"if you have trouble with men, then you must have daddy issues."

daddy issues.
it's always daddy issues.
but i love my father, and the movies we watch,
and the jokes we have,
and our fun, mother-less days we spend together.

with him, it's easy.
no yelling, no ability to do anything wrong.
with mommy? it's almost always a promise.

she's good at times, great at others,
but lately, things have spiraled
and the relationship feels to be hanging on
by a thread
and i've decided to diagnose myself
with mommy issues.

("oh, your gay ass has trouble with women? do you have mommy issues?"

yes helen, i have mommy issues.)

why must it be like this?
can't i have no issues?
why is the woman who i love
also my greatest enemy
and fear
and dread?

save me from this household
and the negative words that come from her mouth
let me grow older faster
let me make money quicker
so i can "buy my way out," on my own
(like apparently she did,
because now it's an accomplishment to have bought her own car and paid for her own things
and not to have received or accepted any help from her folks) (bullshit!)
and not have to owe her anything more
and to truly be free.