(All pictures taken from Google) Armour for Estra and Leraj that are in this chapter minus the weaponry and helmet: 

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"You cannot be serious!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and paced back and forth in front of Hendrickson. He stood behind his desk, rifling through a set of papers before he glanced at me again.

"Are your outbursts done?"

Nostrils flaring, I stared at the brickwork and failed to control my ever growing temper. First, I passed out on my bed and almost freaking died from Mana depletion; ended up living in the hospital for four days. Second, I learnt my sword would take days to fix and even then it would never be the same and I'd have to wield a crappy two handed blade until it was completed.

And now I had Grand Master Hendrickson prattling on about my insubordination and behaviour the other three had reported. In which my punishment was taken off duty. He got an earful about the first part, now he'd get one about the second.

"The other three get a freaking slap on the wrist and I'm taken off duty." I clapped mockingly and earned a harsh glare. Hendrickson didn't frighten me anymore though. I'd spent enough time in his presence since arriving here to understand his quirks and his facial expressions in his degrees of anger. I knew when to stop and when to prod, as Leraj put it. "I request I be put back on duty."

"Request denied. Like I mentioned before, Helbram's report did not hold you in high regard for this mission. Perhaps it had been too early to put you in the field, given your connection to the sins."

I stiffened. "What connection?" I questioned. My heart pounded in my ears. What had the others whispered in his ears? My conversations with the Sins? The fact they knew my name and wouldn't kill me even though they had multiple chances?

He canted his head then sat slowing into the chair behind the desk. "Your need for revenge. It was one of the reasons I gave you the mission yet it seems my expectations should have been set lower. Of course, that is mostly my own fault, not yours."

Yet why does it feel like you're condescending me? I made sure to keep my face clear of an impending scowl.

"And don't think I'll skim too lightly over the fact you turned on your fellow comrades. You're lucky you haven't been kicked out of the kingdom."

"For what? Being a traitor to a few low ranking Holy Knights so no more Princesses died?"

Hendrickson sighed and steepled his fingers. He looked bored. "Well, yes, accidents happen."

Accident my arse.

"Is that why you made me an Emerald Rank Holy Knight instead? To keep me complacent?" I retorted. I wanted to say, 'Because you're an idiot and realised the real reason why we're Holy Knights?' yet I had a feeling that would turn him a frosty degree of angry.

"While you had your downfalls on the mission, your strength and abilities were noted. You took on the Fox's Sin of Greed and the Grizzly's Sin of Sloth with minor difficulty as opposed to the other two knights with you, especially given you were just a recruit. I'd deemed that you're ready to become an official Holy Knight of Liones. Once your... probation is over, I'll be sending you off on multiple missions befitting your rank. Many will be going against the Sins should they continue to galivant around the countryside and terrorise towns and villages."

I should have been completely angry with him but inside I glowed. I was an official Holy Knight of Liones and an Emerald Rank at that! It was only slightly bittered by the way I'd received it but I reasoned with myself that my actions at that fight had been justified and my conduct befitted a Holy Knight true to their oaths.

"Instead of seeing this as a punishment, perhaps see it as a time for you to relax and recuperate. I'll hold another meeting with you in the coming days. I'll send word by messenger."

Dismissed, I stomped out of the room and slammed the heavy wooden door. I took a deep breath then scream- shout to the ceiling an unintelligible roar.

"That didn't sound good." Leraj leant against the wall, balancing the tip of his dagger on a finger. He snatched it from the air then looked to me with a crooked grin. "Guess you have some free time on your hands, then?"

Oh how I wanted to punch him right then. The urge.

I buried my fist into the wall, my gloved hand making a sizeable dent. We'd both dressed in full armour in preparation for being sent beyond the walls of Liones. That was what most other Holy Knights were being sent to do, and here I was being sent back to the bed.

"I think," I glared at him and he held his hands up in surrender, then continued to speak softly, like I was a snake ready to bite him, "that perhaps we should take this outside to the gardens. A bit of fresh air might help calm you down."

"Fine," I grumbled and he cuddled me from behind. Which was hard to do in all this armour. "But can we get out this gear first?"

A quick detour to our rooms before he led me into the lush gardens the castle held. We technically weren't supposed to be in here but as long as we looked like snobbish lords and ladies, we seemed to fool the gardeners. Or perhaps they just didn't care as long as we didn't trample any prize and exotic bushes.

We trailed along the pebbled footpaths in silence. Leraj had his left hand in my back pocket but I didn't mind. Funny how comfortable you'd get with touching each other after getting into a relationship. Sometimes I'd find myself just touching the crook of his elbow or his upper arm every once in a while for no good reason other than to feel his skin.

"While I was out," I broke the silence as we passed under a maple tree, "what else happened?"

We hadn't much time to catch up before I'd woken from my deathly slumber to Leraj peering at my face. Hendrickson had summoned me the minute I could walk in a straight line. I still felt weak though, like I hadn't recovered all the Mana I had expelled in the fights. Maybe it was because I had been continually self-healing from the first injury to when I'd arrived back at the castle.

"Well, Helbram's sent men to confront the sins. Apparently they've been spotted a few towns away. The rumour mill spitting out that it's the Gowther. They spotted his full armour."

My mouth turned down. I caressed a few roses as we passed but my mood was beginning to sour.

"And Guila and Jericho have received high honours for their role in apprehending the Sins." I heard the hesitation of his breath before he continued. "Not many know you were with them. Most of the junior recruits thought you were wagging training while the seniors think you're a hero for surviving against the Sins."

I almost crushed a rose in my fist but it was a beautiful flower that had done no harm to me. "And let me guess, upon hearing I'm Emerald Rank, more than a few people are cranky because they think I'm only one through Hendrickson."

"That... yeah, some do." He could have lied but it wasn't in his blood to do that to me.

There really wasn't much I could do about that rumour. I guess I could pummel them all – might provide me with a smidgen of satisfaction.

I felt my emotions shrivelling up into a ball of blackness. Their words never really touched me but the Mana depletion had left me fragile in more ways than one. He must have seen the distress and hurt on my face.

"What happened at Vaizel?" he asked softly, drawing me to a halt.

I wouldn't face him. "I don't..." I don't want to talk about it yet. I don't know what happened.

"That's okay. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to," he said quickly and I sent him a small smile. He started telling me he'd been out drinking with the blacksmith's sons and it had quickly turned hilarious when they'd tried a new drink. It was so potent, he'd started hallucinating about the first time he'd met me. Then he plunged down memory lane and began recounting it.

But when I tried to grasp the memory he explained, the details eluded me. Instead another popped up. Leraj, shirtless, standing in the centre of a cleared section of woodland, a stick in hand. And me, I wasn't a Holy Knight and I had no weapons or armour.

"I think I'm going to head back."

I disentangled myself and his voice trailed to a stop; bid him an early goodnight. He didn't follow and for that, I was glad. It couldn't have been more than 4 in the afternoon but I was bone weary, physically and emotionally. Once the door to my room was closed, I sagged against it and sank to the ground.

Everyone was being commended for their actions against the Sins, calling them heroes. Calling me a hero. Yet all I felt like was the villain. We had destroyed Vaizel too; Guila and Jericho had killed one of the princesses and tried to kill a second one.

This wasn't why I became a Holy Knight. I became one to protect the innocent, to seek revenge on those who'd dare hurt the people I loved, to fight alongside like minded individuals in our duty to the royal family of Liones.

I hadn't told Leraj anything about what occurred in Vaizel and he wasn't bound to find out anything from any of the others either. It sounded like Helbram's report held the bare minimum on what occurred besides me turning on the others. I'd tell him soon, when I was ready. I wasn't sure how he'd react but I knew he'd listen and try to help me, especially in figuring out why the Seven Deadly Sins supposedly knew me.

And why my feeling for revenge was beginning to dampen the more I thought of the Sins.

I can't... I pushed myself off the floor and dragged my feet into the bathroom. There were faint bags under my eyes and my hair was still a mess no amount of conditioner was going to salvage. Maybe I should cut the damn thing off, I thought bitterly, before I undressed and hopped into the shower, turning it to freezing cold. Head on the glass, I watched the water gurgle down the drain. I need a stiff drink... or seven.

My whirring thoughts were enough to keep me awake half the night with their chittering and squabbling over right and wrong, false and true. I had to tell Leraj. Tomorrow.

I'll tell him everything.

~

I was just dropping my towel from around my body to dress when the door flung wide open. With a screech, I jumped back and held the unwrapped towel vertical to cover my private pants. Leraj stood in the doorway, tousled hair and form fitting training gear. His eyes started roaming from my toes up but by then I'd recovered from the shock.

My foot met his face and he flew back out, closing the door on his groaning figure.

"This time you didn't even knock, you dolt!"

His laughter sang through the door. "Caught you this time!"

I growled and began yanking clothes out of the dresser. Hastily. Who knew if he'd try the same trick twice. Dressed in tights and a long sleeved turtleneck for the weather had turned last night, I was almost finished in lacing up my ankle length boots when he knocked on the door.

"I'm dressed now."

"Good." He opened the door and sat beside me on the bed, burying a kiss on my neck, just under the jaw. His arms wound around my waist and subconsciously, I leant into him with a hum. "Because I had a surprise for you."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I hate surprises."

He grinned down at me and pecked my lips. "You'll like this one."

"You say that every time you give me a surprise. You said that last time when you cut the power to my room and I walked into my room to find my bathtub full of snakes."

He bopped my nose with a finger. "It was the day of Fools, give me a break. I promise this doesn't have any snakes... that I know of."

"Okay, I'm a little intrigued," I confessed. "What is it?"

"I think it's time for a holiday."