chapter song - bitch by allie x

Kyle won't stop laughing.

I've been lying on the couch for ten minutes straight, letting him laugh his ass off, before deciding that I'll make a sandwich while I wait. My phone sits on the counter while he wheezes through the speaker at me.

While aggressively taking a bite out of my dull sandwich, Kyle manages to catch his breath and I scowl at the phone.

"I can't believe out of every girl in Toronto," Kyle says. "You ended up with-"

Another wheeze cuts him off and I sigh, slumping forward so my elbows rest on the countertop, the hard marble indenting my skin. I take another bite of the sandwich but the bread is chewy (and kind of sweet) and it just looks sad the more I stare at my pitiful creation.

"You're the only man I know who would go out for a quick one night stand only to end up with his ex," Kyle gasps out.

I roll my eyes. "We didn't even do anything."

"What, you didn't even have sex?" he asks.

"No, we were both drunk as shit. Clothes were mostly still on and everything."

"So...so you made out like teenagers, which is actually kind of fitting because High School sweethearts and everything-"

"Kyle."

"-and then passed out fully clothed on the bed before anything could happen."

I sigh. "Yes, technically, yes that's what happened."

There's a short pause on the other end of the phone. "That's not even funny, that's just sad."

"Kyle! For the love of God!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," he laughs. "Look, it's probably better that you didn't do anything. You did seem like you wanted to see her again."

"Yeah, as a friend," I say and Kyle scoffs.

"Uh, no, that's definitely not how this will end up."

"Goodbye Kyle."

"Wait, wait, wait!" he calls out, frazzled. I grunt, dropping my head until my forehead touches the counter. "Have you been ignoring your manager?"

"Of course I have. I'm on a therapeutic vacation and I'm unemployed."

"Well, he managed to get a hold of my number and has been harassing me about you," Kyle says.

I lift my head up and frown. "Why would he...its only been a couple of days, nothing could have happened. Did he tell you what he wanted?"

"No, he just said that you need to call him back as soon as you can."

I groan. It feels like it's barely been a day here in Toronto and any kind of rest of release of stress seems to feel completely impossible to find now.

"Do I have to call him back?" I grumble.

"Yes, child," Kyle says. "Because your management is scary and I don't like being yelled by them."

"Fine, fine," I hiss out. "But later. Not right now. Let me have my date first."

"Date?!" Kyle yells out and my eyes widen.

"Goodbye!" I shout into the phone and slam down on the red button to turn the call off.

The silence that suddenly fills the apartment would usually be alarming. Back in the U.S, the emptiness of such a large space that had too many couches with no one on it, too many chairs at the dining table, too many glasses and plates in the cupboards. In between games, silence used to be a blessing but when the accident happened, it just felt so lonely.

Everything was empty.

But now, I stand in the kitchen, feeling the cold countertop beneath my fingers and realize nothing is actually silent. There's a car horn going off on the intersection outside, a bird is perched on the balcony railing and won't shut up, someone is yelling obscenities and the ding of the elevator goes by outside my door.

It's quiet yet overwhelmingly noisy at the same time.

It's kind of perfect.

Stretching my arms above my head, I sigh, heading towards the bedroom. "Come on, Ty. There's a whole city outside, you can't spend your vacation in this apartment," I mumble to myself.

***

Being in Toronto is sort of weird. I know that in any other place I would be clamouring to do all the tourist spots. But, there's something about this city that makes me want to avoid the main places. I want to find the domestic marvels, places that most don't bother to look at unless they've lived there for years.

I find myself wandering the city, forgoing transit and letting myself walk down odd streets with vendors selling empanadas on the same stretch that a giant marijuana store is open. Gentle, live music plays out of a hole-in-the-wall bar that must transform itself once the evening comes. Plants litter the entrance of a bakery selling the city's best pies, a bright pink cherry blossom latte finds itself between my fingers and the sun beats down on the side of my face, warming the skin and glinting off my sunglasses.

It's odd. I imagined that a vacation would be best if I was going out skiing or swimming out in the ocean everyday. Something so far away from daily life that I wouldn't have to even think about everything that has happened. But doing this means that even just for a moment, I can pretend that this is everyday life.

No worries, no responsibilities, no phone calls every hour of the day.

No more disappointment from everyone I face.

The most I have to worry about is moving my laundry into the dryer.

I sit down on a bench at a park near my apartment after wandering around the city. There's a gentle, dull ache coming from the bottom of my feet and my body thrums with the feeling of finally moving and being active after wasting away for so long. My shoulder didn't act up today either which is a blessing, but now that the day is nearing its end, I can feel a small tinge of pain coming from the back of the injury.

I gently roll my shoulder through the exercises I was told to do and wince occasionally when it pulls too much. I jerk, however, when something rubs up against my bare ankle. A sharp pain shoots through my shoulder and I hiss through my teeth.

"Fuck, fuck," I gasp. It isn't the first time I've accidentally snagged the injury, but Jesus if it doesn't hurt like a bitch every time.

After managing to remember how to breathe properly, I look down and see a cat staring at me.

It's a little thing with fur in patchy colours and tilts its head, wide eyes looking at me. I stare back, disgruntled. It quickly shifts its eyes slightly to the side of my face and leans forward, shoving its head against my leg.

"Um," I say.

I have no idea if this is a street cat or someone's actual pet but either way I'm not sure I want to touch it. The cat shoves its head against my leg again then sits, staring at my forehead.

"Yeah, I know, you're cute," I say. "I'm not...I'm not gonna pet you."

The cat lifts a paw and pats my knee.

"No, I'm good, thank you. You can...you can leave me alone now."

"Fig!" A voice yells and I frown. Who yells that outside in public?

"Fig! I'm coming, I'm coming! I'll never abandon you, I'm sorry!" The same voice is shouting but this time is coming closer.

The cat's head whips around and stares at something across the park. I frown, turning my head and seeing a woman running in a frenzied state towards me. My eyes widen and I quickly look down at the cat, pointing a finger at it, which the cat proceeds to try and bite.

"You're Fig?" I ask.

The cat just looks at me.

The woman comes to a stop beside the bench and picks up the cat who reluctantly allows her after grabbing onto my pant legs for dear life. She mutters something to the cat then whips a head of thick, slightly red hair up and out of her face.

"Sorry about that, she usually doesn't take to other people but apparently she prefers you over me now," the girl says then looks up with an awkward smile. "You know how cats are, they just hate...everyone..."

She trails off, frowning before her eyes widen. I blink, squinting before my eyes also go wide and a surprised laugh bursts from my lips.

"Well shit."

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