*Troye's POV*

"Mom says you have five minutes to get out of bed or you're not getting breakfast. They're Nutella pancakes." Sage sung the last sentence, dancing around my room annoyingly. I grumbled under my breath, fumbling around until I found a throw pillow I wasn't using, and chucked it at her. 

"Mom! Troye's throwing things at me!" She screamed, running off to go tell on me. I just rolled my eyes, rubbing them as I sat up. I felt the blankets fall onto my lap and shivered at the cool September air. 

It is way too early to be awake.

That is the only thought that ran through my mind as I got up and stumbled toward my bathroom. This was one of those mornings I was very glad we each had our own bathrooms, because I was not in the mood for interacting with humans, much less fighting over bathroom privileges. I glanced in the mirror, physically cringing at the sight before me. I looked like I'd gotten into a scuff with a transfer truck, but that wasn't entirely unusual for morning Troye. Aside from being a freak of nature, I also pride myself in having horrid nightmares every single night. Yeah, I know, I'm a piece of work. 

I practically throw myself into the shower, relishing in the feeling of the hot water on my back. This was exactly what I needed. I still wanted to murder everyone I encountered, but at least I'd look and feel good while doing so. I grabbed the shampoo, using the bottle as a microphone like always. I loved singing more than anything else, it was just such a stress-reliever and mood-lifter. That said, I never sang anywhere but the shower. Do you have any idea how nerve-wracking it is to know exactly what people think about your voice? It matters too much to me to hear negative opinions. I don't think I could take it. Even around my family I'm cautious. Sure, they'd say out loud I was good, but that was just an implied thing family did. Would their true opinions match up to it? I didn't know, but I was too much of a wimp to risk finding out. 

"Troye! Your food is getting cold!" I heard Sage screech from the hallway, pounding against the wall like some kind of animal. For how much she liked to be thought of as lady-like, she did an awful bad job acting it. I rinsed the last of the conditioner out, whimpering when I inevitably got some in my eyes.

"Fuck." I groaned, tripping over the side of the tub as I got out. Thankfully I caught my footing before I face-planted, by grabbing onto the sink. I rubbed my eyes until it was safe to open them again, staring blankly at the man standing in the mirror. 

"Troye!" She was screaming now and I had to wonder why she didn't just give up. Didn't she know by now I wasn't going to make it to school on time? I purposely took extra time every morning actually, for the sole purpose of missing the bus. My mother suspected it was on purpose, constantly lecturing me about what an unnecessary waste of money it was to drive myself everyday. What she didn't know, was that it was completely necessary. Do you know how crowded it is on a bus? How many times people brush against you? It was one thing having one person close enough to intrude my mind, but having that many in an enclosed space was overwhelming. It wasn't just one odd thought, it was all of them, bouncing around the metal walls like some sort of shaken can of monkeys. Some people didn't like crowds so they avoided them, I genuinely couldn't handle crowds of any type, so I avoided them. 

I'd come up with a lot of simple strategies to make sure I did too. I arrived to all my classes early to avoid hallway traffic, went to the small convenience store to avoid crazed shoppers, and never ever left the house during holiday season. It was insane basically anywhere around the time of year. People just didn't want to be locked up in the house with all that Christmas joy flying around I guess. Christmas time in general was far from a joyous time from me. I cringed, remembering the last time I'd actually done anything other than leave my room near December 25th. Wow, it'd be ten years this year. Ten years since I realized I wasn't normal. Ten years since I hid away from the world. Ten years since I lost the only friend I've ever really had.

What an anniversary! 

I groaned, finishing up towel-drying my hair. My mom had forced me to get it cut for school and I hated it. My ears stood out awkwardly and my cheek bones were way too angular. I looked like a sour little elf. So, in a desperate attempt to make up for that, I worked extra hard on my quiff game, making sure not a single strand was out of place before leaving the bathroom. My usually neat room was a war zone, clothes strewn across every surface and the garbage off of multiple school supplies mixed in with them. God, how I hate the first day of school, I guess it was a good thing this was the last one I'd ever have to deal with. 

"Troye Sivan Mellet! If you don't get out here right now I am forcing you to have friends over this weekend!" My eyes went wide and I chucked on the first clothes I spotted, swinging open the door. 

"Yes, Dad?" He burst into a fit of laughter and it slowly dawned on me that he'd only been kidding. Asshole. I suppose it made sense though, he knew I had no friends to invite anyway. He seemed to get a kick out of how I was my sibling's polar opposite. He probably wouldn't if he knew why. 

"Your mother is freaking out down there because she doesn't want you to miss the bus. Stop stressing her out and just go get on the stupid thing. I know it's not good for your 'cool' reputation, but do it for her sake." I looked down to the floor guiltily, wishing I could be normal and just give her what she wanted. 

"I, uh, I'll try. I still have a lot of book sorting I have to do." He raised a single skeptical eyebrow, eyeing the perfectly organized books sitting on my bed. They were the only organized thing in the room, and pretty hard to miss. He didn't question me any further though, just descending back down the stairs with a blank expression. 

I turned back to the mess of my room, groaning outwardly. Why was I even trying so hard? I had told myself a thousand times the familiar mantra that I had no one to impress. I should just be wearing the most comfortable things I own and heading out the door. Sure, people were going to talk about it, think about it, but they were going to regardless. 

Despite that inner struggle, I ended up wearing uncomfortable tight black skinny jeans and a maroon shirt that clung to my chest in a weird angle. Not comfortable at all, but at least they looked good. Well, I thought they looked good, but I was certain to be proved wrong the second I got a glimpse into someone else's thoughts. I snatched my bag up and tumbled down to the kitchen, practically charging into one of the chairs at the table.

"The bus is going to be here in three minutes, Troye Sivan. What's your excuse this time?" My mother asked, turning away from the stove and carrying a plate over. She must have made me a new batch considering how they were piping hot. I smiled in success, turning my head up to purse my lips at her. She rolled her eyes, but she did bend down to press her cheek to my lips.

"I broke both my legs in the shower?" I offered sarcastically, enjoying the annoyed scoff I earned from the entire table. I turned, locking eyes with Sage. She looked a lot angrier than she should be with me just for running late, but I guess she was jealous I got special treatment when she didn't. She could be a bit of a jealous brat when she wanted to.

"Tomorrow, you are going to catch that bus and stop wasting our money. Understood?" My mother said flatly, slamming some money down on the table by my plate. I smiled appreciatively, nodding between mouthfuls of food. 

"Yeah, definitely." It was so much easier to say you were going to change something than to actually do it. She knew this too, but she also knew from experience it was a winner-less battle to attempt lecturing me any further. The argument would just get increasingly heated on both sides until I ended up refusing to go to school all-together, slumping back to my room and locking the door. I didn't doubt this would end up happening again by the end of the month though. History had a way of repeating itself, especially when you were trying to get me to change my ways.

I watched as my two younger siblings filed out of the room. Mom tried to hug both of them, but only Tyde would put up with it. Sage was much too busy texting one of her many interesting friends, probably talking about how they were going to blow the competition out of the water. Again with the teenagers viewing everyone else as competition! As much as I loved her, I really didn't like her sometimes. She was everything I hated about teenagers. I knew for a fact if we weren't siblings she'd be one of the people referring to me as 'that weird kid' or 'that mute'. I wasn't actually a mute, I just had a thing with sharing my opinions: I didn't do it. It's not like they mattered anyway, and the last thing I wanted was to draw any unnecessary attention to myself. 

"Bye! Have a good first day!" I heard Mom yelling from the front door, a smile spreading across my face. Even now, when we were all teenagers, she still acted like she was sending us out into the world for the first time. I watched as Steele and Dad wandered into the room, deep in a conversation about football. Gross.

"So, Troye, trying out for any sports this year?" I snorted, milk nearly flying out of my nose. They both gave me matching disapproving frowns, but they'd asked for it. They very thought of me playing sports was laughable. Even without the whole mind-reading jazz it'd never happen in a million years. I was scrawny and slow, hated sweaty and dirty things, and was so lazy I had trouble walking around school, let alone running around the field. No, I'd leave that to the muscular popular guys. 

"You really should start trying new things, Troye. Who knows, you might find something you really like!" My mother had apparently came back into the room at some point and was now leaning over my shoulder irritably. I shot her a glare and she backed off, giving me a bit more space.

"Or someone you really like." Steele added, the corners of his mouth turning up into a wicked smirk. I gave him the most hateful face I could manage before getting up to go drop my dish in the dishwasher. "Well, really Troye. Tyde has gotten more action than you and he still sleeps with a teddy bear." 

"This is none of your business, at all. I am perfectly fine being single. Believe it or not, there are people that don't need the social aspect of life to be happy." I snapped, spinning around to face him. I leaned back against the counter, careful to make sure there wasn't any flour on it this time. Last night when I was getting changed I'd noticed my entire butt was covered in white from sitting on the counter, a very embarrassing realization.

Everyone stayed silent for a moment, nobody daring to look me in the eye. Exactly, nothing else to say now, huh?

"Sure, but are you happy?" My eyes flickered to meet Steele's, my body tensing up at his harsh glare. His name was very fitting at times like this, when his expression was as hard as steel. He was probably the furthest from being like me, so it made sense he didn't understand. He'd been the most popular kid in school during highschool, while somehow still managing to stay grounded and not throw his life away. Now, he was in a great college and in a few years it was pretty much guaranteed he'd have a great job. He was so sure of himself, so fearless, and I envied him for that every day. What I would give to be like him.

"I need to get going, you're gonna make me late for my first day." I said finally, my voice just a shell of how strong it had been a moment ago. They all shared matching expressions, almost like they felt bad for me. I grabbed my bag back up, slinging it over a single shoulder and casting them a final smile.

"Wish me luck!" I shouted, raising my voice to sound a lot more cheerful than I felt for their sake. They all just nodded goodbyes silently though, obviously still a little put-off by our conversation. I started toward the door, freezing in my spot when I felt a familiar shiver run through my body.

I'm so worried about him! I wish he'd talk to me more, be more open. I bet he gets bullied at school, it'd explain how he avoids the bus. God, I hope he's okay.

I shook my head, biting my lip feverishly for a second. It only took a second of debate before running back and wrapping my arms around my mother.

"I'm going to be fine, stop worrying about me." I said, hugging her tightly. She let out a happy sigh, smiling up at me.

"Have fun, and try to make some friends." She said levelly, fixing my shirt where it had rode up. I rolled my eyes, shoving her hands away gently. 

"We'll see, Mom." I said, messing up her hair annoyingly before dodging her hand and running out of the room. I bound out to my car, slipping in slowly. I sat there for a moment thinking over my mother's words. I hadn't tried to make a friend since the first year of high school. It wasn't exactly a whole-hearted attempt even then. I got stuck with the girl for some crappy project and she was slightly more tolerable than the rest of my peers. Her thoughts weren't hurtful, just insanely boring, similar to her personality. I thought that maybe she was too smart for judging, beyond that. As it turns out, she was only talking to me because she wanted a date to prom and everyone else had rejected her. That was a friendship breaker, obviously. I didn't like being the last choice, especially not to some girl who cared more about integers than food.

Friends. They'd become a foreign concept to me. Part of me wanted to say something cheery like 'maybe this year will be different' or 'you shouldn't have such high standards, beggars can't be choosers'. But I couldn't. I'd told myself those things so many times in the past, and they just weren't true. The years never got better, in fact, they had only been getting worse considering everyone got even more judgmental in their late teenage years. And as for high standards, I didn't even really have them. All I wanted was one genuine person. Someone who wasn't in it to be the best out of the competition, only the best they could be. Someone who actually cared what others felt, and could even relate to them. I wanted just one honest person, then I'd be set for life. But I'd been searching for eighteen years, and I hadn't encountered one yet. My hopes had faded considerably over the years, to the point I thought I had just about as much chance of finding a unicorn, but that didn't stop me from dreaming.

A/n: Ey. Ey. Ey. Once again, these first few chapters are filler and getting the setting etc set up so don't bitch to me about them being boring, I can't help that. If you even find them boring, if not you slay, thanks for not being a douche canoe. Okay, COMMENT and VOTE, let me know how you guys are liking it so far! 

Also, I know I've already dedicated every chapter to someone but I have so many stories to promote. Alright, kiddies, today's story is called "Denial" by Saaachie. It's a highschool Au and Tyler is SUPER sassy and flamboyant and Troye is outwardly homophobic. Except Troye comes up to Tyler and tries to make friends with him, sooo... What's that about? It's just starting out and supe supe good, go check it out, you will not regret :) <3