I hadn't known where we were going or what my direction was. Pulling him to the familiar, but it was so foreign now. Dark and cold. But, with every thought about French Cup the tighter I held his hand. Wanting to free him from the other side, so he wouldn't have to go back there and defend them. 

Even his sympathy for that woman, for her boys, was the wrong choice. I could understand where he was coming from. Anyone would feel bad for them, to a point. Until you remembered what they did. We were all victims, but to what? That's where the true anger was. Not being able to place blame. 

I didn't know how to get him to see that. Was he ready to? He'd been around those people every day. To an extent, he'd grown up in their world. That much I'd learned. He was from the wrong side, but he was on our side. He belonged with us. I didn't want him to spend another minute in that hotel. He didn't want to either, hadn't that been what he'd been telling me? Did I know him well enough to understand that, or had I misinterpreted? We had such differing opinions on that woman and her sons. 

We were coming up the street to my apartment now. He'd followed behind me the whole long way, not saying a word. Maybe trusting me, maybe being confused, maybe both. I hadn't said a further word. Just my determination to get him out of that place, but the more this long walk gave me time to think, that determination was fading. 

Suddenly, I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and he stopped with me. After a moment of silence, he squeezed my hand. The only warmth in this cold night.

"Kazuya." Breaking the silence. His gentle voice. Not accusing. Not questioning. Sympathetic, worried. I turned to him finally. Realizing I'd been scared to see his face in case he disagreed. But, there was nothing in his voice which told me that. I'd been wrong in that part at least. There was such little relief, though. 

"Yes." Being gentle with him. Showing my vulnerability that I'd been trying to hide all day to Nikki and everybody. All that anger, my own façade. Trying to match them, just like I was trying to do with Gyeong-Wan now. I was so lost. 

The streetlights were making everything a dark blue. Making everything seem colder. I hadn't even looked up at the sky tonight. Was it cloudy or clear? I'd been so in my thoughts, that I hadn't stopped to even look. 

His gloved hand cupped my cheek, gently raising my face to look at him. Even though I was being vulnerable, I still hadn't looked at his face. Worried still. But, what met me was just himself. Just as always. Nothing to be afraid of. Those kind eyes. 

He shook his head slightly. Fear that he wouldn't talk anymore. I wanted to know his opinion. Desperate now. Wanting to hear his voice. His familiar comfort to me. 

"I don't want to go back to the hotel, either. I wanted to find you. I called you, but you didn't pick up. I figured you were busy and... Um..."

I got closer to him. Our bodies touched, and my arms went around him. My head found a good spot, between his neck and collarbone. Nestling there, his beautiful warmth as I'd longed for. I'd hugged him just this morning, but it felt like a lifetime ago. So much had happened. Way too much. 

He swallowed. I felt every bit of it. "I was worried about you," he went on. "After this morning... I saw you walk away, and I didn't want you to... To be honest, I did something today. I don't regret it, but I had to do something. And honestly... It might be that I can't go back there. I don't know yet. So, if you don't want me to go back there..."

My head separated from its comforting spot. A crease between my brows. What was he saying? We were in a pool of light from the streetlight, almost like a perfectly placed spotlight, so I could see him in full. His tranquil expression despite what he was saying and how he was saying it. His hand started rubbing my back as if to warm me, always concerned even though he was saying this concerning thing.

"What- What did you do?" I asked, unable to comprehend. Was it big? What was he saying?

His hand went quicker on my back. This was his nervousness, his bravery on his face maybe. I found myself breathing too hard, my own worry manifesting for him. What had he done?

"I uh, wrote a letter. To my company's headquarters back home. They run this hotel and many others. I'm from there, from the flagship hotel. My father is very high up in the company. I figured that if I said something, then they might listen. They'd have to listen. They sent me to this hotel to train the front desk staff, but I found an even bigger problem. One they can fix if they just listen. But, if they don't listen then they might think I'm the problem instead, causing one. They might like just what they have."

My mind was blank. Too many emotions and thoughts going around, colliding. No one thought able to escape. "What does that mean?" Like a robot. 

"That means I might lose my job. I won't be employed there anymore. Or, they might yank me back to Korea and reassign-"

He collided with my body before he could say another word. My subconscious grabbing him to myself, hugging him desperately. All of my worry back on my face, in every piece of my body. "But, what does that mean? Wh-" 

Back to Korea. 

"It means-" So calm.

"You can't go back to Korea!" Mournful. My grief. Just ten percent of it, because the enormity-

He nodded into me, understanding, but I didn't understand. What had he done? 

"No, I don't want it!" Using language that a child would. Clinging to him. All of my stress coming out. Swirling thoughts. Yuko's face. That woman's face with her sons. Gyeong-Wan. "I don't want it!"

His hand was behind my head, pressing me to him. His other one was against the small of my back. Hugging me like I was a precious thing. I thought leaving the hotel would save him, but where had my mind been? I'd lost it in the moment in my anger. My desperation. Wanting to take him away from the hotel, anywhere but there, but I hadn't realized that anywhere but there meant Korea. 

If he lost his job? He wouldn't have anywhere to live. He wouldn't have a job in Japan. He'd have to go back to Korea. That was the reality. In all these unrealities, these impossibilities, I'd been thinking about the impossible. Him staying here if he didn't have that job. Being with us, with everybody who now loved him. Wanting him to be around them, be his family. This dream, because that's all it was. A quick fantasy. Now, it deteriorated apart to the reality. Over much too fast.

Breathing too fast. "No, you can't- you can't-"

"I don't want to, either. But, I wrote it in the hope that they'd listen. They need to remove this hotel from the neighborhood. I realized what power I have. You don't understand. Everyone in the hotel is with us. They don't want the hotel to be here, either. I told my company that. So many things. I told them everything. This hotel can't stay. I don't want to be there, either. But, I think I can affect change. I figured, it took just one person to close down French Cup. So, it can take just one person to close down this hotel."

"But, Gyeong-Wan..." My voice pinching. Strange feelings. Proud of him, but so sad. Needing him. I needed him. Breaking down. All this worry, stress, and fear. And now this?

"I know this hotel needs to go. I've been listening to everybody, inside the hotel and out of it. We need to bring it down. What if this letter does it?"

I shook my head, mashing my face into his shoulder in the process. What I now realized were my long held back tears going into his coat. "But, I don't want you to go. There's other ways- we were going to protest! We were going to-"

"That's an excellent idea. I want to stand beside you. I'm sure a lot of people from the hotel will, too. I've done a lot of thinking today." He pulled me away from him, but my arms were trying to overcome. He was so strong, though. He was staring into my eyes now and I was mesmerized. His determination. It was so different than the Gyeong-Wan I knew. This sudden confidence. Where had it come from? He'd always followed, never a leader. But, what was manifesting? "I thought a lot about my future today," he went on, with such a resolve. Just like mine that had faded. Somehow, he'd found it. "I have a lot of skills. I graduated from a good university, from a top program. I speak fluently in a few languages that are desirable in the business world. Maybe I can make it in Japan on my own. Maybe I don't need my family to hold my hand. I hate working in that hotel. I hate everything about it. Nobody is happy working there. If I get fired, I'm coming right back. I'll apply to every job that I can. Don't you worry."

In his words, I forgot about the cold. Even though he was being this courageous, I was still feeling a chill of my own. His will and desire. Were they enough? The business world could be very competitive. That's what I'd heard. Cutthroat, even. He was hopeful and I could see his hope, but...

I shook my head. His eyes went more innocent at this, becoming the Gyeong-Wan I knew. The one always following my lead, trying to learn everything I taught. Giving me those shy looks of wonder. The Gyeong-Wan he'd just been showing me wasn't the one I wanted to know. This one in the corporate world, climbing a ladder that he didn't want to climb. He wouldn't be happy there either. And wasn't that what mattered in the end? His happiness?

"What is it?" He asked gently, still trying to stare into my eyes so friendly. This same boy who bumped into grocery store shelves, ran into telephone poles. The same one who'd kissed his bunny bread to mine. The one who smiled at any chocolate I'd tried to give him.

Chocolate. His smile.

A flash of realization. A slow knowing, piecing it together. 

He wouldn't be happy at that hotel. He wouldn't be happy in the corporate world. He wouldn't make it in the business world. He'd make it- 

"You won't be happy in any of those jobs. You'll be happy at French Cup."

His mouth opened slightly, a short silent gasp in confusion. But, he didn't look unhappy. That's what I wanted.

Finally, a smile on my face. This feeling of relief, this solution. Why hadn't I thought about it before? It seemed so easy. The absolute perfect understanding of him. That smile I'd seen, whenever I'd given him chocolate. When I'd shown him how to make chocolate. That bliss we'd shared. 

My head nestled back in its space, so warm there on his coat. Hugging him anew. His arms rewrapped around me easily, the easiest thing in the world.

"I know what we need to do," I said, finally able to breathe. This solution, right in front of my face the whole time. "I want to train you to become a chocolatier." 

And the silent sigh he'd had inside, all his own tension, slipped out as he breathed out so long and slow. His arms clung to me so tightly, as we hugged publicly in the street. Finally, some semblance of not happiness, but comfort.