Prepare for the spam.

First of we have ugly sketches:

I wanted to show DanielleWharrie how I draw hoodies, especially the hood part but honestly, those who've seen the full stream know that I draw the hood exactly like you see it right now. there are no in between steps or like shapes to help me. I just draw it like I feel it should be. But drawing many folds in a hood around the  shoulders and where it conects to the shirt is never wrong, it that helps. Just think where folds/creaves/whatever would be most likely to apper. in the areas where much fabric is stuffed together so you can move better in it, aka the joint areas. And also around the stomach area if you don't push your chest out, normally.

And a 6 minute sketch of EJ:

And a drawing of Mettaton (apparently a character from the game undertale? I dunno, I never played it nor did I see any gameplay of it becasue I'm simply not interested in it)

(pose is 100% referenced but I drew with my own style so that's something?)

Next up, sketches of Freak:

Sorry, not sorry.

Credit for that idea goes to TheAmazingCoolCat
(thanks for dropping the quality about 60%, wattpad)

Not done in any stream but I don't think I ever posted it and.... it looks weird. WHY THE FUCK DID I FORGET TO PUT THE DATE?! I DUNNO WHEN THIS WAS DONE. But I seemingly used the same sketch as Fartstar, so around that time is my guess.

Next up, anime sketches! (Also, OF COURSE THESE ARE COPIED AS EXACTLY AS I COULD FROM THE ORIGINAL PICS SO IF YOU READ THE LAST CHAPTER, BE SURE THAT I'LL HIT YOU IF YOU SAY THAT THIESE ARE BETTER THAN MY ORIGINAL PIECES. THANKS.)

Gotta love Hughes. Also, if you were in the stream: #Huges because I can't write names XD
Also... the eyebrows... *annoyed eye twitch*

Btw, I wasn't joking when I said that I don't want to draw Kakashi anymore. It's always the same. And I can't do it like in the references so I'm sick of it because even after at least ten times of drawing the exact same face with the exact same expression and exact same hair style, I didn't improve one bit. Too frustrated.

I stared at the reference 70% of the time XD

Next up, drawings for ERRORTrash!!!

It's ERROR's species, Flicker Dragons! (Please tell me I wrote the name correctly)
I suck at paws/claws/whateveryoucallit
I got it a little wrong, it's not chubby enough and the legs are a little too long.
Also, this is a plain version.

ERROR's OC, Bloody. Mixture of wolf, snake and other things I forgot XD
Still can't draw females or blood ;v;

Crappy side view of her OC, Raidi

This one is my own little flicker dragon.
I luv it ;v;
It's cute, in my opinion at least.
This one's anatomy is closer to the actual size and structure of a flicker dragon, as I was told.
Didn't get to finish it tho and probably never really will ;-;

And lastly, a contest entry for ARC_Trooper_Fives

Take it or leave it. I honestly don't care anymore at this point.
I won't line it because frankly, I don't enjoy it at all.

Fuck everyone who tells me that my art would look SOOOOO MUCH better if lined. I really don't fucking care. Think what you want of me and my art. I hate it. I hate my art and everything that it is about. I hate Freak (yeah. No kidding, I can't stand him. he's not what I wanted him to be. I wanted him to be an outsider, I wanted him weird and unfriendly. I never wanted anyone to think he was cool. I wanted that he could just live the way I can't because I'm too scared. I wanted him to be able to be okay with being alone and not having to rely on others, but it didn't work out and now he's just some character I draw doing random things, other crying or in disbelieve I hate it that I screwed Freak up), and my other OCs (Let's be honest, they're shit). I hate myself. I hate it when people tell me that I need to change things about my drawings. I hate it when people tell me to edit my old artworks. That's never going to happen. I've already burned so much of my art, I won't ruin the good memories I have with the small rest of my old art. Make fun of it if you want, I don't care. I loved my old art at some point so it'll always be better than my newer art. Always. Because I barely have any good memories with what I'm doing right now. I urge you to laugh at my old art, because I love it when people laugh because of me and the things I do or did, but I like my old art, believe it or not, maybe because of the nostalgia. I don't enjoy drawing anymore. like, not at all. Maybe I never did. Maybe I just loved the reactions I got. The laughs and the smiles. It doesn't matter if you tell me now that you like my art. like, it doesn't matter at all. Because if I'm honest with myself, I don't care if people like my art, or if they find it hilarious. As long as they smile or laugh or have any kind of positive reaction, I don't care.
At this point, I realised that I'm only drawing to try and get this feeling of happiness again. It made me happy when I got people to smile or laugh. I never cared much for words. They don't tell me much and yet I always make a big deal of something because I use too many words.
Frankly, seeing smiles and getting told "that's awesome!", is not the same. and it makes me lose my motivation or whatever it was that made me want to draw. it's the same with swimming and taking guitar lessons. people wouldn't smile at me when I swam. They'd only scream at me to go faster and no matter how much effort I put into it, I never got smiles. And when my parents stopped taking time to hear me play the guitar, I suddenly didn't want to play it anymore, because I couldn't make them smile anymore. it's really weird. I don't think I have the right to stop just yet. Still, I feel like nothing I do has any use. I really wish I could see if you're smiling when you see my art. I wish I knew...
I wish I knew how people react. I wish I wasn't such a crybaby, too. There are things I can never change though, no matter how much I want to.

Eh sorry, I didn't mean for this to turn into ...this.
I'm just sick of the way I am.

Let's look at the bright side of things:
I'm pretty much free of bullying at the moment. one of my bullies even offered to HELP me with getting me chair up on the table because I had problems doing so with my wrist (It's weird but if you're the last class in a room for that day, you have to put the chairs on the tables to the cleaning staff can easily swipe the floor. Is our school the only one that does that??)
I was bafffled, like, they already kinda had stopped with really bullying me at the beginning of this school year but I still felt the glares on my back. Maybe he only was nice too me though because I explain maths to him every day. Well, I'm trying to believe it's because he's accepted me.

Also, I'm slowly letting my weirdness seep into the conversations I have at school, and I think I'm completely losing all of my kinda friends that I've made there. I think I'm freaking them out but I can't stand myself anymore at this point. I wanna be more like myself, or at least I'm trying to, and it gets them to laugh at me. I don't mind it. I'm happy they have something to laugh about. I don't wanna act upon everyone's wishes anymore. I don't wanna have to hide anymore. So I'm trying to change my behaviour. From the shy random that always stands in the corner, listening to others conversations to the loud (very loud), (Supercalifragilisticexpialidociously) weird, often crying, sometimes unfriendly bitch I am. I slowly start to think I'm even too weird for Angel. I dunno, I'll have to see. She doesn't know ALL of my weirdness yet and it actually scares me that there's a possibility that's I'm just too weird for her to keep me around. ON the other side, she's already stuck to me even though I've don't pretty weird shit so...

Also, I'm apparently allergic to the ointmentthat's supposed to heal my wrist. Ain't that great? Yeah, I know. Let's all have a good laugh at that coincidence, aye? :D
Please? ^w^