This is the story of the happiest day of my life. The day I was finally free. Free from fears, anxiety, self doubt, depression and sadness. This is the story of the day I DIED
It was a cool evening, I distinctly remember, as I rode my bike home from school. Although there was a cold wind rushing at me constantly, I couldn't help but sweat and pant for I knew what was coming my way once I got home. I had actually stopped by my best friend Stacey's house to cry over my misfortune. That day we had just collected our report cards, and mine was the same as usual, mostly C's and D's, but this time I had gotten two F's and I had managed to get to get a B and that was in Literature cause that is the one subject were I got to express my self  and be in different worlds as I read the novels given to me.
I had always tried to tell my parents school wasn't for me, but they never listened. They said school is a must and I wasn't the first person to be unhappy in it and I wouldn't be the last either. Sometimes they would even hit me cause they didn't like what I said, they didn't like my honesty, so I just stopped being honest and started doing something else. I started to do something that brought me both pain and relief. I started to cut myself, but that's another story for another day.
Nevertheless, I still had to go home, I still had to meet my parents and I still had to tell them that I'm a failure. I continued riding my bike until I could see my house at a far distance then I stopped. I stopped to think for a moment if I should really go back, I knew what was waiting for me so I began to question myself. I asked my self if it was really worth it, if I shouldn't just run away and never show my face in this town again, but then I heard it, that little voice in my head that always tells me what to do. The voice that tells me to cut myself. It said "Go home now." I obeyed as I always do. I rode my bike home without another thought crossing my mind.
I finally got to my house, got off my bike, parked it, walked to my front door, opened it as quietly as possible entered the house and closed the door behind me.
"You're late." My mother's voice startled me.
"I... I know... I went to Stacey's house that's why. I'm... I'm sorry..."
"We didn't ask for your "sorry"." My dad cut me off. " Where's your report card? "
I swallowed hard, reaching for the report card in my bag. I took it out and handed it to him. He only scowled at me, took it and chuckled dryly while reading it.
"Well look what we have? No surprise at all." 
"What ?" My mum asked from behind him.
"Just look at it yourself. Look at the disgraceful failure you call a daughter."
then she dragged it from him, went through it and just stared at me angrily.
"Mum I... " before I could even finish the sentence a slap had landed across my face making my head turn and that was when the tears started rolling down my face.
"You had one chance! One chance you stupid girl! Your last chance actually... This was supposed to be your senior year result, the one thing that determines by your future... and what did you do? You blew it ! You ruined your one chance at having a future you stupid girl! " at this point two more slaps came my way.
"What university is gonna take you now huh? Please just tell me which one ?"
She wasn't as furious any more. She was calmer now but still obviously upset. She was frustrated, I could see it so clearly on her face. She was tired, tired of me cause I had disappointed her once again.
"What exactly is wrong with you? Just look at you, walking around saying school isn't for you, who the hell do you think you are to decide if you'll go to school or not ?! "
She stared at me for awhile and I just kept on crying
"What is the problem anyways ? Please just tell me what the problem is. Haven't I done enough, haven't we done enough ?" She said pointing to my dad who was just standing there the whole time.
" We pay for this, we pay for that. Not to mention we now have to pay for hospital bills and medication because you have stupid mental disorder! ...and this is what I get ? This ?! " She said throwing my report card at my face.
"Do I deserve that?" She continued , pointing to the report card on the floor "Huh? Please just tell me if I deserve that it not ?"
I remained quiet, crying .
"Answer me !" she yelled.
" No ! " I cried out .
Then there was silence for a long moment, but a moment nonetheless, until she finally said "You know what? I just realised that you are simply a good for nothing and that's all you'll ever be, so you better leave my sight before I do something I'll regret. "
I couldn't believe it. My own mother called me a good for nothing. I just stared at her in shock of what she said.
"Get. Out !" She screamed at me forcing me to run away in fear.
I ran to my room and slammed the door once I got in. The first thing I did was to take out my pills and I took a handful of both the anti psychotics and antidepressants. I would frequently over dose but it didn't matter. I mean, if it was going to kill me it would have done it already, but instead I was alive long enough to go through all that.
I began to look for the one thing I knew that would cause me relief, the one thing I knew that would hurt me more than I had already been hurt. My blade, more like my companion. I finally found it. I picked up the already blood stained, cold, sharp metal , rolled up my sleeve to expose the previously cut flesh and was about to make an incision into my skin, then I stopped again, to think for a moment, questioning my self. For some reason I didn't want to cut myself. I don't know whether it's because I knew it couldn't change anything or because I just didn't want to feel the pain of my flesh opening again, but all I knew was that I didn't want to cut myself and fortunately the voice in my head agreed, but ignorant little me didn't realise the voice I had bigger better plans for me.
I threw the blade away, but I still felt like going crazy. I really couldn't handle all that had been said to me. I needed to get out of there, I needed to escape, and so I did that  without thinking twice. I ran out my room, through the house and out the back door, and I just kept going from there. I could hear my name being called out by my parents but I paid no attention. I needed to get away from them, I needed to be free.
I kept on running till I got to the beach. I lived really close to it so I would always go there to escape everything. The second I got there I just sat on the sand and cried. I cried and cried for hours with no end. It eventually got dark and I got tired. I wanted too sleep, I wanted to sleep forever.
Then that was when I heard it, the voice, but this time it sounded like a song or rather, it sounded like a person singing and the song was about me.
I had been diagnosed with schizophrenia for about a year now and this particular disease causes hallucinations and disconnects me from reality, also known as the voice in my head, but this voice didn't seem like an hallucination. It felt like there was actually someone calling me.
I turned around looking for the person calling me with such a sweet and calm voice, but to no avail. No one was there and I was alone. Then I turned again, this time facing the ocean and that was when I knew where the person was. In the ocean of course. It finally made perfect sense to me. So I got up and began walking towards the ocean.
Now at this point, I'm sure you must be thinking that I was crazy and had gone completely mad, but guess what, I wasn't carazy, I had only gone fully insane and there is a big difference in that to me.
The water had already gotten to my waist but I continued walking till I couldn't feel any ground beneath me. Obviously, me living near the ocean meant I could swim, but I didn't want to swim. Swimming seemed too stressful and all I wanted to do was sleep.
At that moment I could feel something pulling me deeper into the water to come join it and I let it pull me. I got so deep into the water that I felt suffocated and wanted to swim out, but I stopped, once again but this time I didn't question anything. I just knew it was for the best . The voice told me it was for the best, cause then I could finally sleep forever, cause I could finally be free.