am sure that you will cherish these last few days without me, because I am a bad man. A bad man you should have never had the misfortune to meet.
Please forget me. I was nothing but a pain and annoyance in your life. Just imagine I was never there. Instead, you need to take care of Jungkookie - you know he is a good man inside.
I am going to hand myself in at the station, and this whole ordeal will be brought to a close. I am sorry I interfered with your life, and I am so sorry I lied to you. I do not deserve the friendship you gave me.
Good luck Jiminie...
Min Suga out"
Jimin stared at the note, re-reading it over and over again unnecessarily, taking in every word. Yoongi couldn't mean that... could he? He would never be dumb enough to hand himself in...
Just then he noticed another note on the floor...
(A/N - comment if you see it 😉)
"What does he mean?" Jimin murmured. "Final message?"
He stuffed the note in his pocket and sighed. The place was too quiet without Yoongi here...
He wandered into the bathroom and saw the mess from last night - the scrunched up rug on the floor where Yoongi had panicked; the small puddle he had coughed up; even the small mark on the bath where he had shoved Yoongi back into it after the kiss...
The kiss...
Jimin reaches up and touched his lips, remembering the feeling. His anger had been erased by millions of sparks flying through his vision, but now that feeling was gone.
Now he felt nothing.
Sighing, he looked around.
Yoongi had told him to stay put in case Hoseok was alive, so what choice did he have? If he left and Hoseok did come, they would never find one another.
He had to stay...
Picking up his phone he checked his messages, but there was no one left in his life to text. No one.
He was more alone than he had ever been in his life...
(AUTHOR's NOTE and QUIZ)
Sorry for the short chapter guys! A few complications happened but everything is ok now :)
QUESTION 1 - FOR VOTES or FOLLOWS
In BTS mv "Idol" who is the third person to sing/rap?
A) Yoongi
B) Hobi
C) Jimin
QUESTION 2 - FOR MENTIONS
In which chapter did Tae get introduced for the first time?
A) 6
B) 7
C) 8
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