I kept thinking about the whole normal dating thing and coming of age. I was 18, 19 in one day and... It bothered me I had never been to prom. I hadn't received a risky text from someone I was maybe dating. I couldn't even read!

I lied awake again all night thinking about it. I needed to stop thinking so much.

Birdie had taken over driving, so Che and Nat and I were in the back seat. Both Che and Nat were sleeping, and I was just thinking.

Had I been ready even? He was nice, my first. He didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to do... But Che was right. 12 was too young. And 15 was too old. I had always looked young too so... Now when I looked back at it, it just didn't seem normal. It didn't seem proper.

I sighed deeply and looked down at Che. He had been 15 when he had his first time, and that was with a girl he liked.

I hadn't even thought twice about my first before he showed interest in me. And in some way, it had been the same with Che. When he showed interest in me, I got interested. I knew it had grown to something more than that now. I didn't love him because he loved me. I loved him because of who he was.

"Hey Birdie?" I asked quietly. Birdie looked over his shoulder at me, acknowledging me. "Can we stop for a fag?"

"Sure, let me just find a spot to park."

We drove for about 10 min and then we held into an empty rest area for truckers. We both slipped out of the car and stood silently in the darkness.

"I've been thinking," I said.

"About what?"

"About me. Do you think I'm fucked up?" I glanced up at him.

"Fucked up people don't ask questions like that," Birdie just replied.

"But... Nothing I've done is normal. I've never done anything normal in my life, Birdie. I can't even call you by your real name for crying out loud." I threw my arms out to the sides.

"Sounds like you're having what a lot of completely normal people have: a beginning life crises. Sure the circumstances aren't exactly normal, but Nathan. You have your entire life to do something normal. You'll catch up."

"No, I won't. I won't go on a first date, or try and kiss a girl to see if I'm really gay and shit. I won't be able to woo Che for example. We won't be dating."

"What did you do in the beginning?" Birdie asked calmly.

"We... We just hung out. We spent a lot of time on keeping everything secret. He took me out hiking once as a surprise though... But we never went on a date. He never asked me to be his boyfriend. We just kind of agreed that we were more than friends and then he told me he was in love with me and later I told him I was in love with him."

"That sounds like a pretty normal relationship. The ones I've had were much like that. I don't think people actually go on dates and stuff. I've never been on a date anyways," he said and shrugged.

"You never took Nat out?"

"No. We had to keep it secret too, remember?" He smiled that half smile of his. "What you've been going through is... It's not normal. Your life hasn't been normal, but you're still a nice guy, Nathan. You have so much empathy for the ones you care about, not to mention loyalty. You're going to be okay, and it might be difficult at times, but if you just talk to Che, Nathalia and me about it, I know you're going to be okay."

He patted my shoulder a bit, and I truly appreciated the action.

"When I first met you I was very surprised. I had read your file more times than I can remember, but you surprised me. The image I'd been building up in my head was nothing like the person I all of a sudden had in front of me. I honestly never understood why they put that muzzle on you. Sure, you were known to have a tendency to violence, and you kept getting into trouble when we arrived in Scotland too. But there was just something that wasn't right about you and the violence. It seemed you were just irked on by your surroundings. I even tried to have you moved to another block, just to keep you away from Cal, but the warden disagreed. There weren't any cats in any of the other blocks, so he was afraid you'd be singled out and be in danger. Honestly, I think he just wanted to keep all the cats in one block because it was easier." He rolled his eyes and looked annoyed even now a year after.

I was about to say something but then the car door opened and a disgruntled Che came walking towards us. He draped his arms around me from behind and groaned loudly.

"My head hurts," he whined.

"Sorry, I needed air," I replied and kissed the side of his head.

"Uh huh... Ugh, I feel like shit." He pulled me back against him and rested his forehead on my shoulder.

"We'll just stay outside till you feel better," Birdie said encouragingly.

"I'd appreciate it." Che patted my head and fished my fags out of my pocket on my jumper. He kept his arms around me the entire time, while he fished out my lighter and lighting up his fag.
"Does it help to keep Nathan close?" Birdie asked a little hesitantly.

"He's just really warm, and I'm cold," Che muttered. "And..." He ran his hand over my head, and I started purring. "This will start if I keep close," he laughed.

"I still don't understand why this happens. On a biological level. Like, why?" Birdie tipped his head to the side and shook it a bit.

I shrugged. I had no idea why both Nat and my animal were this vocal about our love for our men.

"Maybe it's to make me feel better," Che chuckled. "Because it does. I feel a lot less nauseous right now."

"But that's so odd too. Why? Why does it make you feel better? Your nocturnal problems are linked to your inner animal, and Nathan's purring is his animal actually making an involuntary sound of content, much like an actual cat. But your nausea disappears when he starts purring. Would it work with a recording of his purring too?"

"You wanna do experiments? It's not just the sound." Che let go of me and grabbed Birdie's hand. He placed it on top of my head.

"Wauw." Birdie widened his eyes and pulled his hand back, before gently putting his finger on my shoulder. "Your entire body is vibrating."

I nodded and shrugged a bit again. "Nat vibrates too... A little."

"Not this fiercely."

"Well... That certainly makes me feel normal." I scratched my upper arm.

"Sorry, it's just interesting. I haven't met many cat shifters before, especially not anyone with the same abilities as you. It's okay to not be like everyone else when it comes to stuff like this, Nathan. You're not weird. You're..."

"Extraordinary," Che finished and smiled. "I might have told him this once or twice before."