Chào các bạn! Vì nhiều lý do từ nay Truyen2U chính thức đổi tên là Truyen247.Pro. Mong các bạn tiếp tục ủng hộ truy cập tên miền mới này nhé! Mãi yêu... ♥

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Just because things went back to being awkward between Luke and I, that didn't slow us down with trying to track down evidence.

I crept out of my room in the darkness of the house, the only thing lighting my pathway was the memory  of where everything was and the help of the little hallway night light.  Of course, it only took a few feet though.  After all, their bedroom was directly on the other side of my wall. 

Quietly, I pushed their bedroom door open and peered inside.  The dim light from the hall spread through their room when I opened the door and landed on their bed.  Clare was on the farthest side, sleeping with her head turned away from me and towards the window.  Luke was sleeping on the side closest to where I was standing in their doorway.  Sleeping on his stomach, his head was buried in his pillow.  He looked tired enough.  Well, too bad for poor little Lucas. 

Knowing how quiet I needed to be, I moved towards their bed, testing my feet with every step, hoping the floor doesn't creek.  By the time I got to the bed, I was gazing down at Luke sleeping under the covers.  His cheek pressed into the side of his pillow, I could see his closed eyes.  No lines of worry, no stress, his even breathing... it was nice, seeing him look so at peace.  I had to disturb that though.  It's not like I could wait until morning where I wouldn't get a chance to talk to him (it was the first day back to school tomorrow morning and with Clare still home in the morning too, we wouldn't be able to talk freely).

That means it was important I talk to him now; it was that important in my mind.  But that would mean not waking up Clare and with what happened next, I didn't think I'd be able to avoid that.

"Jack," I hissed upon seeing him push open their door even more and walk in.  It was my own fault, really.  I was suppose to put him in his cage for when we go to sleep.  Considering it was one in the morning on a school night, I should be in bed and he in his cage next to my bed.  However, since I was up this whole time looking through the file, and since Jack wouldn't stop whining to get out, I let him out.  He would just sit on my bed and watch me read through it all.  But, I left the room to go wake Luke.  Of course Jack would follow me.

Looking up at me when he stopped next to me, it was only for a second.  In the next, he got a running start and before I could stop him, Jack jumped up on their bed.  I tried to grab him and get him off but it was too late.  He climbed up towards the head of the bed and when his cute little face was in front of Luke's he began licking his chin and cheek. 

"What the..." I heard Luke mutter in his sleep.  Which was no longer sleep.

By the time I picked him up and set him back on the ground, Luke was up thanks to Jack.  Looking at his expression, his eyebrows were dipped and eyes delayed from opening.  But when they did, he sat up in bed and found me standing right before him.

"Albany?" he whispered, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as he took me in in the darkness.  His eyes looking over me quickly, his eyes found mine again before looking to Jack. "What's going on?"

"I need to show you something," I whispered and before I knew it, Jack jumped up on the bed again and started to make his way towards Clare like he had all the right in the world.  Luke grabbed him though and pulled the little guy in his lap, rubbing his head and Jack quickly gave in to his mastering touch. 

Standing up with Jack in his arms, I saw Luke was supporting a long tee-shirt like usual and shorts even though it was winter.  I was the same way.  As long as the covers kept me warm, I was good.  Looking up into his eyes, from what I could see of them, I saw the quickest hint of sadness and I wasn't sure why.  Before I could uncover anything else from his eyes or expression, he walked with Jack quietly out of the room and into the hall, me following behind.

Shutting their door quietly, hoping Clare wouldn't wake, we headed back to my room where my lamp lit the entire area and our faces. We shut my door behind us and headed towards my bed.  He set Jack down on my bed before he sat on the edge, looking over to all the papers scattered as I climbed up and sat with my back against the headboard.  He didn't look too happy now.

"You have school tomorrow and I have work.  Did that cross your mind?" He asked, not sounding exactly mad but he sure wasn't happy.

I sighed.  "Look I couldn't fall asleep.  I've stayed up late the whole break. You can't expect me to be able to just fall asleep early now.  Plus, Jack was crying again.  So why not skim through the file if I couldn't sleep?"

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.  He didn't say anything for a moment.  Finally he turned towards me more and lifted his legs, crossing them on the bed as he completely faced me and all the papers before us.  "So you must have found something good if it couldn't wait until tomorrow night."

I nodded, lifting up the specific papers I woke him up over.  "Yeah, I did.  I finally found her parents names," I smiled.  It was actually a big deal.  I always use to ask her questions about her past.  Like who are my grandparents?  What did they do to make you such a heartless person?  Even if I asked nicely about anything that had to do with the past - a very rare event if I tried to get something out of her - she would shut down and never say a word on the matter.  I was always curious about it.  And finally, I had an answer. 

I handed Luke the papers and he looked them over.  When he found the names, he read them aloud.  "Regina Spencer... and Martin Spencer."

I nodded.  "Now, I know it's only their names.  But if you can somehow track them down, we could get answers then--"

"No," he said, shaking his head.  I just stared at him.

"No?  What do you mean no?"

"That's way too risky."

"What?" I asked.  He couldn't be serious. This was huge and could help us out more than anything has so far.  "Do you know how important it is?"

"Like I said, it's too risky," he said, setting down the papers in front of him.  Looking with sympathy into my eyes, he explained it to me.  "If we find them, question them, that will be a little more than suspicious, especially if they then contact Clare and tell her."

I scoffed.  "But they don't talk with her.  Tell me something: has Clare ever once told you about them?"

He pursed his lips and after a moment, shook his head.  "No.  Every time I brought it up or asked, she would get pissy and block me out."

"Exactly,"  I sighed.  "I mean come on, this could really help us."

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again.  Full of sleep and the need to just get out of this mess of finding evidence, he didn't want to be doing this especially now.  But he could see how serious this was and would take it seriously.

"You could only find their names?" he asked.

I nodded.  "That's all it said.  Look," I handed him another paper with their names on it.  "Every time I see their name, it's from when they had to take Clare to the hospital as a kid.  This one, Clare suffered from a head injury.  From a very bad 'fall'."  I frowned.  "I think she was abused and that's exactly what we need to find out."

"Alright, this is what I will do.  I will look into their backgrounds, find out what I can at the station that could help.  But we can't go and meet these people.  It's too risky."

I bit my lip and all I could do was nod. It was a real disappointment to me. I wanted to get evidence but it was more than that.  I've been wondering about these people for years, curious to know what happened to Clare, who my grandparents were.... Always wondering with no answers.  And now, we have something that could lead to everything I always wanted to know.  I understood where Luke was coming from, that we couldn't interrogate them.  It just sucked.

I watched as Jack climbed up closer to me, walking over all the papers before he sat right in front of Luke and me, spreading out over the paper and making me smile. Inching his way towards Luke's lap, he climbed up over his legs and pressed his little paws into Luke's chest, getting leverage to lick just under his chin.

"Jack," Luke said, smiling slightly as he moved away from him and Jack moved back towards all the papers where he laid down.  "Have you been up this whole time?" Luke asked me a second later.

I nodded and I saw him look down in thought.  "You still need to go to school even if you are tired tomorrow."

"I know," I said, beginning to collect all the papers around me to put back in the file.  While I did, Jack had to move and as he did, he grabbed a piece of paper in his mouth and started walking off towards the end of my bed.  Chucking, I reached over towards him to get him and Luke managed to pick him up for me.

Smiling, Luke pried the piece of paper from his mouth and gave it to me.  At least it wasn't anything important and I already read it, I noticed.  Jack was a trouble maker.  At the same time, I liked that about him. 

"You have dog toys for a reason."  Pulling Jack up into his lap, he ran his hand over his fur and scratched him in his sweet spot.  I could tell Luke loved Jack too.  Looking back up to me though, his small smile fell as did his eyes the moment they met mine.

"Well, I'll be... getting back to bed.  I need to wake up in a few hours.  So do you," he mumbled, setting Jack down on my bed and turning to stand up.  Moving towards the door, I was about to tell him something.  To stay because I needed to say something.  But I had nothing to say.  I just didn't want him to leave.

Closing the door behind him, it was just me and Jack.  Shuffling all the papers into the file in the order they were in before, I stood up and walked over to my closet, setting it up on one of the shelves.  Now that I had a dog, I couldn't leave it on the floor under my bed.  Jack picked a fight with everything he could possibly reach.  It was entertaining seeing him wrestle my clothes, a shoe, his own cage, the blanket in his cage he would constantly drag out.... He was a handful but he was worth it.

By the time I was laying down in bed, I didn't have the heart to put him back in the cage.  Laying on my side under the covers, Jack made himself comfortable against me as he laid down to and went to sleep. I followed soon after.

***

I usually am not in the mood when I wake up to go to school.  So imagine just how cheerful I was this morning.  What sucked even worse was that Natalie was gone today still since she wasn't back from her family trip for Christmas.  And where I was now was the worse hour of the day.  A class I hate with a bitch of a teacher. Chemistry with Mrs. Dugan.  The same lady that disrespected me more than some of the kids, the one that I bitched it out, who taught the class I struggled the most at.

She was passing out worksheets for us and when she got to me at my lonely table, she stopped, squinted down at me and observed. I happily did the same in disgust up to her.  Her sandy hair, long nose with glasses perched at the end of them, thin straight lips.... Ugh.  I can't stand her.  She looked nearly as ugly as I wished Clare to be.

"Is there something the matter, Albany?  You look rather tired.  Or drained," she said in a suggesting tone I didn't like.  Suggesting what, I wasn't sure.  Maybe staying up late and worshiping the devil?  Out late doing drugs? 

"Well, this is my most boring class.  That might be it," I noted.

She slapped down the worksheet on my table and I smirked, happy to get under her skin.  By the time she was done and stood before the class again, she began to talk.  Not a minute into her rambling did the phone ring and she had to answer it though. 

While she was on the phone, her eyes flickered to me for some reason before she said, "Alright, I'll send her down.  Yep, goodbye."  Hanging up the phone, her eyes found mine again as she walked back around to the front of the class. "Albany, your father is here to get you."

I raised my eyebrows.  She couldn't get anything right, could she. And she was the one that thought she knew everything about me.   Step-father. Step.  Even that still made me cringe when thinking of Luke. Of course, at that moment that wasn't my first thought.  It was why the hell is Luke here to get me?  I tried thinking of an explanation but I couldn't find one as I stood up, collected all my things from my desk, and threw them in my bag.

By the time I got down to the attendance office, I saw Luke leaning against the hallway wall, waiting for me.  Taking him in, he was in full uniform as expected.  Like he said and I knew, he had to work.  It was strange because he was working extra hard and didn't need to be taking time off for any reason to come visit me at school.  Looking over the tan fabric, the gun on his belt, the badge and everything else that a cop required throughout the day, I was a little nervous. What could be so important to skip out on work for?

 "Hey," I said, standing before him by the time I got to him.  "What's going on?"

His tired eyes gazed down in mine, he crossed his arms and I watched him just study me for a minute.  Either because he was about to stay something big or because it had to do with me in an unusual manner.  I was guessing the first.

He confirmed it. "Remember what I said last night?  That I would look into Clare's parents but we wouldn't go see them?" He said in a smaller voice, close to a whisper.

"Yeah."

He pursed his lips and moved closer to me as he spoke.  It was more than distracting.  He looked so attractive in his uniform, hair framing his face perfectly, his fire green eyes, how familiar his lips looked.... Damn it, it just hurt. "Well... I looked into them. And I found some things that are really intriguing."

"Like what?"

"Like that her dad is in prison right now.  Not to mention, I found where they use to live.  45 minutes away.  Apparently, after her dad went to prison, her mom sold the house and moved to a different place she alone could afford."

"How would that help us?"

He smiled, his teeth shinning bright with a great idea.  "We can talk to her dad!  If he's in prison, it's not like he can contact Clare.  He doesn't have access to where she lives now.... I mean it's worth a shot considering he's in prison and what we are looking for could have something to do with that.  There is still some risky but it's very slim.  After that, I don't see the issue in checking out her old home.  We could talk to the current owners, figure out what they knew about the people that last lived there.  There is no harm in that either."

I smiled and nodded.  "That's awesome.  We are going now?"  I was excited.  I could feel myself nearly bouncing in place. 

He nodded. "Clare can't know about this so I don't see when else we can do it.  I took the rest of the day off.  We just need to be sure to be back to the house before Clare gets home."

I smirked.  "Pulling me out on the first day back.... My savior."

Luke rolled his eyes and even if just for that second, that tension was gone.  It was like a light switch with us.  Sometimes, you could just feel the awkwardness in the air.  Sometimes it was just gone before it comes back randomly, as quickly as a switch. It also depended on the situation.  Like now.  We had distraction all around us from our feelings, from facing each other freely.  We were looking for evidence and that kept our minds busy enough to put aside what has happened between us.  It was shocking, knowing that was only a few days ago.

"Alright lets go," he said and began walking towards the front doors, with me following behind.  Today would be a very interesting day. 

***

It was a long drive.  That would be a good example of when things get awkward around us.  Nothing to do, say, or keep our thoughts from roaming free.  And you could just feel the building of the tension, even through the country music that was playing the whole time.  Words between us were very minimal.  I looked out the window and he paid attention to driving.  The first few minutes were entertaining because I got to mess with all his equipment in the cop car but trust me, that didn't last.  It was as if we both knew what we were thinking; and what we were thinking was something we needed to shove in our past and never look at again.

"So what's the plan?" I asked, knowing we needed conversation if we didn't want the world to explode from so much tension.

"Well," he sighed.  "The more I think about it, the more I realize I was being irrational for pulling you from school to do this."

My eyebrows dipped and I could feel anger raise in me.  "Oh hell no, dude.  We are going!"

He glanced over to me and pursed his lips before looking back to the road.  "I know, I know." He reassured me.  "I'm just saying I didn't plan this out.  This is very sloppy."

"What's the issue?  You're a cop; they will let you in."

"Probably.  Once they see the crazy nut from the last town though, they may think differently."

He had a good point there.  What reason would I have for being there?  I sighed.  "I don't have to stay in the car, do I?"

He shook his head after thinking it over for a minute.  "No.  We just need to tell them something simple.  Like the truth. It's risky but we are just going to say that we are here because we found out who your grandfather is, that he was here, and that you just wanted to meet him.

I nodded.  It made sense I guess.  It shouldn't be that hard to see him. And with a story as simple as that, it should help.

Turns out, that did help. Luke pulled a few strings - rather big strings if you asked me - and we were granted access to go down and see him, face to face in a little room.  It was a large brick room, grey and dull with no windows, no nothing.  Just a small rectangular table and a few chairs on each side. I got the chills immediately.

"Will they be listening in?" I asked quietly under my breath from where I was sitting next to Luke.

"No, I checked." He looked very tense now and I don't think it had to do with me this time.  He was finally meeting his father-in-law.  What a special way to meet.

It seemed to take forever but finally, the door on the other side of the room opened.  A man stepped in and I could feel the chills travel up my body again.  I couldn't see the similarities at first.  Then, as I stared at him for who knows how long as he came to sit down across from us, I could see.  He had the structure of Clare's face, her nose.  Other than that, I didn't see much of a resemblance. 

He looked to be in his mid 60s.  He was small it seemed, and skinny.  Grey hair framed his face and he had a mustache as well.  His grey eyes were nearly as dull as the room but they were alive, fast to find me and Luke's faces.  Wearing a uniform himself, not similar to Luke's at all, he didn't have handcuffs on or anything but I didn't have an issue with that.  He looked harmless, I had a trained cop sitting next to me, and we just wanted to talk. 

"Martin Spencer?" Luke asked in a lower voice from next to me.

"Yeah?"

"Determining how you long you have been in this place is quite difficult.  Not to mention, first of all, how you got in since I didn't want to ask them.  I want you to tell me the answer.  And because I have dealt with enough criminals, I'll know if you are lying.  It's also not like you have a case to defend either."

I turned and stared at Luke for a moment and I saw something I thought had disappeared.  That mask, that blank face.... It was so strange to see him hide everything again and mask all but what the topic at hand was.  He was good at his job; that was clear enough.  And though I always found it frustrating as all hell because it meant I couldn't figure him out, right now... he seemed kind of sexy.  Of course, that was because he was acting more like the adult he actually was than he is around me.  It was also a very serious matter for us.

Turning back to look at Martin, I saw his eyes flash between the two of us.  He finally spoke, his voice very rough.  "How else do people get life in prison, boy?" He leaned forward towards us more, a wide smile spreading across his face as he looked between us. "Killing."

Luke nodded but I could feel him tense from next to me.  I couldn't blame him; I was halfway to the door it seemed.  "Why? Who? And how long have you been in?"

The man scoffed again. "Who?" he asked loudly, as if it were a joke and we should already know.  "Ha!  Who?  The guy that my bitch of a wife was fucking.  And there's your 'why.'  How long?  20 years."

Before Luke could say anything else, the guy looked between us again and I could see his eyes linger on me for a minute, as if trying to figure me out before going back to Luke.  His gaze turned more questioning.  "So," he coughed, eyes finding Luke's out of curiosity.  After all, he didn't know who we were or why we wanted to see him.  "Is this your girlfriend?"

That statement seemed to hit me in a sore spot and all I could do was stay as still as I could - and not dare look to Luke after that.  It was like the doctor's office all over again....

"No," Luke said coldly after a minute.  "She's my... stepdaughter."

"Ahhh," he smirked and looked back between us again. "You into cougars then, are you sonny?"

I couldn't help myself.  I liked what dear old grandpa said that time because it allowed me a true answer.  "More like lying sluts in their thirties."

It was double tension now.  Not only with Martin now, but that tension between Luke and I were back.  Luke tried to move on immediately after.  I could see that that mask was getting hard to keep on and Luke's anger wanted to come out.  It made sense.  After all, this guy was reasonable for whatever it was that Clare changed into: a monster.  And to Luke, that meant this guy was partially responsible for me getting abused and my shitty life in general.

"What was your relationship with your daughter like?" Luke asked, kind of harshly. 

"Before I answer these questions like I'm someone useful to you, why don't you folks tell me who the hell you are?"

This guy was crazy.  But he had good reason to wanting to know who we were before getting questioned.  Looking up to Luke, he just continued to stare at Martin, as if debating whether or not telling him the truth would help our case or not.

"First, answer me this," Luke said.  "Do you have any desire to contact your daughter or continue to have a relationship with her?"

He scoffed and he answered that one fast enough. "Ha! I haven't seen that little bitch in 20 years.  Have no need to.  It's not like she ever cared to reach out to me."

Luke glanced to me and sighed before looking back to the man.  Before Luke could say anything though, Martin's eyes fell on me and I could see the wheels start to turn in his head.  Looking me over, he was putting it together.  How old I looked, my appearance.... Luke noticed too and stayed quiet, seeing if he would figure it out himself. 

"How old are you, girl?" He asked me.

"17."

He squinted his eyes at me.  "A little old to be her daughter...." he mumbled under his breath before he eyed me again and said even louder.  "But I see you in her.  You're Clare's daughter."

I nodded and looked back up to Luke who continued to observe this guy.  "Ha!" He coughed again before he went on. "I knew that child would turn into a little whore that young."  His eyes found Luke again.  "And you being her stepfather, a whore you married.  Am I right?"

Luke nodded, his face straight still. "Yes, I married your daughter.  And now, I want to know about you."

He took that in for a minute.  And just for a second, just a second, he looked at me with what appeared to be some form of affection at realizing I was his granddaughter.  It faded soon though and his quick eyes were back to moving back and forth between us.

"Out of pure curiosity?  I doubt it," he said.

I leaned forward, looking him straight in the eyes.  I was done fooling around.  "Alright, pops, listen up. I'm not leaving here with any bullshit you decide to spurt at us.  Your daughter grew up to be a monster, do you understand?  I am ruined because of her.  And if you were outside in the real world, you would recognize me the moment you see me.  I'm the town's fucking joke, thanks to Clare.  She claims I am insane, has evidence that is untrue, beat me, made me her slave, tortured me, and she killed my sister.  So excuse me for not wanting to fuck around, but I want some answers.  Like why the hell is my mother the devil?  What did you do to her to make her the way she is?  How did you fuck her up to the point where she is incapable of loving her own children?!"

I didn't realize how close I had gotten to him, yelling in his face.  Luke's hand was grasping my arm, as if to hold me back, but he really didn't enforce that.  He was probably a little mad though that I threw everything out there like that.  He might have had a strategy but I mean I couldn't take it anymore.  It was so frustrating.

Breathing hard, I shook off Luke's grasp and scowled, staring him down.  And he no longer had that dumb smirk either.  His eyes shifted from mine to Luke's, expression blank for the most part. After who knows how many seconds of silence, he spoke up, facing what he just learned. 

"If I tell you anything, what do I get in return?"

"The satisfaction at knowing this will help take your daughter down.  I have a sick feeling you would like that," Luke said in disgust, his words partially a question.  He really did wonder if he would take satisfaction in knowing we planned to take her down considering we figured he didn't care for her.  We learned that was an understatement.

"True."

"And you know that if you don't answer us, nothing will happen anyway." I cut in, hopefully goading him into it even more.

He sighed.  "Fine.  What do you want to know?"

 I hissed.  "What did you do to her to make her the way she is now?"

"I didn't do anything to that child that I couldn't help." He cut in quickly after I finished speaking.  "She was just so... happy.  It was so fucking irritating.  So you slap the kid.  They need to understand discipline - true discipline! When she just wouldn't stop smiling, trying to stay positive, we had to keep trying to beat it down until we buried that little smile."  Martin surprised us by just laughing, hysterically through his next words.  "She wouldn't stop picking flowers, having fun, being a kid... and it was our job to stop that little whore from being happy."

"What are you talking... about?" Luke struggled getting the words out evenly.  He and I were both shocked and scared by his words.  And for the first time in my whole life, while we were speaking with him, I began to feel sorry for her.

"It runs in the family!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms out, as if in welcome to his family. "My grandparents ruined their children's lives - who were my parents.  And my parents saw it to be fair that since they had a shitty upbringing, their children needed to suffer as well.  Because they suffered.  And since I suffered, Clare needed to suffer too.  And that is why she is the way she is, shaped by generations at work."  His eyes digging in mine, more thoroughly, he leaned forward until our faces were but a few feet away.  I was in shock and stuck, only able to stare at him when he said his next words.  "And since Clare needed to suffer, so did you my child.  And do you know what that means?"

My stomach dropped out from under me and I could feel myself start to feel sick.  I couldn't move though.  I was completely paralyzed, under the lock that was the realization that this has been going on for centuries in my family.  And what was worse was what he was suggesting.

I answered his question.  "T-That... I will make my children...." I couldn't finish. Suffer.

"Bingo, darling."

I sat back swiftly in my chair and tried getting the thought out of my head.  I needed to stay focused.  It didn't need to happen.  It was just the need to be mean that made them do it.  But also because they couldn't handle being jealous over their children having good lives when they couldn't.  It didn't mean I would do that.  I wouldn't, I kept saying to myself.  And it wouldn't matter now.  I would never be able to handle having kids.

Luke stood up in rage after he spoke.  Hands slamming down on the little table between us, he hissed in a low voice to him.  "Just because suffering and child abuse 'run in the family' does not mean she will continue it!  She is a beautiful person.  And I got here just in time to help her blossom before her psychotic mother ruined her completely.  She wont be like you people.  I swear it."

"Wishful thinking, boy," Martin smirked.

"Luke," I said, trying to get his attention.  "It's fine, I'm alright.  Just sit down," I said to him quietly and after a moment, he did. 

Luke couldn't speak.  He was too worked up.  So I took over and did some of the talking, knowing this was our chance to get as many answers as we can.  "What did you do to her, specifically?" I asked.  Besides needing evidence, I was honestly curious.  Did they beat her as bad as she did me?  Did she have it worse?  What exactly was it that did her in?

"Beatings were usual," he nodded, casually. "Nothing wrong with scaring the child a bit.  We told her when we were going out for dinner and what not that we would never be back. That we were leaving her for good.  I knew while we were gone she would just sit and cry and not a few hours later we would be back.  We showed her love, because we did love her. But at the same time, that child needed to go down.  Treating her like dirt was a constant.  Some demented things like throwing knives at her but purposefully miss, just to scare her."

I was frozen in place.  Because it was just making all those memories come back to me.  All so similar... and when Martin said that last one, it hit a spot because that's exactly what Clare use to do to me.

He smiled to us after a minute once he paused.  Looking between our disgusted faces, that smirk wouldn't stop and I just wanted to beat it off his face.  Recalling my words from before, he went on.  "It seems though that Clare beat the game, so to speak. Sure showed us who's the fucker and who's the fucked."  He laughed again, shaking his head.  I think it was in admiration towards his daughter! "She really went above and beyond for you, child.  To accuse you of insanity, have proof somehow... it just widens the abuse.  She couldn't have planned it out any better...." he said in amazement. 

I was simply shocked.  That's all it was - could be.  I mean, it strangely made sense to me though.  You just really need to look at it differently.  I finally got what I was missing and it made sense.  It was terrible, sickening, but I understood. 

If you are abused, it is possible you could someday be like your abuser.  I could happen.  My family though changed the rules up a bit.  They abused because they were were treated terribly and felt they needed to continue it out of fairness.  But not just because it was habit, what they learned, or because it was all they knew.... They did it because they were also selfish and didn't want to see their children have the life they couldn't have. It made me sick to my stomach but I finally know now.... They did it because they would be jealous if their child had a good life.  So they had to fuck it up, naturally.  It didn't mean they still didn't love their kids though. 

Among the poor people out there, abused, this was a special case.  Because I did know many people don't continue this cycle of abuse.  They break it.  For this specific family though, it was a little different.  When you have generations of abuse like that for me, and with their excuses for abusing their kids, it made me a little nervous.  My family was weak in general ultimately if they couldn't fight this.  Did that mean I was weak?  I felt as if I would never do that to my kids.  But he made it sound impossible.

I managed to speak to him.  "She wasn't like you at first though.  She didn't have children with the intention or plan to beat me down.  Clare only did it after my father left.  Same with Emily's father.  Once he left, she completely despised Emily.  But she started out loving us before they left."

"Clare is strong.  She always was.  She tried shaking her past, her genes.... she was good.  But when something breaks you down, like your husband taking off, it breaks all of you.  And it broke Clare to where she couldn't stop or resist it anymore.  After that, she knew she had to go back to her roots and repeat it for her children."

It all was coming together.  And it all was making me sick.  I was getting my answers.  And now, I wish I didn't because it was just so sickening, heartbreaking, and over all, it just pissed me off beyond belief.  To do that over selfishness, jealousy, and because it was in the family's 'history' and 'nature'.  And to know that I was next in their twisted little line of abusers... oh yeah.  I was going to be sick.

 ___________________________________________

__________________________________

Whoa.  A lot happened, a lot was found out.  So what do you think about what Martin said?  The reason behind why Clare is the way she is?  Hope this helps you understand Clare more!

Also, I wanted to ask you guys - if anyone knows - about the Watty awards.  Now, it's not like I want to be in them at all.  I've just been on this site for a long time and all I know is that they are awards for stories.  Like what do you get out of it if you win?   I don't know what the award is for specifically, don't know categories (if they have those), I don't know anything so I would appreciate it if anyone tells me anything they know. Once again, just out of curiosity.

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro