we were done with recording for now so i grabbed my phone and walked into a different room to call ellie.

calling.... ellie 😎😎

Sup bitch what's up

i heard her take deep breaths, i was beginning to become nervous. what if this was serious?

Emma are you over Adam?

everything inside me just shut off in a way. i felt emotionless, but at the same time couldn't control what i was feeling.

adam's my ex-boyfriend, well the only boyfriend i've had actually. i haven't told any of my friends about him except for ellie, and my other friend hannah. they've always been there for me through everything, why wouldn't this include everything right?

emma? are you there?

shit. i kinda forgot i was on the phone, but i get my shit together since i'm being a little bitch about a situation i can't control.

yeah, yeah sorry. what about him?

well um.. he asked me to talk to you for him. he misses you.

he missed me? i'm sorry what? he broke up with me. now that i have some followers he wants back? or is that why? i don't fucking know how could i? and what the fuck is he doing still talking to ellie anyway?

okay.

emma he's changed i promise. i wouldn't tell you this if he hadn't. he just wants you back. he told me he'd do anything!

i felt myself gulp as ethan had opened the door of the room i was in, obviously looking for me. he closed the door quietly since i was on the phone, and now stood next to me respectfully but i felt uncomfortable. i didn't want him to know what i had to say to her.

ellie he fucking abused me!

she knew that.

and she still fucking is giving him chances? no. that's not fucking okay. ethan's standing right there so now i know i'm gonna be fucking questioned. i can't deal with this fucking bullshit i need another coffee.

emma i know but he's changed.

it took everything inside of me not to curse her out on the phone with ethan standing so nearby. i just hung up and shoved my phone into my pocket.

i turned to ethan, he was staring at the ground, mad. not mad.. fucking furious. why is he so grumpy?

he was leaning up against the purple wall with his arms crossed before he looked up at me, it was fucking intimidating as hell but i wouldn't show him that.

"who fucking abused you emma?" he questioned me in a stern voice, but i didn't wanna talk about it. not now. whenever i talk about it i break down, and i can't let them see me break down.

"it's nothing ethan." i turn around to head out of the room before an arm grasped onto my wrist, i turn around quickly. his tongue was making an imprint on his cheek from the inside. i didn't know what to do.

the fact he could just stop me from moving, or just fucking make me scared with him just holding my wrist, scared me. it wouldn't usually but after very briefly talking about that.. i just don't know what happened.

i slapped his hand, removing my arm from his and gave him the dirtiest glare before walking out of the room, pissed at him.

i didn't know why i fucking was okay? it was just plain dumb bitch stupid but i fucking did and it wasn't the end of the world? he was just trying to be there for me and i acted like a fucking princess who didn't wanna be touched by him.

lol i fucking hate myself.

i walked out of the door and was almost immediately stopped by grayson.

"emma where'd you go? i was looking for you!" he smiled widely and i was confused. why's he so happy?

i shrugged before crossing my arms, "i had a phone call." he just nodded, understanding why i had just disappeared.

"well we just ordered pizza, hope you like pineapple!" i smiled at him as he walked over to james, as soon as i turned the other way it felt as if i had hit a wall.

it was ethan. of course.

why the fuck does he feel like a fucking wall i don't think that's fucking normal. i also don't think it's fucking normal the amount i use fucking but it's fine i'm here for it.

"watch where you're going." ethan said sternly before walking towards grayson and james. well ouch?

i rolled my eyes, is he really mad at me? this is my fault? ugh..

i look at my phone, thinking of an excuse of why i needed to leave. i don't wanna be around anyone right now i want my fucking cat.

"hey guys, i gotta go." i smiled before heading towards the front door, but being stopped by ethan.

he looked down at me with furrowed eyebrows, "why?" i gulped, i didn't know what to say..

"hannah needs me bye." i say before opening the door, only to get it closed again, by ethan.

"she can wait. we need to talk?" i looked to grayson and james and they just seemed confused.

james stood up, coming over to where we were, he looked like he had pity in his eyes, along with grayson who was doing the same.

grayson furrowed an eyebrow looking at ethan, back at me, then ethan.

"youre scaring her."

was it that obvious? i don't want them to think i'm a little bitch, i know how to stand my ground. i was just a little worried that's all.

"guys what the fuck i'm fine." i say brushing everything off with a laugh. grayson didn't laugh. he kept eye contact with ethan, clenching his jaw.

ethan's jawline is better.

"grayson dude i'm good." i smiled at him, putting a hand on his arm to break him out of his eye contact with ethan.

he just looked at me. he was sad for me? why?

"grayson, i'm fucking good." i smiled while laughing. this time less faked. it wasn't that big of a deal and grayson was making it one.

ethan still hadn't said anything.

but he looked to me every other second.

"you can't leave because we need to finish filming emma." i nodded and smiled.

"see we're all good here gray."