Orlando Mango? 

Also thank you to those who came to my weird, Discord stream thing where I did that screen sharing thing. That balled. 

Third person pov

Tsukauchi had never sweat more in his entire life. Stepping out of that thrift store felt a lot like submitting himself to death, but he knew there was no way he could stay there. He'd be caught in no time at all. He was the only one at the moment who knew All Might and Chad had been kidnapped. He had to go back to UA and inform them! Going to a police station would also be a good idea, but there wasn't one near him at the moment. UA was his best shot. He'd be safer there anyway. He didn't want to put his fellow officers in harm's way if he didn't have to. Tsukauchi was confident the Yakuza wouldn't come after him if he was on school grounds. 

Tired and feeling sort of dizzy, the detective set out, clad in a simple dress and ruffled wig. It wasn't the most convincing, but he'd managed to pull a hat over the top of it. Again, not perfect, but believable enough at a glance. He made sure not to walk too fast, keeping his pace casual. He was glad it was dark. It helped hide the fact that his legs weren't shaved and his shoulders were broader than they probably should've been were he a woman. Not that woman couldn't have hairy legs and wide shoulders-- he was just saying it wasn't helping his case. That's all.  

Tsukauchi practiced taking a few deep breaths as he walked. He had to keep his wits about him. He was tired and felt ready to pass out-- he was pretty sure he'd hit his head in the crash. A concussion wasn't really something he wanted added to his list of problems right now, but what could he do? If he could just get to UA, he'd be fine. It would all be fine. They'd know what to do. He could get medical help from Recovery Girl and held track down Chad and Toshinori. It would be great! 

"Excuse me, ma'am." A gravelly voice chimed behind the detective. Tsukauchi tried not to devolve into complete cardiac arrest, turning his head just slightly to acknowledge that he'd heard. The blood roaring past his ears was so loud and strong he was sure it was about to start leaking out. It wasn't helping his dizziness, either. He was going to pass out, vomit, cry, or maybe a combination of the three. He wasn't sure yet. He genuinely hoped with everything in him that he wouldn't find out. "Have you seen a bloody man stumbling around? About your height, short black hair. He'd be around 40 or so." 

He sounded so polite. Were Tsukauchi actually an outsider in this situation, he'd have no idea they had nefarious intentions. It was as saddening as it was terrifying. The Yakuza really could be anyone, anywhere. And you'd probably never know unless they were dressed the part. These men were vlad rather creepily, so they looked fairly out of place. Whether that was a good or bad thing, Tsukauchi couldn't tell. He guessed now wasn't the best time to be thinking about that anyway. 

"U-Uh, no. I'm sorry." Tsukauchi squeaked out in his best female voice. It tumbled forth sounding strangled and entirely fake. Tsukauchi tried not to cringe, his entire body tense and waiting to see how they'd respond. Maybe with a gun shot straight to his spine. Honestly, that was such a bad female impression, he wouldn't even be that mad if he was met with violence. He took in a deep breath. He really wasn't the best at staying calm, was he? "I-I've got to get going." 

The voice crack. God, fuck, dammit. He was dead. This was the end. He'd just dug his own grave. Hell, he'd jumped in feet first of his own accord. He'd even carved his own headstone! At this rate, he wasn't going to get anywhere, ever. How'd he even made it to adulthood? He was lead Detective? A joke! 

His heart was about to beat out of his chest. He could tell the Yakuza member-- this one wasn't Chrono, but the other one-- was assessing him. Tsukauchi tried not to faint. He was pretty sure he was shaking. Hopefully the man would brush it off as nerves and be on his way, but he doubted that. Tsukauchi's luck had been pretty shitty today. Maybe fate would throw him a freebie. Did he not deserve it at this point? He'd literally had a rocket fired at his car, had gotten in a crash due to it, had watched his best friend get kidnapped, had a concussion, had been forced to leave his favorite trench coat behind, was being chased by the Yakuza, and now, he was in a dress! Nothing against them, but really? Really?

"Very well. Thank you for your time, ma'am." The Yakuza member responded after a tense moment. Tsukauchi began to walk away immediately on reflex, not believing his luck. Was this happening? Or was he about to be shot? He couldn't tell. His eyes were about to bulge right out of skull and he was sweating so heavily he was pretty sure there was a giant wet spot on his back. This was too good to be true. Was he jinxing it by thinking so hard about it? He should just keep walking, take some deep breaths. You know-- try to maintain some form of calm. 

Tsukauchi thought he was off the hook. He honest to god thought he'd be able to turn the corner and just walk away from this entire situation. But alas, today was not that kind to the likes of him. He did turn the corner, yeah. But he did so only to come face to face with Chrono-- the most terrifying of the two Yakuza members. For a moment, the pair just stared at each other. Chrono looked shocked to see him standing there in a dress, and Tsukauchi's eyes resembled dinner plates. 

"So, you-" Chrono started. He didn't get to finish before Tsukauchi was chucking his purse at his face and making a run for it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That's the dumbest fucking story I've ever heard, bro." Chad said once Toshinori had finished explaining where One For All and All For one had originated and how the former of the two could be used. Though Chad couldn't see it, the previous Number One pro gave him a dry look at his proclamation. "Like, you've gotta be making this up, homebody. It sounds like the plot to a cringey movie made in the early 2000s. Why's this All For One guy even bothering? Why doesn't he just live his life? Doesn't my mans have a motive? Where's the character development? The plot?" 

"No one knows why he does what he does. Just that he's evil." Toshinori said in an authoritative sort of tone that left no room for argument. He pushed back his irritation. It made sense that Chad would have his doubts, but this wasn't the type of thing Toshinori would make up. And certainly not in this situation. "And I'm not making it up either, I'm afraid. It's all very true. I'm telling you this because I have reason to believe young Midoriya decided it would be best to pass One For All on... to you, young man." 

Toshinori wasn't sure how he could tell, but Chad was definitely giving him a flat look right now. The man let out a heavy sigh. This wasn't going to work. There was no way they were going to get out of here. Even if Chad did have One For All now, there was no way he'd get a hang of it in time to get them out of here. Hell, there was a chance it could overload his body if he tried to activate it. He hadn't gone through any form of conditioning. Though fit, the type of regime you had to maintain to remain strong enough... it was very specific, and it took time to build up into it. He doubted Chad was on that level as of right now.

"So you're telling me that I ate a fucking quirk?" Chad questioned, brows raising up to his hairline. Toshinori nodded, then realizing that Chad couldn't see. He cleared his throat. 

"I-- yes. That's a rather crude way of putting it, but it's not wrong." Toshinori admitted. He shifted slightly, accidentally brushing shoulders with Chad again. The space they were in was tight. Maybe telling Chad about the possibility of a quirk was a bad idea. He could end up killing both of them if he activated it in here. Toshinori let out yet another sigh, this one ladened with defeat. He supposed all he could do in this situation was place his hopes in Tsukauchi and wait. He was sure there were already heroes on their trail, aiming to save them from whatever fate awaited them when they got to where they were going.

Things were stifling in this box, but okay. Toshinori's leg was throbbing with pain. He couldn't imagine how Chad felt. The man's ankle was snapped. There was no telling when they'd get out of here, but his adrenaline had to be fading the same way Toshinori's was. He was sure Chad had a perfectly high pain tolerance and all, but a broken bone that had been strained was no joke. That was another reason breaking out of here was a good idea. Even if they did break out of this small prison, how would they even begin to run? Toshinori was in no shape to move, and Chad wasn't either. 

"Like, it's in my body?" Chad asked after a second of silence, drawing Toshinori's attention back to him. There was no way this shit was happening. Was this a prank? This had to be a fucking prank. "You mean to tell my dumb ass that I consumed it. Like a taco? Through the hatch? Chimichanga in the chute? Burrito down the hole?" 

"...Yes?" Toshinori wasn't actually sure. He heard Chad inhale sharply though, so he supposed he'd probably said the right thing. Toshinori waited with bated breath to see what the shaggy man's reaction would be. To be quirkless your whole life only to suddenly... well, eat a quirk, as Chad had put it... it actually sounded vaguely traumatizing. What would be even worse at this point would be if Izuku had been tricking them and Chad truly didn't have it. In which case this all would've been false-- a total lie. Toshinori was beginning to hope that wasn't the case. They'd reached the point of no return. There wasn't a way to go back, now. 

Chad thought about it for a moment. He'd always gotten on just fine without a quirk. When he was younger, he'd been sorta pissy about his lack of a power, but he'd never really yearned for one like most quirkless people did. He was defensive of himself, but he'd never particularly wanted one. That being said, the idea of having one wasn't bad. It wasn't good, either. He wasn't sure. Maybe he just didn't care. It didn't make much of a difference, honestly. Quirk or not, he was Chad. And that was some real shit. 

"Bro, that's wacked. How do you turn it on? Am I gonna turn into an entire ass fucking gorilla like you, or stay looking like a street-wise G? Sorta don't want muscles the size of like, Texas. This shirt is like, low-key my favorite, and it would be a batch of bad guac if I ripped it." Chad said thoughtfully, not sounding at all put out or confused. Toshinori blinked. Well, Chad was taking that better than he'd thought the man would. He expected a barrage of questions. None of which he thought would pertain to turning it on. Chad seemed calm, at least. Panic could lead to... well, Toshinori actually didn't want to think about that possibility. He was just glad the young man was taking it so well.

"Maybe turning it on isn't the best idea. You haven't had any training-- you could hurt yourself." Toshinori said confidently. He'd obviously never seen anyone's limbs blow off because of it, but he knew his quirk, and he could still recall Nana Shimura's words to him. He didn't want this young man mangled because of misinformation, or because of Toshinori's irresponsibility. The ex-pro would never be able to live with himself. For safe measure, he added, "You could even lose a limb. There's a lot of conditioning you'll need before you can use it. If you even have it." 

"Badass." Chad acknowledged, trying to feel around within himself to see if there was anything different. His chi felt baller-- totally settled and chill, as it should be. Kidnapped or not, Chad's vibes would never be less than immaculate. The Uber Eats driver stood by that. He just had to stay centered and calm and all that shit. No need for anxiety and bad feels, you know? He hadn't died yet, so he probably wouldn't die now either. He'd lived through worse anyway. The man sniffed, brows furrowing when he felt something foreign in his chest. "Ay, bro. I think I found it." 

"Found it?" Toshinori asked, brows furrowing. And then, Chad's eyes began to glow.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Traumatizing. Absolutely traumatizing! He'd made it to UA-- barely-- only to immediately get tackled by like, three Nomu. Dabi was yelling at him, Vlad was squawking at him, and in his muddled state, Tsukauchi had accidentally kicked on of the three Nomu tossing him around like a ragdoll. That had angered them so now he was being flown up in the air to be dropped, apparently. What was worse was that he was so tired he wasn't even sure he wanted to fight back at this point. Going limp like a dead deer rather than trying to struggle was starting to seem like a sweeter and sweeter deal as Chad flew up over thirty feet in the air. 

He'd tried shouting out that he was Tsukauchi, but the Nomu's literal screaming had drowned him out and almost deafened him. His speech was too slurred anyway. The jostling wasn't helping his supposed concussion-- that's for sure. Nothing about this situation was helping, actually. He'd just barely escaped Chrono. Barely! Even he wasn't sure how he'd managed, but he had, and now he was about to get dropped! Vlad was only flying higher and higher. 

Most of 1-A heard the commotion and raced outside. The yard was alight with blue fire. The glare and heat of it made it hard to see just who Vlad had. All they could see was a dress, really. Lillian shuffled up beside Hitoshi and Shoto. Hitoshi was sipping coffee despite the hour, and Shoto was squinting up at the shrieking individual Vlad had begun to violently shake in the air. Aizawa had raced off to get Nezu, leaving them to enjoy the show with tired eyes and a fair amount of confusion. What was even going on at this point? Did they need to be afraid?

"What in fresh hell is going on?" Neito grumbled, dragging himself over as well. He'd been dragged back to the 1-B dorms for that night, and he hadn't been happy about it. He supposed he was home-free now that some dumbass had decided jumping UA's fence had been a good idea. "I'm sorry, is that a dress from Armani he's wearing up there? Color me jealous." 

"He? What the fuck do you mean he?" Bakugo was sleuthing around, as he did. Hovering mostly behind Lillian, who had put herself in charge of Eri. Dabi was shouting up at Vlad to chill the fuck out, leaving the little girl to stand safely on the sidelines and out of danger's path. Lillian was now holding her whilst the child sipped milk straight out of the coconut. There was even a little umbrella sticking out of the hole she'd placed her straw in. The middle of Musutafu was no tropical paradise to most, but Eri had apparently decided to change that. To her, everyday was a day at the beach. Ocean or not.

Dabi was panicking. Literally panicking. He wasn't sure where Chad was, or who this person who'd snuck onto campus was, but Vlad had taken them and was now shaking them around like a rattle. Dabi had questions to ask! But t

"That's a whole ass man up there." Hitoshi agreed with a nod, squinting. "See the shoulders? Too broad. Legs look like linkin logs too. Not to gender or anything, but they were at least born with a penis. Pronouns set aside." 

As if on cue, something dropped from above. The two first year classes watched as it spun through the air. Lillian blinked. Was that-- yeah, that definitely was. Without a doubt, that was a wig that had just fallen from whoever Vlad was actively torturing. Neito let out a low whistle, shaking his head as though in mourning. Even Bakugo looked taken aback. Lillian leaned forward, wincing at the heap of fake hair on the ground. Hitoshi and Neito had been spot on with their gender assumptions. Eri peeked over her sunglasses, her brows raising at the wig lying in the dirt.

"Snatched." Lillian whispered with a slight sniff. Eri put her sunglasses back over her eyes with a nod. Definitely.

"Oh." Shoto, who had been staring at the man Vlad was manhandling for an uncomfortable amount of time, frowned. "That's not a villain. It's just Tsukauchi in a dress." 

Everyone froze. Several heads swiveled in his direction.

"It's WHAT?!"