"Yesterday at approximately 2PM, a coffee shop was attacked." 

The words of the TV on low garbled as I poured kibbles into Kuro's bowl. I popped open a can of wet food, put this in the bowl, too. With a spoon, I mixed it around. It was definitely too much food, but it felt like he needed comfort, too.

The TV went on. "Filled with people celebrating New Year's Day, a bundle of firecrackers was thrown inside. A young woman received second degree burns on her arms and hands, and a ninety year old woman received treatment for shock. Others were admitted to the hospital for smoke inhalation." 

The TV cut to a short clip that they'd apparently shown on TV last night on the same channel. In the very late evening, we'd been surprised by a large group of people coming to French Cup. Kazuya was trying to clean again and I was trying to clean with him. I'd just gathered a bunch of the food in trash bags, when they started to file in. I didn't recognize any of them and huddled with Kazuya, holding him to myself in protection. An instinct, left over. 

But, without words, the group began to clean. Some came up to us, offering words of comfort. Saying they'd heard about what happened on the news. They were LGBTQ like us, part of a local group. They'd organized quickly and came over. Wanting to help. They grabbed our cleaning supplies and dove in, doing much more than we ever could have on our own. There had to be twenty people there. 

At this, Kazuya had sat at a table and wept again. I wanted to cry, too, but I needed to comfort him. Rubbing his shoulders, his back. Loving him like he needed, like I wanted to. Trying to show him that even though this had happened, it would be okay again. Somehow, these people were cleaning it all up. French Cup would look new again, but even if they could erase the stains, it wouldn't erase this in our minds. But, we could return to something like normal. Okay didn't mean it was all better. It was a middle place. Maybe that's all we could ask for. 

On the TV now, Nikki was there. He was in his normal clothes, and he was standing outside of Chirp's. Apparently a lot of people had gone there after and had still been there and that's where the TV crew had heard about it. He looked absolutely enraged.

"Somebody came into my coffee shop. It's called French Cup. They ----ing blew it up! They hurt people! They hurt my friends! We think it's hate motivated! A hate crime! Because we display proudly that we're LGBTQ over the door with our rainbow flag! Someone targeted us when we were at full capacity, on New Year's Day of all days! What kind of sick mind- what kind of sick sack of ---t would do that?! There were children in there! There was a ninety year old woman! A girl got badly burned from it! We're not going to sit quietly for this! We've been being attacked for over a month! This is the end! Something needs to be done about it! People got injured! We're suffering! They hurt all of my friends!" 

The clip got cut off, but it was the same Nikki I'd seen yesterday. Miyuki had egged him on, both of them getting incensed. After I'd finished throwing up, they'd marched out of the kitchen together, demanding justice. I wasn't against them. They just had no idea who they were up against. Who'd actually done it.

How would they react if they found out it was a fourteen year old and a ten year old? From the younger Matsuda's reaction, I didn't think he'd actually done anything. It was entirely the older one's fault. He'd done it. I still didn't know how to react myself. 

They were here in the hotel. Several floors above me. Facing no consequences. Probably didn't even tell their parents. 

The news went on, switching to another story like what had happened to us was just another interesting tidbit to share. So, my mind was allowed to wander. 

Those boys. They were here for about another week. Should I tell the hotel what had happened? What if they asked how I knew it was them? What evidence did I really have? What kinds of consequences would they expect? Would anyone want to press charges, or were pressing charges even necessary for the amount of wrong they'd committed? Do you need to press charges for a hate crime?

But, a hate crime. Had they known that's what they were doing? Did it matter if they knew? Do you have to know it's a hate crime to commit one? He'd said he did it, because his father didn't like rainbows. That could be taken in all sorts of ways. Not to mention, even if this did become tangled with them involved, the older boy could lie and then who'd be in hot water?

I would, because I would be the one to accuse them.

But, what Nikki had said on TV. His line of reasoning. I had to admit it made sense. He'd said they'd been being attacked for over a month. That was true. I'd seen it with my own eyes, guests from our hotel coming there and making a mess. Kazuya had told me about it, too. I'd even resolved one of the disputes, trying to get one of our yelling guests to go to Starbucks. The guilt I'd felt at her trying to ruin their day for our failures. 

I'd heard plenty of stories from others about the terrible people coming into their stores. Ayane. Miyuki. Even Prin. If I really thought about it, could those have been hate motivated? Was what Nikki was saying on the TV true, and this was all building up?

I'd talked to Matsuda-san so many times. Once, he'd been outright homophobic. That word still sounded strange to me, but it was real. He'd complained about rainbows to Tomoko and Minami, saying he'd wanted to take his family to a movie, but there'd been too many of "those people". In fact, the first times I'd met him he'd been homophobic, going on about Zombie Walk and the rainbows involved, saying "those people" were embarrassing his law group and that he was ashamed to stay at our hotel due to our "association" with "those people". He'd been homophobic the whole time. I'd definitely detected it, getting more and more angry, finally telling him I was associated with them, that they were my friends. 

I'd felt so high and mighty then, telling him that. But, there were consequences. These were the consequences. He was so enraged, that he yelled at his wife about taking their sons into French Cup, a place with a rainbow flag. Had the older boy formed his plan at that time? I had to know. When had he started hating us, too? Was it an influence from his father, or something otherwise bred? I couldn't make sense of it.

It was early now, and I'd requested another day off. Saying it was a family emergency. It was. My family, the one with Kazuya and Nikki and Hanako, everybody. I'd pretty much sat on my bed as soon as I woke up from a restless sleep, staring at the wall, thinking about everything, about everyone.

Would Kazuya be at French Cup now? Or would it be closed? If I went there... 

But something was preventing me. Seeing it yesterday... It had been completely clean when we left. The friendly people even had taken all that garbage away. Most had been wordless, moving with quiet purpose. It took them only an hour, but what that meant. What they'd done. 

Kazuya had seemed numb, and I didn't want to leave him alone. I hadn't called off work yet, so I was worried about work. My stupid, dumb work. It was pointless in the face of this. Useless. No meaning at all. 

Would he be in his apartment? Something in me didn't want to move from my spot again, just like yesterday right after it happened. Frozen to the spot.

The idea of going to French Cup. As I stood here, staring down at the carpet, I realized with a small breath what it was. 

As I watched, a black form came out curiously from under the bed. He wound around my feet and made his way to the cat dish. Gentle noises of Kuro eating mixed with the TV. I stared at him as he gorged himself. I wasn't hungry at all myself. I hadn't eaten since yesterday, before the attack.

Because, that's what it was. No sense in trying to reason with it. It was an attack. The older Matsuda boy had admitted to it. 

He'd admitted to it, and taken away my sense of safety. Any safety I'd thought French Cup had was now gone through his hands. What I was feeling was fear. Fear to go to the place that I went every day, my source of comfort. Even though Kazuya could be there, I was frozen to the spot at the thought of going. 

And that Matsuda boy was upstairs from me, probably asleep in his bed. Facing no consequences at all. Asleep, maybe even satisfied with what he'd done. 

Before I knew it, I found myself dialing my bedside phone. A number I didn't input often. The phone rang for a minute as I went to sit on my bed. Settling in. I stared at Kuro as his head moved around, trying to eat as much as he could.

With a hollow, yet sick stomach, I answered the person who picked up the phone. Someone I didn't want to involve in this, but she was there. Quietly, with no interference, Tomoko listened to me. As I told her about one of our guests, and then his whole family's involvement, I heard her gradually breathe heavier on the phone. 

Because, what I was telling her was an impossible story. About our most important guest and his sons. About him abusing his wife. A baseless claim, unless you saw it yourself. If we didn't have cameras. But, then even more impossible, how those same boys had essentially bombed a coffee shop that had been on the news. Those same boys, just fourteen and ten years old. That there was evidence, search their room. The older one had part of the same firecracker bundle that had gone off in French Cup, and I knew that because I was there. I was there, because I was gay and part of the New Year's Day festivities. That all of my friends had been there, and I'd run after the boys to defend my friends. I'd caught them red-handed. The older one had confessed to me. And I wanted to press charges.