Running- all I ever do is run. Fear consumes me at every moment of my life. From the fear of disappointing my parents to the anxiety towards saying a simple sentence, something a pre-schooler could do better than me, I had always felt like I was trapped in a cage. The problem is that I built this jail I've been punished to inhabit. It's all my fault. I've falsely blamed so many people, but I won't do this anymore. I have always known that I can overcome all obstacles, but sometimes, when my own parents don't believe in me, I found it hard to put up a fight. I'm done making excuses. From here on out, I will actively work to make a change in my life.

I've always been that person you see with a big smile on her face, pushing the ones I love to go for their aspirations. No matter what, I've tried to inspire them to have the confidence that I never had in myself. Although that is so, I dwell in my flaws and have never been able to see the potential that I have in me. Even though I know that I can do whatever my heart sets out to accomplish, I hold myself back. It's hard to be willing to believe in myself when the people that I'm supposed to rely on most are constantly fighting. Arguments are all I ever hear. Never have I once heard my parents not unhappy. What hurts me the most is that it's all my fault. Yes, they are angry at each other because of my demons. How twisted is it to think that my parents marriage is in shambles all because I am afraid of saying anything to a stranger?

My parents run a successful business and I'm supposed to be the heir. We've always been in the public eye, but are forced to put up a perfect front to them. Make one mistake and it could cause detrimental damage to the record company. If I can't get over what's holding me back, I could ruin my parents' livelihood that they have worked at for their entire lives. I'm only sixteen, but I have the responsibility of so many people's jobs resting on my shoulders.

I've been through so many public speaking classes that I can't even begin to count them. Even then, I never have been successful. When I get up to speak, I begin to shake uncontrollably, even though I'm certain that I can do this. All my insecurities are forcefully shoved in my face but this one guy in peticular. You know that devil in your head that tells you that you can never make it? That's the one that always comes at the worst times.

I call him social anxiety disorder. He's the one that causes my failures. He's the one who makes me disappoint my parents. He's the one that, even if I shouldn't let him bother me, makes me feel sad- even if I'm that person you always see happy and can point me out a mile away just by my smile. He's the one that makes me have trouble saying a simple "hello" to strangers.

That's why I have never run away, and I regret doing that. Running away will never be an option in my life anymore. I need to be the author of my own fairy tale and write my own happily-ever-after. I know that I can win, and I will win. I will figure out a way to be free from me.

Thank you for reading! I hope you have a great day! This story will be updated on Fridays regularly. What do you expect this story will be like? Leave your answers in the comment section below and if you enjoyed please click the vote button.
Willow

2023 update: Just for clarity, this isn't being continued. I just wrote it as a kid and decided to repost it for memories. :)