tw: mentions of suicide attempt and blood

⛓️

Seonghwa stared at the sky as he took a sip from the straw of his salted caramel mocha, noticing the gradually setting sun and how dark it was starting to appear around here. Mingi sat across from him at the Starbucks' patio, the amber lights surrounding them and a few other customers setting a warm, friendly atmosphere that Seonghwa greatly enjoyed and appreciated.

He also appreciated the company Mingi provided him, mostly because he'd been feeling a little iffy all day at school earlier, so much so that even Hongjoong's presence couldn't get rid of the restlessness he'd felt. Also, the last thing Seonghwa wanted was to finish his classes and head back to his empty house, that feeling of loneliness and unease threatening to eat him up, so Mingi's last-minute suggestion to hang out at Starbucks and spend some time together was something Seonghwa had agreed with right away.

"So Mr Lee had instructed us last week to write a music essay on one of our favourite songs, right," Mingi was currently retelling the events that'd happened during one of his classes, "so I decided to write one on NCT 127's Punch since it's a pretty interesting acid trip of a song, you know that."

Seonghwa took another sip, chuckling a little. "Right."

"So I handed in the essay, and today he handed it back and said, and I quote 'Your essay was well written and thought-out, but I had to give you a B-minus because it's Kpop, not real music'. Like, what the hell?" Mingi finished, his eyebrows knitted and a look of discontentment plastered on his face.

Seonghwa laughed. "Okay, what? Isn't he the same guy who accepted that mostly Kpop mashup you'd submitted to him two weeks ago?"

"Yes!" Mingi quickly nodded, shifting closer as if he was about to let Seonghwa in on a little secret, his iced cappuccino all forgotten about. "That's what's messing with my mind. It's like, he turned into a completely different person. Get this, he even wears khakis now instead of his cool-ass leather jackets and jeans. What the fuck."

Seonghwa couldn't help but snigger at Mingi's over-the-top statement. "Wait. What's wrong about that?"

Mingi stared exasperatedly at him like he just couldn't believe Seonghwa wasn't taking his 'legit' accusations seriously.

"Listen, Hwa. I have a theory that the real Mr Lee was replaced with an exact clone that's -- newsflash -- some sort of alien type species, because how could he suddenly change within a week or so? He freaking liked Kpop before, which was one of the things that made him cool." Mingi loudly sighed, raking his hands through his hair as if what he was saying was earth-shattering news. "I'm honestly feeling so betrayed rn."

"Did you just say r-n?" Seonghwa questioned with a disbelieving shake of his head.

"Yes. What're you gonna do about it?" Mingi replied. He finally remembered his half-empty coffee's existence and took a sip, looking as close to happy as one could get. And Seonghwa was glad he got to witness it. It was great to see Mingi being his endearingly talkative and cheerful self again.

Seonghwa just didn't know how Mingi would react if he found out about what he did when he wasn't around. The brown haired male knew nothing about the places he went, or about those terrifying Mons, and most importantly, he didn't know a single thing about what Seonghwa and Hongjoong had going on.

The guilt always struck worse during moments like these when it was just the two of them, because wasn't Mingi Seonghwa's best friend? Mingi had never hid stuff from him like he was doing currently; he'd never shied away from telling him the truth whenever he could.

"Hwa. Earth to Hwa. Venus to Hwa. Mars to Hwa -- "

Seonghwa blinked, realizing he'd gotten lost in his thoughts yet again about the ways he'd been lying to his friend. "What?"

Mingi chuckled, staring fondly at him through his glasses. "You got all lost and absentminded again. It was very cute."

Seonghwa groaned, not really liking the term. "No, it's not."

"No, seriously." Mingi adjusted his thinly-framed glasses, another habit of his when he felt a little nervous. "You're really cute."

That feeling came back again. That same stifling, unknown feeling Seonghwa'd experienced at the time he'd had to hide Mingi away from that Mon. It made his stomach get all tangled up with nervous knots, and he didn't like it. The free-spirited mood encircling them had grown far heavier.

Mingi stared intently at him as if he expected Seonghwa to just get it -- whatever 'it' was. But Seonghwa had no idea what was even going on, and as the seconds ticked by, his anxiousness only increased.

"What..." Seonghwa inhaled, not knowing what his friend was getting at. "What's going on?"

Mingi rubbed his neck, taking a couple more sips out of his cappuccino. His expression became unnervingly unreadable, and Seonghwa feared he'd done something to infuriate him again. "Nothing. I was just teasing you, haha."

Seonghwa bit his lip. "Are you telling me the truth?"

"I don't know," Mingi forced out, voice tight. "Are you?"

Things were starting to turn sour between them, something Seonghwa was mortified of. He didn't like how Mingi's tone bordered on accusatory, and to make matters worse, it only served to deepen that canyon of the cold, hard guilt that'd chained him.

"I know you're keeping some things from me," Mingi said.

Seonghwa's throat dried. "I-I don't."

"No," the taller pressed, "it's fine. There's no way I'd expect you to let me know of every single thing that's been going on in your life, just like how you don't expect me to do so either. But what I really can't stand is you pretending that you don't hide stuff from me."

Seonghwa didn't know what to say, but he knew Mingi was right. Mingi was a hundred percent right, but now he'd managed to come along and fuck things up again. That's what he always did, just like his father had said.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I know you hate being lied to, and now I fucking messed things up again."

Mingi's face changed into one that looked highly apologetic. "No, Hwa. You didn't." He slid his palm over Seonghwa's, taking notice of how his hand shook. "I'm not mad at you, I'm really not."

Mingi's thumb was rubbing over Seonghwa's knuckles, and it only succeeded at calming him down somewhat when he remembered the way Hongjoong would slowly stroke his hands while staring into his eyes like he wanted nothing more than for him to be okay.

But, the thought of Hongjoong worsened that guilt that'd clung to Seonghwa. He kept thinking of their interactions. Their hangouts, their bickering, their kisses; of the shorter's hands on him. And like venom plunged into one's bloodstream, the guilt continued to grow and poison his every thought and emotion.

"I -- Hongjoong -- " Seonghwa's throat felt extremely suffocated. Mingi's darkening features didn't make things any better.

The taller's brows rose. "Hongjoong? What about him?" It was clear he was curious, but there was this hard undertone to his voice. Seonghwa couldn't figure out what it was, but it wasn't something he could say he liked.

Seonghwa knew he couldn't tell Mingi the whole truth, especially the one that included what Hongjoong, San and Yunho did and the abilities they had, but he could at least be honest about one thing. He could be honest about his and Hongjoong's 'relationship'.

It wasn't a labelled thing, which Seonghwa was okay with, but he wasn't sure if he'd be okay with it if Mingi found out. He didn't even know how his friend would react to it. What if he somehow wasn't okay with it? Hongjoong wasn't necessarily good buddies with him. The thought itself filled Seonghwa with copious amounts of anxiety.

"...Seonghwa?" Mingi spoke up again, looking worried now. "You okay?"

Seonghwa nodded. His fingers mindlessly ran over his clothed neck, but then heat bloomed in his chest when the image of Hongjoong creating hickeys on it resurfaced in his mind. That was the precise reason he'd opted to wear turtlenecks to school, and now as well. "I'm fine. Just... Yeah. Hongjoong."

"You guys did anything together?" Mingi asked. Seonghwa recognized that tone. It was that too-casual one the taller held whenever he tried to seem unbothered about a certain subject that actually bothered him. He'd done it enough times for Seonghwa to pick up on it almost immediately.

"Well," Seonghwa cleared his throat. He wanted to drink from his salted caramel mocha as a way to distract himself, but then he realized it was now as empty as the night sky without the moon and stars. He didn't know how to break it to Mingi without making everything awkward as fuck. "Actually, we -- "

A new person walked up to the Starbucks building. It was a girl with shoulder-length black hair that curled around her ears, and her hands were stuffed inside the pockets of her blue jeans, her gaze focused on the ground.

Her face was familiar, and Seonghwa soon realized that he'd seen her before. Kang Mira was her name, and he'd done a group project or two with her at his history classes. They'd never really talked much, and Seonghwa didn't know her out of school anyway, so there wasn't any reason for her to spark his attention other than the fact that they'd crossed paths at school a few times.

But, as soon as Seonghwa had seen her, he spotted something around her that shouldn't have been there. Or rather, something emitting out of her.

Like flames crackling over logwood, darkness pulsed out Mira's body in waves, swooshing about like a thick veil of smoke. Alarm blared through Seonghwa's system, his eyes following her until she marched into the cafe with quick steps.

"Is that Mira? I think that's her," Mingi said, his nonchalance on the matter revealing that he hadn't seen what Seonghwa had. "She's walking quite weirdly though. Maybe she's in a hurry."

"Maybe..." Seonghwa tried his hardest not to look her way too much. What if she caught him staring and thought he was a creep or something? He also didn't want Mingi getting any thoughts into his head about the matter. But that proved extremely hard to do with those dark things continuously swimming over her skin, as well as her antsy behaviour.

Mira didn't even buy anything. She went in and she came out empty-handed, her eyes trained on the ground and her fingers tightly curled by her sides. Seonghwa couldn't look away, because those things surrounding her were reminiscent of Mons, and just like that time he'd seen that little boy nearly get attacked by one, he felt the unquenchable need to do something.

He could call Hongjoong and tell him about it. But then again, the shorter boy could've already known. But what if he didn't know? What if a Mon had already gotten to Mira? Was that why darkness seeped out of her like an extended shadow?

"Seonghwa," Mingi sounded shocked. "Where are you going?"

Seonghwa was on his feet, his eyes on Mira as she continued her hasty walk down the other side of the Starbucks building.

"I -- " he gulped. "I need to go call my dad."

Mingi didn't look convinced. "Your dad? Did something happen?"

"It's kinda private," Seonghwa replied, his fists clenched. He hoped he sounded like he was telling the truth. "But don't worry -- I'll be back really soon."

Mingi frowned, sighing after a second. "Sure, fine. I'll wait here."

Seonghwa quickly nodded, and then he was off, heading further into that same direction Mira had wandered off in. In no time at all, he spotted her up ahead, her back hunched and her legs speeding up as if she wanted to hide from something. Those dark things continued to float around her, extending and winding about like extra limbs.

The more Seonghwa walked, the less people appeared. The silence was eerie and palpable, and as moments passed by, Seonghwa began to wonder if he'd made the right choice by following her. What was he even doing? He had no way of helping her or getting rid of those shadows coming from her. What if she was going somewhere that'd risk both their lives?

Something grabbed Seonghwa by the arm right then, narrowly causing him to stumble. He almost shouted, fearing he was in danger until his eyes met vividly golden ones that totally stopped him in his tracks.

Hongjoong was donned in a long-sleeved black sweater tucked into a pair of equally black shorts. He even had a black cap on, but even that didn't lessen that harsh, scolding look in his eyes.

"What the fuck were you trying to do?" Were his first words to the taller male. They were just as harsh.

Seonghwa's heart was racing, both in fear and excitement at seeing Hongjoong, but now was certainly not the time. "M-Mira. She's -- "

"Taken," Hongjoong finished for him, his glare still not wavering.

Seonghwa spared the aforementioned girl a hurried glance as he tried to make sense of Hongjoong's words. "What? What do you mean by taken?"

"You can't save her." Hongjoong's grip on his arm didn't loosen. "No one can. The Mon's already entered her."

Seonghwa couldn't believe what she was hearing. "No." He tried to pull his arm away, but the shorter's grip was strong. "What the hell, Hongjoong? Let me go."

"You're not going anywhere," Hongjoong argued. He was still glaring at Seonghwa, but now there was a hint of desperation in there too. "You're staying with me, and that's final."

Seonghwa looked for Mira, and now she was further ahead, moving closer and closer to a lone road. A cool sensation of dread slipped into him right then. No, this couldn't be happening.

Immediately he started pulling harder, using all his strength to free himself from Hongjoong's hold. "Don't -- don't tell me she's going to die. I can't let that happen! Don't try to stop me!"

Hongjoong looked nothing less than furious, but his tone was pleading. "I already told you there's nothing I can do! There's nothing any of us can fucking do once a Mon fully infects someone."

"If she dies, then you've failed."

Seonghwa finally freed himself then, not allowing himself to get bothered by the cold look on Hongjoong's face. He turned around and started to run.

"Seonghwa!"

Seonghwa wouldn't let Hongjoong get to him. He had to keep moving, had to get to Mira before anything bad happened to her. He didn't know what he'd do if she got hurt or died, and it was a possibility he just couldn't bear.

He wouldn't allow himself to fail. Never again.

Mira was quickly nearing the road, her movements crazed and her eyes large as if she'd seen something she wasn't supposed to see. She already had naturally big eyes, but now they just appeared overly petrified.

Seonghwa tried to call out to her, but she was too fast.

"Seonghwa!" Hongjoong yelled, right on his tail. He sounded afraid, something he'd never sounded like before, and Seonghwa nearly did stop until he witnessed Mira halting in the middle of the road, staring straight at something in the distance.

All of a sudden, a beam of headlights broke through the dark. A truck was speeding over, but Mira just stood there like she was waiting for it to hit her.

Seonghwa started running even faster, feeling his heartbeat thump loudly against his chest. He didn't know what he was planning to do once he got to Mira; all he wanted to do was to make sure she didn't die.

Blood rushed into his head as soon as he grabbed her, and in less than a second pain tore through his entire body like he being burned alive.

The truck's tires screeched against the asphalt road, the sound grating against the walls of Seonghwa's head. Someone -- possibly Hongjoong -- had stopped the vehicle from hitting them, but he couldn't concentrate on anything right now. His chest pounded with a force so great he feared it'd blow up, and his skin continued to burn like there was no tomorrow.

Mira was on the ground, passed out with soot smeared over some parts of her arms. But she was fine. No shadows covered her anymore.

Something bright orange blazed at the corners of Seonghwa's eyes, but he was in too much pain to register anything properly.

"...nghwa...Seonghwa..." Hongjoong's face was a little blurry, but his distressed and panicked expression was evident. He looked horrified.

Seonghwa wanted to ask him what was wrong, but his lungs felt like they were filled with nothing but sandpaper. Beads of sweat rolled down his temple, and he gingerly reached to wipe it off when he saw the state of his arms.

Red decorated his arms like they'd been clawed into, and blood soiled his abdomen as well. When Seonghwa stared at his palms, he realized they had soot on them just like Mira, as well as something flickering and woven in between his fingers.

Fire.

Hongjoong was already over him, talking to someone he couldn't see as well as rapidly quenching the flames fanning his hands with water. Now that he was close enough, Seonghwa could see the little scratch marks on his face.

His heart plummeted. Hongjoong got hurt too.

"Hong...joong..." Seonghwa parted his lips to say, but he couldn't get anything else in. Everything hurt.

"Shh..." Hongjoong whispered, soothing the burning marks on the taller's arms with his ice powers. It was hard to tell what he was feeling at that moment, but it certainly wasn't happiness. "You'll be fine. I'll make sure of it."

"...I'm sorry. I-I..." Seonghwa swallowed, the lump in his throat growing. His bottom lip trembled as warm tears stung his eyes, rolling down his cheeks.

"Don't cry, Seonggie. Help will arrive soon. You, and everyone else will be fine. Don't worry..." Hongjoong said, smoothing down Seonghwa's hair like a doting mother would.

That realization struck Seonghwa harder than ever, and he shut his eyes, quietly sobbing and feeling like the biggest let-down in the whole universe. For the first time in a long time after his mother's death, he was crying, almost choking on his tears, and he couldn't stop.

An opening sliced through the air, electric blue and swirling like a portal. People dressed in white from head to toe rushed towards them, and it didn't take long for Seonghwa to succumb to the tiredness weighing down on his bones.

⛓️

When Seonghwa opened his eyes, he was faced with what appeared to be a hospital room. Unlike traditional hospital rooms however, the walls glimmered with navy blue skies and stars of every colour imaginable that switched positions every few seconds. It was like staring at an actual night sky, and for a moment, the sight calmed him down until he remembered what had happened to him earlier.

He quickly sat up, examining what he could on his body. He had on a standard white hospital wear, but a large bandage had been wrapped around his stomach area. Even with this, he didn't feel any pain anymore.

The doors opened then, and in stepped Hongjoong as well as a taller woman dressed in a long, grey coat and her similarly grey hair pulled into an orderly bun.

She smiled as soon as she saw Seonghwa, while Hongjoong's stare alone oozed relief.

"Hello, Park Seonghwa," the woman began, stopping at the foot of his bed. Hongjoong didn't seem to care as much for personal space as she did, as he was beside Seonghwa in seconds.

Seonghwa wanted to reply her, but the woman just shook her head.

"No need to say anything, dear. My name is Miss Suh. I'm one of the Head Medical Officials here, and luckily, you didn't acquire any serious injures to your body despite being attacked by a Mon," Miss Suh introduced, her voice both soft and curious. "And do not worry. Mira and the driver have been dealt with accordingly."

"Another way of saying they're safe and won't remember a thing," Hongjoong said while staring right at Seonghwa. And Seonghwa stared right back.

He wasn't a big fan of hospitals, but as Hongjoong entwined their fingers, Seonghwa started to feel better.

Miss Suh chuckled at the sight, before pulling out a file and pen. "Are you experiencing any headaches or tingling under your skin, Mr Park?"

Seonghwa slowly shook his head. "No..."

"Hmm, that's very good." Miss Suh scribbled something down in the file.

Hongjoong never took his eyes off Seonghwa the entire time, never stopped holding his hand either. And just like always, it made butterflies overflow the insides of the taller's stomach.

"As you might've already known, we sent Hongjoong to befriend you in order to find more information about you, like how you can see Mons," Miss Suh said, with Hongjoong subtly grimacing at her words. "But nothing about you appeared out of the ordinary -- until tonight."

Seonghwa's eyes widened, not really knowing where she was getting at. He began feeling nervous again. "...What do you mean?"

"You have Pyrokinesis," Hongjoong answered this time, but unlike Miss Suh, he didn't look nearly as excited. "Earlier, you killed the Mon with the fire coming from your hands."

"You also got rid of the Mon after it already infected Mira," Miss Suh said. She stared at Seonghwa like she'd just struck gold. "It's an extremely rare ability, one that only Natural-born Variants have. And, that is who we've concluded you are, Mr Park."

⛓️

a/n: thanks to hueningbaii for this very relatable comment:

sometimes i'm so shook at his character and i'm the one that wrote him -

thoughts?