Silence is something that can be a gift or a curse. Right now, for me, it's both. Everything is jumbled and I feel as if I am lost in my own mind.

Everything is crashing down on me, and even a gust of wind feels like a sharp slap in the face. All of my life right know seems like a never ending hurricane, just because of this build up of fear.

I haven't began to process anything or let myself feel this fear until now. It's just because of this silence I have been gifted that I began to realize how much I fear everything that's happening to me.

I believe the first cause of this buildup is that I have to go, on telivision, in one month. I'm going to straight out say that I feel that I'm going to fail. In fact, I know I am. The thing is, I can't afford to fail. I risk disappointing my parents again and their happiness is my number one priority. I couldn't live with myself if I let them down.

The next thing that I feel is the cause of my mess is that I'm going to have to tutor Sam. If I fail with that, I'll be disappointing both David and Sam. David may give up on me because of it and Sam may fail his class. I know that I can't let that happen, either.

The fear of failure, disappointment, and judgements are all self inflicted. They are all the reason that I'm in this mess. No, I am the reason.

Tears are making their way down my face as I sit on the nearby bench. As pathetic as it sounds, I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, giving myself a hug. The fear begins to subside as I try to stop my mind that has been on overdrive for too long. Although, even with that fear subsiding, I still feel a sharp pain.

I think that sharp pain is called loneliness. Even with the people I am blessed with in my life, I have always felt distant from everyone. It's not their fault; it's my own. If I wasn't so fearful I think that I would have no distance between me and the people I love.

With the distance, I never have anyone to comfort me. That is also self inflicted. I couldn't let any one see me cry or feel down. That would make them feel bad, and I'd hate myself if I made anyone feel less than happy. Even the worst criminal in the world deserves happiness. Sometimes, I think that I do, too.

I get up from the bench and I spot the secret entrance in the distance, even if it's a little dark out and the sun is just starting to rise. I look around quickly to see if anyone sees me at all, but I stop realizing that no one could really be awake at this hour. I grab the bobby pin from the bottom of my school book bag and start to try opening the door.

It works of course, I wouldn't doubt it working since I've done this so many times, and I slowly creep into the door without making a sound. I feel papers starting to fall out of my unzipped bag and I stuff them back in. I zip up my book bag half way and I see all of the sticky notes lining the lockers. I then make it to my own locker.

I look on my locker and I find the most recent sticky note. I smile sadly, still upset from before, and at this reoccurrence I let myself giggle from happiness. This is definitely my second favorite part of the school day!

It reads:
We cannot become who we want to be by remaining what we are. Push yourself to reach your goal no matter how hard it may be, because it will be worth it when you make it.

Ever since I started my goal a month ago, this is always what I've told myself. I know this sticky note is true, so that's why I will prevail no matter what the cost. I just have to keep this in mind when I have to tutor Sam, the person David was talking about yesterday. This Monday afternoon I fear because that's when I have to tutor Sam.

I jump suddenly hearing soft footsteps in the distance. Who could that be?! No one is ever awake or comes here this early!

I begin to make a run for it. They can't catch me in school! They'll kick me out and I'll disappoint my parents even more than I already have. I know that I have to figure out a way to stay here without anyone finding me.

I dart my head back and forth to try and find some sort of hiding spot. I begin to breath heavily from the fear of being caught.

I can't let them find me! No where seems like a good spot to hide. That's it, I'm just going to run until I find somewhere.

I dash away from the threatening footsteps, and I can feel a rush of adrenaline. All classrooms are locked for extra security, and I take out my bobby pin again knowing that I can hide in one of them. I see the biology room on the right and I decide to go in there.

The bobby pin is being difficult, but I've got to hurry. The footsteps keep getting closer and they're heading my way.

Finally, the bobby pin opens the door and I hide in the back of the room in the closet. I look out the rectangular window on the door and I figure out who was chasing me.

It was the biology teacher.

Fortunately, he doesn't seem to notice me. I think he stopped searching for me after awhile. He's just doing paperwork, and seems really focused on them.

I've got to figure a way out of this mess though! I can't let him find me in the closet. Maybe I can distract him. But how can I do that?

I look around me to see if there's anything that would work. Nothing seems good enough. I let out a disappointed sigh and jump realizing that he may be able to hear me. When I jump suddenly, I make a really loud noise since I landed on the stuff in his unorganized closet.

Wait, I have my phone! I could distract him with that some how. I smile at my plan I just came up with, feeling a little devious. I frown then realizing that this isn't a very good thing to do. I sigh since I know that I've got to take the risk though, no matter how much it hurts me to do this.

I reluctantly pick up my phone and use my knowledge I got from my uncle. I change my email to look like the principal's and I send him an email saying that the biology teacher, Mr. Goldence, needed to grab the papers he dropped off in Mr. Goldence's mailbox in the office. I slowly press send, hoping that this won't get anyone hurt.

I hear him get out of his chair after receiving the message and he heads toward the office. I wait awhile, planning my escape. This has got to work if I want to save myself from getting kicked out of school. Please, let this work!

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for reading this chapter :) Do you think that this will work for Aria? Why do you think Aria is at school so early in the morning? Leave your answers in the comment section below and please vote if you enjoyed reading this chapter!