Chapter 15

"Just try it," he said, offering me a cup after I sat down at the kitchen table with my bowl of cereal.

The passed few days went by with no incident.  Just boring days around the house and trying to keep ourselves busy since we were being cautious and wouldn't leave the house.  The news kept us entertained though.  Especially when all that was being talked about was what happened here a few days ago.  People have been going crazy over it too; it's not often three guys get shot in a house over a grudge.  And in the house of the town's most wanted crazy girl. Today though was off to a better start - without the news.  But it included Luke trying to goad me into trying coffee for the first time.

 Looking up to where he was standing beside me, he put the coffee mug down next to me and gestured to it for me to take before he went back to making his own breakfast. 

I sighed.  The smell wasn't that great to begin with.  The taste probably wouldn't be any better.  But this being the third time Luke asked, I had to give in - out of curiosity of course, not because I gave in to pressure.  Lifting up the mug, I took a small swig, and was just glad it wasn't too hot.

The terrible taste of the coffee would have blocked it out anyway I found out.  I grimaced and shook my head, lips tightening and I set the cup as far away from me as I could on the table.  I didn't understand how so many people could like it.  It was disgusting, that's all I can say.   

"You don't like it?" he asked as he came back into my sight, sitting down adjacent to me and seeing my reaction.  Looking to his plate, I noticed he just made some toast this morning.  He of course had his coffee too though.  I don't know why; he always seemed to have enough energy in the morning.  He didn't look tired but up and ready to face what was surely going to be another boring day.  It wasn't something we minded though.  It was kind of nice doing nothing with him, lazing around and talking.  Just taking part in our American-ness.   

"No.  Yuck," I said, taking a bite of my cereal and flushing away that nasty taste.  "Better than that cake we made though," I offered up.

He grinned slightly at the memory of that awful cake - no, horse shit was what it was, not cake.  When he was about to say something though back to me, we heard the sound of the doorbell ring throughout the house, getting our attention. 

We both groaned simultaneously of course.  We figured it would be more reporters or just some curious kids that wanted to take a look at the 'crime scene' of what was sure to be the hottest news of the town. In the past few days, we saw a sad amount of those type of people. That's the issue with the society today: they are hungry for drama and don't care how terrible something is.  It would be entertaining to them and of course, that's what counted in their selfish pathetic lives.  And each time the doorbell rings with the reminder that there was another loser on the doorstep, Jack would start to go nuts and bark. 

From the kitchen, I heard the little pounding of paws hitting each step as Jack scrambled down the steps from where he was up in my room, excited someone was here.  Barking throughout the house, announcing the arrival of a visitor, I laughed at Luke's annoyed expression and Jack's uncontainable excitement.

Jack had gotten to the door, barking, before Luke even got up.  He didn't move for a long second, clearly not wanting to get up and answer the door.  However, whoever the person was at the door was impatient.  The doorbell rang again and again and again, each second and by the time I was close to laughing at whoever this was, with Jack even more hyped up at the continuous ring, Luke got up quickly to get the door since it was clear the bell wouldn't stop for a second until the door is answered.

Mumbling something not too pleasant about what he would do to whoever this was, he walked out of the kitchen and into the living room to get the door. Listening quietly from the kitchen, I heard him open the door and when he did, the person stopped ringing the bell annoyingly.  Jack also stopped barking too.  A moment later, I heard the door swing open more and Luke speak up and I had to guess that whoever this was, was coming inside. "That's not funny.  Especially this early in the morning."

I heard a familiar voice answer him and even if it was muffled a little, I knew who it was.  "Hey, it was either ring the doorbell or just walk in.  But I knew you would have probably pulled a gun on me if I just walked in.  It's not like I can just come in when you are on 'lock-down' mode.  So you are welcome," he said and I heard his voice getting closer, my spirits lifting at knowing who was here.

Looking up to the kitchen entrance to my side, I saw Francis come in.  It felt as if I haven't seen him in the longest time too.  His smirk grew on his face when his bright hazel eyes met mine through those thick frames of his.  The hair around his face framing it perfectly with those bushy eyebrows.... Taking him in, I felt a jump in my heart over him.  It was because of him that I was here, alive, thanks to his warning.

"Ah there's the survivor! I'm happy you are alive, Albany," he said, eyes teasing in mine before he walked over to the coffee maker to pour himself a cup after entering the kitchen.  Glancing back to Luke when he followed Francis back into the kitchen, he had a soft smile on his lips.  He was probably very thankful too to his brother.

I smiled.  "So am I, thanks to you."

Sitting back down next to me, Luke continued to eat his toast and drink his coffee. Francis, after he got his cup of coffee, came to sit across from Luke and adjacent to me.  Seeing him closer now, I noticed a few more fine details I was unable to before.   Like how tired he looked, his eyes seemingly crowded with deeper lines around them.  So that confirmed what I was wondering: did he meet with the group last night considering he came over here this morning?  He had news for us and I was anxious to hear it. I didn't want to force it out of him yet though.  He needed an easy-going morning, I could tell.  He was up late the night before.

So instead of bringing up the obvious, I brought up what he was drinking.  I mean, how couldn't I though when I just tasted it today?  I was surprised he liked it.  Hell, that anybody could like something like that.  "You seriously like that stuff?" I asked, gesturing to the mug in his hand.

Looking down at it before he looked back up at me, Francis arched a brow and smiled sweetly at me, his teeth straight and shinny and it was a nice sight.  "Yeah, I do.  Do you have a problem with that?" He challenged me.

"You're damn right I do, that stuff is disgusting!" I said, outraged.

He chuckled under his breath, taking a sip of it as he turned back towards Luke, eyeing him in a suspicious and playful manner.  But it was only there for a minute before it was gone and he brought up something I knew Luke probably didn't want to talk about.

"The news is unreliable today.  I want to hear it from the source: what the hell happened when they attacked?"

Francis was never one that kept his mouth shut if he had something to say or a question (which he proved a few minutes later).  So we explained what happened, of course avoiding the fact  that I left the bathroom.  It wasn't a detail everyone needed to know, even if we could trust Francis.  Luke described the guys he had shot and explained the strategy they used - which seemed like a careless one.  I mean, they were shooting their guns the minute they busted the door down, as if just for the sake to shoot a gun!  They didn't try to go at the situation by trying to quietly break in; no they barged in without a thought.  Even though they assumed we were not prepared, busting the door down would have woken us up and given us time to react anyway. 

Francis scoffed, shaking his head, disgusted at their work once we told him.  "Well, that seems just like them," he said in a lower note.  "I'm embarrassed to say those dumb-asses used to be my friends; yours too," he said, glancing to me.

Sighing, I nodded.  Francis went on though.

"Do you think they saw the cameras when coming up near the house?"

Luke shook his head and I said what he was thinking.  "No, we are pretty sure they didn't considering they were so carefree to begin with, they didn't bother looking.  Not to mention, it wouldn't have mattered.  None of them lived to report back."

"Ha, yeah," Francis said under his breath, lowering his eyes to the table.  Shaking his head before looking back up to us, he said, "About that...."

"What is the overall reaction from the others in the group to what happened?" Luke asked, seeing Francis brought it up and was ready to tell us what happened.

"They are pissed off, plain and simple. They didn't see it coming.  They are trying to figure out what went wrong, the few that care, but most of the guys involved in the business aspect are pissed off because they just lost three of their clients and probably three people that helped with smuggling."

"So this made it worse?" I asked, my stomach twisting at what he said.  This wasn't good. They weren't just mad that they lost three more people from their group.  Officials involved in the actual money making process of smuggling and dealing had lost a few clients.  And I knew Gage would have been a big one.  He may look and seem like trash but he was loaded and would waste it all on drugs without a thought.  Now that he was gone, it didn't help what they were trying to do.  This whole smuggling thing is being run by what used to be just a group of druggies because some dude is paying them with 'whatever they want' including drugs.  They were still clients depending on the drug was my guess but it hurt their business because they were losing 'workers' every time one dies.  And it sounds to me that they need to work.

"Yes," he said, confirming my thoughts.  His eyes sparked in mine when he spoke to me. "They aren't sure what to think though.  I was talking to Trish and she was telling me how she wanted to rip you apart.  She said though that if they would stick back now, it might not be a good thing.  They are going through a tough spot right now.  After all, these are all young people in their 20s going about trying to impress whoever this big shot is. Losing three friends didn't help and left more work to be done.  So if they do strike, it wont be for a long while.  I asked around some more and talked to some of the others, people more involved with the whole thing in killing you, and they confirmed it.  They are not done with you.  But it will be a long time until they come back for you.  Until that happens, I'll keep going back to get more information."

My heart could rest as could my nerves when he said that.  It was a huge relief to my system.  It was fine that they still were after me; they just wouldn't be acting on anything for a long time.  I could be free, hopefully feel a percentage of it now that I could leave the house and not need Luke at my side every hour of the day - which seemed like a slow killer now because it was just plain painful around him.  With that relief came another hit of pain though.  Francis's last words made me uneasy and it didn't help with the low and nervous tone he used with those words.

"Are you 'officially' joining the gang again?" Luke asked, worried too at what he said.

He sighed and it seemed like the longest pause in the world when I sat forward, needing to hear his answer.  It was important.  Because if he did get involved, fully again, it wouldn't be a good thing.  "According to them, yes.  I told them I want back in after showing my 'curiosity' towards them with all my questions at seeing how they operate now.  I said I was impressed how they have changed and they offered me back in."

"No," I shook my head quickly, as if that would help.  "You can't do that!"

"I can and I will.  I'm on your side, I'm getting answers for you.  And if I am completely a part of them again, it will give me access to more detailed information, information you may need."

"Francis," Luke said in a quiet voice.  Glancing over to Luke across the table, I saw his eyes were filled with worry, mouth set in a stern line.  "Are you sure you know what you are doing?  You don't need to do that at all.  It's dangerous."

Francis scoffed, looking between us.  "Yes!  Jesus, it's not that big of a deal."

"It is," I said, making his eyes meet mine.  "You don't know the extent of what they are willing to do; they could push you into doing stuff you don't want to!  It's not worth the detailed information!  I don't want you doing this for me," I said and I felt the last words catch in my throat.  He was doing what Luke did a few days ago.  He's willing to risk too much for me. 

Glancing to Luke, begging him to do something about this, his eyes filled with sympathy when they met mine.  He knew my issue with this.  It was endangering Francis but more importantly, he knew it was bothering me more for the fact that he was doing this for me.  Luke understood the overwhelming worry I have over people doing something huge like that for me.

"It's a bad idea and I'm against it," Luke told him.  "But if this is what you want, I wont stop you.  It's a huge mistake though."

He shook his head, that soft smile there and happy to see we were concerned for him.  But he just wasn't worried like we were.  "Listen, I know how... deep these guys go into doing whatever for the head guy, whoever he is.  And I know they could maybe make me do those things.  But the people that accepted me back were the ones that I knew before.  The same cowards, the same losers, and they aren't as involved in all that dangerous stuff.  They aren't forced to do what they don't want to; they choose it.  And if I'm uncomfortable with doing something, I can get out of it somehow.  I'm not worried guys, so you shouldn't be either," he said, nodding and trying to get us on his side with the subject.  But he never would be able to with me.

"Do you understand the influence they could have on you if you go back in?  What if Brooke's worst fear comes true and her father turns back into the absent asshole he was before, hmm?" I asked, angry now.  He needed to see that it wasn't worth it.  Knowing Francis, he wouldn't back out.  He thought he could do this.  But it was too much to risk for him.

"It wont happen," he argued. "I have a stable enough grasp of who I am and I wont be influenced by anyone but me."

There was a long stretch of silence between us and I was trying to come up with more reasons why he couldn't do this (even though I gave enough big ones to where he should have agreed with me).  I seriously think my impulsiveness was rubbing off on him.  He was smart but he knew this wasn't a good idea. 

"Francis," I shook my head, looking down.  "Please.  Please don't do this for me.  Because it wont be for me.  It will only hurt me so please just don't do this," I said in a slow manner, dragging out the meaning of those words because they were pretty important.

Luke broke in, trying to help me.  "Yeah I mean come on," he said, drawing Francis to look back at him.  "All this will do will make us worry.  And I don't think you grasp how risky that is.  What if they found out you are brothers to the guy that shot members of that group.  If they knew how you are connected to me, it will be all over."

Francis pursed his lips, looking down into his nearly empty cup. He sipped a little more when raising it to his lips quietly before setting it back down, turning back to look at us.  This time, that confidence was gone.  His eyes moved from Luke though to mine and for a long second they lingered in thought. 

"No," he said softly to us.  "First, I don't even think they know who you are.  Second... I'm doing this."  He then turned towards me fully.  "I wont ever forgive myself if I don't do this because what if something happens to you?  I would have wondered if things would have been different if I was involved more, if I knew more."

"Well I wont ever forgive myself if something happens to you because of me," I said, sighing.  Deja-vu, I tell you.  It was just like that talk Luke and I had.  Once was enough, personally, but I didn't want Francis doing this. 

"Duly noted," he said, smiling at me.  "Trust me on this, okay?" he asked in a more intimate voice, hoping I would be on his side with this.  And though I wouldn't be, I couldn't stop him.

I nodded.  "Fine," I scowled, looking down and away from him.  I hated this.  One issue off my chest and another shows up.  My life, ladies and gents. 

Eyes nailed at my nearly empty bowl of cereal, I wasn't hungry any longer - which tells you just how much this bothered me.  I heard Luke sigh as well and he was realizing it too: there was nothing we could do to stop him.  He was determined.  Worse: he was determined to do this for me.

"I just want you to know that what you do is something you don't need to do.  This is 100% your choice and yours alone.  So if you do this, it will be on your shoulders and your only," Luke said to him and in those words, I knew it to be a reassurance to me in the double meaning.

"I know," he said, sounding a little confused as to why Luke would point that out. It was for me though to feel a little better.  And though it helped knowing Francis confirmed this was his choice and the consequences would be his fault, it still bothered me.  But like I said: there was nothing I could do about that.

After a bit, the mood finally picked up, thanks to a change of subject.  As we talked a little more though, I noticed Francis's eyes move between us in a different way.  When his eyes finally just rested on Luke after silence filled the room again, there was a glint in his eye that I didn't like; it was the same stare that was there before and when I saw that small tilt of his smirk, I knew what was coming.  Observing him, it was as if I could see the wheels spinning in his head as he addressed both of us then, glancing between us as he spoke.  "So did anything else... interesting happen since I've last seen you guys?"  The air was so thick just then, it was clear we all knew what he was hinting at. Putting emphasis on the word, we knew he meant something a little more than 'interesting.'

"No," Luke answered in a hard breath, almost too immediately and I felt my cheeks heat instantly.  That bastard.  Can't he leave our love lives alone - and mine especially since I didn't have one!  He was just itching to tease us about it; this was the first time he did when both of us were present at the same time. Ballsy move on his part.  "Nothing happened."

Francis smirked and gave one nod, clearly amused before he offered me a teasing look just for me as he raised and lowered his eyebrows in suggestion.  Internally scowling, I kicked him under the table for trying that with us.  I could only be thankful that he missed our most recent kiss.  It would be kind of weird knowing he caught that one too somehow.  He didn't need to see it though.  It was buried in his eyes that he knew that something happened between us.  He was too observant for his own good, just like his brother.  He could see a change of some sort, whatever the hell it was.  I didn't like that he could see through us like that.

Moving on to a new subject - thank god - he let his humor leave him or at least he hid it while he asked me. "Anyway, since all this is done for now, are you going back to school tomorrow?"

I glanced to Luke in question and unfortunately, he gave a nod.  Damn it.  I knew that when all this was over I'd have to go back to school and face what was sure to be an overwhelming pile of homework. 

"Yeah," I groaned, making them both smile. 

"Well I've been meaning to ask that after you are finished catching up with all your work in school, would you want to take a job being my babysitter?  I mean, now that I'm back in, I'm going to be gone more than before.  Also since I figured you love playing with Brooke and would need the money at some point, you could just accept it as a job."

My eyes widened.  I did not expect that.  I was surprised he asked really.  I only watched Brooke once but of course, all the other time he would drop her off at her grandparents house.  I liked the thought of doing it.  I mean, it was great, spending time with Brooke.  I could be a kid myself with her.  Not to mention, like he said, the money would help me out too; I didn't want to keep taking money from Luke.  I wanted to make it on my own. 

Glancing up to Luke in question, he gave me a gentle smile and I admired how he was looking at me, eyes caressing me softly.  "I already talked to Francis over the phone and I agreed it was fine," he nodded.  the only reason I wanted his permission was because I could understand why that could be considered a little risky but if they weren't worried, I wouldn't be.

"So, does that sound like a suitable job?" Francis asked after I thought about it for a second more.

I nodded though, excited.  There were a number of reasons how this could be good for me and besides what he said, it would also give me a little space from Luke - which I was realizing was becoming essential at this point. 

It hurt being attached to someone.  It hurt even more when I knew we couldn't be together.  So I might as well detach myself from that weak aspect of myself.  I couldn't keep being vulnerable over him, especially when there was no use in it.  It was clear after this point that he and I weren't going to be together and that should have been obvious sooner.  I doubted myself lately on that, hoping he was coming around but I was wrong.  He would remain my friend but I needed to tell myself nothing more would happen to change that.  It was a difficult thought to have but it wasn't healthy to hang on to something that you can't have.  And the first step would be just being away for him once in a while.  A job like that could help, even when just for a couple hours.

"That sounds great," I said, smiling.  "When do I start?" I asked.

"I don't know but I will call you when I figure out when."  Francis grinned at hearing me agree to it and after he was satisfied with my answer, he stood up with his mug and walked over to put it in the sink before he turned back towards us.  "Well, I'm glad that is settled.  I better be going now though.  I told Brooke I wouldn't be long; I'm picking her up from a sleepover at mom's house.  And that reminds me - sleepovers don't need to be ruled out with your new job either," Francis said in such a nonchalant manner but that smirk returned and when he looked at Luke, I saw him nearly chuckle at what was sure to be outrage on his face as I watched Francis.  Luke sure didn't like that comment though he knew it was just a joke; most likely it made him mad because he said it with me in the room.  He winked at his brother in such an obvious and corny manner before chuckling and leaving the kitchen, heading for the door.

When he started to leave, I glanced to Luke, slightly uncomfortable at what Francis said because like I said, Luke was here to hear it and he didn't like I heard it as well.  It just confirmed Francis has been talking to both of us individually about our 'love lives' and it only made it all more obvious. I'm sure that's exactly what Francis wanted though - to embarrass us.  His excuse would be 'sharing the love in the air' or something stupid like that.

As we heard Francis reach the door though, he stopped and came back, peaking in the kitchen and he had one last thing to remind his brother.  "Oh and don't worry Luke.  She will be paid with money so no need to sweat over that."

"Goodbye Francis!" Luke said instantly and as Francis headed back towards the door out of sight, we could hear him laughing.  Jackass.  He knew how uncomfortable that made us because there was truth behind what he was hinting at. 

That truth needed to fade though as did those suggestive comments.  Because I didn't like people seeing the truth and admitting it to us like that, even if it was just a joke and even if it was funny.  I didn't want to be linked to Luke like that and those feelings would have to fade.  I needed to get over him because nothing was going to happen between us.  I needed to accept that.  I needed to move past that.

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You guys are lucky I have been given so much time to write.  When summer's over, it wont be the same so take the quick updates while you can :)