TW: talk of suicide! If you are triggered by mentions of suicide or self harm please do not read. It is not necessary to read my book if it puts you in danger! I care for all of you and want you to be safe❤️ also, I am not a suicide or self harm expert I speak from only my basic knowledge of the subjects. I'm sorry if I use a wrong term or mistake something, you can correct me. Please be safe and know you are worth every minute❤️❤️👍🏻

Lin nearly dropped to his knees. He had walked into his dressing after a meeting with Lac(about what would happen next for the famous show, having the OBC gone)at the theatre hoping to find the jacket he forgot. He held the lined piece of paper so tight his knuckles turned white and tears began to roll down his cheeks. His brain could barely understand the well crafted note due to utter worry, confusion and despair. Why would she do this...?

Hello,
I'm hoping you will be the one to find this letter and not one of the cleaning staff but if that's what may be thank you for giving this letter to Lin Manuel Miranda.

Dearest, Lin
I'm sorry I could not say this to your face, but I didn't want to risk you stopping me.
In a way I hope you do, it would confirm my assumption of your own feeling towards me, feeling of love.
I can only pray my assumptions are wrong, if they are wrong you'll be able to get over my death much easier and without as much pain.
I have chosen to end my life, and you're probably wondering why. The truth is time stopped inside me a long time ago and I feel now I have no purpose.
I also don't wake up for anything anymore so what's the point of waking up when all I wish to do is go back to sleep?
Do not cry for me, do not lose sleep, it would pain me in heaven if you did. I want you to continue on
knowing this.
I love you, deeply. You have given me a place to call home, a safe place. You have given me a reason to smile but now that we have taken our last bows that reason is gone.
My reason is you.
Unlike me, you will go on a write beautiful melodies and act in amazing things, you don't need me.
By the time this letter has gotten to you I've already perched myself on my fire escape or you've heard from the news and are finding this letter after.
I love you Lin.
Aideu, best of friends and best of men.

He ran faster then he ever has in his entire life, getting from the theatre wasn't to difficult seeing as the New York night life or lack of was eerily quiet. Up the stairs knowing the elevator would take to long. He burst through her unlocked door hoping and praying he wasn't to late because...

He needed her. He needed her more then she knew. She was his reason, his inspiration. Her smile and her laugh, her touch and her mind.

"Pippa, please don't" he whispered, he couldn't bare the sight of the women he was slowly falling for balancing on the edge of a railing daring to fall into the New York street. "Lin" she breathed out, the breath she didn't know she was holding in. "It's me Pippa, listen to me and only me okay? Please if you're going to do this let me say goodbye" he begged, of course he wasn't saying goodbye, he was determined to get her down but knowing Pippa she'd hear him out. "O...okay Lin" she stuttered. He took a deep breath.

"Pippa, my love. Please. I want you to earnestly hear me. I want you to you're beautiful, so beautiful you take my breath away every single day. I haven't yet gotten used to it. Not just your physical beauty but your brain, you are so smart Pippa so smart, so incredibly smart. Oh, and your voice, my god Pip your voice. If I could only here one thing for the rest of my life it would be your gorgeous voice singing helpless to me. Your hilarious texts my darling pipmoji, I don't know if I'll laugh like that again. And the way you make me feel...like I'm the best thing ever, you make me feel light, young and buoyant. I'm not ready to say goodbye yet Pippa, because....I love you, more then you think. I love you and I am so inlove with you. Your assumptions are correct so please come down so I can show you how much I love you" he explains, tears stream down her face and his. His hair blows in the night winds and the pieces falling from her messy bun stick to her tear soaked face.

   "How can you look at me the same after this?" She asks through a choked breath. "Because this is just one part, one song to your musical called life Pippa. One that I want to see you continue writing" he says, a sob takes over her body as she sways on the railing. She steadies herself. "I can't Lin.. I'm not worth enough for you" she says, he lets out a choke. "Pip,you're perfect please...I love you...Dearest Please..." he begs "come back to me" he asks, she closes her eyes.

   Memories flash through her mind. Every kiss on stage and the one drunken one off stage. Every late night rehearsal, every time they've held hands. Ever cuddle on the lounge couch and every coffee with a brownie shared. Every hand, cheek and forehead kiss, every hug. All the bad jokes and cheesy pick up lines. She knows it all.

    She carefully steps off the railing. For Lin, the whole process is painful. It's the longest 20 seconds of his life until she takes a step towards him and he engulfs her in his arms. "Oh Pippa, thank god" he says stroking her hair. "Please my love, come to me next time" he says, she looks up and nods. He places a tender kiss to her forehead and another one to her lips. "I love you, I love you so much" he says, she hugs him tighter. "I love you too Lin" she says...

      Later that night they are laying in Pippa'a bed. He's singing soft songs holding her close to him, she's using his chest as a pillow. "Promise me love, you'll talk to me when you need someone" he says, she smiles and replies "I'll always come back to you"