Chapter 65

"Do you know the answer, Miss. Higgins?" Mr. Harris asked, his eyes narrowing on mine.  Like usual, I suppose.  He was always pointing me out, as if to see if I was paying attention.  Of course, the real reason was because he just didn't like me.  That's fine.  I hate his ass too. 

His dull eyes rested on mine.  After his question, there were a couple more sets of eyes that headed my way and I could only sigh.  Christ... school just fucking sucks.  At least I was safe I suppose.  I had not only Ramper sitting beside me.  But I had several officers in the back of the room and around the school.  It was the talk of the school and obvious rumors since nobody specifically knew why I had all these cops following me around.  Unfortunately, Luke wasn't one of the cops with me this particular day.  He followed me around the first two days with Ramper, incredibly paranoid.  But now, he realized that if there was any threat, it would come from the front doors or outside.  It made him reluctant and nervous, yes, but he felt safer knowing I had all these other officers around me for protection.  

However, they couldn't protect me from all the teasing and all the attention.  Couldn't protect me from teachers like this one always calling me out.  The nice thing was... many of the police didn't look amused by it, at least.  I figured most would applaud the harassment since I knew I wasn't liked among the officers.  I was insane first of all.  Plus I was causing a lot of issues for how much trouble has been following me.  So it was a little weird to see them appear sympathetic towards me. 

Of course, a part of it could be because some of them knew of what Luke and I were planning to do.  Well... they knew that they needed to watch the house as we started digging.  Luke was very careful in sharing details with them.  He actually ended up confiding in only two officers that he was rather close to and knew he could trust (and no, one was not Ramper; he would somehow blow the job or blab about it).  So things were overall looking good.  We had two officers willing to guard the perimeter when we dig her up.  Of course, Luke was still vague with them.  All they knew was that it was because he had reason to believe there was a body in the yard and that Clare might have done it.  Most officers would instantly take care of it a different way if Luke told them his story.  But these two officers understood our position and were willing to help, even if they didn't know the detail about me being actually sane. 

It all seemed safe to me, which was good.  If Clare shows up, they will grab her and we keep digging.  Simple.  Of course, all that had to start with something very simple: and that's getting out of school.  Tomorrow morning, I was to come to school like usual with all my pimps following me around (officers).  But then, because I can't miss any days, Luke would then excuse me.  It would work if I at least showed up.  We couldn't do it by me just not showing up.  I needed be here for at least a while for it to count that I was in school, even if pulled.  Then after, we needed to rush to the house and dig her up.  It would take all day and night.  Luckily, I had a way to make the time better.  Especially if I don't even need to go to school that day, tomorrow.

Just as the idea started to form in my head, Harris snapped me out of it to answer his question.  For once, I actually wasn't paying attention.  "Um... I think the answer is obviously...."  What were we learning about?  The French Revolution?  "The Roman empire," I belted out the first thing I could think of.  What a bullshit answer I made sound confident.  Stupid me... that had nothing to do with it.

I heard people start to laugh, as was expected.  That's fine.  I knew I was wrong.  I just needed to look as if I was paying attention.  Harris looked disgusted.  "Last I checked, Italy is not France.  You're off by hundreds of years, cupcake.  Pay attention," he said in a voice that made me want to kick him.  When he repeated the question to the class for someone else to answer, I blocked him out on purpose this time.  I purposefully didn't want to know now, thanks to that prick.  For my own well being, the answer was the Romans and that's that.

"Nice going," Ramper whispered from next to me.  My elbows on the table, I leaned back more and crossed my arms.  I glanced up and over to his face, scowling at his smirk. 

"Shut up," I mumbled.  "I've got a lot on my mind.  Unlike you having nothing on yours," I rolled my eyes, looking back down to the table.  So much on my mind... that I was instantly back into my little world.  The world where I just had a good idea....

I grinned softly as it hit me.  An alternative.  A way to get out of even coming to school tomorrow and still be excused so I don't get kicked from school thanks to my absences.  But... if I were to, lets say, get suspended... get suspended today, that could mean the school excused me.  I wouldn't be skipping or be gone for whatever other reason.  The school would require I stay out of school for a few days.  And at the same time, it wouldn't count against me as real absences.... 

I bit my lips from smiling.  This would be awesome.  I get suspended and I have the whole day off tomorrow.  Meaning, we could start so much earlier if I didn't have to go to school then have Luke pull me out.  We could start so early and get more done....  After all, the longer it takes us, the more of a risk we are taking.  Though we had two other cops to watch the perimeter now, we still had no clue about Clare.  About where she is, what happened....  It was unsettling and she knew we were probably planning to dig Emily up.  She wouldn't just wait around.  She either was waiting for us to start digging her up or she ran away.  That last one was very possible.  Either way, it was still a risk.  And we wanted to get it done before nightfall if possible. 

So suspension... it means more time.  It would also be so incredibly awesome to finally cave and do something to one of these assholes here.  The question was now was who....: which one?  Who do I punch, spit at, maybe kick, take a shit on (kidding, not that last one).  I'll have to wait for someone to really piss me off throughout the day.  How I wished I could have kicked Mrs. Dugan's ass... but that was immediate expulsion, not suspension like I was going for.

The perfect victim came at the beginning of my last class.  I ended up saving it for someone special.  A special asshole.  One that was always bothering me in Physics class every damn day.  Ramper was even sick of him and snapped at him a few times (which tells you how much I wanted to shove a pole up his ass).  Today, I was finally able to take it out on him the anger that has been building up.

Unlike the ADD kid in math who liked bugging me by touching my hair, this asshole was in the top 15 on my shit list.  Which doesn't seem like high up on it but if you guys knew just how long that shit list is, you would understand.  For the past few weeks, this kid named Evan was assigned to start sit behind me thanks to the seating chart.  A kid I didn't want to fucking deal with.  Everyday he would be at the table behind me.  And everyday, he would lean closer and wrap his feet around the legs of my chair, and jerk it back hard with me in it.  I fell a few times and the other times when I didn't, he would kick me in the back.  Ramper had to step in a few times, threatened him once. Besides that, he would sometimes move right up behind me and whisper in my ear shit I didn't want to hear.  Whether it was that he wanted to rape me or die, it was usually one or the other.  That's usual talk from the immature kids here.  But to get it everyday from him was pushing me over.  What always made me ready to snap was when he would actually try to touch my breasts or lick my ear.  I was ready several times to deck him in his stupid ugly face.  

But each time, Ramper would remind me that I couldn't.  No matter if provoked or not.  I would get in huge trouble if I did that and we didn't need that type of attention.  So I needed to maintain self control over my body and just handle my only weapon of talking back to him.  Today was a different story.  We didn't need the attention or trouble... but I wanted to get suspended and it would help us this one time.   

I sat down, calm and everything in Physics class.  I was just watching for it, for him to start his daily shit.  And a minute in after the bell rang, he did.  I was facing forward, paying attention as much as I could, ready to snap when it got to that point.  He did something a little different today though.  Instead of violently jerking my chair back with his feet, I felt him start to slowly pull my chair back, with me in it.  He slid me back until my back was against the front of his table before I knew it and before I could move, he put a hard hand on my shoulder.  God, I could just smell his ugly ass.  He was a kid who always had greasy hair, never showered, always wore the same clothes.  I don't care how people look but he stunk and was nasty - in more ways than one. 

"Every single day you sit in front of me....  It's like you want to stay in my sight.  Are you just the crazy whore everyone expects of you or are you just that fucking stupid to not have figured out I won't stop," Evan said, his teeth hissing close in my hair. 

"Ever think I don't have a choice?  Ever heard of the fucking seating chart, dumbass?" I said, narrowing my eyes.  So disgusted by him... and nearly smiling knowing I will deck him in the next second. 

He scoffed against my ear.  "You're such a little fatherless bitch, trying to get people to feel sorry for you.  You crack head cunt, you're lucky I didn't get to raping you yet," he whispered in my ear.  Well... first time he said that one - before the rape part.  I was surprised I couldn't wait much longer.  I was just too anxious and almost excited to do it.  At the same time, my anger at him helped big time. Just as Ramper took notice and I saw some other officers around the room notice, I was already doing what I looked forward to all day.

I jerked from his hard grasp, spinning to face him in my chair.  HIs dangerous hazel eyes filled with hatred.  But not as much as mine were at the moment.  His round head and big forehead was just calling for me to make him a target.  And I did.  He spat on me one day.  Now it's my turn and more.  "Are you just that fucking stupid to think I'm as weak as you think?" I ask under my breath.  Just as he roughly reached forward towards me, I leaned away.  And in the process, I got to my feet, my anger swelling in me... Now I could do something about it. 

Just as people began to notice, I was already in action.  I stood up, and stumbled around his table.  I know it was wrong but I actually felt the need to smile.  I probably would have if I wasn't as angery as he made me, like I wanted to an extent. I wanted to get even more mad just for this moment right here: to release it.  Quickly walking over to him in his chair, he stared at me with wide confused eyes.  But not before I yanked him up close by his shirt.  And when I did, holding him facing me, I wound my other arm back and clenched my fist tight.  I had all the punches I made in my past come in handy.  After all, the second I punched him right in the face, his cheek and maybe jaw, he jerked hard back and fell on the floor, gasping. 

The pulsing in my hand was not important.  My eyes were on Evan as he fell onto his side, landing on the hard ground with a grunt.  And it made me feel so good.  Especially when I heard him squeal out and cup his face in his hands, gasping and nearly crying it seemed like.  Don't be shocked guys but as I watched, as did everyone else stunned, I smiled down at him.  I now had my ticket out for the next few days like I wanted with the school enforcing it so it didn't count against my attendance.  And I was smiling for how I got that ticket and that was through this jerk - who finally got what he deserved.  I ended up walking around his body back to where my table was; as I passed him, I spit on him as nonchalantly as I could. 

At this point, everyone was gasping, staring at me.  No doubt I'm the one that started this, which I guess is how it needed to be looked at if I wanted out for a few days.  I scoffed and noticed the cops were even shocked by my almost random act.  Fun part was over now though.  You guys will see exactly what I mean.... 

***

"What were you thinking?!  Beating up a poor boy like Evan McCormick?" Heilding, the principal, growled at me.  I knew how these types of things went....  You do something bad in school, you get bitched at.  It was necessary, but I still hated it. 

I took a deep breath.  "Well... I just punched him.  I didn't beat him up," I said.  I was aiming for a suspension, not expulsion.  And even if he wanted to expel me, it sounded bad, but Luke could probably pay him off.  I mean, this is a time where we need to resort to desperate measures (like what I just did).   

He groaned, his eyes narrowing.  The winkles and grooves along his face and forehead seemed to deepen.  Either by the narrowing of his eyes and low eyebrows or his stress over the matter.  He leaned forward more, his elbows resting on his desk.  Staring at me hard from across his desk, I didn't look away.  I wasn't scared of him, even if he was trying to act intimidating.  I was calm, sitting there with my legs crossed.  I even tried appearing lady like and maybe a bit innocent just to make it a little more funnier considering what I did.  I can only imagine what Luke's going to think.  He will either agree that it was a good idea or a stupid one.  I didn't want to disappoint him but I feel as if he would think this was a good idea on our part.

He scratched the back of his head, eyes never leaving me.  "Do you know how bad this makes us look?  Not just you, but the school?" he asked, his voice low and slightly rough.  He shook his head, scowling.  Just as he was about to say something else, I heard the door open from behind me. Turning around to see who it was, I felt my stomach roll slightly as my eyes landed on my personal police officer I haven't seen all day it seemed.  He looked surprised when his eyes found mine, confused and they went to Heilding. 

"What happened?" Luke asked, concerned.  But it was clear he obviously heard what must have happened.  Gossip was annoyingly fast and the other cops probably told him.  His eyes reaching mine again, I saw his lips purse and saw a stressed look in his eye.  

Looking behind me to him from my seat, my attention went back to Heilding, who spoke up at Luke's entrance.  He took a deep breath, looking slightly relieved.  "Prenta, I'm happy you are present.  Your daughter here decided to go rouge and beat up one of our most well behaved students," he said, his eyes falling back to mine and he crossed his arms.  God, I hated when people referred to me as Luke's daughter.  First of all, it's called step-daughter.  Step.  And that's if you are getting all technical since I in no way considered him my stepdad.  Second thing... well behaved? 

"Uh, excuse me but that kid is far from nice," I said in a slightly more aggressive voice.  "He deserved what he got," I said, shaking my head as I narrowed my eyes at the principal. 

"Even if he was the meanest kid in school, that gives you no right to beat him up," he said.  At this point, Luke decided to take a seat beside me.  And whether it was for show or he meant it, Luke sent me a disapproving look as he shook his head.  I think most of that was true.  After all, he didn't see the motive.  He just thought I did this out of nowhere.

"Why would you do that?" he asked, trying to read me. 

I shrugged.  "I was sick of his shit," I said, making the last word loud, trying to speed up this process.  It worked. 

Heilding took in a swift breath and leaned forward towards me, just as Luke looked at me with curiosity.  He was trying to figure out why I would do this - and do it now.  Luke found out a moment later after Heilding spoke, drawing my eyes to him.  "Alright, Higgins, you are suspended for the rest of the week," he said, narrowing his eyes. 

"Dang."  I gave a dramatic sigh, acting as if this was a drag for me and I was upset at his words.  "But sir... he's an asshole," I said in a light whisper, leaning forward and nodding.  "It's not fair."  At this point, Luke knew there was something up.  Or figured that I was on my period if I didn't have something up my sleeve.  

"You are suspended," he said in a final voice, glaring hard down at me. 

I groaned again and glanced up to Luke.  He was sitting up straight, professional, though I could see with his stare that he was worried and confused at the same time.  I gave him a meaningful and knowing look.  One that said this was okay.  He lowered his eyebrows and paid more attention to me and my words. 

"If I'm suspended, does that apply to what you told me before?  You know, that if I missed anymore days, I would be kicked out of school?" I asked, watching him intently and knowing the answer. The one that was the reason I did this.

Heilding didn't look happy that I brought that up.  Because he knew I was safe.  He pursed his lips and said in annoyance under his breath, "No.  No, it doesn't affect it.  Consider yourself lucky," he said.

My face lit up, as if now it only dawned on me.  "Oh wow, really?" I asked in a surprised voice, smiling slightly.  "Hmm," I nodded, looking up to Luke.  Who now figured it out I saw with the brightening of his eyes.  He held back a smile of his own at my brilliance.  That's right guys.  I can be awesome when it counts. "Well, Heilding, does this mean I can go now?" I said when I looked back to him.

He looked more than happy to get me out of this school.  "Yes.  Please leave.  I don't want to see you until Monday," he mumbled, shuffling some papers over his desk.  With his eyes down, I glanced up to Luke and noticed his eyes shined in me.  Like he was very proud of me.  And as we were walking out of school, with some officers following us for protection, he didn't show it yet.  He waited until we were both alone in his cop car and were being escourted out and heading back to his parents house.  Of course, after we drove around and lost any chance of followers too.  The other officers would eventually branch off and head back to the station on their own.

The minute we were in his car and started pulling out, I noticed a smile didn't come to his face.  But his words he spoke brought one to my lips.  In a low voice, he said, "I can't kiss you right now because there are cops and people around," he said.  "But the second we get to the house, I'm kissing you," he said in a monotone voice to match his blank face.  But it was forced so he didn't appear happy of me getting suspended.

I nodded, and unlike him, I couldn't help smiling. "You liked what I did?" I asked.

I felt Luke's hand rest over mine in my lap in the passenger seat as he pulled out of the parking lot.  He squeezed his fingers over mine.  "I loved what you did.  You are officially the most wonderful woman I have ever met," he said, tilting his lips up just slightly. 

My heart jumped and I chuckled under my breath.  "What, you now just realized that?"

He scoffed.  "Hell no.  I'm just officially announcing it now."

"Punching a kid in the face made it official?" I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Partially.  That and the fact that it gives us more time to dig up your sister.  And it didn't count against the few days you have left to miss."  He took a deep breath as we headed down a back road in the woods to keep better cover, the cops still following us and escorting us.  "What happened anyway?  Did you really just stand up and punch him randomly?" he asked.

I shook my head.  "No.  Everyday, the kid would bother the fuck out of me.  Everyday and I wanted to take it all out on him specifically.  I waited until after he said he wanted to rape me and a few other things to punch him," I said and as I watched Luke, seeing his face pale at hearing he said that, I recalled he hated people messing with me.  Big time.  I chuckled as I continued.  "I punched him and then I spit on him when I didn't think people would notice," I said and he cracked up at that one.

After a moment of silence, and after seeing we were getting closer despite living far away from my school, I noticed in the mirror that the cops slowly were leaving us, seeing we were safe from anyone following us.  We continued down side roads, just to be safe.  It was a nice reminder of spring. The trees were budding, the sun warm through the windows.  The grass was visible as was the mud seeping along the side of the roads from the ground.  It was nice... especially after being locked in a house for so long with windows blocked out.

"Soon, you won't need to worry about that shit," Luke said in a quieter voice, drawing my eyes back to him.  I felt he finally interlaced our fingers together as he spoke.  His sweet emerald eyes found mine in a quick glance.  But it was with love and meaning. 

"What do you mean?" I asked, searching his face in curiosity.

"The bullshit people have been giving you all your life.  We get your sister, we bust Clare.  And if Clare is busted, the truth comes out that you are sane.  You won't be harassed like you have been.  You won't have kids saying they want to fucking rape you," he said in a sickly sounding voice that made my heart clench for him.  But he knew it was almost over, like he just said.  That would be some great news.  And to think... that could happen within days.  "Not only will they stop, they are going to be so sorry," he said, smiling at the thought of people mentally suffering from all they have said, with how they bullied me for no reason.

I smiled at the thought too.  I wanted them to be sorry. I wanted them to get on their knees and beg for me to forgive them.  And I don't think I would because... I honestly don't know if I could forgive all those mental and physical hits that rocked me from the time I was three to now. 

"That will sure be... something else," I said in thought, smiling softly as I looked back out the window.  Either way, it meant huge changes.  Luke even did more validation for me in that department when he spoke up once more.

"Also, I'm going to have to watch the tape too tonight to send it in as evidence," he mumbled, sighing.

I looked to him and dipped my eyebrows.  "What tape?"

He looked over to me before back to the road.  Turning the wheel to head down another isolated road, he reminded me.  "The one of you and Clare fighting.  She threw you through a window, put that knife through your hand.  When we went to go review it, you didn't want me to watch it so I didn't.  But I need to if we want to send this in as evidence now."

I almost completely forgot about that.  It seemed like it happened so long ago... It's only been a few months.  We set up those cameras, trying to get more evidence and we actually got her attacking me.  She found the camera and beat me with it... but we still got that evidence.  When we went to the station to look it over, I didn't want him to watch it.  I knew that if he did, he would have a harder time keeping his control around her.  So I was the only one that watched it.  And... it wasn't pretty.  It would hurt him.  But at the same time, I knew it had to be done.  He would have to watch it.

I sighed.  "Just try not to get too worked up over it," I said, glancing back out the window.  In a daze nearly.  Because a sliver of reality was starting to hit me.  He was getting everything ready, evidence and all, to be revealed.  It was actually happening now.

***

"Luke," I spoke, slightly reluctant as I pushed open the office door.  Mike's office.  One with a huge computer screen Luke was obsessively staring at.  It bothered me... because he just watched it and was forced to go through and edit out all the tape that wasn't of her and I.  And that meant going over it numerous times to cut around the footage we needed.  It stressed his eyes and his heart for the last couple of hours.  Now, we needed to go to bed.  Tomorrow was a huge day.  And that was a huge understatement too.  

As I stepped in the office, his figure was lit up by a lamp besides the desk and computer.  His back was to me in the chair as he watched and worked.  Upon me entering, he didn't do anything besides sit there.  Mindlessly editing I noticed.  But his eyes remained on the footage of Clare screaming at me, hitting me.  Then eventually throwing me through a window and hitting me with the camera.  Staring between him and the screen, I bit my lip and walked up to stand beside him at the desk.  I stared down at him before I quickly paused the video and went so far as to shut the screen off.

With the screen going blank, when I looked down, I noticed his eyes still remained.  As if lost in his mind or the darkness of the screen.  Sighing, I leaned back and against the desk where he was facing.  His eyes looked tired.  And the light in them dimmed even with the light of the lamp.  His eyes... they eventually crawled up to meet mine when I cupped his cheek.  And besides those dead eyes in mine that gave away how tired he was, the rest of him offered signs of tiredness too.  His ruffled uniform he was still wearing was not tucked but rather unbuttoned open.  His hair was a mess, as if he ran his fingers through it too much.  His form too.  Even just sitting there in the chair, he looked stiff with tension.  Yet, as if he didn't have the strength to support that tension and was slumped to the side with it.  Tired.  But also upset.  I knew the tape would do that to him.

"Are you alright?" I asked, looking down into his eyes, searching.

He sighed, taking a deep and shaky breath.  His eyes searched mine and I watched as he slowly lifted his hand and grasped mine that wasn't over his cheek.  "I'm disgusted," he whispered. His breath picked up slightly.  "I feel nearly sick," he mumbled. I felt him lightly tug on my hand and pull me slowly closer to him.  He ended up wrapping his other hand around my legs and he led me to sit across his lap in the desk chair.  My legs hanging off the side slightly, I wrapped my arm around his neck.  Sitting in his lap, I felt him lose some tension, which was good.  Staring into his eyes as I brushed the ends of his hair with my arm around his neck, I craned my neck to look into his soft eyes that tilted to find mine. 

I sighed.  "That's done and over," I said referring to the tape.  "That was months ago.  And we are taking her down.  Don't dwell on this," I said, feeling his hand that wasn't holding my legs rest on my back as my brace. 

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment as I started to gently stroke his hair.  I just wanted him to feel better.  "It's just hard," he said simply.  I could see that disgust there too and knew, though he didn't show it fully, it hurt him.  I smiled sadly and softly to him and leaned down closer to his face.  Resting my forehead against the side of his head, I whispered gently against the skin of his jaw.

"Don't whine like a teenager," I said softly to pick up his mood - and he chuckled gently at my words.  I went on though, more seriously.  "I know you hate this.  But it's over.  And... tomorrow it's going to be over for good.  We get her body and we put away Clare.  This shit," I said pointing towards the screen.  "It's done.  And it's because of you.  You protecting me and loving me."

He sighed, and when I looked back into his eyes, I felt his jade pools run over my eyes and my face.  "Just promise me something, okay?" he asked, stroking my bare leg from where his hand rested. 

I nodded to him, agreeing.  "Okay," I nodded, wanting him to go on.

"Promise me... that if something else happens...  if you are harassed again.  Harassed after all this is over... I want you to beat their asses like you did that kid today," he said, moving his face up closer to me and pecking my lip.  "Give them what they deserved.  For what you never deserved to get from them," he said, his lips tilting up and brushing back and forth against my lips, moist and luring. 

"I promise," I whispered, moving closer as I cupped his cheek with my hand again and gave him a soft and caressing kiss against his lips.  "Even though I just punched him; I didn't beat him up," I mentioned through my breath between our gentle lips, his responding to mine.

He deepened the kiss before breaking it, breath sweet and calming over my face.  He offered me a soft smile.  "You could have done more though.  You're a badass and don't forget it," he said, making me laugh.

"Well then copper, would you mind escorting your badass up to bed.  We need to get as much sleep as we can tonight." 

After we moved up to bed and got under our covers, we did our best to coax our bodies into rest.  It was early still but we needed to fall asleep.  We even resorted to pills that made up fall asleep faster.  Which is why Luke was out and sleeping within ten minutes beside me.  His head resting on his pillow on the mattress, his arm wrapped over me, I felt ready to fall asleep too.  It took longer for me though.  I blamed it on racing thoughts.  Because it didn't register yet, exactly.  It didn't hit hard.  And it should. 

Tomorrow morning, in a few hours, we were grabbing shovels and heading over to the house still in ruins.  And we were digging up my little sister's body.  It would take a while.  We didn't know for certain where she was, even though we narrowed it down well.  No matter how long it would take though, it was happening.  And I was anxious, nervous, excited, and sad all at the same time.  I can only imagine all this hitting me tomorrow.  Of course, if I knew tomorrow would hold what it did, I would know that no amount of rest would fuel us up for what we were about to face.