The bright lights of the men's clothing store was jarring after the cold winter's day we'd left behind. Hand in hand, we'd walked the rest of the way after the Uber had dropped us off. This bustling part of the city, but I only had eyes for him. There was only about thirty more minutes for us to shop once we'd arrived, but I found I didn't care.

The present he'd brought me had changed my life, and the information he'd told me had changed it even impossibly more.

It had been a whirlwind. 

This shirt I had dreamed of. He'd brought it to me unprompted. I hadn't been thinking of what I wanted to wear to the dance. All day again, I'd been called about the dance by everyone. My former co-workers and my friends as well. The way the hotel was bringing together the dance was as remarkable as it was fast. They really knew how to put on an event, and it showed. The coordinated effort. How professional they were. It touched my heart, how much they were paying attention to the details. But, it had been distracting.

I wasn't thinking about myself, just everyone else. Would they be comfortable, in more ways than one? Going into business mode unintentionally, directing. Knowing what we had in stock for events and parties and trying to go off that to come up with themes. But, all the while I was distracted by something else.

"Gyeong-Wan, how many people can I bring to the dance?"

"Gyeong-Wan, what kind of sound system does the hotel have? What do we need to supply?"

"Gyeong-Wan, make sure they play some country music. Yes, I know that's not very popular, but I like this song..."

How excited everyone was getting. With every phone call, it just grew and grew. This feeling. I wanted that feeling, too. 

But, I was getting tired. My brain was excited, but my body was exhausted. I'd even left French Cup early, saying I needed to feed Kuro. I hadn't wanted to leave Kazuya. He'd seemed deep in thought as well, paying attention to everyone. He was serving ice cream again, and this seemed to be a new staple that was highly welcome with their customers. I certainly had eaten another large chocolate ice cream cone without a thought as to the calories and I'd been so happy about that. 

But, I'd gotten too tired to stay. Wanting to rest up, so I'd have more energy for the dance. There still was another whole day to go, the last day to prepare. What would that be like? So I had to be ready. But, as soon as I'd gotten to my hotel room, I'd realized I was too excited to sleep. Not to mention the phone calls that were still streaming in. These were much too important to ignore. They went along with each other. As soon as I'd get a concern from someone in our community, I'd get a corresponding phone call with someone from the hotel needing that information it seemed. 

So, the afternoon went. I'd watched Kuro eating kibble and fielded phone call after phone call. Happy to do so, but my eyes were closed as I talked by the end. 

Imagine my surprise when there was a knock on my door. I knew it couldn't be the hotel being that invasive. Even our housekeepers were instructed never to disturb a guest. But, I wasn't a guest. So, I'd gotten up on that logic, my body not wanting to leave the bed with everything in itself.

Oh, but how I woke up when I opened the door. Such a pleasant sight. 

There he was, smiling at me. Such a contentedness on his face. What a relief it was to see that face. As if there was nothing wrong in the world. Something I hadn't seen for weeks. It seemed like such a very long time ago, as if nothing awful had happened. It was as if it were erased. A true smile, on the face of the man I love. 

He'd smiled at me in the doorway, and as I'd let him inside, I noticed the bag hanging from his hands. He'd given it to me eagerly, explaining he'd been at a menswear store. He'd been looking for his own outfit, and he'd started rambling.

"I couldn't find the right color for me. Nothing seemed right. But, then I started thinking about you-"

"Me?" Interrupting him, but I couldn't resist. I'd been too shocked. 

He'd swallowed and then looked at me again, nodding so vigorously. We'd sat on the bed together and my body remembered longing to lay down. There was no way I'd lay down. He'd gestured the bag to me, no more words to explain, just that grin again. I was entranced by his smile. What had he brought for me? And then when I'd opened it...

He'd remembered. A late night conversation we'd had. But, it was so much more than that. He'd gone on explaining once I'd opened up the white tissue paper when held the object of my dreams. My mouth was open as I held it up in its plastic package.

"-I was thinking about you. How you said you could never wear pink. That people would make fun of you if you did. Well, you don't have to worry about that here. I promise. Some day, maybe this hotel will be full of people who'd understand. Someday, well I thought... I thought you'd look beautiful in this. Beautiful. Is that the right word? Handsome. Handsome is the right word. What am I saying?" He looked caught and adorable.

"Am I handsome?" I asked. He'd blushed so hard. He nodded, and it was my turn to blush.

"You'll look so handsome in this," he said, a little quieter. It made me lean in more to hear him, and his blush only intensified. 

It only made me smile so wide, my dimples probably so deep. These embarrassing dimples, but I didn't have to be embarrassed anymore. As I held this shirt, I thought maybe I'd never have to be embarrassed again. As I envisioned myself in it, no doubt I was as red as he was. Thinking about him thinking I'd be handsome in it. I'd never had the courage to wear pink. I thought about it all the time. And now, here he was, giving it to me.

When I'd first met him, he'd been wearing a pink beret. Even in the darkness of the street, it had been apparent how light that color was. Then I'd seen him again the same day in French Cup and he'd still been wearing it, confirming my suspicion. A boy, wearing this bright color. I'd been so blown away by him. 

And here I was now, holding such a similar color. He was still talking, explaining about the shirt. Oh, but I had everything I needed. 

Somewhere in there, I started laughing. Holding the shirt to myself. He paused, staring at me open mouthed in shock maybe. But he broke into a grin, too. Laughing with me. 

"Do you like it?" he'd asked. 

All I could do was laugh and hug my new shirt. This new shirt, the first of its kind in my new life. This overwhelmingly happy feeling all of sudden. A strange release, a realization with this shirt. 

In my new life, I could wear any color I wanted and there'd be no one there to stop me. He'd worn such bright colors in French Cup, and I could, too. However, this shirt was meant for the dance. It was meant for me to wear such a bright color in the hotel that dictated what I should wear every day. Those dark colors. But now, I'd be wearing French Cup colors. I'd be wearing this so similar pink to the one he'd worn. This long desire of mine, to wear pastel colors. This freedom of choice. Admiring that he'd gotten to. But, now it was me. 

Suddenly, I'd had the best idea of all time and I'd looked at my watch. 

"What is it?" he'd asked. 

"Um, do you think that same store is still open? Did you see what time they close?"

"No, but we can look it up. Why?"

Then I'd told him about my plan and he'd been so happy. Falling backward on the bed, so adorable. So in joy, that he'd fallen over. I was so happy to see him like that. I'd wanted to pounce on him, but there was no time. Ah, just the idea of wanting to pounce on him. It was what dreams are made of, but this idea was, too. So, I'd grabbed his arm and pulled him up. Not telling him about my plan as he asked away, over and over, so excited with me. 

Now, here we were in the store and I was looking around frantically. We'd taken our time getting here, but I knew now how in a pinch we were. I had to find what I was looking for. 

"What is it? What is it?" he asked, joyous still like a child and so was I. 

Finally, I saw it. I pointed, and started going forward. We were still holding hands, so he followed with me. I was holding his hand in this store, the whole time, and I didn't care at all what people thought. It was an incredible feeling. He let out a small, pleased noise of recognition as to where we were going and it only made my grin increase, like I'd never stop smiling. 

As we approached the wall of folded shirts in their plastic packagings, he clung to my arm, getting close to my body. His whole warmth. It made me sigh inside in pleasure. 

"You said you didn't know what color to wear," I said to him, repeating what he'd told me earlier with certainty.

"Yeah, I don't know. Do you have any ideas? Is that why we're here? I know we're in a time crunch. Um- uh, no I shouldn't mention the time. I like being here with you. Um-" he was rambling, so excited with me, that he didn't know what to say. He was so cute. 

How I felt so free in this store I didn't know. I felt so happy, that I could do anything. Drunk on freedom. That was the feeling. And yet, it was no different than any other day. But, it felt so different. All changed, because of what he'd given me. As I stood there, scanning the wall for what I was after, I realized all that he'd given me. What he meant to me. And I was more certain than ever of my decision. 

Finally, I pointed at what I wanted, then brought it down. He sighed so happily at this, clinging even more to my arm and side. Pressing the side of his face to my shoulder, as I showed my gift to him. This present of a shirt, for him. 

"Pink, just like yours," he breathed. He took it in his hand, then pressed it to himself and in consequence me as well, because we were so tightly linked. His smile was so beautiful, everything I wanted. 

"Yes. We'll match."

It was the most perfect thing in the world. This idea. It felt so right. We would match, and I didn't care what anybody would say. It was suddenly everything to me, how right it was. 

His clinging changed, and he was hugging me. Full on in this store, with a worker right over there. The worker was trying not to pay attention, but he was definitely checking us out. That just made me laugh, incredibly. How strange, but how right. 

This freedom feeling I felt in this moment. I never wanted it to end, but it would end too soon, because the store was closing. That's why it was so empty. That's why there was only one worker. That's why-

"Oh no!"

"What?!" Kazuya gasped, jumping from me, trying to inspect me quickly. Did he think something was wrong with me? It just warmed my heart further. I held his hand, though. Clutching it tightly and he was smiling again. I began taking him someplace, just like before. 

"Come on, we have to check out! What if they don't let us buy it? That would be a disaster!"

He gasped, picking up the pace. Suddenly, he was the one leading me. This play between us, so reflecting reality. His leading me to places so beyond myself. Just like the white rabbit feeling from when I'd first met him, when he'd led me to French Cup. This memory, filling me even more with gorgeous feelings. 

He cleared the final few feet to the counter with a few hops, reinforcing my idea of him as the white rabbit, showing his joy. It just made me laugh, how cute he is. The worker had followed us up to the counter and immediately began ringing us up without words. 

As we went through this process, I found myself laughing again. So happy, that I couldn't help but laugh. What a strange feeling, but I never wanted it to end. But, even more so I wanted to see what was next, which was an even stranger feeling. All this possibility in front of me. What tomorrow could bring. 

As I held Kazuya's hand and swung it back and forth, I could tell from his face that he was thinking the same.