ͲᎻᎬ ᎡᎬᏙᏆᏙᎪᏞ ( Harry Potter Sequel) by thesilverlotus thesilverlotus

Prologue (Chapter Title)
Fan Fiction (Genre)
Victory & Consequences (Themes)
Third Person Omniscient (consistent)
Suspense level (🌝🌝🌚🌚🌚)

---------------- 1.04.2021 -----------

Before I start, let me give the disclaimer that I have never read Harry Potter or seen the movies so I'm out of my element with regards to how accurately this follows the Harry Potter lore so I will tread with care.

I think it's a great undertaking, to tackle such a popular genre. This story takes place at the height of the fighting. The MC is hearing word of the outcome of the battle. Even though I'm not sure who each character is, I can tell that attacking forces are closing in and at the last minute, the heroes pull off a win. This is a nice place to start. It gives enough of the original story and sets the stage for your own take on it as well.

My main issue, and it's one that I think you saw with my inline comments, is me questioning, "Who is 'she'?" Because the MC isn't named, and many others are, I had a hard time getting to know her and therefore, it was hard for me to become emotionally invested.

I WANTED to know her name, who she was, what she was capable of, etc. etc.

In my opinion, even true fans would appreciate the clarity, and non-fans, of course, will as well.

Overall, I think the idea of starting at the end of a battle (the end of the story) such as this where we get a taste of the old series while setting up for the new chapter you plan for it is a good idea, but why not give us a name so we can fall in love with (and ultimately root for) your character?

I think it'd go a long way. You're rewriting it right now, but I think where you start now is a good call.

Good luck with it, and feel free to come back for another review anytime at all! Happy new year.

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