*Troye's POV*

You know in movies where the characters just snap their eyes open and jump out of bed in the morning, completely ready for the day and happiness radiating off of them? That never happens in real life, ever. I'd like to be able to say there were exceptions to that rule, but there aren't. Even today, when I woke up with a goofy grin on my face and an instant good mood, I did not find myself jumping out of bed and full of energy. I was crazy happy though, grinning up at my roof for no reason for nearly five minutes before realizing what I was doing. I wiped the sleep out of my eyes then, groggily rolling out of the bed and onto my floor. I nearly screamed when I realized I'd fallen on my phone, which must have fallen out of the bed while I slept. I noticed the call with Tyler was still going on, though I was still a little too tired to think coherently enough to end it. Instead I peeled myself off the floor and stumbled into the bathroom, grabbing my toothbrush. 

As I ran it over my teeth I slowly began to wake up, like really wake up. My thoughts slowly began to come back to me, at first simple things like 'I used way too much toothpaste' but eventually evolving to the point I realized how high my phone bill was going to be if I didn't get my ass out there and end the call. I hurriedly spat the toothpaste out, cursing as it dribbled down my chin. I wiped it off carelessly before scrambling back to the bed, reaching down and grabbing it quickly. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Tyler had already ended the call, wordlessly alerting me he'd woke up already. As if I hadn't been excited to get out of the door already I definitely was now, getting dressed as I walked. I was still shoving my shirt on as I started down the stairs, pausing halfway to keep from falling down them. Just as I poked my head through the neck hole someone brushed past me. I knew it was Steele without looking, knowing he was the only one who wouldn't bother to strike up a conversation. I bounded down the steps after him, grabbing my bag off the couch and heading straight past the kitchen he'd went into, instead making a beeline straight for the front door. I wasn't necessarily surprised when I heard my name called in an angry voice a moment later, a familiar pattern we'd worked out every time I tried to sneak off without breakfast. 

"Fine." I grumbled quietly, slumping back into the kitchen and falling into my usual seat at the table. Our table was huge, obviously considering the family it had to accommodate, so naturally my seat was the furthest from everyone else I could manage. A plate was placed in front of me promptly, though the usual 'good morning' or 'try to catch the bus today' didn't follow, alerting me something had changed in our never ending pattern. I cautiously looked over my shoulder, taking in my mother's emotionless expression.

"Mom? Something wrong?" She just narrowed her eyes at me, letting out a loud huff of air.

"You kept me up until 4am, Troye Sivan, something is definitely wrong." My eyes went wide with realization, remembering that I hadn't exactly been quiet while on the phone with Tyler. It wasn't my fault he was so funny, how was I supposed to hold back laughter? That, and it was the early hours of the morning, I didn't exactly have the coherent thought to stay quiet. I could only guess how much my face had paled, guilt washing over me.

"I am so sorry, Mom, it won't happen again." I promised, my voice coming out in a rush. In truth, the idea of putting an end to Tyler and I's late night conversations was enough to make my joyful mood die in the blink of an eye.

"It's fine, Troye, do you know how many sleepovers I've had to put up with for your other siblings? One late night phone call isn't going to kill me, but just try to keep it quieter next time." I nodded, grimacing when she annoyingly messed up my hair before sauntering off. I decided I could worry about that in the car though, stuffing the first bite of hash-browns into my mouth. I was chewing loudly when my eyes fell on Sage and Tyde across the table, leaned in and whispering to each other, both obviously stifling back giggles. My eyes drifted to Dad and Steele to see if they were in on it, but they were once again caught up in a sports conversation. I then looked back to Sage and Tyde, raising my eyebrows in question. They both burst out laughing then, gripping the table for support. I immediately regretted wondering when their laughter faded and they both looked at me with matching devious smirks.

"Yeah, Troye, try to keep it quieter next time, you and Tyler were keeping the whole house up last night." Sage spluttered out, another fit of giggles wracking the both of them. I groaned at the obvious sexual innuendo, sinking my face into my hands to hide the corresponding blush. The rest of my family were no help, just chuckling quietly. At least they hadn't broken down like Sage and Tyde, who were still cackling. I decided to cut the family time short then, stuffing as much food as I could into my mouth and turning to my mother.

"May I be excused?" I asked through the mouthful of food, smiling at her grossed out expression.

"Get out of here, loverboy." She sad finally, swatting at my back as I jogged for the door. Normally I would have made a comment about the 'loverboy' thing, but I was just in too much of a rush to care right now. What if Tyler was all ready and waiting for me? I wanted to take advantage of every possible second I could spend with Tyler, partly because we wouldn't have much time together today, and partly because I wasn't sure how much time we'd have together as a whole. It's not like he'd slipped up in the slightest yet, quite the opposite actually, but I could never be too safe. I was past the point of getting out of this without getting hurt if something did go wrong, so subconsciously I'd decided to just throw caution to the wind completely. I had him right now and I was damned well going to enjoy it.

I kept that mindset as I pulled into his driveway, biting my lip as I stared at his closed front door. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to text him I was here or if he'd see me, so I decided to do both. I turned off the car and began to search for my phone, and nearly jumped out of my skin when there was a knock on the window. I whipped my head up, a smile spreading across my features as I recognized Jackie through the tinted glass. I rolled the window down and continued to smile, happy to see hers was mirroring mine.

"Hi, Troye! Wanna come in for a tea?" She asked excitedly, a hint of mischief in her eyes as she obviously knew how annoyed Tyler would get over this. I wasn't particularly fond of tea, but I did love to see Tyler frustrated.

"That'd be lovely." I said cheekily, watching her turn and head back toward the house. I hurriedly got out and followed her, practically bouncing with excitement to see Tyler again. I stopped in my tracks when I realized just how much I was swinging my arms, probably looking like some over-excited five year old. This was really getting bad, how bubbly I got over this idiot. I hurried to catch up to Jackie, who'd already made it to the kitchen. She'd also already occupied herself with putting the kettle on so I just slid into my seat at the table. I wasn't sure where I got off calling it my seat, considering it was very possible it belonged to someone else more than me. I remembered hearing around the school when we were younger that Tyler's dad had walked out on them, but it was possible she'd found someone else since then and that was the reason for the third chair. Or maybe it was just for company in general, I wasn't entirely sure. I'd find out though, I intended to find out everything about Tyler. 

"So, Troye, do you have any siblings?" I perked up at the question, sitting up straighter in my seat as I addressed her, despite the fact she was still turned away.

"Three." 

"Ah, so a big family then?" She asked, a knowing tone in her voice. I laughed quietly, nodding as she turned around to face me. She leaned back against the counter, the kettle bubbling behind her.

"Annoyingly so." I said honestly, remembering the scene from earlier. My family seemed so crazy compared to Tyler's, it must be nice to have it so calm all the time.

"Aw, I'm sure they aren't that bad. You should consider it a blessing, at least you'll always have someone to turn to." She beamed, that knowing parent undertone seeping in. I knew she was right, but there was also no denying the fact that they were annoying as all hell most of the time.

"I guess." I mumbled weakly, not sounding completely convinced. She didn't press it though, turning to start rummaging in one of the many cupboards. 

"Tyler has an older sister on his father's side, but their relationship is kind of strained." She said, not bothering to look at me as she continued her search. My lips quirked up at the new piece of information, smiling despite the information not being that positive. Tyler would be an awesome sibling. Not for me, of course! I'm pretty sure the way I see him is far from brotherly.

"Oh." I replied simply, a little embarrassed by how my thoughts were wandering while talking to his mother. She triumphantly straightened up then, holding a box of teabags and making it clear she didn't actually have tea often. 

"He always wanted a younger sibling though, I'm sure he's going to love how big your family is." She blurted suddenly, turning back to look at me. I grinned happily, surprised to find I actually liked the idea of Tyler meeting my family. I mean, obviously it was going to be a horrendously embarrassing experience for me, but I still found myself looking forward to it. Do you know how many of Sage's friends I'd been introduced to? Or how many brutish guys I've watched hang around the house with Steele? It felt nice to know it was finally my turn to take a friend home. Plus I'd obviously get bragging rights for bringing home the best friend the family has ever met, because let's face it, there is no way anyone can not love Tyler. Trust me, I've tried.

"We'll see about that." I said, smirking slightly as I pictured the unbearable teasing my dad would undoubtedly put him through. He was a nuisance when it came to anyone's friends coming over, but seeing as this was the first time for me he was definitely going to take it up a notch on the teasing scale.

Jackie just smiled knowingly in response, making me take note again of how insanely wise she was for her age. She definitely didn't look any older than my parents, but she acted a thousand eons more mature. Maybe that was just around me though, I had a feeling Tyler got his teasing mischievous streak from somewhere, and if his father had left early on, I had my money on her. I hoped someday she'd get used to me enough to act herself.

"What kind of tea do you want? I have some herbal ones around and-"

"Actually, do you have hot chocolate?" I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks as soon as I said it, realizing how childish I probably sounding. She just smiled though, a big toothy one as she tried to keep from laughing.

"I like you, I should have known Tyler wouldn't bring home someone boring enough to choose tea over chocolate." I smiled warmly, saturating in the compliments. "I assume you want marshmallows?"

"Of course!" I said dramatically, earning another smirk from her as she turned back to the counter. She started to prepare it then, the only sound in the room the radio turned down low in the corner. I found my eyes wandering around the room looking for something to entertain myself, smiling when they fell on the pictures of Tyler yet again. There were the obviously professionally-taken pictures from when he was younger, framed and much bigger than the rest, but those weren't my favorites. My favorite ones were the smaller ones without frames, just pictures tacked onto the wall. They were from an arrangement of different ages, and all in different situations. My personal favorites were the younger one of him playing with bubbles, a close-up of his face covered in ice cream, an adorable photo of him in a soccer jersey with the biggest smile he had plastered on his face, and a more recent one of him and Jackie standing by a Christmas tree. I guess what made me like them so much was that they were just so Tyler. No, not the shitty Tyler from school, but the one I knew and adored. It was almost reassuring to see this was what he was usually like, that it wasn't just some sort of nice guy act he put on around me. 

"He was a cute kid, huh?" I jumped upon hearing Jackie's voice so close all the sudden, awkwardly looking over my shoulder and seeing her staring at me intently. I just nodded my head nervously, gratefully accepting the hot chocolate on the table as an excuse not to reply aloud. I was more than certain if I opened my mouth I'd reply with something along the lines of "He still is", and I couldn't see that working out well.

"Did you know you're the first friend he's ever brought home? I mean, when he was a kid he had playmates over and stuff, but none since he was around twelve." She explained it casually like it wasn't a huge piece of information to me, keeping her eyes on the pictures above my head. I tried desperately to come up with a response equally as casual, though I knew I'd failed before I even tried.

"Really?" I blurted, all of my disbelief and surprise pouring into my voice. This brought her back to Earth quick, her eyes sparkling as she looked back down at me and nodded eagerly, almost like she was happy with my awestruck reaction.

"Oh yes, he never tells me about his social life at all. I was beginning to worry he was caught up in some sort of crime ring before he brought you home. I'm not nearly as worried now. I mean, if his other friends are even a shred like you I'm sure he's got a pretty good handle on things." I didn't have the heart to tell her his other friends were absolutely nothing like me, instead just nodding and trying to hide how happy her compliments made me. When I didn't reply she slid into the seat across from me, leaving a seat between us for Tyler. We drank in silence then, but not an uncomfortable one. I was actually about to start up another conversation when I heard the sound of footsteps hammering against the floor. Not even ten seconds later Tyler turned the corner into the kitchen, his sock-clothed feet slipping slightly as he turned while jogging. He probably thought I was outside waiting for him or something, which would explain the rush.

His eyes were fixed on the cellphone in his hands, completely disregarding us as he marched straight to the fridge. I watched him walk across the kitchen, an obvious swing in his hips as he opened up the fridge and bent down to inspect it's contents. My eyes suddenly drifted lower, silently cursing the world that those pants had to fit him so well. It was like he had it out to get me since my newly realized feelings. Well, that, or he was always this incredibly attractive and I'd never noticed before. A sudden shout made me jump, my eyes darting away in a hurry.

"Are there any eggs left?" He yelled, still scanning the fridge. I let out a breath of relief when I realized that was all he wanted, looking to Jackie then to see how she'd answer him. My eyes went wide when I seen all the mirth in hers, fear washing over me that she might have seen me checking out his ass. Upon seeing my reaction she burst out giggling and I nervously joined her, despite being completely unsure of what it was we were laughing at. Other than our laughter the room remained silent for another minute, Tyler likely observing the situation, before his loud sigh filled the room. "Trying to steal my friends again, Mom?"

"Yeah, she's doing a pretty good job too, between the hot chocolate and hilarious childhood stories about you." I quipped excitedly, without even giving it a second thought. She hadn't actually told me anything embarrassing, but I knew it'd drive Tyler crazy thinking she had. I turned quickly with a smile already on my face, thankful for it afterward seeing as I lost the ability to do much of anything at all when my eyes locked with his. I stayed lost like this for a few seconds later, before suddenly becoming aware of how long my eyes had been lingering and snapping my attention back to Jackie before I got carried away all over again.

"So, do you guys have any pets?" I asked, giving a big smile. It had been the first conversational topic to pop into my head but I actually was kind of curious. Tyler definitely seemed like the pet-type of person. She hurried to explain to me that their landlord had a 'no pets' policy, worried that they'd 'ruin his house'. She didn't hesitate to add all the reasons why the house was already ruined, giving me more insight into their money situation unknowingly. I don't think Tyler was even listening, though his eyes had stayed fixed on me indifferently the entire conversation.

 "We should probably get going, Troye boy." He said suddenly, the way he interrupted his mother mid-sentence making it clear he hadn't been listening at all. I jumped up eagerly all the same though, bounding over toward his side. He turned to leave before I got there though, heading out the door without another word to his mother. I noticed she was watching us leave and felt a little bad for her seeing as he hadn't apologized, immediately taking the responsibility onto my own shoulders.

"See ya, Jackie!" I beamed, giving her a small wave before following Tyler out the door. Now that we were out of her sight I was less shy, immediately speed-walking to catch up to Tyler. After only a second of us being at the same pace, he spoke up.

"How long have you been here?" 

"Twenty minutes-ish." I said cheerily, surprised when his reaction was a loud groan. I was even more surprised when I felt a pair of hands on my hips, shoving me. Did he not like me talking to Jackie or something? I leaned over to study his face, trying to get a grip on what he was thinking. He face was expressionless and I grunted in frustration, deciding to take matters into my own hands, literally. I took my hand and brushed it lightly against his, not surprised when he was too lost in thought to reply. I didn't feel the spark that normally accompanied thoughts so I tried again, cursing myself for how curious I was as I let our hands brush together as we walked yet again. This time I felt it, smiling happily to myself.

She knows everything about me, every embarrassing detail. Well, minus the whole at-school life thing, but Troye already knows about all that anyway.

So he was just worried about his mother embarrassing him? I smiled to myself, almost cocky at realizing how much my opinion mattered to him. I looked back to him now, worried when I seen him still looking slightly off. Without even thinking I jumped to say the first thing I thought of to cheer him up. "Hey, is someone getting jealous? I promise I like you better than your mother, Ty."

My mouth immediately snapped shut afterward, annoyed with both the words I said and the way I said them. I sounded so- flirty. I crinkled my nose up at myself, not impressed with my ability to keep it together around him. It hadn't even been a full twenty-four hours since realizing my feelings and I was already acting like some sort of seducer-wannabe around him. That was not okay. As much as I wanted that kind of relationship, I didn't want to compromise the one we had now in a thoughtless attempt to get it. If this was going to work, I had to be subtle and I had to take things slow, and even then there was a minimal chance of it working out. Of the endless stories about Tyler hooking up with people, never once had one been about a guy. Then again, he'd never actually dated a girl before either. And no one had ever really seen him hook-up with them either, from what I heard. It usually happened at parties where people were too drunk to know if the story was true or not the next day when Tyler presumably recited it to the school. Maybe he's just shy about PDA, or maybe he's only looking for fun and that's why he hasn't had a girlfriend, or maybe-

Or maybe he's a closeted gay.

It was stupid and it was unlikely, but it didn't stop a smile from spreading across my face as I looked toward him. I was a little surprised to find him already looking at me, though not unnerved by it. I dimmed my smile slightly, not wanting him to see how ridiculously excited for nothing I probably looked. I couldn't keep the act up for long though, my bigger smile threatening to break out any second. Instead I turned and directed my attention to starting the car, gnawing on my lip distractedly. I let out a silent breath of relief when he turned his head to look out the window, giving me a moment to myself to process the thought from earlier. 

I guess it wasn't that stupid, his seemingly non-existent romance life could be easily mistaken as a clue. I mean, he could have anyone in the school and yet he hasn't had a single relationship? Either this boy has some serious commitment issues or he's insanely picky. That wasn't even mentioning how flirty he had been toward me lately. I mean, I'd brushed it off as just his normal behaviour and that he acted like that with absolutely anyone, but what if he didn't? I wasn't around him and other people enough to know how he normally acted, so I couldn't really say that. Suddenly I found my heart racing in my chest, something that had started happening a lot since I started hanging around Tyler Oakley. What if it did mean something? When he called me babe or all of those sappy compliments from the phone last night? 

I felt like I was on cloud nine as I drove down the road, somehow managing to keep my eyes on the road and my mind up in the clouds at the same time. 

"Why are you so happy? Did you forget where we're going? School is hardly something to get excited over." I was a little surprised by Tyler speaking up all of the sudden, though I didn't let that show as I thought over my response. I smiled to myself as I imagined how horribly awkward this situation would be right now if I told him exactly what was on my mind. Instead I ended up just shrugging my shoulders and using an excuse, knowing that was a much safer route.

"Do I need to have a reason? I guess I just woke up on the right side of the bed today." I laughed, knowing that was actually partially true. I'd been this insanely happy since I woke up, but it had a lot more to do with the boy sitting next to me than what side of the furniture I woke up on.

"Or maybe it had something to do with falling asleep to the sound of my voice." He purred smoothly, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up at the tone he used. I gave myself a couple seconds to calm down before flickering my eyes to him questioningly. He was staring out his window though, making it hard to figure out what he'd meant by the words. I just wanted him to face me so I could read his expression, but that didn't seem to be happening any time soon. I eventually realized I had absolutely no patience to wait for him to look at me, instead deciding to find my own way to earn his attention. 

"Doubt it." I giggled teasingly, watching him break his eyes away from the window to mine. They only locked for a second before he broke the contact to roll them, crossing his arms and trying to act hurt over my comment. His face held no emotions other than those fake ones though, making me sigh in defeat. I guess I should have tried to read his mind if it mattered so much to me. I parked the car a second later, a little confused when he immediately jumped out of the car. My temporary confusion vanished when I watched him bend over, evaluating the condition of his car to make sure nothing had happened to it. I doubted anyone would touch Tyler Oakley's car, but I wasn't about to voice that opinion out loud. Instead I slid out of the car myself, trotting over to where he had his face pressed up against the glass window. I gave him a few seconds longer before the boredom began to eat away with me, paired with the fact we were wasting our time alone together. It was only a matter of minutes before the buses pulled into the parking lot and we were surrounded by peers all over again, forced to sweep our friendship under the rug. Without thinking I reached out and grabbed his arm, wrapping my long fingers around it gracefully and tugging him off in the direction of the school. I was vaguely aware of the fact he complained about it, but I didn't care enough to let him go.

Math class seemed to fly by in a whir of teasing and actually getting work done for once. I'd never been able to get work done in class before. Then again, I'd never had help either and was always too shy to ask teachers for it. I'd ended up with homework nearly every night of the school year, hauling it home so Steele or Mom could help me with it. I had to admit, the concept of not having homework to worry about when I got home was really beginning to grow on me. I only really used the spare time for Tumblr and watching television, but it was still nice to have on the odd chance someone ever invited me out. And by that I mean, if Tyler ever invited me out, let's be real here.

When the bell finally rang to alert us that class had ended I realized what a mess I'd manage to make of my folders. I had the annoying mindset where I always needed folders to be completely clean and organized, no doodles on papers, file separators, page protectors, the whole thing. I never really understood it, especially considering my room could look like a hurricane had just rolled through and it wouldn't get on my nerves in the slightest. I smiled happily after I'd finished, knowing the rest of the room had likely already cleared out. I stood up with my stuff in my arms, freezing when I realized someone was standing next to me. It took me a matter of milliseconds to realize it was Tyler, waiting for me. I felt my heart flutter yet again at the simple caring gesture, immediately covering it up with a big smile and heading toward the door.

It wasn't until we were both standing in the hallway, surrounded by people rushing about to get to their next class, that I realized how stupid him waiting for me actually was. Of course I still appreciated it, it was hella considerate and cute, but there was no denying the stupidity. Caspar could walk by any second, and then our little facade of 'enemies' would be pretty hard to explain. I sighed, deciding it was no use worrying about it now, while we were already in the situation. I'd be better off just hurrying the goodbye along so neither of us ended up getting hurt.

"I, uh, I should probably get to my next class." I said awkwardly, worried for how he'd react. I had a feeling this wasn't exactly the goodbye he'd been hoping for, but he couldn't expect me to pull him in for a hug or something in front of all these people. Imagine the thoughts I'd hear, people planning out what kind of rumors they were going to stem from it. He laughed in response, though it didn't sound like his usual laugh at all. It was strained and forced, making me feel even worse about the emotionless goodbye.

"Yeah, definitely. I'll text you." He said in a rush, his voice the quietest I'd ever heard it. I was both curious and worried about him, but I'd also memorized the routes Caspar liked to take around school long ago out of fear, and this was one of the more likely hallways. Sure, most people were in class by now, but he was always late anyway. He could come straggling along any second now, the fact we were almost completely alone in the hallway now making it even more suspicious. I just nodded in a response, my lips in a tight line as I reluctantly turned to leave. The second I lifted my foot to take a step I froze, a pair of arms flying around my torso and pulling me backward. I stumbled backward a bit, further into his embrace. The first few seconds were torture as my eyes nervously flitted around the hall to make sure no one was watching, but then I felt his face nuzzle between my shoulder blades, and I found myself subconsciously relaxing into the hug just a little bit more. I forced my eyes closed to keep from letting my mind wander to absolutely anything else, instead focusing solely on what it felt like to have him so close. I could feel his breath through my t-shirt, hot little bursts of air that sent welcome shivers down my spine. He'd also knotted his fingers into the front of my shirt, though I doubted he even noticed. He seemed to be pretty far gone, not even reacting to himself when an elated hum escaped his lips. I didn't dare budge, completely unsure of the situation. I wasn't expecting it at all when a sudden thought pierced into my mind.

I wish I could just stay like this forever.

Forever? My eyes snapped back open, my breathing picking up to an unsettling pace as I tried to make sense of the thought. There were lots of reasons he could have thought that, right? Maybe he just really liked hugging people, maybe he was like addicted to it- I paused my train of thought as he hurriedly removed his arms, putting a full step between us hastily and making it clear he hadn't even meant to hug me to begin with. That only made things worse, the realization dawning on me that he hadn't been able to resist hugging me, considering he regretted it afterward. Fuck, I was either over-thinking this really badly, or- 

Or Tyler Oakley likes me. 

You don't think things like that during friendly hugs, do you? I mean, it's not like I'm very experienced in friendly hugs either, but I'm pretty sure that isn't a friendly hug thing, you know? I sighed breathlessly, overwhelmed with all the thoughts bouncing around in my head all of the sudden and frustrated my questions didn't have straight-up answers. Besides, what if he did like me? Obviously it wouldn't be some romantic movie moment where we both confess and everything works out perfectly. He had a homophobic reputation and I had a- well, I didn't even have a reputation. I wasn't even sure what his plans for after school were, and I wasn't interested in a relationship if it wasn't for the long-term. Come to think of it, since when was I interested in a relationship of at all? I shouldn't be, it'd only end badly. People kept secrets in relationships for a reason, it was quite possibly the only thing that made them work. Say what you want, but no one could love someone completely unconditionally. If you knew what they were really thinking all the time, you'd get very tired of them very fast. You'd know when they checked another person out, or what they really thought of your gifts you buy them, how much they actually liked your mother, their honest opinion on your outfits. It all seemed like simple stuff, but it'd add up to be a lot if they were constantly disappointing you.

I wasn't even sure what to feel, but I knew Tyler was expecting some kind of follow-up reaction from me. I wanted to give him one, I really did, but suddenly I felt unbearably sad. I guess that was a side-effect of listing every possible reason you could never find love or something. He'd realize how I was feeling in a minute if he saw my face, something I both loved and hated about him. So, at the time, the logical thing to do was just walk away without looking back. Good idea, am I right? No, I'm not. I knew that even as I walked down the hallway and could literally feel his eyes boring into the back of my head needily, but yet I still didn't turn around.

Now, sitting on my bed staring at my phone with a lost feeling, I really regretted not giving him a proper goodbye. It was like the day had been put on fast forward after that short interaction, classes and lunch hour flying by at an insane speed. I was thankful for it though, I don't know if I could have handled classes dragging on with my thoughts so muddled. But now, that I was home alone with absolutely nothing and no one to distract me, it was like the fates had taken their revenge and put time on slow-motion. All I could do was think, and it fucking sucked. At first it had been useless lovesick jabber about Tyler, moving on to more dark stuff about how my feelings for him would ultimately prove pointless, and now it had somehow ended up on trying to make a 'plan' of what move to make next. It sounded a lot more intelligent than it really was, really all I was doing was repeatedly asking myself if I should go along with my feelings or try and erase them from my mind.

I didn't find my conclusion easily. Minutes turned into hours, my family came home, and the sun had set, and I still didn't know what to do. I definitely knew I was over-thinking it all now, but how could I not? Whether it was or not, this felt like one of the most significant decisions I'd ever had to make. I mean, it's not like my life had involved that many decisions before this. My family were just heading up to bed now and I was both thankful and annoyed that I'd hear nothing but silence in the house again. I waited patiently for the sound of footsteps to die down, though they only got louder. I realized whoever it was was walking towards my door just seconds before they opened it. The door swung open to reveal a tired looking Steele, my eyebrows immediately raising inquisitively as he sauntered over to my bed. He sat down politely on the very edge, giving me lots of space to stay sprawled out like I had been when he walked in. We sat in silence for a few seconds longer, my eyes staring at the side of his head pointedly. Eventually he sighed loudly and turned to me with a weak smile, holding up his phone. I raised an eyebrow, sitting up to look at the screen. There was a photo of a girl on the screen. She was pretty, blonde hair drawn up into a ponytail and bright green eyes. I looked up at him with a confused expression, relaxing slightly when he chuckled in response.

"This is Amy, my girlfriend. I feel like I should probably tell you before she shows up here for dinner tomorrow." He laughed then, sounding almost nervous. I smiled happily, taking a bit more time to actually study her features. She looked nice enough.

"What about the rest of the family, aren't you going to tell them?" I asked, looking up at him confused. Why had I been the only one he told?

"Oh, no, I told them forever ago, we've been dating for ten months now." He explained cheerily, tucking the phone back into his pocket. Obviously he hadn't meant anything by it, but his words actually hurt me a lot. He'd told them 'forever ago' and was just getting around to telling me? Of course I'd had my suspicions I wasn't anyone's favorite sibling, but this was a little too blunt for me.

"Oh, wow, thanks, glad to know I'm such a priority." I mumbled sarcastically, sinking back down into a laying position. He seemed confused by my words for a moment, creasing his eyebrows together in thought. A figurative lightbulb went off and his eyes went wide, his mouth immediately opening to stutter an explanation.

"No, Troye! The only reason I didn't tell you sooner was because you never showed even a smidget of interest in knowing. I love you, bro, but you're kind of wrapped up in your own world most of the time. Not that I have a problem with that! I've just kind of learned to go along with it, you know? If you don't care, then why tell you?" He explained, playing with his hands nervously as he stared down at the floorboards. I bit my lip, staring at his nervous expression. I don't think I can remember another time when I'd seen Steele nervous, he was just that, steel. He never got upset or emotional, he was like a big rock that no one could mess with. I, on the other hand, was the measly thing who was ruled by his own emotions ninety-percent of the time. Like now, I felt unbearably guilty. How was I supposed to know he felt like this? He'd never shown it. I didn't think he even cared about me caring.

"I do care." I said quickly, earning an interested sideways glance from him. I took a deep breath before adding my next words. "I'm just very bad at showing it."

"Well, at least you can admit to it." He said, his mood obviously slightly brighter. Silence followed that, but only for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and spoke up all over again. "Anyway, she's going to be arriving on the train in the city tomorrow at noon. I've convinced the entire family to come with me in the mini-van to go get her and show her around. I just wanted to let you know so you can kind of coordinate that with when Tyler comes over."

"Coordinate?" I asked dumbly, blinking as I stared over at him. He chuckled awkwardly then, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, you do want to be alone with him for at least some of the time, don't you?" At first I thought this was just general brotherly niceness, before noticing the unfamiliar tint to his cheeks and realizing exactly how he thought I was going to utilize said 'alone time'.

"Ew, Steele! We are just friends right now!" I shouted, groaning in exasperation as I shoved my face into the pillows. Sometimes I had to wonder what it was like to have a normal family that were wary of the love interests you brought home, instead of practically shoving you at them and just saying 'be safe'.

"Right now, yes, but I've been eighteen before, Troye, things can change fast when you're-"

"Out of my room right now, I don't even want to hear the ending of that sentence." I growled into the pillow, earning a genuine laugh from him.

"Fair enough, I didn't really want to say it either." He was still laughing slightly when I felt the bed shift, an obvious result of him getting to his feet. That was followed by footsteps, and eventually the creak of my door closing. It didn't shut though, and I perked my ears knowing he was about tos ay something else. "I'm excited to meet him, by the way, he sounds pretty cool."

"He likes to think he is anyway." I scoffed, wondering if Steele would still think that after meeting him. He just chuckled once more before the sound of the door clicking into the frame told me he'd officially left. I slowly sat back up then, rubbing my eyes sleepily before yawning. Steele was right though, I was definitely appreciative of the gained alone time, but not for the reasons he thought, obviously. I grabbed my phone and wandered toward the bathroom, knowing it was either shower now or get up relatively early on a Saturday and shower before Tyler got here. That was simply not an option. I hope he's not mad at me for just walking off earlier, it was a pretty assholish thing to do, looking back. I paused by the sink and hurriedly typed in a quick text for him, leaving it setting there as I stripped my shirt over my head. I wandered over to the shower then, fumbling with the temperature with one hand while wrestling with the button on my jeans with the other. I somehow managed to figure out both, just as a loud ringtone filled the room. I smiled to myself, considering I was almost expecting this reaction. I hurried over to the counter, picking it up promptly.

"What's your excuse for calling me this time, Oakley?" I asked quietly, a smirk on my lips. I hadn't actually expected these phone calls to become a nightly thing, but it was definitely beginning to look like they were.

"Hmm... I was calling to let you know I got your text?" His voice sounded so unsure it was obviously a made-up excuse, making me chuckle lightly. On the inside this actually caused me to worry the slightest bit, my subconscious adding it to the list of reasons to suspect he liked me. I mean, why else would he call without any good reason only to make an adorable spluttering idiot of himself?

"Could you not have just replied to the text to inform me of that?" I asked, knowing the answer was damn well 'yes'. He didn't give in immediately, but it wasn't like I'd expected him too. A few more seconds passed before he spoke up again, mumbling into the speaker.

"Yeah, I guess." I giggled at this, actually kind of glad he wasn't ashamed to admit it. I held the phone to my ear with my shoulder then, using both hands to slip out of my last remaining clothing article.

"Look, can I call you back later? The only reason I didn't call you in the first place was because I'm literally just about to get into the shower."

"Oh, uh, yeah, that's fine." My eyebrows both raised at the stuttering mess of a response I got, my smile fading as I went over all the possible reasons behind this. Surely best friends don't get flustered over the thought of their friend getting into the shower, do they? Of course there was still that voice in the back of my mind that felt it necessary to repeatedly tell me 'Tyler Oakley is way out of your league, he would never like you', but it was beginning to seem less and less true the more unintentional hints he seemed to be dropping me. Or maybe they were intentional, maybe he wanted me to know how he felt. I was so confused at this point I just snickered in response, deciding to act like I hadn't noticed how strange his response had been for the most part.

"I'll call you later, don't fall asleep on me." I said, my tone a bit more confident than usual. 

"Of course not, I'll be staring at the screen until your name lights it up again." I turned my nose up at his mushiness, rolling my eyes despite the fact he'd never be able to even tell I had.

"Bye, Ty." I said finally, my voice a lot quieter now. I didn't give him a chance to reply though, knowing the water had already been running for a while and Mom would surely bring up my 'long showers' again if I let it go on for much longer. I ended the call and practically threw myself into the shower, my thoughts even more of a mess now than they had been before. I was hoping the water would release some of the tension in my joints and my mind, completely done with all these guessing games and mixed emotions despite it only being one full day of them. After about a minute I gave up on that wish though, instead just embracing it and letting my head run rampid with all the questions I'd been trying to hold at bay. Oh well, maybe their answers would come to me with time.

A/n: HEY HEY HEY HILLO WHATS UP NOTHING MUCH NOTHING GOING ON HERE.ON HJGMF,FBHVDJFNM.  Ugh, okay, so I WAS going to include the smut dream at the end of this chapter but yanno, I didn't, I also didn't write their Saturday, just a lot of recap. Sorry sweethearts, but it's making the story longer. I've come to a conclusion about the smut though, next chapter will be called 23.5 or whatever and will be solely for the dream, so anyone not into smut or not into the dream idea can easily skip it. Clever, I know. I'll do like a lil recap note at the beginning of chapter twenty-four, not describing the smut, but explaining troye's outlook on it kinda? yah? Idk, it's hard to explain, but whatever, I'm rambling at this point. Sorry, COMMENT and VOTE and once again, you can thank @Gurlyouafiiiineapple for this being early. You people should basically love her at this point (but not too much, she's MY wife). Worship her existence, yadda yadda yadda
This CHAPTER, however, is dedicated to @xSillyTilly and her amazing fanfiction. Ugh, Troye is like a demon and he's all scary but also in love with Tyler, yanno? YANNO? It's hard to describe but it's basically iconic and you haven't lived until you've read it. I'm barely coping waiting for the next update, so go show her some love for slaughtering my emotions and my life, okbye

(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek i love capybaras)