Tobio always had a sunflower-scented perfume in his bag. It sounded strange and out of place, true, but Tobio loved the warm scent of the edible flower. It always reminded him of his late dad who loved to plant different kinds of flowers in small pots that he placed around the yard of their small house. Every morning before sunrise the dark-haired man with deep blue eyes tended to his favorite plants before kissing his wife on the forehead and hugging his two children to go to work.

Among his dad's collection, Tobio's favorite flower was the sunflower. It had large petals and shone under the hot sun, as a child Tobio often had the theory that the sunflower was the incarnation of a being that spread happiness. His mom always laughed at him back then even though she promised not to laugh, huh annoying indeed. But his dad never laughed at him, he listened to whatever his little sun said patiently and Tobio was grateful he had his dad by his side and couldn't help but hope that the warm man would always be there for him.

Until one day fate took his dad to fly as one with the stars.

Kageyama Kento is a very gentle and understanding man, highly dedicated to what he wants to achieve and deeply in love with his family. A typical father who is loved by his family and irreplaceable, but like the opening scene of a clichéd story where the good guys will always pass away early, Tobio's dad went too soon to the bosom of the creator. The tragedy came too soon, and Tobio regretted not having a birthday present for his dad because he was too embarrassed to give one.

On a sunny morning for Tobio who was just about to enter kindergarten, Kageyama Kento was killed by a robber who was targeting the necklace he was going to give to his wife as their wedding present.

Everything was vividly captured in Tobio's mind at that time. The sight of his dad covered in blood as he was carried away by the ambulance and his mom crying hysterically when his dad returned lifeless.

At that time Tobio didn't understand at all, hadn't his dad already come home? So why were his mom and sister crying as if his dad would never be among them again? Dad is here, right? Where did everyone's eyes go? Can't they see his dad lying there? Didn't his dad feel scared under the ground? Why did they put him there? Didn't he scream that he felt scared? Oh is this the same as when they played in the sand at the beach? When his dad buried himself as a joke? Then why was his dadleft alone there? Won't his dad feel lonely?.

Tobio thought hard with his tiny brain that was not yet filled with the realities of the world, purely with his cuteness that was too innocent to process all the things that happened. Tobio did not cry, nor did he feel sad, all he felt was a strong sense of confusion and emptiness. Why was his mom suddenly so rude to him? Why did his sister move into a boarding school and get busy there? Why were his teachers always asking about him? Why was he suddenly moved to his grandfather's house? What did he do wrong?

Since his dad's death, his mom had always ignored him, acting as if Tobio was never home and when she realized he was, she would do all sorts of things to get him out of the way, including beating him for no reason, kicking him out of the house in the middle of the night, refusing to feed him, locking him in his room whenever he did something wrong, most of which he didn't really do and so on.

It continued but Tobio discovered that he didn't mind being treated like that, quite the opposite, Tobio felt that if this was necessary for the happiness of the woman especially in his life then it was fine, Tobio was a big boy and he could handle himself. One day during summer vacation Miwa-nee once accidentally said that all this was because he looked too much like their dad. With exactly the same face shape, hair color and eyes, Tobio was the stubborn version of their gentle dad.

Tobio didn't realize that the day Kento died was the beginning of him learning how to get used to living life under any circumstances.

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Tobio loves drinking milk, milk is an easy-to-find beverage and it's enough to fill his hunger and thirst, isn't it amazing? Two functions at the same time is really cool. Strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, almond, mung bean, taro, hazelnut, blueberry, banana and other milks are the best things Tobio has ever tasted other than Pork Curry which is never absent from his special day with Kazuyo-san.

For mini Tobio, strawberry milk, bananas and blueberries are not good for his main nutrition throughout the day but Tobio has no other choice. Milk and plain bread were one of the few items on Tobio's  food list that his mom allowed him to have in their fridge. Tobio had thought of a scenario where he had a milk factory, it would be nice to be able to drink the creamy drink every day without having to rush to finish it because of the expiration date.

Tobio couldn't blame his mom, the ingredients with the short expiration date were the cheapest to buy, Tobio was grateful for that because at least his mom remembered to buy him something to fill his stomach.

The time when his weekly milk supply ran out was a frustrating time for Tobio, because it meant he had to put up with a piece of plain bread and plain tea -oh sometimes his mom allowed him to use jam- to fight with school subjects at least until lunchtime. His mom had never taught him anything about the kitchen and the stove in their house was higher than Tobio who had just entered elementary school so he couldn't cook his own food.

Because of that Tobio couldn't pick and choose his food, his pocket money was only enough to buy a small yakisoba bun and a melon pan or he would have to endure several days of hunger if he bought more than he could afford.

But strangely Tobio never once found himself resenting this, his simple brain simply told him not to bother his mom any further, it meant he had to accept whatever happened in his daily life. Tobio was a big boy, he couldn't make his mom sad because Miwa wasn't home to comfort their mom whenever the woman who gave birth to them felt sad and blamed Tobio because just by looking at him his mom immediately thought of her late husband.

Well anyway milk was one of his sources of pleasure, especially those with fruit flavors in it.

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When he was eight years old his life improved somewhat after his grandfather, Kageyama Kazuyo took Tobio into his own home, leaving his mom in a mental hospital, where Tobio was only told that his mom needed time to herself and that Tobio couldn't bother her until she was ready to come out of her shell. Tobio remembered that the process of coming out of the shell for a  clams would take a long time, so he never asked anything about his mom or his sister who for some reason almost never visited him.

Tobio loved one of the big ball sports called Volleyball. Kazuyo-san, his grandfather realized this so the old man always accompanied Tobio to play with the worn-out volleyball that was his sixth birthday present.

Tobio took pains to protect the ball with all his pride, it was repeatedly torn by his mom and Tobio could do nothing but wait for Miwa to come home to sew it back up at the nearest sports shop who always said that they could give Tobio a new ball anytime but Tobio always refused, thinking that this shabby ball was the only hope he had to get through the day.

Kazuyo-san was a great coach and Tobio always looked up to his grandfather. Kazuyo-san told him that the setter position was cool and amazing, which motivated Tobio to make volleyball more than just a hobby.

Determined and determined, Tobio promised his grandfather that one day he would take to the international court, play with professional teams overseas and at least win an Asian Olympics.

Unlike his mom who hated volleyball, Kazuyo-san smiled gently, rubbed his head and kissed him lightly on the forehead every time he shared his thoughts about volleyball with passion without intending to interrupt his grandson once even though Tobio was very noisy and could not stay still on his lap.

Tobio's favorite time is when Kazuyo-san invites him to meet with the students he coaches. There he could share ideas with much older and more experienced players and try things out. On that tiny volleyball court Tobio felt valued, no one underestimated him, no one mocked him, no one looked down on him, no one scolded him, no one ignored him, no one hit him-.

Overalls the place where Kazuyo-san trained were Tobio's second comfort zone after his home. He is able to be himself there, a maniac who has most of his brain invested into volleyball.

For Tobio, volleyball is his hope, his life, his love, half his breath and his passion to move forward. Kazuyo more than understood, he truly regretted not seeing the signs of his daughter-in-law's abuses his grandson just because Tobio looked so much like Kento.

When the volleyball is gripped in his two hands, Tobio feels amazing. When the spiker asked him to set the ball towards them and it was hit perfectly through the opponent's block, Tobio felt complete, proud and happy. A sense of contentment surrounds him, a sense of self-worth soothes him and Tobio thinks he'll never be able to get away from the yellow and blue ball for the rest of his life.

Volleyball is his life motto, volleyball is half his faith and volleyball is the only thing worth fighting for in Tobio's life. At least for now.

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After his father passed away Tobio developed a love-hate relationship with the rain. Rain chases away nightmares at night but it also drenches him into a high fever because Tobio doesn't have an umbrella or a raincoat and his beloved seven eleven crackle bag is only enough to prevent his books from getting wet.

Rain displaced Tobio's bad feelings but it also aggravated his bruises so depending on the situation rain was like two different blades to Tobio. He liked the rain because his mom would get home late from work more often due to small storms but he didn't like the rain because his mom would shop less often and Tobio's food rations would have to be reduced.

He loved the rain because the flowers he planted would be well watered but he hated the rain because his mom would use the natural event as an excuse to destroy the plants he had worked so hard to raise and blame it on the lightning, which rarely happened in their neighborhood.

Tobio remembers when he was 9 years old, during the rainy season he was on a strict diet to support his body's balance healing process accompanied by his grandfather to make up for the lack of nutrients and all the physical injuries he suffered. Tobio never disliked the rain as much as those days, where he had to maintain his diet and endure the pain of his skin throbbing with the sting of the antibiotic ointment his grandfather applied everywhere. It took a long time for Tobio to get off that damn ointment.

But back then Tobio was also happy it was raining guests because sometimes his grandfather would make him pork curry with boiled eggs to warm them up. Oh how Tobio loved that strongly spiced food, the spicy sensation of ginger always able to warm his body and soul. He and his grandfather would eat together on the sofa with a thick blanket surrounding them, of course his grandfather would put on the most updated volleyball game to dissect the techniques with his favorite grandson.

When he was 13 years old or in the second grade of Junior High School Tobio would clicked his tongue at the rain, a sign that he would be late again to the hospital. Kazuyo-san's health had been declining lately and Tobio's grandfather had been forced to stay in the hospital due to his weakened lungs, probably from smoking too much (though he never did it in front of Tobio).

It's not that Tobio doesn't try to advise his grandfather, but Kazuyo-san never listens. Sometimes Tobio wondered if his volleyball obsession had been passed down from his grandfather who was adamant about not giving up cigarettes and sake. Maybe so, just as Kageyama Kento loved gardening in his mini flower garden, father and son had both inherited a strong will from Kazuyo-san.

Kazuyo-san's condition was not improving at all. Tobio's visits to the hospital were getting less frequent due to his daily volleyball practice, but no matter what, the semi-finals of the regular inter-school competition were about to take place. Tobio's routine was getting more and more hectic, he had to wake up much earlier to make breakfast and lunch to save money then come to morning practice, go to school until afternoon, attend afternoon practice until evening, go home to take a shower and go straight to the hospital with a cheap sandwich at seven eleven as dinner.

Even at the hospital Tobio couldn't relax, he had to take care of his grandfather, provide for both of them, do his homework and catch up on the lessons he had to leave behind to go to the intense training camp. Every day Tobio only sleeps for about three hours and over time this affects him emotionally.

Tobio became increasingly irritable. His fierce face didn't help at all, people shunned him and his volleyball teammates started openly calling him the selfish king who would rather be on the bench than playing and bossing around. Kindaichi and the other spikers even refused to accept the toss he gave them during practice three days ago.

With Kitagawa Daiichi's coach also suggesting that Tobio will not be accepted anywhere and will continue to be placed on the bench if this continues, Tobio, who is confused by his feelings, is suppressing them even more, making Tobio's life even more messy and full of unresolved emotions.

He couldn't sleep at night thinking about the possibility of him sitting on the bench again. The bench was never cool ok, he wouldn't be able to surpass Oikawa-san if that kept happening. He wouldn't be able to play much longer if that happened.

Three days ago Doctor Tsukishima who was treating Kazuyo-san said that his grandfather's time was coming soon and he knew it from the beginning, but Kazuyo-san didn't want Tobio to be sad so he asked Doctor Tsukishima not to tell his grandson unless the time was really near. Hearing that made Tobio's feelings even more chaotic and he felt hopeless.

He had promised his grandfather to keep playing volleyball until he couldn't do it anymore.

He had to do his best, right? So why didn't anyone want to go with him? Why didn't the spiker who received the ball he tossed put more effort into hitting it? The toss he gave was perfect, right? He has given it his all, right? So why does everyone hate him for trying his best?.

To keep his body in shape amidst his almost endless routine was exhausting. Seeing his grandfather constantly coughing was painful. Trying to improve his already ruined grades was difficult. Trying to be patient with his friends' lack of effort was annoying. But Tobio was trying, right? He's trying to keep his anger down, he's trying to hide his despair, he's trying to balance his body, he's even keeping up with his daily jogging goals by running from home to the hospital.

So why didn't anyone support him when he was standing there giving his all for his team? Why didn't anyone understand his predicament? Why did they- ah right, who would want to spend their time hanging out with a self-centered asshole who had nothing to offer but his obsession with volleyball?.

Once Tobio realized that, he didn't think he needed anyone's recognition anymore, he just wanted to win the nearest match to prove his affection towards his grandfather. Tobio wanted Kazuyo-san to see him win one last time. Ah, if only the Volleyball tournament could be held in an individual format, Tobio would have been the best setter by now.

They lost against Chidoriyama that day. The main reason was because no one hit the ball Tobio was aiming at the last second so the point went entirely to the opponent on the other side.

Tobio went home with frustration in his chest, like any other night he ran to the nearest park, he practiced, practiced and practiced until he couldn't get up anymore. Eventually Tobio's legs gave out, he simply couldn't do anything. It was more than midnight but he hadn't had time to eat, do his homework, dry his uniform, sweep the house, cook rice for breakfast, wash the dishes from last night's meal, visit his grandfather- shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit-.

"DAMN IT!!!"

Luckily there was no one in the garden, any sane person would have been asleep by now and Tobio thought he was out of his mind. Tobio huddled under the mango tree, his heart racing, his stomach churning, his breathing rushed, his eyes blurry, his legs throbbing and his feelings mixed up. Little did Tobio know he was having a panic attack. For a full five minutes Tobio stayed like that until he finally realized that he'd had enough of all the crap he'd put up with over the past two weeks.

For the first time in his life Tobio felt so desperate, his brain felt like it was going to explode and his body wasn't responding to what his brain was saying. His lips were trembling and the cold was starting to get to him. Tobio felt like he just wanted to die.

But unfortunately the vibration of his cell phone demanded his attention. Tobio's trembling hand reached for the rectangular object, his right thumb tracing the contacts and dialing the number he had missed.

"Kageyama Tobio, how can I help you?" Tobio's voice was still very hoarse.

"Good evening Kageyama-san, I apologize for disturbing your sleep, Miyagi General Hospital Admin would like to inform you that just now, at one thirty-seven minutes past one, our patient staying in the Rose Room by the name of Kageyama Kazuyo-san has breathed his last-"

"Huh?" Tobio's breathing became uncontrollable again. It seemed like the hospital staff who had called him could detect this.

"Please calm yourself Kageyama-san, I-"

"Huh? Huh? Wh-what?" Tobio's voice was unclear due to his labored breathing and he almost choked on his own breath.

"Kageyama-san-" The woman's voice on the other side sounded wary but Tobio didn't care to listen anymore, he pounded his knees, forcing them to rise.

Two minutes of trying Tobio started running after his legs were already firmly on their feet. Before he knew it, the rain was pouring down, adding to Tobio's misery.

The streets that night were so quiet, Tobio darted like a bird in flight ignoring the soles of his feet that began to bleed because he forgot his shoes, his left arm hit an electric pole, it looks like it will be bruised later. The gym bag he was carrying swayed violently, his sea-blue pupils quivered, his steps began to falter and Tobio almost fell down because of the slippery road.

But he made it, Tobio managed to reach the door of the flower ward, unaware of the nurse who tried to stop him. Tobio fell in front of the door to the room with the rose symbol but his hands refused to give up, he dragged his immobilized body along.

Tobio couldn't interpret any of the rainy bastard feelings that plagued him at the moment, since childhood he had never done well. But certainly Tobio felt like shit, when his hands were able to carry him to the bed where his grandfather had spent the past five months, when his eyes caught the stiff figure of a loved one, a thunderous lightning bolt split the sky along with Tobio's soul splitting into millions of particles.

From that day on, Kageyama Tobio confessed for the first time that he truly hated the rain.