Chapter Eleven - Loner Boy
"Whatever you believe about yourself on the inside is what you will manifest on the outside." -Unknown
This story... does not belong to Clara alone.
RECAP:
Dark Prism is the most dangerous supervillain in Queensgate City and now Clara has found herself being blackmailed by him to help him with his plans. The day after, she's quieter than usual and her friends, Emma, Alex and Al pick up on it.
At lunchtime, the captain of the school's football team approached the photography club, asking for a photographer for their next match against a rival school. When hearing that they might be paid for it, Clara speaks up slightly too enthusiastically, taking him up on the offer.
But with a dangerous supervillain on her back, is taking on another job such a good idea?
Cipper's POV:
It usually happens when I'm not paying attention to reality.
When my own thoughts seem to drag me so deep into myself that I cannot remember what the surface looks like. A blur. Suddenly... I couldn't see colour anymore. All I could feel was something cool, not numbing, covering me from head to toe, until when I look at myself in the mirror, there's nothing else there but an inky darkness, swirling over any recognisable feature that would make me: Cipper Blake.
Life is a whirlwind of recreation and devastation.
Sometimes the only thing that can really snap me out of it is a good slap to the face or a loud, jarring noise. Such as chair clattering loudly to the floor or a shouting voice like the one across the hall, blinking me back into existence.
I hadn't realised I was mid-swallowing my chunk of sandwich until I felt it slip down into my windpipe. It was at that moment that I was convinced I was about to die.
"I'll do it."
I heard the girl say to... whomever. I couldn't care less to look. I was too busy suffocating on my lunch to focus on the details. This will be the death of me. Imagine how pathetic that'd look on my gravestone. Death by: Sandwich. This is it. This is where I was going to pass. Goodbye world that never saw me. Goodbye everyone in this damned school that never cared enough to notice me.
I could already begin to feel a comforting darkness fading in at the edges of my vision, the lack of oxygen beginning to starve my brain...
"Oh snap out of it, Cipper! Geez, such a drama queen!" A hard hit to my back was enough to bring it up and I coughed it up onto the other half of my sandwich, sitting half unwrapped in foil. I sucked in precious air into my lungs and wiped away fresh tears that sprung into my eyes. As I steadied my breath, he stared down at the unappetising, soggy sandwich from my throat in front of me. "...Disgusting."
I ignored his rude remark, brushing it away like I always did. "T-thanks, Steve."
If he had eyes, I easily imagined him rolling them. "I didn't ask for your gratitude, kid. If I didn't need you to live then I would have let you go."
I began folding the foil over the inedible soggy sandwich, sighing through my nose and nodded. "Yeah yeah... I get it."
He didn't respond, only settled himself back down into the crease of my hood.
Steve is... how do I explain it? Not exactly what I would call a friend, but not an acquaintance either. It's difficult to put a name on the relationship you have with yourself and an inky, negative monster sitting on your shoulder 24/7. I'm sure that if people could see him like I do, they'd think he's some sort of daemon or some kind of familiar to me. But I think he's just a highly negative, extremely greedy monster with a party hat that just likes to whisper nasty things to me all the time and eats all the ice cream that enters a short radius from me. He can shapeshift, so his appearance can change depending on how he feels, except for some very visible, jarring differences.
Such as the constant tear stream down his left eye and his party hat.
Don't ask me why people can't see him. And don't question my sanity either. I can tell you for sure- he's real.
Scrunching the foil up as tightly into a ball as I could get it, I aimed at the bin sitting against the wall, half of its rubbish spilling out of the side, and threw it. I missed by a long shot, as it rolled by a group of chatting girls instead, one of them unnoticeably kicking it to the side.
"You can't even throw something two steps away from you."
I grit my teeth and was about to tell Steve to leave me alone but my focus wained when a laugh from the other end of the room tickled my ears.
Clementine. Happy, contented, joyful Clementine.
Hayate stood next to her, patiently waiting, holding her pile of posters to her chest while her friend grew up to the size of the boy in front of her, punching him playfully in the arm. He winced and drew back, but was smiling. With any group that Clementine was introduced to, she could befriend them instantly. It's strange. How someone as small in height as her has the largest presence of anybody here in the room. They all appeared to be laughing about a joke I had missed while I was choking on my sandwich.
I wish I was more like her.
God, her smile was like sunshine itself... but better. The way her dark braided hair bounced lightly around her shoulders as she laughed had my heart dancing. I hadn't realised I had stopped to lean my chin into my palm to watch until Steve started up again.
"Give it up, Lover Boy. She probably doesn't even know who you are."
Heat rushed to my ears and my hands instinctively went to cup them self consciously, the noise of the cafeteria being muffled in the action. I hated the way they stuck out like an elephant. I feel like it makes the redness more visible. Suddenly shy of the world around me, I turned away from looking at her to stare at the crumbs on the table.
"...I know..."
"It just isn't the way things work, kid. You're invisible to everyone."
"...You're right..."
Most of the time, I feel so desensitised to the world and the goings on in it. Maybe that's what makes me so unnoticeable. I just switch off and live in my own head, recurring thoughts playing over and over. My life feeling smaller and smaller.
I don't blame anyone in this school for not noticing me, or if they do, not talking to me. I wouldn't want to befriend me either. I think it took me too long to find a friendship group since the beginning of secondary school. I was too focussed on myself and the things I was going through so I kept pushing people away.
I guess that was selfish of me, huh.
So I remind myself of this: It's your fault you're alone. It's because of the way you are. You're uninteresting, boring and worthless. So don't moan about it. Just get on with it.
Steve's pressure on my shoulder suddenly felt immensely heavy. I had to grip the side of the table to keep from toppling over.
A boisterous laughter brought me out of myself and I perked up, quickly glancing towards the double doors to my left. Adam and his group were walking in, a shy victim on his heels holding the bully's bag for him and scribbling something down hurriedly in a text book with Adam's name on the front. Suddenly panicked, I jumped to my feed and snatched my messenger bag off the floor, slipping away through the crowd before he could notice I was here.
Although he seemed to be occupied with someone else to bully today, I didn't want to take any chances. I quickly made it out of the canteen, leaving the building to go outside.
The moment I was outside, I released a sigh of relief. The sun felt warm on my cheeks for a second but the autumn breeze whistling through the sleeves of my hoodie and collar of my shirt chilled my skin. Shivering, I stuffed my hands into my pockets and glanced around. People were walking about, talking, laughing and gossiping in pairs or groups between themselves.
No one gave me a second glance. I wish I was part of some sort of friendship group. I wish I had someone other than Steve to talk to.
The breeze picked up, seeping through the material of my hoodie to my sensitive hands. Hugging it closer to myself, I trudged towards the field. The farther away from the school's buildings I got, the less I could sense the pulsating energy of power in the air. The chatter of voices died down behind the rustle of whispering orange leaves as I approached the large oak tree stood in the middle of the place.
A safe haven. Quiet for now but not for long. In summer, this oak tree was the busiest part of the school.
I stopped at the base of the tree, hands still in pockets and stared up at the detailed canopy of leaves above. A maze of branches and countless leaves spiralling and twisting around each other, fighting for the sunlight that was somewhere above. The oak tree was huge. It only reminded me of how small I felt.
How insignificant I was.
I turned to look back at Queensgate school.
How little anybody cared about me.
The weight on my shoulders became heavier, almost unbearable.
"No one can see you." Steve taunted.
I shut my eyes and tried to imagine I were somewhere else. Somewhere in loving arms and a safe place-
"You can never have what they do." His voice grew louder until it echoed through my mind, filling every part of my head with ugly jeers. It hurt, but I couldn't help but agree.
"You're right." I nodded slowly and fell to a crouch, suddenly finding it difficult to breath under what felt like an anchor tied to my back. Heavier. Heavier.
The cool feeling came back, starting from the point on my shoulder where Steve sat, enveloping my entire being. Up my neck, down my back, over my hands... heavier and heavier until suddenly- light.
I gasped, straightening up immediately and suddenly feeling lighter on my feet than ever. This wasn't a completely knew feeling. I've had this dozens of times before... but just to make sure I grabbed my phone from my pocket and tried my best to swipe to the camera despite leaving smeared stains of thick black ink over the screen. The image of myself on the screen would never cease to shock me. Every inch of my pale skin was gone, even my hair was covered in the thick inky blackness. On my head sat a party hat like the one Steve has with a dark ribbon flowing out. It circled around my body, the long string reaching my knees. Where my eyes should be, there were just glowing white orbs and a tear stain down the left side of my face though I couldn't feel it.
I guess most people would find that scary and knowing me, I would too... if it weren't for the way I was suddenly more hidden made me comfortable.
I lifted my hands up in front of me and ink splashed onto the grass at my feet. There was no skin exposed anywhere.
In a way, it felt like I wasn't myself.
It was amazing.
The world now drowned in greyscale tones, I bent my knees and sprang up. Closing my eyes to feel the wind rush passed my ears and the wind through my hair, there was half a moment where I completely weightless. No weight on my back keeping my feet on the ground. Just space all around me, a second of feeling like I wasn't on this earth anymore. As quickly though, gravity caught up and I began to fall. Angling my body right, I landed on one of the thickest tree branches right at the top of the oak tree, bending upon impact before sitting down with my legs swinging over the side.
You know that feeling when you're underwater and you close your eyes... nothing above you, an abyss underneath you. Like in the deep end. You can feel the pressure of the water on your body and your ears, but it's not unbearable. Moments like that make you feel like you've left the world behind.
As I sat on the branch, staring up at a colourless sky, that's exactly how I would describe how I felt. All sound was muffled, noise of the city and school. Still there of course but somewhere far away. It felt like someone had put cotton wool over all of my senses and it was oddly pleasant.
Stretching my hand up towards the clouds, I wished to reach out and touch them. I wondered if I'd be able to reach them if I jumped high enough. My head felt fuzzy and light, parts of my conciousness slipping then coming back in parts. All I was aware of was that I had been up there for a while until I heard her.
"Cipper? Cipper!"
Shocked to hear my own name being called, I almost fell off of the branch I was sitting on.
Wait... how did I get up here again?
More importantly, could it really be who I hoped it was? And at the same time dreaded?
Through the leaves of the tree I saw Clementine and Hayate walking towards the base of the tree. Clementine had her hands cupped to her mouth, shouting my name over and over. Hayate hung a few steps back from her holding the last couple of posters she had on her and rolled her dark eyes. She clearly didn't want to be here. Their voices drifted up on the wind.
"Tiny, this is a waste of time. Why would he be interested in something like a talent show?" she sighed and tucked her straight dark hair behind her ear. "Who even is this guy anyway?"
Clementine let her hands drop to her sides as she turned to her friend. "We went to the same primary school together. He has like uh... blonde hair and wears a plaster on his nose." She glanced around her. "I saw him in the cafeteria earlier but he dissapeared. Can't have gone far though."
Hayate pouted. "...Yeah. Still doesn't answer my question. Your description to me doesn't ring any bells. besides, that doesn't answer my first question. Why would he care about the talent show?"
"Why wouldn't he?" She answered quickly. "Everyone has there hidden talents you know. I mean, just look at you and your awesome violin skills." Clementine made a gesture with her hands of a violin under her chin, bouncing around and pretending to play an invisible one.
Hayate's posture was as straight as a pencil. "Not funny. You care too much about people, Tiny. And it shows."
Clementine stopped and beamed. "Thank you!"
Turning around herself one last time, she sighed and took a poster from her friend's pile and put it on the grass. Then, picking up a stone, she placed it over the top to stop the wind from snatching it away.
Hayate wrinkled her nose. "...What are you doing?"
She stood up and turned away from the poster, walking passed Hayate casually. Waving her hand for her to follow, she shrugged nonchalantly. "Leaving a poster for Cipper."
The girl followed, jogging a bit to catch up. "...You are a special one." She sighed, shaking her head. "But that's what makes you, you I guess."
Clementine laughed and said something in reply, but it was muffled by the wind as they grew farther away. I watched them as the left the field and went back into the school building. As they moved away, the leaves were beginning to block my view, so I leaned forwards to try and see more of them.
More of her.
As soon as the door shut behind them, my heart felt like it was jumping out of my chest. I couldn't believe this. She knows my name.
She. Knows. My. Name.
I wanted to jump with happiness, opening my mouth to shout how the impossible just happened, but then the branch holding my weight snapped. I tumbled forward, everything becoming a blur as I fell through the leaves in a frenzy before landing on my back. Groaning, I sat up slowly, rubbing my back.
As I did, I felt the cool-ness move back over my body again, up my legs and over my chest to my shoulder. I gasped as it slid over my face, exposing my skin to sunlight again. It was only until afterwards did I find myself gasping for air and a realisation dawned on me.
I hadn't been breathing. Not at all since Steve had taken me over.
But none of that mattered now. I lay back on the grass, smiling giddily you myself as I replayed the event over and over in my head.
She knew my name. She knew who I was.
"Don't get your hopes up too much, dummy." Steve jeered, sitting on my chest and glaring down at me. "You'd better be thanking me right now. I held on just a little longer as you fell so that you wouldn't break any bones. Heck- you'd probably be dead right now if it weren't for me."
I shut my eyes and all I saw was Clementine's smile.
"Thanks, Steve."
(A/N: Aaahh I said I would post this last month but it's late lol.
But that's okay because I've been really busy! What with? Turning Frame By Frame into a WEBTOON! ❤️ I finally have the time to do it!
I'm not sure if I'll still be posting here to be honest. I love writing, but I love to draw more. I'll post announcements and things concerning Frame By Frame here, but if you really want to reach me and/or follow Clara's and Cipper's story, I recommend following me on Instagram! (And very soon, Webtoon.)
Thanks so much for reading if you have made it this far. Hope you're all staying safe and washing your hands. )
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