Chapter 11

It's been hours and I was still having the time of my life. Sure, call me twisted for the fact that this was technically preparing for what would have to be one of the worse days of my life. Sorry but I was having fun so deal with it.

Luke could see my excitement through the whole thing and though he was fine and having fun with me too... he saw this to be more of a serious manner and I could understand. First, he was feeling guilty. He didn't need to tell me this but it was clear for the fact that he was teaching me how to defend myself. As a cop, he knew it was wrong to show a teenage girl how to shoot a gun to defend himself when he knew well enough the other officers would not approve. As a human being, he knew it was crazy for the fact that I was just that: crazy.

He had numerous targets set up in the heated garage. Of course, since we were in a garage, it wasn't safe to do this with real hand guns or pistols. So instead, he had me use fake ones, more or less, with a smaller impact but that operated the same as a regular gun would for the most part. He showed me how to hold a gun, to aim, the steps needed to be taken before you fire.... Loading, the safety, and all that good stuff. He had me use these guns that were actually loaded for shooting at targets but wouldn't have the effect of a real gun. He managed to weigh them down to the same weight as his gun so I could get the same results if I was shooting a real gun. That's where it started to get fun.

"Don't over think it," he said from next to me in a professional voice after I missed the target by too many inches to be impressive. Groaning, I lowered the gun, and looked up to where he stood beside me. He glanced down to me, face blank, and eyes serious as he waited for me to say something.

"If I don't think about it, how will I even be able to manage a gun?"

"I said don't over think it. Just raise the gun, aim, and let the gun do the work for you," he said simply. I didn't like the was he was speaking to me, in a monotone voice.

"If I point this up your ass and fire, will it make you unwind a little bit?" I asked, pursing my lips at him in a small smirk.

His blank face finally broke. Turning towards me more, head dipped to stare straight into my eyes, his lips tilted up slightly. "You know this is serious," he said.

"I know it is. You're just a bad teacher," I murmured, turning back towards the target with the gun. Raising it after cocking it, I aimed it again towards the target and when I lined it up perfectly with the bull's-eye, I shot it. The gun kicking back slightly, a moment later, I moved it back to my side and groaned when I saw just how far off I was again.

"I don't get it," I growled. "I'm not doing anything wrong."

"You are very tense and like I said, you're over-thinking it," he said, making me sigh. I glanced up at him. He frowned and as I watched him, he rolled his eyes. "Trust me," he said and reaching his arm out from his side, he placed his fingers gently on my tense shoulder. "Take a deep breath, and relax you body."

With his hand - just his hand on my shoulder - it seemed to help as I did what he said. The energy I was holding on to trying to hit it perfectly, I let it go as he said. Sure, I didn't want to do what he said but I knew he was right. With a tense body, things could go wrong. I'm sure sex would be less enjoyable if you were tense.

When he could feel me relax through just his hand on my shoulder, he dropped his hand and nodded silently. He went on. "Good. Now, just aim and shoot. It's that simple. Don't spend all your time making sure it's lined up. Just when it's there, shoot."

I wasn't really sure what he meant at first. I mean, it's your job to do the work, to fire the weapon. How could you go about it so easily? Of course though, I had to accept that I wasn't the cop here and he knew what he was doing. Hoping he was right somehow, I did as he said. I raised the gun between my hands until it was even with my sight towards the target. This time though, I didn't spend as much time lining it all up. I just aimed and I didn't hesitate. I just fired.

Shockingly, after lowering the gun, my eyes searched for where I hit the target and sure enough, Luke was right. The impact left it's mark in the center, at the bulls-eye. "I did It!" I said, excited, turning more towards Luke. I saw a smile set upon his face and I loved the feeling that built up inside me at seeing something in his expression: he was proud of me. Even though that look lasted for a moment, it was there and I loved how it felt, that he was proud of me.

I never tried to seek approval before; never wanted it. That's why I was so surprised at how wonderful I felt when I saw that satisfied smile on his face. In my past, it all consisted of me not caring about what people think. And though that is a positive philosophy, you need to care about what people think. Like right now. Because in that second when I could see and sense he was proud, it made me feel even better about myself. It was something new that I liked.

Looking down at me, he nodded in approval and I could feel the heat in me rise. "That was perfect," he said. "You finally got it!"

We spent the whole afternoon doing that. Just shooting and I was surprised that by the time we were done, I considered myself rather good. I felt proud of myself as well, which was just as foreign as the thought of Luke being proud of me. It wasn't like I accomplished much before and was happy about it.

When Luke packed up all the guns, I frowned. I didn't want to be done but I knew that since we were doing this since early this morning, it was time to. But it wasn't in my nature to go silently, you could say. "Are you sure we have to be done?" I asked, crossing my arms before him as his back was to me while he took down the targets.

Glancing behind his shoulder towards me, he turned back to what he was doing and scoffed. "You're arm is still intact?" He asked, indicating that I should be sore. And he was right, I was. But I wasn't some pansy that quits just because of a little pain.

"Just barely but I can handle more."

He laughed. "What more? You're a great shot," he complemented me when he collected the targets and turned back to face me. Walking towards me, he stopped in front of me and I could see his jade eyes grin at me.

"Yeah but... I don't know. Can't you show me how to fight or something?"

I wasn't comfortable with asking knowing he was already uneasy as it was showing me how to shoot. I didn't like his reaction but it was expected. He pursed his lips and looked down, sighing deeply. "Listen, you wont need to. I've been on the receiving end of your fury and you punch just as good as any man. You put up one hell of a fight and since you wont be needing to face a situation like that anyway, I don't want to show you how to fight."

"Why? Afraid I'll beat your ass up?" I asked, trying to make the mood a little lighter.

He laughed and shook his head. "No. But I'll tell you what. I'll show you some, just a few, moves tomorrow. Would you feel better then?"

I smiled and nodded, happy he gave in. I mean, I knew I probably wouldn't need it. But it just strangely felt good today to be taught something different, learn, and actually feel his pride aimed at me. I liked it. It wasn't like I could ever make my mother proud, or ever received acknowledgement for doing something good. Not to mention, how bad ass would it be if I could fight?

"Yeah. Oh that would be awesome," I smiled before we both headed into the house.

***

I figured dinner tonight would be the same as every other night. Boring, 'how was your day,' and nothing else.

I was very wrong.

Clare knows that there are people after me and that is why there are cameras around. She also knows that we are ready because we have information that gives us a heads up. She doesn't know anything else because Luke was 'bound by law' not to say anymore. We weren't stupid. We knew Clare was capable of anything and that if we told her anymore, she could piece it together that there was an insider. She wouldn't know it's Francis either way even if she knew there was an insider. We were doing all we could to secretly keep her in the dark. We knew she wasn't involved in the gang but we didn't put it past her to seek them out if she wanted to.

So that has left me wondering... why hasn't she been doing anything bad to me? I figured at first it was because she was involved but we were certain she wasn't. I was beginning to think she had something else up her sleeve. I found out there was.

"Albany, I've been meaning to propose something to you," she said politely as we ate. Glaring up at her, a certain need came over me to just punch her in the face. It came on often enough to just ignore it but boy guys, her face just looked so smashable to me. Her false act didn't help. I was at the point where just the thought of her just pissed me off.

"And what is that?" I rolled my eyes, sitting back from my food and crossing my arms, waiting. Sitting at the end of the table, I glanced to where Luke was sitting adjacent to me and across his wife. Taking in his face, I read that he had no idea what she was talking about.

Eyebrows raised at her, he spoke up a moment later. "Clare, what is it?" he asked nicely but it was clear he was uneasy about this. Looking to Clare to see her eyes fall on her husband, she suddenly seemed unsure. Hmm. Guess someone should have approached her hubby before bring this up now (whatever it was).

"Um, actually, this news is for you too," she told him before looking back to me. "I actually wanted to discuss this with the both of you." She said quietly, looking down at her half eaten plate of meatballs. Looking over to Luke in confusion, seeing he was in the same position I was, I tried thinking of what it could be she wanted to talk to us about.

Having a baby? She better not dare bring that up again! Letting the gang have me? Only in her dreams; she wouldn't say that out loud. Divorce? I could only hope.

I had no idea. But in those seconds of not knowing, I should have been thankful. Because when I found out what she was 'proposing' the shit would roll downhill.

"What is it?" Luke pushed after seeing her struggle for a moment.

Then, she let us have it.

Her eyes fell on mine first but went back to Luke, needing to see both of our reactions when the words left her mouth. "I found this... wonderful place that I wanted Albany to check out. It's a facility that was established to help people that are... mentally ill. I think it would be a great place for you," she said, looking at me with pleading eyes. "I want you to get better and I know the treatments there are said to be--"

Luke cut her off. I couldn't see his reaction yet; my eyes were stuck on Clare from her words as everything registered, her words, and what she was really saying. I only could hear his words but from that, I knew he wasn't happy. His voice was numb and I could have sworn I heard it crack. "A mental hospital?"

There was a point of silence that existed until I saw her bit her lip and look down before she faced Luke. "Well, essentially yes. I've been looking into it for a while now and it seems like a great place that can get real results, positive results that could make her better."

It registered slowly... but after it did, everything else was like bricks hitting me. Panic filled me to the top and my heart pumped pure fear and hate at the woman wanting to send me there. To a mental hospital. "You..." I started, my breath coming out too fast for my control. "Pathetic excuse for anything resembling a human being! A mental hospital! So I could get better? No! So you could lock me away! To finally get rid of me, for once and for fucking all!" I was standing, shouting down at her. Luke no longer existed there in that second. Just her. And her fucking proposal I wanted to shove so far up her ass or down her throat that it would kill the bitch that really belonged in a mental hospital.

She could fool anyone with the look on her face - of a pleading mother who wanted to just help her daughter. I had not one ounce of doubt though. I wanted to spit on her like she did so many times to me. "No!" She shook her head furiously, her eyes big and pleading up in mine. "I want this to help you. I spoke with some of the doctors there and they said they could have you in as soon--"

"You dumb bitch!" I screamed down at her from where she still sat at the dinner table. "You know damn well what they are going to do to me! They will drill into my brain, strap me down and experiment on me! I wont be a patent, I'll be a fucking prisoner and you know it! You fucking know it you sick excuse for a mother!" I was shouting at the top of my lungs and I couldn't contain what was building up in me the second she told me she idea.

I was shaking with fear. Fear that it would actually happen! There was only so much Luke could do considering I really was 'crazy'. She could lock me away and I was scared considering she wouldn't have brought this up if she wasn't serious about this. Besides absolute fear came the hate I had for her. I knew it was so long until she could go without ruining my life bit by bit. And why? Not because this kind of thing happened to her. No, this surpassed what happened to her. This was out of just her wanting to ruin me, to bury me, and to finish me off.

I couldn't help it any longer. I picked up her plate of the remaining food and didn't hold back when I pushed the plate against what I could of her chest. The meatballs I pushed against her rolled down and into her lap, the gravy covering her now. Shoving her hard enough from the side, she nearly fell out of the chair as I smashed the meatballs with the plate against her upper chest. Gasping in shock as she got a grip of herself in her chair, I didn't want any longer to see her reaction.

I was off in a long fast stride, moving out of the room and towards the stairs. Nearly running, I knew I needed to get as far away from her as I could and leaving the house wasn't an option. I moved up the stairs, my breath the only audible thing at the moment, and when I reached my room, I swung open my door. Walking in quickly, I slammed it behind me with so much force, it echoed in my ears and I'm sure throughout the house.

I was so worked up now. Not just with hate over her anymore. But the reality of it, that it could happen. I knew it could happen. It's not like anyone would object. Clare would have everyone on her side and has had people suggest I be locked away too. It wasn't safe for me to be out and free, it was a risk for someone insane to be out in public. The public would love for me to be in mental hospital. It was something I knew Clare could have always done but just never did. She could and the only thing that would maybe stop her was if she really loved Luke. He wasn't my dad, didn't have a say. If anything, all he could do was protest and if she loves him enough, she will not put me away like he wants. He just needed to convince her and even that was a big factor that might not work.

I could only imagine how it would be.... I knew mental hospitals were more civilized than they were 50 years ago but that didn't mean anything to me. I would be held in a patted cell in my mind, I would have no freedom.... I would feel so helpless and trapped and that's exactly what Clare wants. She wants nothing to do with me and she wants me to suffer. And if she wants me to suffer, she would pick a place that would do the job. I could only assume there would be physical tests that would not be pleasant if Clare wants me to go there. Hell, the way she spoke of it sounded as if it was already decided!

The doctors, the pills, the suffocating atmosphere and nobody. I always had nobody but after having someone like Luke, could I go back to being alone so easily? I didn't want to! I wanted to be free, to live in the open, to have the life Luke was talking about for me and one with him in it. But I could be sent away and with out nothing more than a goodbye!

Running a shaky hand through my hair, I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Walking towards my bed where Jack was laying, watching me curiously, I sat down next to him and ran my hand over his soft fur as I became lost in my thoughts once more. And as my thoughts wander and panic returned, I began to feel the presence of a massive headache. A force of it's own, pounding against the front of my head, and it seemed to make the thought of being locked away even more repulsing to me.

Laying down on my side against the bed and a pillow, I felt Jack move as well up against me until he was stretched out before me too. It was as if he could tell how upset I felt because all he did was crawl up near my face, lay down against me, and lick my neck once before resting his head against my chest and the bed.

Licking my lips with another deep breath, I stroked his hair, so thankful I had him. But if I go to that hospital, I would lose him. I would lose everything I came to gain. And that was the last thing I wanted.

Closing my eyes tightly, trying to will away the pounding hammer inside my scrambling head, I could feel my breath finally calming. And all that was left was the aching in my head and in the pit of my stomach thanks to the images that started to run through my head. I knew I was over thinking it but an image came to mind of me in a straight jacket, of doctors surrounding me in a white room, and of nothing but the walls to look it because everywhere else I looked seemed to have some form of an instrument to drill in my head.

Sighing, I turned over and looked up at the ceiling. I was sure how long I had been laying there but when I heard the bedroom door open, I knew it wasn't long enough. Glancing over to Luke as he stepped in and closed the door behind him, he turned back and his eyes found mine between the silence that was circulating in the room.

Searching his eyes, I found sympathy. And that's not something I wanted. "Don't you dare feel sorry for me," I said, looking back up at the ceiling and away from the deep diamonds that had the ability to make me reveal my vulnerability. "I don't want your sympathy. And I don't want a lecture either on how that was rude that I smashed her dinner into her chest!" I said heavily with a stern voice.

He didn't answer. He just stood there for a few more seconds before I heard him quietly walk towards the bed. Sitting on the edge, he came into my view since I was laying down next to him. I ignored him though, staring past him and up to the plain white ceiling. Plain white and dull, staring up at nothing - something I would have to get use to if she sends me to that place.

"Look at me," he finally said, his voice holding the same note as mine had.

When I didn't, he spoke up again and his words slightly stung. "If you act like a child, you will get a lecture on how it's rude to ignore me when I just wan--"

"Don't talk to me like you are my father! You're not."

We were both pissed - and that's why I assumed neither of us were in the mood for mind games. Not at each other. But what this situation was already doing to us. But when I found his eyes, my anger slightly faded and so did his.

"Trust me, the last thing I want is to be your father," he said, looking down at the bed and away from my eyes. My eyebrows dipped low but before I could say anything else, his head picked back up until he was looking back down to me. "I talked to her over it," he said in a stronger and more audible voice.

I sighed, staring up at where he was sitting besides my stretched out body. He pursed his lips as he continued to make sure I wouldn't look away from his begging eyes. "She's determined. I know she is. This was the reason she has been quiet all this time. She wants this to be the end of me and it will be--"

"It wont!" he said in a loud whisper, knowing we couldn't be too loud. I noticed Luke leaned down ever more towards me, as if he wasn't close enough as it was to have an affect on me. Trying to stress with me the importance of his words, I felt him rest a hand on my leg as he spoke in a very protective voice that couldn't help but make my stomach twist. "I told her I don't want you in there. That I was making progress on my own and that I was disappointed to see her want to put you away. She doesn't want to push me away again, as she put it and apparently, she just wants best for this family. Absolute BS," he shook his head. "But I had to show her sympathy. Of course, I told her that if she didn't want to break my heart, she wouldn't send you there. I crossed dark waters to keep you away from there and she said she wont. She said she was sorry and she just wanted what was best for you."

I felt the release of the huge ball of simple stress and anxiety lift from when it hit me when Clare told me what she wanted to do with me. Taking in a shaky breath, I nodded and left a lump grow in my throat at just how close I felt to helplessness. I felt so lost already, just the thought of being put away. Still, the thought and worry wouldn't leave me. What if she was lying and would go behind his back and take me to that mental hospital? She worked so hard, really checked out the place... she wouldn't just give it up for Luke would she?

Yes. She would, I realized. She would abandon that thought and though I new she would try to think of some other way to beat me down, to even get rid of me, she didn't want to hurt Luke. I really could see she loved him. Somehow, she was capable of it. It wasn't an excuse, it was just upsetting to me. However, I knew I needed to be thankful for that mysterious love she held for him. Otherwise I'd be off to that horrible place.

"Are you okay?"

I bit my lip and nodded, hiding every thought, every moment of pain from my face. He didn't need to know how scared I was before - or how scared I still was in a way. A sick feeling was stuck in my gut and it wouldn't go away... that this wasn't over. She would come up with something else.

"Yeah," I said, smiling and showing I was relieved. "Just thank god, you know."

"Yeah," he said, nodding before he looked down. And with that out of the way, with nothing else between us to occupy our minds, a familiar air presented itself between us and all I could do about it was internally groan. The awkwardness... I was so sure it disappeared from yesterday. We had that mall moment in the kitchen that would reintroduce all that tension. It was only now coming back at us because up until now for the most part, we were doing something, keeping our minds busy. Even watching TV could keep the awkwardness away. Now, as we sat facing each other, with no words, no anything... it was back. It was too good to be true that it was just fade after what was nearly a shared kiss yesterday.

Staring down at me, his hand tha rested on my leg suddenly lifted too fast to be natural. As if he just realized he rested his hand against me. Groaning, he looked down and away from me, clearly uncomfortable as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Um, well, I think it would be best if we both turn in for the night...."

Turn in? Were we not in the 21st century? "Yeah..." I said nodding, feeling just as uncomfortable as he was. "I don't want to face Clare until tomorrow morning."

"I imagine not. Espeically after... well, after I made a deal with her."

I narrowed my eyes at him and didn't like the where the sound of his voice was - guilty and somewhat reluctant. I sat up from where I was laying now. Things were getting interesting now. Looking into his eyes that weren't far enough from mine from where he was sitting, I knew I needed to hear this out. "What are you talking about?" I asked. He was going to say something that would definitely make me made. His tone gave it away as did the words. Deal? He meant a compromise for me not going to the crazy house.

"Well, it wasn't really a deal. After I said no, she acted as if her whole world was crumbling. She said she just wanted you to get better and when I argued you were, she said she wanted the results to involve her more. As if you showing your affection towards her more."

Another crock of BS. She wants me to act as if I love her? Hell, if anything we agreed on, it was to always hate each other and we were fine with that. I wouldn't want her love now, after all this time. I would feel even worse if she suddenly showed compassion towards me. And before when I gave it to her as a little girl, she couldn't stand it. I actually think she respects me more hating her than she does if I gave her love and compassion. She was proud of what she did to me, proud that I was incapable of loving her.

So why would she say she wants me to suddenly warm up to her if I was in fact, by Luke's words, improving?

His next explanation just made sense to me. "She said that if I didn't want you to get 'treatment' at that facility, than she said she at least wants you to go to therapy."

I felt myself laugh humorlessly. "Oh, she's really looking for an ass beating now!" I said too loudly. She didn't want me to go to a shrink because she wanted me to feel better and hopefully 'get over my issues to then love her.' No, she knew I would hate it, just like I would that nut house. It wasn't treatment she wanted for me; it was for me to suffer. And since the hospital just didn't fly for Luke, she was already coming up with alternatives - therapy.

"Listen," he said, in a whisper, leaning closer to talk just to be secure on our conversation. "I know she just wants you to go because you would hate it. But it was better than going to that hospital. It was the best I could do and I said that I would talk to you over going to therapy. Now, I know it would suck, but I think you should go."

"Why? So she is satisfied that she is wasting an hour of my life with questions that would annoy me and a brainless therapist? No! I don't need it, want it--"

"I know, I know," he reassured me, shaking his head. His green eyes pleaded with me to just listen and I did, closing my mouth in a tight line. "I know it would suck, that she would take enjoyment out of seeing you go through that. But to be honest, doesn't therapy sound much nicer than a fucking mental hospital?"

"Of course it does," I whispered back.

"Then don't push it! It's obvious she wants to do something. She's sick of you here all the time and can't stand that she can't do much about your attitude or the fact that you have it pretty good now. She's itching to do something and she knows she can't with me always around you. So she wants to make you suffer in a different way." He paused, inhaling deeply before continuing. "Just do it. Because if you do, maybe she will back off a bit and not look for another alternative, one that could be worse."

Gritting my teeth, I knew I hated it but had to nod. It made sense and though I didn't like it, I wasn't stupid. Since he shot her down about the crazy house, she wouldn't stop. She offered therapy and if I denied that too, she would just come up with something else - something that could be worse or maybe she would even go back to beating me discretely. I didn't want that and if therapy was enough to satisfy her stupid head, I would do it. Maybe then she wouldn't be itching to punch me in my face.

"You're right," I scowled, hating the thought of therapy - but it was better than the images of a damn drill going through my head (which was exaggerated but I couldn't help it).

Surprisingly, I heard Luke snicker under his breath. Looking into his eyes and the smirk he held, I frowned more. "What? Why are you laughing at me?" This wasn't funny. It's not like I was happy about going to therapy.

"Well, no offense, but I give her credit. She knows what get's under her daughter's skin. A fucking therapist," he chuckled, a light in his green eyes meeting mine in humor.

He elaborated after seeing my questioning look. "A mental hospital is out of the question. So the next worse thing is a therapist? How evil of her."

I stared at him and understood now. He didn't think therapy would be bad, not as I was making it out to be (which would be hell). "It is! It's going to be so boring and I will be suffering."

"I know. It's just funny that this is the step down from the institution. That she knows how much you will hate this - because you will hate it. But Albany, it wont be that bad!"

"It will be fucking annoying, I'll tell you that right now."

"Regardless," he said, getting his laughter under control and looking at me more seriously. "It's better than the alternatives - like getting locked up or getting beaten. You act as if therapy will be hell."

I smirked, shaking my head. "Oh it will be. Trust me, Clare knows how to punch me in the gut. And that is with therapy," I said, half joking with him now to because I could see where he was coming from. But I mean seriously though, for someone like me going to a therapist... can't you see why this would be a nightmare?

After the topic was closed and we could feel that awkwardness come back, Luke stood up and went over to my closet to grab all the blankets, his pillow, and sleeping bag he kept in here for when he needed to go to sleep. Standing up myself as he made his bed on the floor, I walked over to my dresser and grabbed my pajamas before heading to the bathroom to get dressed.

As I slide my flannel sweat pants on and a lose tee shirt, I thrived in the energy of feeling somewhat better. Of course, there was enough for me to stress over to last forever but to know that the possibility of a mental hospital was gone really helped. I guess you don't know how good you have it until there is a shit ton of pressure and stress on your back.

Smoothing out the shirt over me, I brushed my hair out of the bun it was in and sighed as I was about to open the bathroom door up and go to my room to bed. But just after I flipped the lights off and opened the bathroom door into the dark hall, something hit me that made me gasp at not seeing what it was.

I felt arms grab mine from in front of me and push me back into the dark bathroom. Unable to see who it was, I already had a good idea. The door closed behind us and I was left alone in the dark bathroom, now being pinned back and against the sink by an unseen being.

"Manipulative bitch," I heard her hiss in my face. Not being able to see a damn thing, I tried pushing her off of my body and break away from her invisible grasp. But she put all her weight against me, to hold me there.

"Get off me before I scream!" I said to where I knew her face was. She was close too. Her hard breath brushed against my face and I tried getting even further back from her if I couldn't shake her off me. Like I said, I couldn't see anything. But her voice said enough that I didn't need to see a thing.

"Listen up, daddy's girl," she said in a quiet voice, not wanting Luke to hear. Of course, he wouldn't since he was getting ready for bed in my room but she wasn't stupid. She knew how to be safe when her brain was actually in progress. Clare went on, whispering in my face threats. And though those don't really affect me anymore, this one did. "You may have him wrapped around your finger. He might have found a friend in you but he will always be my husband. Keep that in mind when I tell you that he wont be there forever. Because though therapy is your reality today now, you will go to that institution. Maybe not today, maybe not in a year even... but you will go. I will put you away until you no longer are a part of our lives. The only reason I didn't put you in sooner was because I needed you for the bills. Now, I don't and I'm sick of you. Sick of all your fucking issues, sick of you dragging Luke everywhere with you in your problems, and sick of you taking away my time with him. Therapy for now because I love Luke and wont hurt him now by putting you in that nut house. But trust me, I wont let that stop me forever!"

I have lost count how many times she has threatened me. But this time was different and I could feel her hard breath and her menacing words fly through my bones and make me shake in place. Ironically, it wasn't moments ago I was so relieved to not have to worry about going to that institution. Now, it was back in me and thriving more than before. So much fear... and because I could feel just how much she meant that. She spent a long time thinking about it, coming up with the details, wanting this... she wont let it go. Sure, therapy was something she could settle for now. But not forever.

I tried keeping my strong face and was glad we were in pitch darkness because I would have been positive that she could see my fear plane on my face. I was lucky my voice help up well enough. "You love Luke. And if you plan of being married to him for the rest of your life, you wont put me there. He would never look at you the same!"

"I will get you there. One way or another." She said it with too much confidence for comfort. I tried decoding what that was suppose to mean but before I could, she was speaking again. "Now, get your pathetic ass to bed," she hissed in my face again and finally, for what seem like forever, moved back and released me. I felt my hand, on instinct, wrap in the fabric on my shirt at my side; if I didn't, I would have punched her in the face.

Clenched teeth, I found the door handle in the darkness and swung it open harder than necessary, storming out of the bathroom and towards my own, not looking behind me to see her follow me out too and go her own way.

I hesitated before opening my door and going inside. The last thing I need is Luke reading me like a book. Composing my face as best as I could, smoothing out what was sure to be wrinkled eyebrows and tense muscles, I took a deep breath. I needed to put all that out of my head. There was too much to deal with right now to worry about her threats that could very well just be empty and words. She said eventually she would do something about it, not now and that was what I needed to remember. I could worry about her words some other time.

Taking one last deep breath, feeling confident that all signs of what just happened were off my face, I opened my door and went back in my room. Shutting the door behind me, I saw he finished his bed and since he was already in comfy clothes, thought that to be suitable enough.

Just as he was kneeling down over his bed on the floor, when I came in and he looked up, he froze for a minute. And though his wondering eyes could fool anybody, after he looked me over, when his eyes reached my face, something chanced in his own face.

He raised his eyebrows instantly and took my face in with his curious and now worried eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked.

I scowled, looking down at my feet and away from him. Of course he would tell. He was too observant for my liking. "Nothing," I groaned, making my way towards my bed. I quickly climbed in and under my covers, facing the window and away from where I could feel his eyes on me. It was no use, telling him. He would just get worked up and over nothing when there was nothing he could do. There was nothing I could do either. It was just a threat and that was something I needed to keep telling myself. And though technically it wasn't in the form of a threat, it sure felt like one. It felt as if I needed to do something but there was nothing I could do. All she gave me was a heads up really. That a mental hospital was in my future. There was no reason I needed to share that with him.

Jack, who had been sitting on the bed quietly, now jumped into action at seeing me get under my covers. He raced up against me, rubbing his face in the bed spread before he yawned. Coming to rest against me, sprawled out in a funny position, I kissed the top of his head as I came to rest against my own pillow.

"Goodnight Albany," I heard Luke say quietly as he turned the lamp off on the table.

Swallowing hard, I spoke up too. "Night, Luke." Along with everything, it didn't help that Luke had to sleep on my floor. It honestly bothered me more than it should. Especially when I wanted him up here in my bed with me. The past few nights, I fell asleep to his even breathing. The only issue I found with that was that it came from too many feet away and from the floor.

I wanted to feel his arms around me - especially now with feeling so uneasy. Just the damn thought of falling asleep with my nose buried in the fabric of his shirt against his chest, my body wrapped around his, his strong arms holding me.... It brought back the night I fell asleep with him on the couch and it would be a memory I would carry with me for a long time. Because it was so beautiful, just laying against him and falling under the vulnerable state of sleep together.

Shutting my eyes tighter, all I could do was take comfort in those thoughts as I drifted away into the only thing that could get rid of what was becoming a pounding headache again: oblivion.

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Couldn't reread this chapter to check for any more errors so sorry. Anyway, what do you think now of Clare's plans? Also, I wanted you all to know that I posted a new story. It's called Writing in Reverse and it's like a journal of mine that shows how I started writing, my ideas, how I got where I am, tips... that kind of thing. I would appreciate it if you check it out and tell me what you think so far but of course, you don't have to.