Kabanata 13

Interview

When I graduated from College, I was expecting that there would be no one to accompany me to get my diploma onstage. Naihanda ko na rin ang sarili ko sa litanyang sasabihin sa university paper adviser—wala pong sasama sa 'kin paakyat ng stage.

Wala akong problema kung walang sasama sa 'kin sa stage. Hindi ako suportado ni Papa sa pag-aaral ng MassComm dahil ayaw niya akong maging reporter, takot na matulad kay Mama. Sa kondisyong iyon, tanggap ko nang hindi niya ako sasamahan sa graduation ko.

Si Rayleigh naman ay hindi raw sigurado kung makapupunta dahil may remedial ngayong araw.

But I was shocked to see my father with my sister. I didn't ask why they were here—it was not the time for that, but I did appreciate them. Sabay nila akong sinamahan paakyat hanggang sa matapos ang ceremony.

I even took a few photos with Malik and Kamila because we knew that it would be seldom for us to meet each other afterwards. We are all cum laudes, except for Malik who was magna.

In the next months, it was hard for us to meet physically. Malik got off with his now three-member band named Dethrone, signed under a certain record label. While Kamila went abroad to study for an additional course.

I, on the other hand, finished my internship and was now employed at MLM News. I didn't want to consider this as one of the broadcasting stations that I'd apply for because I want to be away from my mother's cousin. But I liked the work environment, especially when I was on my OJT, that's why I went on with it.

At the end of the day, it was all about my experience, and not my personal affiliations. Hindi ako uunlad kung paiiralin ko ang bagay na "makasarili".

"Tam, wala kang naririnig na balita?" tanong ni Eli habang nagbubukas ng baunan. Humampas ang amoy ng bagoong nang inilagay niya ang takip sa gilid.

Kumunot ang noo ko bago mag-iwas ng tingin sa adobong ulam. Wala akong oras para magluto ng lunch kaya bumili nalang ako sa canteen.

"Kauuwi ko lang galing sa labas. Bakit?" tanong ko bago isinubo ang pagkain. Inipit ko sa dibdib ang dulo ng puting ribbon ng chiffon top ko, takot na mapatakan ng sauce.

Sinimulan na niya ang paglagay ng binagoongan sa kanin at ibinitin sa ere ang kutsara. "Ah, nag-live ka nga pala kanina, 'no? Ba't ba lagi kong nakalilimutan?"

Natawa siya bago isinubo ang pagkain. I took a few bites before I spoke.

"Madalas kasi ang rotation between reporters," was my comment before I ate again.

Eli was one of the morning reporters that I became friends with. Magkasabay kami ng shift kaya siya ang madalas na nakauusap ko. Kalimitan sa mga dumadating na reporters ay: una, panandalian lang ang schedule—minsan umaga, minsan gabi; at ikalawa, kung kapareho ko ng shift, pagkatapos ng ilang buwan, nalilipat ng station kung saan mag-re-report.

These are some "inconsistencies" in my workplace which I had a hard time in getting used to, but I learned to adapt. Nasasanay ko na ang sarili ko na hindi nalang nakipaglalapit sa kanila para hindi mahirapan kung mawawala.

Just pure acquaintances—as simple as that. But I do treat Eli as my friend now, which I was thankful for.

"Naghahanap daw kasi si Ma'am Jangco ng reporter na magiging beat ay 'yung mga artista at kung sino-sino pa."

"I would be at the end of the list," I nonchalantly answered as I ate.

She chuckled a little. "Ay, oo nga pala. Ayaw mo mag-showbiz reporter, 'no?"

"Hindi ako interesado sa buhay nila," was my answer.

I remembered the first time I got offered for a permanent job. I had to choose between two—a showbiz reporter or a live reporter. Ang problema nga lang sa live, hindi pa sigurado ang slot. Mas sigurado raw ang sa showbiz reporter.

I told her that I don't like taking up news related to show business. Hindi kasi siya interesante. Hindi rin substantial para sa 'kin dahil ano ang pakialam ko sa buhay ng mga artista?

I studied to get a degree so I could practice trustworthy, clean, and honest journalism.

What would I get from reporting about the lives of other artists? Nothing. That's why I didn't consider that position. The field of show business reporting was not for me, and, for sure, someone would take up the offer.

Luckily, I got a slot as a regular live reporter. Sa umaga ako madalas mag-live report. Gumigising ng alas dose ng umaga at natatapos ng—kung suswertihin—ay alas dose ng tanghali. Kapag tapos na sa lahat-lahat, ibibigay ang AV Package para mai-replay sa balita sa mga susunod na oras. Kapag tapos na ay maghahanap ng balitang ipi-pitch bukas. Kinabukasan ay gano'n ulit.

I didn't find my routine redundant. Araw-araw ay iba't ibang istorya ang ibinabalita ko. Hindi rin naman ako napapagod kung gigising nang maaga dahil gusto ko ang ginagawa ko.

Ang pinaka-gusto kong aspekto ng trabaho—ang pagpalipat-lipat ng lugar ng mga taong iinterviewhin. Iba't ibang kwento ang naririnig habang sinusubukan kung paano kumonekta sa ini-interview pati na rin sa mga manonood.

When Eli and I finished eating, I prepared myself to leave. Hindi raw muna siya uuwi dahil may aasikasuhin pa.

Papaalis na sana ako ng cubicle nang may naghanap sa 'kin at pinatatawag daw ako sa office ni Ma'am Jangco. Eli gave me a look; her doe eyes pried me as if she had a guess what it was about.

Nagpaalam ako saglit. Sabi ko ay magtu-toothbrush muna. Pumayag naman kaya nagpunta ako ro'n pagkatapos.

I knocked on the door and waited for a reply. Tsaka lang ako pumasok.

Katulad ng kabuoang broadcasting station, malamig din sa office ni Ma'am Jangco. Bamboo scent ang pumailanlang sa paligid dahil sa diffuser na nakapwesto sa lamesa malapit sa pinto. Hindi ako sanay sa amoy noong una pero nakasanayan na dahil ilang beses nang nakapupunta.

Halimbawa ay may ina-assign sa 'king bagong project o 'di kaya'y pasasamahin ako sa isang research para makakuha ng experience. Bibihira ko lang kasama si Eli ro'n dahil pareho kami ng shift. Hindi pwedeng walang "naka-abang" na reporter.

"Good afternoon, Tamara."

I greeted and acknowledged her. She's around her fifties. The air that wafted around her had a sense of authority and pride. It did shake my chest a little, but it's always like that. Unti-unti na rin akong nasanay.

"Good afternoon, Ma'am Jangco. Pinatatawag niyo raw po ako?"

She gave me a smile and went to another sitting position, her office chair creaked because of that. Inilapit niya ang katawan sa lamesa at humalukipkip, ipinapatong ang braso sa babasaging tuktok ng lamesa.

"I remember the first time we 'searched' for your name. Naaalala mo pa ba, hija?"

I smiled a little. "Opo."

"Ano nga ulit ang tawag sa 'yo rati? 'Tana'? Am I correct?"

"Yes po."

"Pero ano ang verdict ko ro'n, ulit? If you remember..."

"Bitin po ang 'Tana Ortegon' para sa inyo."

She nodded. "Yes, walang impact. I liked your name now—Tamara Ortegon. Powerful at may statement. Bagay na bagay sa image mo, ibang-iba ang dating sa 'Tana Morales'. Pa-tweetums. Hindi mo ba talaga kamag-anak si Linda Morales, hija?"

Katulad ng nakasanayang sagot sa mga tanong, "Hindi po."

It was a lie.

She chuckled and clasped her hands. "Gan'yan din ang sagot mo noong namimili tayo ng pangalan mo. I like that consistency, pero hija..."

"Yes po?"

"Are you still consistent with your choice of news?"

Naningkit ang mata ko, hindi gaanong nakuha ang ipinararating niya.

If this is about what Eli talked about earlier, then...

"What I mean is—ayaw mo talaga sa show business?"

"Still the same, Ma'am. Ayaw ko pa rin po."

She puckered her lips and leaned at her chair. Panandaliang nanatili ang tingin sa 'kin at ngumiti nang maliit. "You won't accept even if it's a press conference?"

I stared at her for a while. If it's a press conference, surely, I could ask things related to their job. Hindi naman ako showbiz reporter kaya ang magiging tanong ko ay hindi paraan para makakuha ng "chismis". Iikot lang sila sa mga naging hakbang ng career.

"As long as I won't ask them invasive questions."

She knitted her brows. "What do you mean by that, hija?"

"Hindi po ako magtatanong tungkol sa lovelife nila at kung ano-ano pang pwedeng ma-issue sa kanila."

"But the band that you're going interview had no issues so far," katwiran niya.

Band?

"Tamara, hija, hindi pwedeng gan'yan palagi, okay? What I mean by this is—that things won't always go on your way. You're three years into the service, you must step up a little and improve your game."

I didn't speak. Sa tono niya, halatang may ihahabol pang mga salita.

"At tsaka, hindi ka naman mag-i-interview ng kung sino-sino. You're a live reporter and going to the site of the press conference is a part of it. Hindi siya showbiz, believe me. Hindi ka naman si Mel Santiago o si Iya Villana para gawin 'yon, so it's okay."

Nanatili akong tahimik, pinakikiramdaman ang paligid.

For today's agenda, there were only two options—my agreement or my refusal. But her tone drew denser to the former, which I assume was my final verdict. Matagal na rin akong sinusuyo tungkol dito kaya kung tatanggi pa, baka pumangit na ang record ko.

I just hope that this won't lead to other show business disguised as a "press conference".

I internally sighed before I nodded. I tucked a few strands of my short hair behind my ear.

"Ok. I'll take it po. What band am I going to interview?" Dethrone? Gusto kong idagdag, pero wala namang nabanggit si Malik tungkol do'n. Baka bagong balita lang sa kanila? If that's the case, then I would be at ease to go. Nakausap ko rin naman ang iba niyang kabanda noon.

"STATION."

I blinked. Muntik nang mapaawang ang bibig kaya tumango nalang ako. "Noted po."

She clasped her hands again. "All right, it's settled! I'll coordinate this with the executive producer. Re-arrange your schedule and stuff... Sa Thursday ang interview. Two days is enough to settle the temporary schedule 'no?"

"Yes po," medyo pilit ang tono ko.

I bid her goodbye and left her office. Nanatili pa ako nang ilang oras dahil may tinanong sa 'kin si Mike, my partner who was also my cameraman. Nang matapos, didiretso na sana ako sa pag-uwi ngunit tumawag si Malik, gusto raw niya akong makita. Hindi dapat ako papayag pero alam kong mangungulit siya kaya tumuloy nalang ako.

It's the usual Malik that's why I'm used to it. I couldn't bear him visiting the station, baka ma-issue pa. Besides, it's been a while since we saw each other. Huling kita namin ay noong isang buwan kung kailan libre ang schedule ni Kamila.

Malik and I met at a coffee shop with seats on the rooftop. I scolded him about how he was careless with the place. He's a public figure now and was slowly gaining national recognition. Hindi man sila kasingsikat ng STATION, hindi ko pa rin maisusugal. Baka magka-issue ang banda niya.

"Malik, you're not a private citizen anymore," I scolded him once I saw the seat he occupied. It was a two-seater white parasol. The sun had already set which gave way to the dim lights from the fairy lights.

My eyes immediately dropped to the drink and dessert on the table. The small lantern in the middle illuminated the color of the food on the wooden table—green.

Napabuntonghininga ako at umupo na sa kaharap niya. I stared at it with contemplation.

Suhol ba 'to o gusto lang niya manlibre?

I looked back at him and saw the amusement in his face. Gustong-gusto yatang makita ang paghihirap ko.

"Ka-o-order mo lang ba nito?" I asked, a little tempted to pick up the golden fork. Angat na angat ang kulay ng matcha crepe cake sa puting plato. Kinakawayan din ako ng matcha latte sa gilid.

"Oo. Na-track ko ETA mo, e."

Kinunotan ko siya ng noo.

"Nag-message ka pa nga sa 'kin para 'di ako mangulit kung nasa'n ka na, 'di ba?"

"Yeah, like my grandfather."

Sinapo niya ang dibdib. Hindi man gaanong kita ang kabuoang ekspresyon ng mukha dala ng sumbrerong suot, alam kong pinagtitripan na naman niya ako.

"Lolo lang ba tingin mo sa 'kin?"

I rolled my eyes at him and stared back at the matcha crepe cake. Ang tagal ko nang hindi nakakakain nito mula sa café na 'to. This was one of the best that I've tasted.

"Kainin mo na. Inaakit ka na, o. Sabi niya, 'Tana, don't be shy. Kainin mo na 'ko.'"

"Parang nawalan ako ng gana." Itinulak ko palayo ang plato. Kinuha niya ang tinidor na inilagay ko sa plato, umaambang babawasan ang pagkain ko. Agad kong ibinalik sa pwesto ko, iniirapan siya.

"Asus." He laughed.

Inirapan ko muli siya at sinimulan na ang pagkain, hindi pinapansin ang komento niya.

"What are you going to talk about?"

"Chicks."

Napaangat ako ng tingin sa kan'ya bago tinaasan ng kilay.

"Chicks! Chicks, as in manok. Hindi chicks na babae ha. Hindi tamang tinatawag sila ng gano'n kasi inilalagay mo sila sa category na hindi naman sila belong. At tsaka, nakababastos 'yon!"

Tinitigan ko lang siya.

As always, Malik had his sensical side. Madalas man siya mangulit, matinong tao pa rin.

I hid my smile by starting to eat. Mainit-init pa ang matcha latte na inorder niya. Tingin ko'y inaabangan ako sa pagdating bago i-serve.

"Don't you have any schedule, Malik?" tanong ko habang kumakain.

He drank from his usual drink, vanilla latte, before he answered. "Katatapos lang."

"And you're free for the rest of the day?"

Kinunotan niya ako ng noo bago mapanlokong ngumisi. "Ba't mo natanong? Lalabas tayo?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "No, baka hanapin ka na naman ng manager niyo."

Ngumuso siya. "Nagpaalam naman ako, e."

Hindi na muli ako umimik dahil abala sa pagkain. Paubos na ang matcha crepe cake ko kaya sinasamaan ko siya ng tingin tuwing kumukuha. Kinukuha pa sa 'kin ang tinidor na ginagamit ko!

"Uy, libre ko 'yan."

"Babayaran ko nalang," saad ko habang binubuksan ang bag habang hawak-hawak ang tinidor. Hindi ako papayag na makakukuha ulit si Malik.

He watched me, amusement on his face, as he saw me struggling in opening the bag. Napailing nalang siya at natawa nang matagumpay kong nailabas ang wallet. Maglalapag na ako ng bill nang matawa siya.

"'Wag na, libre ko 'yan."

"Baka sumbatan mo 'ko."

"Hindi, a!"

Napabuntonghininga na lang ako at ipinasok ang wallet sa bag. "Why did you ask me to come here? May itatanong ka ba sa 'kin?"

Nag-ikot siya ng tingin, kunyari ay nag-iisip. "Musta trabaho?"

Natigilan ako nang maalala ang bagong project na na-assign sa 'kin. I felt a bit irritated.

"O! Alam ko 'yang mukhang 'yan."

I met his stare. "No, you don't."

"Sauce! Defensive ka pa rin talaga, Tana."

"I'm not."

He leaned forward. "Ano nga? May bago ba?"

"Wala nga."

"Luh, kita ko 'yang reaksyon mo kanina. May kakaiba e. Ano nga 'yun?"

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Nagpaawa siya sa 'kin na siyang tinitigan ko lang habang umiinom.

"O chismis 'yan?"

"Nope."

"E ano nga?"

Ang kulit talaga nitong si Malik. Kung hindi ko naman sasabihin, kukulitin naman ako sa mga susunod na araw. Though he's nosy, I do appreciate his way of checking up on me. Pareho sila ni Kamila.

Okay lang din.

"I'm going to interview a public figure."

"Politiko? Lagi mo namang ginagawa 'yun e. Talk show, Tana?"

Pagod ko siyang tiningnan. "Banda."

He blinked while pouting. "STATION?"

I looked down and nodded.

"Wala ba talaga kayong press conference, Malik?" I asked, a little hopeful that they'd have one, and, hopefully, ask for a reassignment?

Imposible namang payagan ako ni Ma'am Jangco ro'n. Pero mabuti na ang nagtatanong. Pag-iisipan ko nalang siguro kung meron nga silang presscon.

Humalumbaba siya at tinapik ang pisngi gamit ang hintuturo. "Walang naibalita sa 'kin this week."

There goes my plan.

I slumped my shoulders. Ayoko talagang interviewhin ang STATION. Hindi ako mapalagay sa kanila.

"Galing nila, 'no?" there was a hint of bitterness in his tone. "Nakapag-release sila ng singles kada buwan. Kasabay no'n 'yung paghahanda nila para sa full-length album. Ganda rin ng bond nila bilang banda."

"But the three of you are still on this path..."

Back in College, there were five of them in the band. Umalis ang dalawa dahil, ayon kay Malik, 'I don't see my future as a bandman.', ang naging sagot nila.

"So, parang hobby lang..." There was pain and disappointment in his voice when he told me that.

He ran his nails through the surface of the table. "Tingin ko nga, napipilitan lang 'yung dalawa, e."

Humalukipkip ako. "Bakit?"

Nag-angat siya ng tingin, ang mukha ay malamlam. Magsasalita na dapat pero nginitian lang ako at inilingan. "Wala. Baka mali naisip ko. Balik tayo sa 'yo. Ba't ka naatasan magpunta sa presscon?"

I stared at him for a while.

He changed the subject which meant that he doesn't want to talk about it. I'll let it be because it would be invasive if I would press on it.

"Ilang beses na akong iniimbitahang mag-interview ng mga artista. Madalas akong hindi pumapayag. Hindi rin dapat ako papayag ngayon, but it would damage my reputation. I also didn't want to leave a bad record."

"'Di ka ba nagiging pihikan lang, Tana?"

I sighed. "I think not. The news for show business has a different tone and structure, and I don't like that. I don't want to write 'invasive' articles. My interest is in true and proper journaling, and I aspire to be the likes of Kara David."

He rose both of his brows which I found mocking.

"What?" medyo natatawa kong tanong dahil panigurado akong may sasabihin siya.

He leaned back on his chair and slung his left arm. "Mukhang approachable si Kara David while you..." Humalakhak siya at itinukod ang magkabilang braso sa lamesa, inilalapit ang mukha sa 'kin. "You're stoic and cold and... damn, Tana! I'm lucky to have you. Pwede ka bang maging personal reporter? Report mo naman ang mga bagay na interesado sa 'kin."

Napatawa ako habang umiiling. "I can't—"

"—because you're not into show business—"

"—because I don't find anything interesting about you." There was a weird glint in his eyes when I said that.

Tsaka lang din humampas sa 'kin ang bigat ng sinabi ko.

But he had known me as a frank and honest person, someone who doesn't sugarcoat things. He should be used to that right now.

Itinagilid ko ang ulo at pinanood ang reaksyon niya. "I'm not interested in anything or anyone unless you're a walking paradox of mystery and whatnots. Malik, I've known at least a decent percentage of you to tell that you're different from the playfulness that you're showing. That's enough for me; I'm not interested in things past that."

He licked his lips. A little bit of annoyance made its way to his face.

He smirked. "Ano lang inaaral mo? Mga bagay na interesante sa 'yo?"

"Yes, things that I think are relevant to the society so I could possibly contribute to its betterment. It won't help if I would report news like: 'Si Malik ay nagbabakasyon sa Switzerland.'"

Bahagyang nawala ang dilim sa mukha niya. Napangiti't napailing siya sa sinabi ko. "Nga naman. 'Lang kwenta 'yung gano'ng balita. 'SML?'"

"Yes, that kind of thing." Napangiti na ako. "I hope you understood my point."

Napatitig siya sa 'kin bago natawa. Inalis niya ang sumbrero, inayos ang buhok, bago isinuot ulit.

"Haaay. The best ka talaga, Tana. Kaya sa 'yo ako, e."

I rolled my eyes and laughed a little.

Kung ano-ano na naman ang lumalabas mula sa bibig ni Malik.