"we go together or we don't go down at all"

***

"What the fuck?"

A sobering gasp fell out of my mouth, the ridiculously wet sensation causing my skin to crawl and a disgusted shiver to charge down my spine.  My eyes shot open, I immediately jumped up from my seat. Isaac was leaning against the back of the couch, hands clamped over his mouth and an apologetic look drowning in his eyes.

Apology not accepted.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I swear to-"

The stench wafted up to my nose, and in combination with the wetness that clung to my skin, I could feel my gag reflex begin to awaken, interrupting my thought.  My gaze darted down to my chest, where he'd emptied out the entire contents of his stomach, all brown, green, and disgusting.

I think he ate pizza.

And if something didn't change in about two seconds, I was going to return the favour.

Barely even registering the faces of shock that surrounded me, I sprinted out of the room and up the stairs, struggling to get my shirt off at the same time. The longer it was touching me, the more it made my skin crawl. There was no time for modesty.

Was this me being punished for my loyal eyes straying?

Thankfully, a very clear path was carved out in front, probably from the odour that preceded my sprinting arrival. I'd finally managed to writhe out of my shirt, all my hard cereal box taping gone to waste.

At least I had worn a cute bra, I thought to myself as everyone's curious eyes drank me in. The very weak and barely tolerable silver living in the fact that someone had just thrown up on me.

Relief crashed over me as I finally slipped into the bathroom, never so thankful to be welcomed by freshly washed towels and running water. The shirt, despite being at an arm's length, was still very disgusting, and I immediately hurled it into the sink when my feet touched the cool tile.

Just as I was piling my hair in a bun, getting ready to give myself a truck-stop shower via sink because shame was obviously a thing of the past now, the door began to creak open. I paused, lowering my arms and prepared to karate-chop whichever dumb boy had decided to follow the half-naked girl into the bathroom. And I was not afraid to use my puke-shirt as a weapon.

Instead it was the light brown hair of Reese that appeared, who stepped in with a hand hovering over his eyes.

"I heard you got thrown up on," he said, sucking his teeth. "That's rough. Isaac really can't hold his liquour, I guess. Hey, are you naked?"

Before I could reply, I saw his fingers slowly begin to separate, and I gasped, covering my arms over my chest. "Basically! Why even ask?" I snapped, lips pursing.

He dropped his hand, shrugging with a sheepish grin. "You're wearing a bra, you're fine. Plus, it's nice to know you actually have something going on there. Who knew, am I right?"

I shot him a deathly glare, still hugging my chest. "Fuck you, I just got puked on."

Reese nodded his head, bringing up his other hand which held a light grey sweater I remembered him wearing the other night. "I know, and so Prince Charming over here came to save you. I okay'd it with Tyler, he said the shower's all your's. Turns out chivalry's not all dead. Also, my sweater, here, throw this on, just don't get your boob sweat on it."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm still wearing a bra, dumbass."

"Black polka-dots look cute on you, by the way."

As I was about to return with some smart-ass remark, he flung the sweater in my direction, which my sloth-like reflexes failed to catch in time before it was draped over my face. When I managed to pull it off and see again, I was left alone, with only the sound of running water drowning my ruined shirt.

I was never going to wear that again, which sucked, because it was actually a really nice shirt.

After I'd relished in the sensation of clean, soapy water trickling down my skin and erasing the memory of Isaac's regurgitated pizza down the drain, despite the little tickle in the back of my throat, I was pretty sure I was in the clear. For throwing up, at least. Mental scarring was inevitable at this point.

I'd struggled my way into the hoodie Reese had thrown at me, which was surprisingly warm and soft and very welcoming against my skin. As I turned, my eyes met with my face in the mirror. Despite the initial spark of shock, my senses had dulled again and the warm buzz had returned. My cheeks were flushed, but my mascara had persevered and now I now smelled like lavender which was nice.

Then it hit me that I was standing in Tyler's bathroom, after using Tyler's body wash in Tyler's shower.

Despite my six-year long crush, I never thought I'd be in Tyler's bathroom. It felt oddly personal. My fingertips brushed against the porcelain of the sink, my eyes drifting along the soft contours of the stainless steel. It seemed like every other minute lately I was drowning in my own nostalgia, thinking back to how much had changed.

Clearing my throat, I grabbed a wad of toilet paper and began wrapping my hands in it, prepared to go throw my ruined shirt into a trash can somewhere. I was at least being nice and not leaving it in the bathroom.

I'd found a trash bin at the back of the house, immersed in the shadows, with only the dull glow from the windows to shine my way. It seemed that the party had gone on well enough without me, as people had barely registered my return down the stairs, and I'd missed Savannah and Eva on my way out. The passing breeze felt cool against my heated cheeks, nipping at my exposed skin, and I tugged the sweater tighter against my body.

Just as I was about to round the corner and find my way back to my friends to complain loudly and obnoxiously, a figure appeared before me.

"What?" I asked, my question answered as soon as my eyes travelled from the devilish grin to the over-sized bottle in Reese's hand.

"Do you even really need to ask?"

I sighed, shrugging. "Is this becoming weird tradition?"

Reese snorted, turning on his heel and already trekking towards the collection of trees, not even bothering to check if I was following. "It's not weird, Sandavol. It's touching."

Without a reply, I trailed after him, finding that drowning my memories in alcohol seemed like the easiest course of action. Maybe if I drank myself into oblivion, the memory would erase itself.

I shivered at the thought. Probably more therapy fodder, honestly.

Reese began skimming the edge of the trees that lined Tyler's backyard. Shadows danced between the branches, and I followed with furrowed brows and silent questions of where Reese was leading me to. Still, I didn't interrupt the blanket of quiet, and instead listened intently to the distant chirp of crickets and pop music.

"Are you going to sacrifice me, or something?" I finally asked, pulling the sweater tighter against me as another breeze sailed by. "Because if so, I want it on record that I was always right about you this entire time. Devil worship. How did I always know this was going to be the end of me?"

"I've got snacks," he replied, and despite the fact that I was staring at the back of his head, I could hear the smirk in his words. As I opened my mouth to retaliate, my stomach rumbled underneath the grey fabric, and my lips fell shut.

I did like snacks.

We eventually stumbled upon a small clearing, illuminated only by the moonlight pouring down, and I watched with piqued curiosity as Reese dropped his backpack beside him.

Reese turned, grinned, and held out the bottle to me. "You look like you need this."

I scoffed, nodding my head and graciously accepting his offer, because he wasn't wrong, really. "You don't think?"

Pressing the rim of the bottle to my chapped lips, I tipped my head back. The flames of vodka cascaded down my throat and I pulled a face. Hearing Reese chuckle next to me, my eyes shot open and I handed him the bottle. "Oh like you don't make the same face."

He grinned, taking a swig and then wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Stella, I'm a manly man. I feel nothing."

Snorting, I rolled my eyes and my knees folded, the blades of grass reaching up to tickle my fingertips. The ground was cold, but it felt nice against my burning skin, and as I fell onto my back, I was momentarily enchanted by the dark abyss draped above us, only interrupted by the twinkling of the stars.

Booze made me feel very poetic.

Hearing a shuffling sound, I turned my head to see that Reese had joined me, inches away, back touching the grass. When he noticed my intent gaze, his amber eyes met mine.

"I know you probably think that this is my fault," he sighed.

"Probably? I thought we were best friends, Reese, you should know better." The sarcasm that dripped from my words was not subtle.

A cheeky grin broke out across his face. "I mean, I knew you were bad at conversation, but man, we clearly have a lot of work to do. I never thought you could make someone physically throw up."

I huffed and slapped him against the chest, to which he winced, a muffled complaint falling from his lips. I smirked. Good.

"Snacks, I was promised snacks to be here," I reminded him, holding out an empty hand, wiggling my fingers. "Don't think I forgot."

Reese heaved a sigh, which I was incredibly unsympathetic towards, and sat up to rummage through his backpack. Without saying a word, he hurled something towards me, which caught me right in the middle of my face. Thankfully, it was light, but I still threw a curse back.

Picking it up off my face, I turned to Reese. "What is this, a bag of chips for babies? I need sustenance."

He fixed me with a deadpan look. "Please, go buy some chips, then."

I said nothing, instead ripped the bag open and popped a chip into my mouth. All dressed. Good choice, at least.

As he laid back down, a quiet once again flooded between us. The flavour of the chips was a nice chaser to the vodka, as I took another shot and then quickly followed it with pleased crunches. When Reese held out his hand wordlessly, I reluctantly passed him the bag, and we continued passing it back and forth just as we did with the booze.

"He was totally going to kiss me, by the way, before he puked on me. Which means that if anything, I can probably make a guy kiss me," I insisted, more for my own dignity than anything.

"I never doubted that."

I swallowed, the warm buzz of vodka still lingering in my throat, and an unintentional beat of silence fell between us.

"You know, you never told me why you were so pissed off at me since the beginning."

I turned my head, interest piqued and brows pinched as I saw Reese's face, void of its usual grin. I could see his cheeks were slightly flushed too, probably feeling the same cloudy haze that I did.

"Are you serious? You don't even remember? It was like, three months ago or something. You can't remember?" I asked, only to be met with a blank stare and a sheepish shrug. "I can't believe you."

"What?" he gasped, face in disbelief. "It was like, day one, unexplained, no reason."

"There were reasons!" I insisted, my fingertips reaching for the bottle between us. "You- ugh, you wouldn't even get it."

"Try me."

I took another quick shot, wincing as the bitter taste seized my taste buds, and placed the bottle between us once again. When I looked to see Reese's face, his eyes were trained on me, open and waiting, his interest unwavering.

"It was when you called me crazy."

His eyebrow cocked, and it took everything within me not to punch him in the face, because despite the fact that I reassured Savannah days after I'd ranted about it that I was way, totally, completely over it, it still was a sensitive spot for me.

"You mean, that time you almost bit my head off for basically no reason when I accidentally bumped into you?" he asked, hints of amusement laced in his voice.

"No reason?" I gaped. "You like- rammed into me, to the point where I fell down on my ass, which hurt a lot by the way, gave me one look, said sorry- very insincerely, I might add, and then didn't even help me up!"

I could already feel the flicker of irritation ignite within me as I was transported back into that moment, only further spurred by the lack of understanding written all over Reese's face.

He blinked at me. "You threatened to break my kneecaps."

"That's a perfectly reasonable response if you ask me. Plus, my brother was being a dick that day, so I was already kind of pissed off. And okay, I might have overreacted but still. I hate when people call me crazy."

The gravity of the moment weighed down on my chest, and I reached for the bottle again, hoping to drown out the feeling.

"Really?" Reese asked, his face uncharacteristically earnest. "I, uh, I didn't know you felt that way."

I huffed, stuffing another handful of chips into my mouth to calm my swelling irritation. "Of course you don't, it's just- it's so invalidating. Like I may overreact sometimes, but it's not like I don't have valid reasons to be upset. And I know I'm working on it, but really, I hate it. I know there's way worse things to be called, and its kind of childish, but I just- it's that one thing. That one thing that always gets to me."

The Smirnoff had loosened my lips and as my words fell into the midnight air, I immediately wanted to swallow them back down. The sound of our breathing was the only sound, harmonizing in the passing breeze, and I pulled my sweater tighter around me. My eyes fell shut as I laid there, waiting for some sort of passing remark from Reese, brushing it off, or laugh at me, agree, something.

"I'm sorry."

I peeked open an eye, turning my head to see Reese's face, intense under the moonlight, crooked nose and bushy brows and amber eyes, all waiting.

"I- you don't have to apologize. It's whatever." I could feel a flush begin to burn on my cheeks as I averted my gaze, unable to hold his.

"I want to."

Quiet flooded between us again, and felt my nerves spark underneath my skin, my throat tightening.

Just as I opened my mouth to dismiss him again, Reese sat up, capturing my attention. I watched with piqued interest as he started digging into his backpack again, and felt my brows knit when he pulled out a book.

Curiosity itching in the back of my throat, I sat up. "What?"

He held out the book to me, an all-too familiar red and black cover, causing me to blink in confusion.

"Take it," he finally said, pushing it closer to me. "I was going to reward you tonight with it if you kissed someone, but here, take it."

Only managing a dumb look on my face, all the consonants dissolving on my tongue, I took it. The diary I used to hold so close, the pages all dog-earned and worn down from use, brimming with my ravings and rants and secrets, all held together in my hands. I blinked again, flipping through some of the pages saturated in my memories, and then looked back to Reese.

"I shredded all the copies too- in case you're worried. I know you probably don't believe me, but I did."

As his gaze borrowed mine and the crickets chirped and the stars shined, I did. I didn't know why, but I did. And as his eyes swallowed mine and my heart stuttered, I opened my mouth, and then closed it again, finding no words.

"Why?"

Reese shrugged, leaning back on his palms, looking casual as ever. "I just felt like you've earned it. And plus, I felt kind of bad. I know you think I'm like, impervious to that sort of thing or whatever, but I do feel sometimes, you know."

I blinked again. "But I didn't kiss anyone."

My mouth seemed to move on it's own, and it wasn't until the words had left my throat did I take notice to them. My train of thought was disjointed, my lips unconcerned with what my mind had to say, moving on their own.

Reese arched a brow. "You don't think you've earned it?"

I immediately ripped my gaze to the ground, feeling the fire seize my cheeks as I pinched my brows. "I didn't mean- yes, I did," I murmured, my voice coming out smaller than expected.

"It's the spiderman suit, isn't it?"

My gaze lifting, I was met with a broad grin, all teeth and mischief. The implications hiding behind his words took a moment to dawn on me. "Powers, are you-? No, no way, gross." I pulled a face.

His jaw dropped in shock, but the edges of his mouth betrayed him and quirked upright. "Did you just gross me? Seriously?"

"Yes, yes I just did. You have been grossed."

Reese slapped a palm against his chest. "That hurts, you know. I just did a really nice thing. And don't think I haven't seen you eyeing me up all night."

I snorted, stealing another sip from the bottle. "Keep talking and I might just pull an Isaac on you."

Reese raised his brows at me. "Maybe I should take it back? I brought it because I actually had faith you could kiss a guy tonight, but looks like you just don't have it in you."

Now it was my turn to gape, eyes blinking incredulously at him. "This was a freak turn of events!" I threw my hands up in the air, swaying slightly as the vodka began to settle in my bloodstream. "He was totally ready to kiss me!"

Reese shrugged, purposely acting nonchalant. "Sure, sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."

"I'm a great kisser."

"I believe you, Stella, I really do."

My jaw clenched, the grin on his face reading the exact opposite of his words.

"Oh please, your mind would be completely blown, I'm that good, okay? If there were a kissing Olympics, I would win. I would win that shit out of them," I maintained, crossing my arms over my chest with a pout. I knew deep down that I was over exaggerating, and that my bruised ego was merely blowing hot air, but still, I couldn't keep the words from escaping. As his smirk grew, it only spurred more agitation.

"If there were a kissing Olympics, I think you forget that I exist, and therefore it would be impossible for you to win."

I shot him a dry look. "Oh yes, with your dead blowfish technique, I'm sure."

With amusement written across his face, he cocked a brow. "What do you know about my technique?"

I waved him off, refusing to meet his gaze. "I can just tell. I'm that good. Seriously."

"You know, you shouldn't test me."

When I turned my head, Reese met my stare, the challenge unwavering in his eyes.

"I'm testing you."

It seemed that the alcohol was speaking for me, as the warmth rose to my cheeks, but I refused to break the stare. The passing breeze was merely an afterthought as I felt my body leaning in, an unconscious movement I barely realized until Reese's hand reached up and touched my cheek. It was cool against the heat radiating from my skin, and caused a tightness to appear in my chest.

"Don't do anything you're gonna regret," Reese murmured, barely a breath above a whisper, accompanied with that infuriating smirk.

"I would never."

In retrospect it didn't make sense, in the moment it didn't make sense, but logical thinking was four vodka shots ago.

As my eyes fell shut and the gap between us began to close, I could feel his breath caress my mouth, daunting, and I couldn't explain why I pressed my lips to his, but I did. And as my heartbeat thudded in my ears, again. And as my breath hitched in my throat, again. And again.

His lips were soft, first just a teasing brush, unsure, hesitant, like barely-there butterfly wings. But then as I pressed closer, leaning in, wanting more, needing more, the heat sparked between us. The warmth of his lips against mine was intoxicating, and I melted underneath his fingertips. His hand migrated from the heat of my cheek to the hair sweeping the nape of my neck, pulling tighter, drawing me closer. 

He tasted like chips and vodka, and I felt myself arch as his cool grip travelled along the small of my back. As our mouths met again, his teeth nibbling gently on my bottom lip in a way that caused shivers to dance down my spine, I realized I had somehow climbed into his lap. My hands were rested around his neck, and as soon as he pulled away, I captured his lips once more.

Logical thought had dissolved into our short breaths, and the only thing I could focus on was the need to get him closer.

The hand on my waist tightened, and I shivered again as he peppered kisses along my neck, breath hovering over my ear, causing me to swallow, hard.

"Stella, I-"

"Stella! Stella where are you?"

At the sound of Savannah's voice, my eyes immediately shot open, and I could feel Reese stiffen underneath me. In less than a breath I was five feet away from him, my skin still burning from his touch, gasping for breath, heart lodged in my throat. Savannah continued to call my name, but they were just distant echoes, overwhelmed by the thudding of my heart in my ears.

What the hell just happened?

***

one- i just found out that all time low is still a thing, and so is the theme of this chapter, ahaha. two- can you guys see now why this was split up? seriously my longest chapter ever, ahaha.

three- ?????

i hope you guys like this chapter, like i mentioned it's one i was kind of dying to write, and you know, THE END OF THE SLOW BURN.

how you guys feeling? c: