Rain accompanied Kageyama Kazuyo's funeral that morning. The kindly old man known to the neighbors is now just a name, many people came that day. Kazuyo-san was a good person and loved to help others so many also cried to see him buried. Tobio, unfortunately was not one of those people in black, he didn't cry at all.

It's just that his brain has been blank since he was rushed to the ER for fainting in his grandfather's hospital room. The doctors forbade him from going to see his grandfather who was about to be put into a coffin. Tobio could only see his grandfather for the last time in the morning after he managed to muster up a little energy to survive. Several doctors and nurses were behind his body, they didn't want something bad happen to him. Tobio was grateful that at least in his last moments Kazuyo-san was surrounded by good people.

Kageyama Kazuyo loved sake. Sake, an alcoholic beverage made from fermented rice, is a traditional Japanese drink that is usually drunk at banquets or to unwind after a long day of work. Although he is not an alcoholic, there is no denying that Kazuyo loves drinking sake and everyone close to him knows it.

Thus none of them interrupted Tobio's act of pouring a bottle of sake around his grandfather's grave, the young boy also placed the two sunflowers he had managed to plant. Gradually, Kazuyo-san's acquaintances left, leaving Tobio alone. The hospital staff who had treated his grandfather had also left.

Tobio lowered himself in front of the grave, both hands removing the umbrella he was holding, Tobio let the rain hide what he felt. The only grandson of the late Kageyama Kazuyo didn't know what else to do anymore. He huddled in front of the fresh grave of his grandfather who blatantly slapped him with the fact that he had no one now.

Miwa-nee didn't even come today, saying she couldn't cancel the beauty license exam she was taking or she would lose the chance and have to retake it next year, which was impossible since Miwa didn't have much money to retake the test. Miwa sounded sad and sorry but Tobio couldn't just throw a tantrum to prevent his sister from pursuing a better future. A future without him.

"Tobio-kun?" Tobio raised his head, his nerves catching the only daughter of his grandfather's only sibling, Sakusa Kouka-san if Tobio remembered correctly.

"..."

"Ano, Tobio-kun, I think we should go, the rain is not good for your health dear"

"Taka-kun, please help Tobio-kun up." Kouka-san's husband, Sakusa Takami also helped Tobio up by carrying both of his hands which Tobio didn't refuse, honestly he didn't have the energy to do anything. Kouka-san was surprised when her palm touched Tobio's forehead.

"Taka-kun, let's go to the hospital, right now we can't leave Tobio-kun alone" Takami nodded towards his wife, the brown curly haired man carried Tobio who again didn't give any response.

Tobio didn't feel anything, didn't answer when the doctor asked about his condition, didn't move when the nurse inserted the IV in his hand, didn't say anything when Kouka-san cried while stroking his hair, didn't open his mouth when Takami-san tried to talk to him. Tobio thought his behavior was outrageous but really, he didn't feel like doing anything, even moving his fingertips was very difficult.

He continued to behave like that until the Sakusa couple left him for a while to buy some food. Tobio was a little curious as to why the two were bothering to take care of him, but his desire to ask disappeared instantly, replaced with an endless emptiness. Without realizing it Tobio had drowned in a deep sea of feelings that had never been conveyed.

..........................................................................

Tobio lost his appetite completely, even his favorite foods looked like shit which made his stomach queasy. Tobio always feels sleepy so he sleeps too much and wakes up scared because of nightmares, not just that, sometimes Tobio also wants to slice his own arm like his mother always does when she feels depressed and he is upset because in the room where he is treated there is no object capable of doing that. Come on his mom always felt better after doing that! Don't those doctors understand his wishes?!.

Tobio spent his time in the hospital with changing feelings. His daily cycle was either not wanting to move, wanting to throw himself out of the window or wanting to bang his head against the end of the bathroom door, unlucky for him, Kouka-san caught him doing that last night and she is very not happy about it.

During his stay, the Sakusa family always accompanied him and never left his side. They always took turns looking after him, there was Kouka-san, the daughter of his grandfather's brother which meant she was Tobio's father's cousin, Kouka-san was a beautiful black-haired woman with the same eye color as Tobio, and there was Takami-san, her husband with curly dark brown hair and two moles under his eyes.

Tobio also just found out the fact that they have three children, the first named Sakusa Shouko, a 21-year-old medical student, with straight black hair and blue eyes making her look a little more similar to Tobio, she share a similiar personality with Takami-san, quiet and sensitive to people's emotions.

Then the second son is Sakusa Kyouya, a senior year high school student attending Itachiyama, he is a handsome-always perfect grade- student with curly brown hair and black eyes, not forgetting the tiny mole that inhabits the tip of his right eye, the round glasses he wears add to the friendly impression of this teenager, his personality is like Kouka-san who is warm and caring.

The youngest child of the Sakusa family was only one year older than Tobio. His name was Sakusa Kiyoomi, the germaphobic teen somehow had no problem stroking the back of Tobio who vomited after having a nightmare. The entire Sakusa family is always there for Tobio, even Takami-san took care of the paperwork to transfer Tobio to a hospital near their house so that they can care for Tobio more efficiently.

The reason why the Sakusa family bothered to do this Tobio didn't really understand but he remembered that Doctor Toshiro who treated him said that Tobio could be suffering from depression, prone to self-harm and even lead to suicide and Tobio who was always bad at English didn't understand what the doctor said to the Sakusa couple. What is certain is that they became possessive of him after meeting the doctor with dusky green hair.

The day after Kazuyo-san's funeral there was a middle-aged woman named Sugawara Narumi who engaged him in conversation, she kept asking him lighthearted questions or just telling him things and didn't scold him even though Tobio did nothing but glance at her occasionally as the least courtesy he could give. Heck, Narumi-san even smiled gently when he glared at her. For one week that woman had been by Tobio's side for at least an hour straight.

At first Tobio felt uncomfortable with Narumi-san's presence who seemed to have no problem with anything, always telling silly things but over time Tobio became accustomed to hearing her chatter, sometimes she told him about her son who had just graduated to the first grade of high school, the cat in her house or the plants she grew in her small garden. After four days, Tobio no longer felt annoyed whenever Narumi-san entered his room, no longer ignored her when she told him stories and started to give silent responses periodically even though they could be counted on the fingers.

Narumi-san smiled very softly when Tobio looked into her eyes for thirty seconds on the fifth day of their meeting. Tobio was surprised to see that smile, was what he's doing is counting as great? Tobio couldn't understand Narumi-san at all.

On the sixth day Tobio was able to focus on Narumi-san's story even if it was only for a minute or two, but Kouka-san praised him for it, saying that Tobio had done his best and that he was proud of his cousin's son, which made Tobio feel strange and confused because no one had ever said that they were proud of him other than Kazuyo-san. What's special about him anyway? He can't do anything right, even his mother hates his presence, slap him with a fact that if she can turn time back she never wanted to have him at all.

By the seventh day the doctor had given Tobio the green light to go home for outpatient treatment. Tobio wanted to go back to Miyagi but Kouka-san and her husband forbade him to leave without supervision until Kyouya, who was waiting for the college admission announcement, offered to stay with Tobio for a month. Tobio didn't want to argue with the Sakusa family who had helped him so even though discomfort burned in his stomach Tobio still nodded in agreement.

So Tobio and Kyouya-san returned to Kazuyo-san's empty and dusty house. The Magicom smelled bad because Tobio forgot to throw the rice in it, the dirty clothes were piled up, the wet clothesline was smelly and probably moldy, and the dishes were piled up because Tobio would rather practice until the end than wash them.

Luckily Kyouya-san didn't protest at all, the older teen actually helped Tobio clean everything in just one day's work. Kyouya-san was a good guy, he could understand when he should open his mouth and when he should close it. Kyouya-san also understood what Tobio wanted without him saying it, the bespectacled teen was also very understanding and never crossed the line of Tobio's personal space. Only one day has passed with Kyouya and Tobio already likes him very much.

Today was Saturday, one week after Tobio was discharged from the hospital. Kouka-san's remaining license for him expired and he had to go back to school on Monday. Actually Tobio wanted to go back to school since last week because he was so far behind in his studies but Kouka-san strongly rejected that idea, she quickly contacted Tobio's homeroom teacher to allow him to rest for another week.

"Kageyama-kun? Are you still with me?" A soft female voice broke Tobio's reverie. The blue-eyed teen glanced towards the source of the voice, revealing a soft-spoken woman with familiar gray hair.

"Hmm" Tobio only mumbled but as usual Narumi-san was very happy with whatever response he gave.

"Good, so I hear in two days you'll be starting school? How do you feel about that? It's okay if you feel nervous-"

"I don't feel anything Narumi-san" Narumi looked stunned for a moment but her smile returned - ugh Tobio was sure this mother of one was hiding patience skills as vast as the Pacific ocean, it was endless.

Two days ago Tobio just learned Narumi-san's identity, it turns out that she is a psychiatrist or private mental doctor who is paid by the Sakusa family to help Tobio with his feelings and what is in his brain. Therefore Narumi-san comes to Tobio's house every day to monitor Tobio's mental and physical health, she also prepares a diet that Tobio thinks is quite light and easy to follow. Tobio thinks Narumi-san is an amazing psychiatrist but her fate was shitty because having him as a patient was useless and tiring.

Tobio really wondered how rich the family with the mole really was. They must be very rich considering Kouka-san immediately guaranteed Tobio's life until he graduated from high school without further ado, not giving Tobio a chance to refuse. Even now Tobio was only in the second grade of junior high school.

But no matter how hard Narumi-san tried to be friendly to him Tobio still didn't feel any change, his heart remained empty and he didn't have the energy to spend effort to communicate with others. Tobio just wanted to sleep in his room with his grandfather's old volleyball. Even so Narumi-san never shows any sign of giving up on him, Tobio is also confused, what is left there in him to fight for? Yes, nothing.

He's bad at a lot of things, okay? His grades for example, Tobio is terrible at any subject and he barely passes every semester. Tobio was only good at volleyball, even then he still couldn't bring victory to his team, he could never be like Oikawa-san and worse now volleyball no longer made his heart beat with pleasure. Just like when his grandfather was still there in the stands to watch him compete.

Tobio was actually afraid of himself, why did he who was usually lively suddenly not want to do any activities at all, not interested in anything, not liking anyone, and not wanting to pursue any dreams, even now he doubted if he really had at least one dream.

Like a drowning person, Tobio felt suffocated every second, he often resisted the urge to vomit, his hands trembled easily, his stomach often teased him, his legs were always weak and his eyes often could not cooperate with him by sleeping anywhere. Tobio did not understand what was going on, sometimes he was frustrated, he was angry, he was confused, he was sad, he did not know how to express everything and always ended up feeling nothing.

"That's fine Kageyama-kun, being able to go through a boring routine is a great thing that deserves appreciation" Nobody know what was in the brain of the woman in front of him. How could she always think so casually and positively of him? When all he wanted to give up on himself?.

"Don't get your hopes up Narumi-san, it'll hurt a lot"

As a child Tobio had always depended on wishes, such as that his mother would buy more bread, that his grandfather would visit more often, that his father would not be lonely there, that his grades would improve, that his sister uld accompany him to play, that it would not rain, that his mother would not damage his plants, that the teacher at school would not try to contact his mother because he accidentally stayed in the bathroom for a whole hour and so on.

It was that ridiculous hope that propelled Tobio forward, but now Tobio had nothing left to fight for. It was hard, really.

Narumi-san seemed to have noticed Tobio's mood plummeting, she stood up and said goodbye, told him that their session today was over, reminded him to take his acid reflux medicine before lunch and told him to take the anti-depressant that had been prescribed for him if he felt his emotions getting too much. Tobio neither nodded nor replied but Narumi-san who was used to her patient's behavior left without waiting for Tobio's response.

Kyouya-san was sleeping in his room after writing his novel that was past the deadline. This calm atmosphere is inversely proportional to Tobio's head that keeps throbbing. Good, now he wants to sleep again.

...........................................................................

Kageyama Tobio never missed a practice, not once unless he was in a coma or on his deathbed. Everyone in the volleyball club knew it, a dictator with an obsession with volleyball, a strict senior in terms of volleyball technique, an annoying and troublesome kouhai, but everyone knew why the coach never pulled him from the main cast, Kageyama Tobio's setter skills were rare in a small area like Miyagi.

Despite being dubbed the king of the court and always bossing people around Tobio was still the setter his teammates respected and relied on, everyone knew his skills so they couldn't process the fact that after two weeks of sick leave Kageyama Tobio never came to the volleyball court again, always leaving during gym class and falling asleep at his desk every break without touching his lunch.

Kunimi and Kindaichi, who were assigned by their coach, forced themselves to approach Tobio's class only to find a rare sight of the King looking disheveled. The handsome teenager had quite thick black eye bags, a quite thin body, a flat expression, pale lips, trembling hands and a blank stare. The only thing that looks good is his usual straight haircut.

Kindaichi asked Tobio's classmates and they all said that Tobio had been like this since they attended Kazuyo-san's funeral last time. Yes, Tobio became like this after his grandfather died.

Kindaichi didn't understand what was wrong with that. Tobio had previously mentioned that his father died when he was a child and it didn't affect his playing skills, right? Then why was Tobio suddenly avoiding the gym like it was full of infectious diseases?.

He was secretly glad Tobio wasn't playing, it meant he didn't have to try so hard to adjust himself, his punches with Tobio's crazy tosses, but somehow doing training without seeing Tobio's toned face felt very wrong in Kindaichi's heart.

For some reason he felt angry, wasn't it just two weeks ago that Kageyama yelled at him for not spiking the ball fast enough? Scolding Kunimi to move more actively? Cutting off the coach who told him to relax? Glaring at the underclassmen to stop chatting? Where did the dictator Kageyama go?.

What the hell is that shapeless turd in front of him now? Why did the volleyball maniac suddenly stop with his obsession? Did the hard training with them all these years mean nothing to Kageyama?.

"Damn Shitty-yama, I'll take him to the gym right now" Kindaichi was about to enter Tobio's class but Kunimi stopped him.

"Stop it Kindaichi, shouldn't we have a party for his absence? We can play freely now" Kindaichi didn't know what to answer, he used to wish that but-agh! He himself didn't know why he wanted to bring Kageyama to the gym to play!.

"That's-"

"Don't tell me you want to drag him back to play with us? Don't joke Kindaichi, you're the one who wishes he wouldn't play with us anymore, are you on his side huh? Are you his loyal servant now?" Damn, Kunimi was right, wasn't this what they wanted? But why did Kindaichi's heart feel this wasn't right? Why did his heart say leaving Kageyama alone was wrong?.

"It's not right" Kindaichi muttered.

"What? Oi Kindaichi-" Kindaichi rushed into Tobio's classroom and grabbed the blue-eyed teenager by the collar.

"OI DAMN KING!" The attention of Tobio's entire class immediately gathered around the two of them.

"..." Tobio didn't resist Kindaichi in the slightest, his flat stare was gripping to all present.

"What the hell are you, huh?! Feeling great? Feeling good? Feel like you don't need us anymore?! Feeling like you're the one who's hurting the most? Just so you know you're the asshole, you fucking king!" Kindaichi pushed Tobio's body down. On top of Tobio's body he didn't stop pulling at the collar of Tobio's uniform at an unnatural speed that must have caused an unpleasant dizziness.

"..." Tobio's expression didn't change and it started to scare Kunimi.

"Stop Kindaichi-"

"Acting like a damn dictator, as if we're your useless slaves, ruling here and there like the most righteous and what now? Don't want to play with us anymore? Do you think we pawns are no longer interesting?! Do you think we no longer have a good price?! You want to know why no one hit the ball you threw that day? IT'S BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS THE SET YOU CAN'T GET!!!" For a moment Tobio's pupils quivered but he managed to muster the strength to remove Kindaichi's hand from his collar.

"If only you never came to our club, if only Oikawa-san hadn't graduated by now, then we would have won that day Kageyama" Tobio closed his net briefly then opened it again. His resolve was already rounded this time.

"Then I'm going out" He said shortly, turning to see Kunimi looking at him in disbelief.

"You-what?" Kindaichi slowly backed away from Tobio's body, it was good that he could get out of here as soon as possible and sleep on the park bench near the art extracurricular building until break time was over.

"I'll quit the club Kindaichi, like you said, we'll win if I'm never on that field, you're right, I'm a selfish king who doesn't deserve to play on the field, then according to your wishes, I'll quit" Tobio said it smoothly as if he hadn't dropped a nuclear bomb between his two teammates.

Tobio had actually been thinking about this since he returned home. Volleyball no longer appealed to him, plus his muscles often felt tense lately for no apparent reason, Tobio was not eager to fight on the court anymore. Besides, like Oikawa-san said, Tobio could never compete with him and he could never be like him forever.

"I'll give the coach a letter of resignation tomorrow, see you later Kindaichi, Kunimi" With that Tobio walked away leaving Kunimi and Kindaichi alone in the middle of a noisy class.

The next day Tobio actually submitted a resignation letter that had been signed by Kyouya-san as his emergency guardian, stating that Tobio could not attend any physical activities outside of gym time due to unspecified health reasons. Totally ignoring the barrage of questions and protests from the coach and officially quitting the volleyball club. After that day Tobio never again visited the volleyball court until he graduated from his current school.

Tobio had given up on Volleyball. Like a rock sinking in the deep sea, Tobio had reached the bottom of the ocean. For once he wants to let it all go, he feels tired as hell and not in the mood to respond all the shit that happens one after one in his lifes.

Tobio has lose his spark.