"Did you come back?" Kim-san asked, his apron dirty with red powder as he passed us by. It made me inch away with him being so close, knowing that red powder was as spicy as all hell. If it got into my eyes... I pressed a little more to Gyeong-Wan. He was so warm compared to outside, the snow that had accumulated on us melting in the overly warm interior of Chirp's.

Gyeong-Wan had stayed with us for four hours, talking about his day. We'd told him about ours, and I'd told him and Nikki about Hanako calling Charlotte. I hadn't heard from him since, but at least he was providing her with some comfort. Something that I didn't have the courage to do. I might some day, but I didn't now. It was too intimidating. Nikki understood it, saying he was hesitant to call her, too. However, his came from betrayal. As if she'd wronged him somehow. I wanted to tell him he was in the wrong. That not one bit of this was her fault, and that she wasn't doing it to anybody. But, that was for later. I wanted to focus on winding down, relaxing after such a hard day.

Under the table, Gyeong-Wan took my hand and I realized how much tension had been in my shoulders. I held a menu with my other hand, already knowing it by heart, but needing to do something. I already knew I very much wanted a melon soda. Kim-san made them by hand and they just tasted different.

"Ooh, they have ramyun," Gyeong-Wan said suddenly. He put his menu back on the table pointing at it. "I thought they only had chicken here? I want some. Talk about a reminder of home. Ramyun, egg, and chicken dumplings. Sounds like home. How comforting after today."

"I've never had it," Nikki said, putting his menu down, too. "I was on the fence about what I wanted. Is it good?"

"Oh, very good. I usually make it at home. I saw it for sale at the grocery store here, but I couldn't buy twenty packs of it. I'd never finish that box. I'm so glad they have it here." His voice trailed off, staring at his menu again. He spoke in wonder, as if it were magic before his eyes.

"Well, I know what I'm getting." I squeezed his hand, as enchanted as he was. If he said it was good, that was good enough for me. I was starving, and a big bowl of noodles would hit the spot. That big, warm dish. It did sound comforting, he was right.

He grinned at me, happy. I was smiling, too. This simple thing, making us this happy. It was incredible. I rose my hand, beckoning Kim-san over. He came back, taking a pad and pen out of his apron pocket. Still pressed to Gyeong-Wan, but this time because I very much wanted to, I listened to Gyeong-Wan tell him what we wanted in his soothing Korean tones.

It was just what I'd needed to hear after a very long, and emotionally draining day.

Afterwards, Gyeong-Wan and I were walking a ways behind Nikki. He was walking us home, and there was nervousness like electricity going through my body as we got closer to my apartment. We'd all partaken in soju, but Nikki had drank a lot more of it than we had. Gyeong-Wan had directed us to a very good one, but I was careful since it was so late. I'd have to be alert and at my best tomorrow when I was in my kitchen. But oddly, I was prepared to work tomorrow. Today, I'd been dragging around, unwilling to do anything but the basics. However, he was making me think. Ideas welling over. Giving me courage where I hadn't had any.

Nikki was singing a loud drinking song, marching all by himself in the darkness. There was snow crunching under us as we walked. The lights from the street lamps were lighting our path. It was a narrow street, not a very good part of town. We'd walked maybe twenty minutes to get here, and I knew Gyeong-Wan would have to walk all the way back to the hotel.

Part of me wanted to invite him up to my apartment. Let him stay with me, so he wouldn't have to walk in the cold. It could start snowing again at any moment. And then, part of me...

My daydreams had expanded beyond holding him on a couch in the movie theater. Those thoughts, beyond lustful and going into an entirely different realm. Holding him dearly to myself, kissing him slowly in an adoring. Wanting to tell him how much he'd helped me today, driving away my bad thoughts. My sadness, disappearing. Him showing me a dish I'd never tried, that was sitting in the right place. He said the dish reminded him of home, but it only reminded me of him. His warmth, his love of spicy flavors. The noodles had been overwhelmingly spicy, but with a familiar flavor. It made me want to kiss him, to get that flavor again, searching for it, because he'd washed it away with soju. I'd explore for as long as he'd let me.

We rounded a corner, and our apartment building was there. It was an older structure, needing paint. The rent was cheap due to the oldness of the building, nobody wanting to live here on this side street. It was out of the way of everything, almost in a suburb. Inconvenient for anyone who worked in the city. Lucky for us, it was walking distance, if the weather permitted.

Nikki immediately waved to us, stumbling up the steps and continuing on with his song, not caring that it was past 10PM. He was full of good food, too, and all that soju would swirl in his stomach soon, no doubt. I knew him too well. He was enjoying it for now, though.

We watched him go, and I was smiling, reflecting on our night. How much it had made me forget. But, now those thoughts were coming back. That worry. We'd have to go back to reality tomorrow. Wondering what to do. Reflecting on what had happened, missing everyone.

Warmth surrounded me, as if the cold was shut off by an unknown power. I settled in, recognizing this body shape. His breaths against me. His strong arms, holding me in place. Assuring me that I didn't have to go anywhere.

We didn't say anything for a long time, holding each other. It was so warm here. I didn't want to leave. I'd stay out here all night, hugging him. I didn't need sleep. Maybe I was drunk, or maybe it was too comforting. Just needing him.

There was surge in me, making my legs stretch. Wanting him, making my arms cling tighter around him. The thoughts from earlier as we were walking coming back. Wanting to ask him if he wanted to come up to my apartment with me. Not wanting a one time thing. Wanting the start of something. But, another thought in this warm place of safety...

I didn't want to ruin what we were creating. He was newly out to me. He wasn't out to anyone else. Had he had sex with a man before? I didn't want to make it awkward between us. What if he said no? Maybe I was drunk. Too loose in my thinking to think clearly. As I thought it over carefully, it made sense.

Instead, I found myself smiling from ear to ear like a child, my face pressed to his coat. This new thought, of wanting him this way in my weakened sensibility as I stood here drunk or buzzed or whatever it was, filling me with the best sense of comfort that I'd ever had. Maybe it was only for tonight. Tomorrow, when I sobered up, I'd come back to my senses, but for now it was... Oh, it just was.