Chapter 28

"So... do you think Luke is still fucking your mom?" Francis asked me in a very intended casual voice. 

Because my eyes were idling at the passing landscape of the early morning through the car window, when he said that, he didn't get to see my full reaction because I know he wanted to.  He wouldn't have been that satisfied though.  All I could do was purse my lips and grind my teeth at his obviously teasing question.  I had a good idea he was actually curious though from the tone in his voice and the fact that he should assume I wouldn't like this particular topic of discussion. 

You'd figure I could get a break this early in the morning.  But no, by now, I should have known Francis would have been bound to speak up about something involving Luke and his sex life.  I guess I can thank my lucky stars he wasn't bringing up my nonexistent sex life again like usual (I know, those stars just keep getting smaller and smaller everyday). 

Taking in a deep and soothing breath as best as I could, I slowly came to shift over in my seat and face my driver.  Francis's eyes stayed on the road, his hands resting lightly on the wheel.  His lips, I noticed, were just slightly tilted and I came to the conclusion of how I should respond. I mean, how else do you respond to a question like that from someone like him?

Leaning over towards him, straining my seat belt, I happily raised my hand and smacked him in the arm once...  twice, why not two more times?  As I started smacking his arm and side, and as he started to erupt in laughter, he tried moving away as best as he could and block me.  All the while he continued keeping a steady hold on driving the car.  Grabbing my arm, he tried pushing me back with his only free hand.

"Hey, hey, hey!" he laughed.  "What?!" he asked in a higher pitched voice when I was able to get one more good slap in (but like I figured, none had any impact).

When I was done, I scooted back and crossed my arms, shaking my head at him with a scowl.  Fucking Francis... I looked at him with raised eyebrows at what he said and could almost feel myself want to smirk at his defensiveness.  That dumb famous smirk present... his eyes left mine and returned back to focus on the road ahead.  I could now see the familiar house, trees, and public buildings I pass every time either him or Luke take me to school.  My focus though... primarily  on Francis.

"Uh, try not ever asking me that again?  I mean, that's a good assumption of 'what' in my opinion," I said to him, narrowing my eyes at his form that gave off waves of his teasing nature. 

Francis pursed his lips I saw and slowly glanced over to me after he turned at the red light.  Lighting up the tints of royal blue and the hazy effect of mossy green and brown... they caught mine and shinned with that sense of amusment I didn't share at the moment.

"Oh come on," he said, in a more serious voice after he faced the road again.  "I know that thought has had to have crossed your mind."

I stared at him for the longest time.  Finally though, I spoke. "Okay, look, Mr. Up-Everybody's-Ass," I said, getting a throaty chuckle out of him.  "That's none of your business - or mine for that matter!" I shook my head.

"But I'm asking if you think it's still happening."

"Well, it's not!"

That sure peaked his interest quite a bit, considering he must have heard just how sure I was of my answer.  I watched his eyebrows raise as he continued to watch the road ahead of him.  His body sure reacted though.  One hand raised from the steering wheel when I said that and his eyes were widening.  Slamming his hand down on the dashboard out of... well, excitement if I had to guess, his smile grew to a huge grin.  He glanced back over to me with surprised and playful eyes.  "Whoa, whoa... whoa," he whispered the last word before he was forced to focus back on the road.  Watching Francis as I bit my lip, the early morning orange illuminated through the windshield as he drove and reflected the astonishment on his face.  I groaned, seeing the wheels spinning in his head.  "Alright, wait a fucking minute," he said.  "He told you he's done having sex with her?"

Sighing, I glanced away and back out the window where I saw him pull into the school parking lot.  Joy.  I'm here... to start another happy day!  Just before I answered his question, taking a moment to try to think it over, he pulled into one of the few parking spaces left and put it in park. Facing me more, he tapped his chin in playful anticipation.  "Yeah.  He's done doing it.  I told him I didn't want him to feel like he needs to get raped just for me.  He has been for so long... and I wont have it anymore.  So he's making excuses for her to get him out of that bitch's bed.  He's sleeping on my floor for my 'protection' right now."

He raised his eyebrows as he listened and when I was done, he shifted back more and relaxed into his seat.  I was happy to see he wasn't as amused as before, even if it was still there.  Sighing through those pursed lips, he ran a hand back through his brown wavy hair.  "Damn," he said quietly.  "That really must suck for him.  I guess he wont have to feel as guilty any more."

"What do you mean?"

"Over fucking her while thinking about you."

His words were a shock to my system - and because of that, I think that's why I didn't believe them.  Scoffing under my breath, I shook my head and continued to watch him with wide eyes.  The scary part about it... was how seriously Francis said that and clearly meant it. 

"A-Are you... you're serious?" I asked, trying to really clarify.

"Uh, yeah." he answered in a tone that called me dumb.  Sighing, he sat forward more and offered me a soft smile.  "Do you honestly think that's all he's had to deal with?  Just having sex with her?"

"Come on Fran--"

He cut me off.  "You said it yourself it was like rape.  He needed something to get him through it, right?  Why not you?  If he was thinking about you while having sex with her, it would have at least made it that much more bearable for him."

Without even realizing it at first, I felt my breath pick up but when I did, I tried lowering it.  What he just said... it made more sense to me.  I really hoped it wasn't the case.  Would I feel flattered if I knew he was right?  Hell yeah, I would man.  Trust me, I could feel the sparks already raise in the pit of my stomach and... oh god.  The thought of him picturing me instead of her while having sex... I'm not sure what it was, but it made me quite anxious and excited to be honest.  But if that was true... I can only imagine the extra guilt on top of that and the amount of pain he would have to endure.  He was a guy with a precise way of looking at what is right and what is wrong.  If Francis was right, Luke would have thought incredibly low of himself and that was the last thing I wanted for him. 

 Trying to hide from him the effect his words had on me, I glanced away from him and hoped by then, the flush of red in my cheeks had drained and I didn't seem as pathetically aware as I was.  It woke me up, made me almost alert in a sense and when I figured I was good, I turned back to him and could see almost a smug look there.

"First of," I said, clearing my throat. "You're fucked up."

"I can deal with that," he nodded before I continued.

"Two: you're wrong.  And I would appreciate it if you didn't keep making up these bullshit excuses to make me--"

"Aroused?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in suggestion.

"That make me want to smack you!" I said, leaning over again and hitting his shoulder, making him laugh.  But even I couldn't hide a small smile from Francis, even if the issue was a bit unsettling. He was just the type that you couldn't help but laugh while your around. However, I was glad that school was about to start soon because I was a second away from pulling my hair out if this conversation continued - which I'm nearly convinced was Francis's goal.  

After he left, it was typical Wednesday morning.  It's been close to a week since Clare decided to go all ape shit on me.  So I was still suffering from the pointing and teasing of the slowly fading bruises on my face - which Luke was quite frustrated over.  Since that happened though, Clare... kept her distance.  That seemed more edgy in my opinion and made me even more fearful for whatever it is she will pull next.  I didn't expect it to be anytime soon though.  I was nearly convinced at this point that I was just overthinking her reaction to Luke when he talked to her.  If she didn't do anything about it instantly, she obviously is still dumb enough not to realize Luke is on my side.   

Besides the usual teasing I get in school, my mind couldn't leave what Francis said earlier.  How he believed Luke use to think about me while having sex with Clare.  It was just... almost a surreal thought for me.  Because every time I though about it, I would get the picture stuck in my head of him over me... having sex with me.  Did I imagine it before?  Well, yeah dummies.  But to actually think about Luke imagining the same thing was quite different.  I wasn't sure how I felt though if he was doing it through Clare.  Ugh.  Thank you Francis for completely fucking my brain up this entire morning.  Just for another one of his stupid theories.

Despite my distracting thoughts, by the time the school day was half over, it left my mind.  Of course though, I can only have peace for a limited amount of time in my life.  Remember: it's not like I can ever be normal or anything resembling such a word....

I was sitting in my fifth hour class, listening to Mrs. Williams babble on and on and on about what our next big project will be from the class.  Web Design is not something I get excited over.  But I was forced to follow along because, according to Mrs. Williams, this was the shit we needed to know for our exams as she explained (just not in those words exactly).

"This will be due at the end of the month," she said, pacing between the number of spaced out tables we were sitting at with computers.  Her heels clicking on the tile with every step, her hands clasped together, she naturally held that nice smile on her face.  Stringy blonde hair flat against her head, her blouse a dark purple in contrast, I watched as she looked around at all of us while she explained.  "This will need to be emailed to me as well as printed.  You will not have to present," she was saying, just as the phone began to ring on her desk.  Her deep blue eyes glancing to it, she walked over towards it and answered before she bothered finishing.

I went back to playing a game I found online that involved frogs crossing the road.  It wasn't like this class required much brain power from me - especially if the lady is talking.  However, I scowled at seeing my frog - who I named Renaldo - get smashed by a car through the pixels of the computer screen.  Damn cars.  There is no courtesy anymore for the froggies.  And though I was the one that directed Renaldo into traffic with the keyboard, that still didn't give the car a right.

"Albany?" I heard my name through the air and it snapped my attention back in place.  Looking up from my computer screen, everyone else seemed to quiet their side conversations at hearing my name.  Obviously, because teenagers love drama and I always have it.

Meeting Mrs. Williams eyes from where I was sitting, she offered me a soft smile as her reached over her desk and set the phone back down, hanging up.  Looking at me, she said, "You are needed at the front office," she said.

Eyebrows dipping in confusion, I could only shrug it off.  I had a good guess something happened here at school and I was getting blamed.  I swear, I've gotten called down more than what I figured possible because kids are trying to blame me for stuff they did.  Or either just to randomly make up shit.  So as I closed out of the game, the window for what I was suppose to be doing too, I logged off my computer and nodded to her once as she continued to speak. 

Getting my things together, I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder. Grabbing my coat too, stood up from where I was seated at my computer.  Ignoring everybody's stares, I headed out the door soon after and walked down the hall towards the office.  I could only imagine what it was this time.  Apparently, I already was the one that pulled the fire alarm the other day, trashed the side of the building with spray paint, and stole someone's phone.  Someone also claimed that I started a fight between two girls in the hall -  which I strongly defended in my case; the last thing I wanted was to be pinned to something as pathetic as a girl fight at school.  A girl gets smacked by some other girl and the whole school is talking about it.  I told the principal if I was going to get into a fight, I'd make it actually worth watching. 

Surprisingly, he was starting to catch on to how much people like to start pinning stuff on me.  He knew they were lies but as his job, he needed to be fair and call me down.  Ever since Luke exploded and screamed at the principal because of my treatment on the first day of school, he has been quite nice to me and even goes out of his way to make sure everything is fine in school for me.  That was something I will never forget - Luke storming in here and screaming in the principals face. 

However, after going down the few halls it took to get to the office, I quickly discovered that my reason for coming to the office was completely off from what I guessed,

Right when I opened the door and walked in to the office, I froze and refused to move for a moment.  I smelled coffee, I felt the air shift.  But everything else was still after my initial reaction.  My eyes went wide, lips straight and I could feel my whole body become stiff.  Hand still resting on the door as I had began to close it, I squeezed it harder and I felt the jump in my chest at the sight of her.

"Hey, sweetie!" she said, turning towards me from where she was standing by the secretaries desk and talking with the woman.  Watching her under the florescent lights, it made her appear to be that much more disgusting in my eyes.  Still in khakis, a heavy blue sweater under her puffy white coat, I knew she left work to come here.  Her hair still styled perfectly, curls running down the curve of her neck and shoulders....  Pft... why was she here to begin with?! 

Clare took a couple steps closer to me and lightly caressed my arm in acknowledgement.  Awe.  Isn't she sweet?  I could literally feel her coldness when her finger tips brushed over my sweater though. When I managed to get my temporarily paralyzed senses back, I glanced behind Clare towards the desk.  Not only did I meet the secretary's eyes, I could feel her eyes on me and Clare the whole time. I couldn't blame her for staring though, especially when everybody knows my issues with my mother since Clare likes to make those well known to the public.   That I was crazy, hated her for no reason, and that she was just trying to get by with the uncooperative daughter that I am.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered after I looked back to her, even though her eyes were the last thing I wanted to look into.  They offered amusement when I had none, power and excitement when I didn't know of what.  It scared me.  I knew she wasn't here to take me to lunch if you know what I'm saying. No, if I had to guess, she's here to take me to her house in hell.

"You have a doctor's appointment, remember?" she asked, smiling and all I wanted to scream to the lady at the desk was No, I don't!  No, no, no she's lying!  Oh god, what the hell was she going to do now? I guess a knife through the hand isn't enough to satisfy her.

I didn't answer her; I just stared at her and tried figuring it out as we faced each other.  And at the excitement in her eyes... that sick excitement, I could feel my stomach nearly drop out from under me as an idea hit me, hit me hard, of what it could be she is doing.  Eyes widening at her, at my guess, I could only hope I was wrong.  It would all make sense if it's what I'm thinking....

Through the silence of the room, I heard Clare awkwardly laugh and pat my arm.  "Come on, hun.  We are going to be late," she said, gesturing for me to go back out through the office door ahead of her, the same one I was still grasping onto - much harder than before too. There is no fucking appointment!  Shit! No, no, no.... Breath picking up, I could only start to think Luke wont handle this if I'm right.  He will be there.  He will. 

Glancing over to where the secretary sat behind the large desk angled off to the side and facing us in a way, her eyes looked curious.  She looked interested and intrigued at the nut and her mother, the infamous two together.  But no questioning, nothing that would make her second guess my mother of course.

I wasn't sure what to do as she faced me, trying to goad me to go out the door of the office to leave school.  Offering a smile once more to me when I looked back up to me, I saw it was much tighter and eyes offered the hint of a threat to listen to her.  Her voice though was polite as it usually is when people are around.  "I signed you out for the rest of the day so we're good to go."

"I think I'd much rather schedule it for another day," I heard myself reply to her, but in a fashion that didn't bother to hide my anger over this.  I refused to show my fear, especially when it was something I was very scared of right now.

"There is no other time that will be convenient."

"See, I actually care about school and getting my work done.  I'll be missing a whole class," I argued, trying to think of how I could possibly get out of this.  It's like I could go screaming and running away when I wasn't even positive what she was really here for. Was it something that I would like?  Nope.  But my thoughts could just be jumping to conclusions when I started thinking of what this could possibly be for. 

Sighing deeply, she seemed to have made up her mind.  Clare clearly was done debating this with me in the school office.  She walked past me and out the office door as she said, "Sorry, sweetie.  Today is the only day we can do it!" Voice cheery, I saw I had no option as she began to walk towards the front doors and I was forced to follow her.  The last thing I need is to run and for her to call the cops on me or something stupid.  For all I knew, this was something I wouldn't like but it could be harmless.

I slipped my coat on that I brought from class since I carried all my things with me for my last few classes and followed her out the front doors.  But once the cold air brushed across our faces along with the few scattered flakes, I gripped her arm and forced her to stop.  It took her a moment to bother turning around to face me since I stopped her from behind.  It was clear she didn't want to deal with me but that was the dumb bitch's fault.  If you don't want to deal with me, don't come and get me.  Finally, I felt her tense body violently shrug off my gripping hand on her arm as she turned around and faced me. The freaky part was that when my eyes reached her face, I saw she was full out grinning.  Like a creepy, malice filled... doll.   It was scary and I didn't like how much fear was in me over this. I was so close to running, I even took a couple steps back from her.

"Where the fuck are we going?" I growled at her, still incredibly frustrated even if I was scared too.

"I told you.  Dr. Blake's," she said, and she didn't even try to hide her smile or the fact that she was lying.  Like she didn't care or she wanted me to be scared.  Her facial expression seemed as if it was trying to goad me on to keep guessing, trying to figure out where we were going.  She probably would take sick pleasure in seeing me discover wherever it was she was wanted to take me.

"Cut. The.  Bullshit." I told her slowly, staring her down.  Watching her, I saw her shift her weight over to her other leg and buried her hands in her pockets of her coat casually as she just watched me.  Her brown locks rolling in the breeze and across her face... I mean, she just appeared very lively. But nothing fazed those deadly eyes.

"What are you going to do?   Run?" she snorted.

"Damn right I will," I said, no longer caring about my previous thoughts.  My gut said this was serious and to not go with her. Sure, I wasn't sure what it was but after last week's little 'incident' I was fine with passing whatever fun-filled adventure she had for me today.  I know I'm a terrible person for declining to spend time with my lovely mother, but I actually value my life.

This time, I think she realized I was serious when I said I was going to run.  I saw her face falter, just slightly, and she licked her pink lips before pursing them.  Sighing, she looked down before back up at me with a blank expression.  And for the first time in a while, she actually spoke in a reasonable tone with me.  "What could I possibly do to you that would make you rather run?"

 My answer was automatic as I raised my hand up from my side, closer to her and in the air.   I faced my palm out then moved it back in to remind her of what she did to my hand. It still hurt like a bitch to just touch something with that hand.  The bandages still wrapped around my hand, I figured that was answer enough.  She put a knife through my hand, what wouldn't she do?

"You know I wouldn't kill you, right?"

 "And why wouldn't you?" I crossed my arms. 

"Because that would be one of the dumbest mistakes I could do at this time.  I have my husband.  I wont lose him," she said and I saw the determination in her eyes, how much she meant that. But I've made enough dumb mistakes to risk anymore for who the hell knows what.  "Not to mention, you are in no position to fight this.  You don't have a choice.  The alternative is causing an even worse fuss and still having the same results if you just come with me now." 

"I'm not going with you," I laughed humorlessly, shaking my head.

She stared me down before sighing.  "You're going to make me do it, aren't you?"

"Do what?" I asked, getting annoyed now. 

Strangely, at that point, she began to shift around more as she adjusted her coat at one of the most random times.  Only I saw that wasn't her purpose, fixing the collar of the white coat as she was doing.  In the process, she deliberately thrust the open ends of her coat and it gave me enough of a visual to see what the inside of her coat held.  And at the sight, it led the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, tingles running up from the top of my bun even down to my lower back and I was positive my jaw dropped at the sight too.

On the inside of her coat was a small pocket.  And because it was small, it allowed for me to see the hand gun it contained that much better.  Yes.  A gun.  It was quite interesting, putting aside the icy feeling that went through my body.  I mean, could she even shoot a gun?  Did it even matter though?  She has a gun, bottom line.  Anybody's got a gun, then you get their attention, whatever they ask for.  Clearly, Clare wasn't messing around. Finishing 'fixing her coat,' I saw her lips purse and her eyes no longer held as much humor. 

"You just told me you wouldn't kill me," I said in a hard voice.  At that moment, I thoroughly wished she would have taken her knife she plunged in my hand and not allow Luke to get it.  Otherwise, she would have had her knife and wouldn't have gone looking for a damn gun.  She never had a gun before.... 

"You're right.  I wont kill you.  But guns don't always need to kill."

I shook my head in disgust as she gestured for me to follow her to her car now - and this time, she meant it.  It only made the anticipation that much worse for me.  Because now, not only was I going to wherever it is she is taking me.  It must be a big fucking deal if she was willing to bring a gun.  It only made my suspicions of where it is that much more realistic and I didn't like it. 

"So fucking crazy, you stupid bitch" I said, my eyes falling to the sidewalk as I walked beside her towards her car.  And by the time I got in the passenger side, she getting in on the driver's side, I knew this wasn't going to be good.  I found out that I was more than right.

***

It was a long drive and with every mile, it seemed to have become more isolating around us.  More trees, less busy roads, and I didn't like it at all.  I was seriously considering trying what I did before and jumping out of the car.  Except this time, we were on the highway going nearly 65.  So that wasn't happening.  With Crazy here having a gun, that didn't leave me much confidence to play with, unfortunately.

Every moment passing, I became so sure now of where it was she was taking me. The whole ride... it made my stomach roll in circles and I felt at one point ready to throw up.  I knew I had to be right and could feel in my bones, my being, that this was what I knew it was.  I've never felt so sure of something before and I at least wished I didn't have a clue.  It would have saved me from an ache that only continued to dig deeper.  That's why when we finally arrived and I realized I was right, that it verified my gut feeling, all I could do was close my eyes tightly in pain and hope I could will myself away in the darkness. 

I was right... why couldn't I have been wrong?

When we turned into the long drive, I noticed the entire property was fenced in.  It was a huge chucnk of land to begin with, with trees and woods surrounding the edges.  Some parts were thick along the fences as it was when we first pulled in. However, the worst part came when I glanced out the windshield and found a huge brick building, spanning to a couple smaller buildings.  And it just confirmed... everything.

All around it was just land.  And a lot of it too.  But I also noticed around the back there was a parking lot, which was where Clare slowly inched the car around the gravel drive.  Other than that, I didn't bother with details.  I bothered with containing it, and trying not to panic.  I couldn't panic, panic would be the worst thing right now.  I can't do that right now.  I need to stay calm.  Luke will come.  He'll get me out.  He promised me he would and I know he will.  I could deal with this until he gets here. 

I could feel my hopeful thoughts weren't working as I just sat there, sinking deeper and deeper into the car seat until I could no more.  My hand covering my mouth as I took the realization in, I tried taking hard and deep breaths.  Calm down, calm.  Luke will come.  Luke, Luke, Luke.... 

I knew I was right, I just knew it.  And now, here I was.  Being forced into this place.  Like Clare said she would do - one way or another.  But I wont be in here for too long, no more than a few days at the most right?  By then Luke will get me out - one way or another.

"Welcome home!" Clare exclaimed in excitement and all it did was make me shake in place, my body tensing and not being able to stop the waves of shivers from spilling over my body.  I heard Clare erupting in laughter but all I could do was stare down at my hands that began to shake in my lap. 

I knew I needed to pull this together - and not cry!  During this, I wouldn't break.  I wont cry, I wont freak out.  Will I fight them if they try to fuck me up?  Yeah.  But I wont sit in a corner and rock back and forth like a weak cry baby.  I needed to stay strong.  They would not get the satisfaction out of me of making me feel like shit.  I would hold on, keep strong, and do this for Luke.  I need to make him proud while I'm here.  And that meant my body needed to stop reacting in ways that were close to tremors. 

My eyes on my hands, I willed them to stop.  To stop shaking and let my body at least try to relax.  I pushed for it, took deep slow breaths and just pictured Luke.  His face, his eyes, his smile... relax.  Focusing on my hands in my lap, they slowly stopped shaking as I continued those deep breaths.  I can do this... I can.

Of course, as I tried drilling that in my head, that I would handle it, I'd be okay, it was because I assumed this was a mental hospital that consisted of drugs, doctors, and an organized and civil way of going about their job.  Yes, I expected bad treatment, gross food, and a ton of uncomfortable positions they would put me in.  However, what I didn't know yet as I was sitting in the car, was just how fucked up this place was.  This wasn't a mental hospital being operated in the ways of present day.

Glancing up from my lap, I saw the back of the huge brick building as we drove around it to get to the parking lot.  The main building was about five stories high but very long too, stretching across the land and proudly seemed to dominate it in comparison to the other buildings.  It was a very big place... but one I didn't like.  It looked like a place for me to rot, to decay and to be forgotten.  What I soon learned was that how the place looked wasn't what mattered.  It was the people in it.

It became somewhat of a daze after that.  Maybe because I was trying to block it out to deal with it but the next thing I knew was that we were parked and being escorted inside by an younger, almost fragile looking gentleman who looked paranoid.  I didn't know why but my guess was because he was escorting the one crazy girl everyone knows about. 

By the time we walked in through the back doors, he led us up to the front of the building.  And that's when I took in the details - because I didn't want to dwell on anything else.  First thing I noticed was that the place looked very white, very big, and empty.  But that was only my first impression when walking in, where Clare was about to leave me.  Before I knew what was happening, she was already signing papers.  She gave me a kiss on the cheek before I could deck her a hard one, and left.  And I... I don't know.  I just was becoming so lost in it all after she left because she left just so fast, even while I was still taking everything in.   

I was standing in the middle of the lobby where there was just... nothing.  The only thing there were plants scattered in pots here and there on little tables and that was all.  It looked as they just started this business or something because there was nothing.  The rest was just empty space, wooden floors, and white walls.  It was quite disturbing, in all honesty.  Even the front desk on the far side of the room didn't look to have anything on it beside plants.  Sighing, still willing myself to stay calm, I also noticed there were three doors spaced out behind the front desk but beside that, nothing.  I had to assume everything was down the long and wide hall near the front doors of the building.  It was a big opening that led far down, with double doors at the end.  Being as bright as it was too, I even managed to see the numbers on the doors that were in the shadows.  Once again:  kind of creepy.  

"Mrs. Higgins," a man said in a rough voice, making me turn from the hall and look back by the desk.  He came in from a door that was behind the front desk in the lobby we were in (though it looked more like a huge hall).   He came up to me and gave me a bright smile, one that was too big, eyes too wide, and his presence was quite dominant.  Wearing a bright red sweater and jeans, I had to guess he was in his 60s.  Winkles and grooves running along his forehead and cheeks, I could only assume it was from years of very over exaggerated expressions from what I noticed next.  "Hello.  I'm Rich Portiack.  And this is my place," he said, opening his arms wide and looking all around him almost dramatically.  Either to mock me, as if I was a little kid, or because he was like that.  I feel the later was accurate but I didn't close out the possibilities of the others.  "I own this little - or rather big - shindig here."

"You must be proud.  A mental hospital," I said in a dead voice.

"Well, my dear, I am quite proud.  And it's an honor to know that you will be here for us to work on," he smiled.  'Work on?'

"What exactly are you going to be doing to me here?" I asked, crossing my arms. I took note I haven't seen any doctors yet, anyone really, beside this guy. 

He surprised me by laughing incredibly hard over that for some reason and it only scared me that much more.  I had to force down the shaking again before it could start again. Hold it together, you can do it.  For Luke.  "Come on, I'll show you around to your room," he said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder as he began to guild me down that hall.   I didn't like the fact that he didn't answer my question. 

He began to lead me down the wide hall and all I could do was keep my eyes on the ground.  I didn't want to look at him, didn't want to see any more of their plants, or the double doors we were going to be walking through.  His arm around me though was quite distracting especially at feeling just how tightly and close he was holding me against his side as we came closer to the doors.  Eyes widening, I even swear I heard the guy start to almost purr or moan as he brought me closer.  After that, it was close to nearly impossible to stop shaking. 

By the time we got through the double doors, everything - and I mean everything - looked different.  I was convinced we went into a different building.  People.  Tons of people.  Walls must be sound proof or something because there wasn't a sign of any voices from the lobby.  Now though... going through the doors, people flooded the floor.  Doctors and people doing paper work.  The unsettling thing was that the walls were so close together.  Dull, dark, and crowded.  I could only stand there and take it in.  I guess the illusion of so many people came just from how small these halls are.  The walls were white, as they were out there, but... this was dark.  Barely any lights that weren't incredibly dull and looking closer, I noticed a terrible stench.  Opposite of what a hospital smells like... I mean, this smelled like... well to be honest, like piss, shit, and disease. 

That's when I started to really start to question everything.  Rich here was suspicious enough.  This didn't help.  Biting my lip, I felt my shaky breathing come back and swallowed hard at the sight before me.  "Don't sweat it," I heard the old guy, Rich, whisper in my ear and it made me jump.  Not because he whispered but because I could feel his dry and cracked lips brush against my ear for a long second when he whispered it. 

Yeah, I was definitely freaked out.  I mean... what the hell was this place?  This was enough to deal with as it is.  I don't need him all over me because I could just feel that vibe start too come off him after he did that.  And it made me feel very sick again like I did on the car ride here.  Taking in a hard breath, I tried forgetting about the sick feelings in me but... everything about this place now suddenly screamed abuse and trash.

Seeing my reaction to what he did, he laughed as if nothing happened and glanced to the jungle ahead I didn't want to enter.  At the moment, he was my main issue though after that.  "This is the busiest part of the building - and the oldest.  Your room is on the third floor so it's much better up there," he said, wrapping his arm around me again when he took the few steps back to where I moved away from him. 

However, at he put his arm back around me like that, I drew the line. I pushed his arm back from where he rested it.  Backing up and away from him, I couldn't go far with how close together these walls are. Turning towards him but keeping a fair distance as we stood there, I scowled up at him, disgusted.  "Don't touch me," I growled.

He pursed his lips in a over dramatic sad fashion, passing it off as he didn't care.  Smirking, he didn't acknowledge that and just glanced ahead of us towards where the hall continued and split off in a few directions.  "Before I can take you to your room and introduce you to your primary doctor, there is a bit of a... procedure you are required to go through."

I was shook up enough.  I didn't need whatever the fuck this was he was talking about; his tone on the matter didn't help - at all.  "What are you talking about?" I hissed, eyebrows lowering as I noticed he looked down to me.  His smirk seemed to grow even more.  Teeth close to chattering together in what I could only assume to be hysteria, I backed up on instinct it seemed like as I waited for his answer.

"Follow me," was all he said as escorted me more into the chaos of the people.  But that was only because the walls were so close together.  And honestly, that wasn't my issue as we moved through those people.  It was the odor.  And I refused to think about it because it suggested something about the treatment the patients receive here.  I was realizing that truth was clear in many forms.  This place would be shut down in a second if someone had a good look around here.  Or one sniff. 

I followed him through the hall and down another when he turned right, this hall even more dim.  However, it wasn't long until we came to a wooden door that he opened. Both entering, I wasn't sure what I was expecting.  But it appeared better than what we just came from.  For the first time since we entered the real part of the institution, my noise received some relief from that disgusting smell - and it was so gross smelling too.  I was happy to have somewhat cleaner air to breath.  I didn't think that was too much to ask for. 

The room... was quite small.  But very plain again.  Four white walls.  However, the only difference was that the floor was a tile.  Like that of a bathroom tile.  I also took note the dark water stains where the walls met the ceiling.  Besides that, that was all the decorating done in this room.  It was completely empty, all except for a long table with one chair behind it that was near one of the walls, facing out. 

After I took it in, I glanced up to where old guy was standing next to me.  His hands resting behind his back, I saw him watching me carefully with expectancy.  Raising an eyebrow, I saw him offer up one of those larger and over done smiles of his that I didn't like.  He raised both hands up to his big wrinkled forehead and let his hands run through his white hair as he took a few echoing steps towards the table.  When I stood there and watched him take a seat behind the table, facing the rest of the open space of the room, I could feel my gut dropping and my heart nearly stopping.  Because at that point, I had a pretty good idea that whatever this was wasn't something that would have been advertised in that fucking brochure Clare wanted to give me of this place.  

I watched with wide eyes as he sat back in that chair, relaxing, as he faced me and stared at me.  Like I was an item and I could feel it would only get worse from here. I realized then, at that moment, Clare purposefully placed me hear.  In a place she knew I would not only be away from her.  But I'd be abused.  And in a number of ways, I was about to see. 

"What do you want?" I asked him with a tightening voice, one that I managed to make as menacing as I could with how scared I was.  I was in an incredibly vulnerable position right now and it only would get worse.

"Get undressed."

"Why?!" I demanded.  "This isn't fucking prison!"

I heard him erupt with that loud obnoxious laughter again.  "You're right.  This is worse than prison.  This is a zoo and you are one of my animals.  With no right, no worth, no dignity," he said, his voice cold but that smile was still there, acting all nice still it seemed.  "You're fucking mine now.  Un-Dress."

His last words lighting up his eyes, I could feel my throat start to close and I could only stand there, biting my lip until the point of bleeding.  But I wouldn't give in.  This asshole wont get that satisfaction.  "You want me to undress?" I spit at his ugly face as I raised up my black sweater and threw it on the floor, exposed in my bra.  But I refused to care, no matter how exposed I'd feel.  He would not get that satisfaction.  "Fine!  You want to jack off to my body?  You want to watch me?  You fucking sick piece of shit!" I screamed at him as I unzipped my jeans. 

All he did was sit there and watch.  His eyes were hungry and traveled down my body and it made me feel so helpless, sick, and disgusting.  He sat and watched and to get through it, I screamed at him and yelled and swore over and over.  Yelled in his face as I undressed until there wasn't a stitch left on me.  I hated it, I hated him.  I hate this fucking place!  I screamed at him as everything came off because if I didn't, I would have cried.  And I can't, I wont cry.  Only in me, I can let it out.  I internally begged and cried over and over for Luke as I externally screamed in Rich's face.  I didn't cry, I didn't break, and I wont give in.  Because I know Luke will come for me.  I know it. 

***

An hour after that, I was dressed again - only this time, I was in uniform.  Retard uniform folks because that's where I belong!  White pants, white baggy shirt.  And... it only made me that much more like an animal.  With a collar you can't take off.  Honestly, what I was just trying to get through was the frustration at this point.  The anger that this has been going on for who knows how long and nobody knows about it.  This is obviously one huge secret.  Kept for years... and years of people that are actually mentally ill being violated, being experimented on I'm sure, and of being treated like an animal like this.  When Luke gets me out of here, this place will get shut done if that's the last thing I do.  It's only been a few hours since I've gotten here and I am disgusted out of my mind and am shocked beyond belief how terrible things are here.  I expected some pretty shitty stuff going down.  But nothing like this!  Nothing like having an old pervert enjoying watching you getting undressed in front of you just so you can get your new clothes.  I swear, I was reliving what happened in mental institutions in the 70s.

I was sitting in my room he finally showed me to - and left me, thank god.  I found it quite disgusting actually how this place operated.  But what really reflected what they were trying to do was what they did to the rooms.  The rooms were plain, a little dirty, not as bad as what I had come to expect after all that.  However, the real kicker... was the fact that they replaced all the doors on the patients rooms with jail cell doors.  Like with bars and everything to create the illusion you are actually in a cage in a way.  Like we are in a prison - no, worse than a prison.  A zoo.

I sat on the cot, keeping my mind as busy as I could while waiting to meet my primary doctor.  Looking through the bars of the door, my only way to see out since the rest of the room consisted of plain white walls. Nurses would pass, doctors... and I noticed a lot of them would stop and stare at me for a bit, astonished to see the town freak locked up. 

It took a long time until one doctor in particular stopped and actually opened up the cellar door, swinging the rusty bars open and entering my room.  He gave me a very tight smile - that was the first thing I noticed.  The rest of him like lean, thin, tall... his had a face that was very square in my opinion.  His eyes a dark brown, hair of the same shade... he actually looked a little normal.  I wasn't fooled though.

"Albany," he smiled, teeth bright and matching every other color in this damned place.  "It will be nice to work with you."

I scoffed. "Yeah, I know it will be," I mumbled.

Raising his bushy eyebrows at me, he came close to me until he was standing before me.  Crossing his arms, he gave me another smile but it was stressed and tight.  He actually looked quite on edge, maybe even on the same scale as me, which was incredibly weird.  This was a doctor here.  Shouldn't he feel comfortable, I mean if he's been here for years?  Unless it was his first day, he didn't have an excuse as to why he was just... standing there, looking down on me with intense eyes and clearly shaking.

"I'm Doctor Peterson," he said, staring down at me with a chilling glare.  "And... you have no idea the amount of pleasure I will have in taking care of you as a patient."

Staring up at him with wide eyes, skin crawling in fear and shivers,  I seriously thought that would have been my breaking moment from how he said it... with venom and the clear message that he was going to fuck me up and mess with my brain.  I mean, I know this isn't the movies, this this shit is really happening and it's still hard to process... that these people were going back to the old style of things.  Like... experimenting for Jesus Christ.  How much more typical can you get with a mental hospital.  But no matter how this was happening, it was.  Luke needs to get his ass here - fast.  Especially when I found out what I did next.

"You're a bunch of sick fucks," I said, shaking my head. 

"Well, it's not like you're not," he said, with a much deeper meaning in them.  "You let my nephew Mark get shot... multiple times in the chest and die.  You better believe I'm going to be a sick fuck."

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A little more faced pace I think but I hope you liked it!  A lot happened so tell me what you thought!  Hopefully, I can upload again soon enough.