Meliodas , texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I'm at the store so be quick!
Tristan : Moose Tracks is good!
Zeldris : What the fuck is that!?
Tristan : *Gasp* How dare you insult moo-
Zeldris : No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It's like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like "Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR.
Meliodas and Tristan : what?
Zeldris : I don't get it why add the EXTRA u when it's PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!?
Meliodas : You done now?
Zeldris : Yeah ok.
Meliodas and Tristan : ...
Zeldris : ...Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?

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Meliodas : So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?
Zeldris : Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Gelda, deer!"
Meliodas : ...And what did Gelda do?
Zeldris : ...She said "Yes, Honey?"

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Zeldris : What are your three best qualities?
Tristan : I'm hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

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Tristan : Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!
Zeldris : Please, just say fuck.

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Anne : Nasiens , get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?
Nasiens : Donnie, Anne wants you to get out of the house.

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Zeldris : Tristan , what are you doing?
Tristan : *shaking a cat shaped piggy bank* I'm just trying to figure out how much change I have inside.
Zeldris : You could always take it out and count it.
Tristan : Where's the fun in that?

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Tristan : Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?
Zeldris : No, I said "Tristan , don't lick that swingset" and you said "You're not my mom, don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.

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Anne: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

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Sin, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Nasiens : Gray.
Anne: Grey.
Sin, turning to Donnie : Now tell them what color you think it is.
Donnie : Dark white.

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Percival : Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

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Tristan : We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Lancelot: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Galehaut: FLOOR IT!!
Tristan : How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Lancelot: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Tristan : I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Galehaut: DO IT!
Lancelot: NO-

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Tristan: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Meliodas : A doll.
Elizabeth : A cinnamon roll.
Zeldris: A sweetheart.
Tristan:
Tristan: ...stop it.

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Percival : Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

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Donnie: Hey, do you know the password to Anne 's computer?
Nasiens: Fuck you, Donnie.
Donnie: Hey!!
Nasiens: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouDonnie".
Donnie: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

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Donnie: Though I admit I don't know much about you, I am feeling pretty confident in my assessment that you are probably some sort of sick deadly fuck.
Lancelot : Who told you my secret?

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Percival : Why are you guys acting like this?
Tristan : Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

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Lancelot : Can I bother you for a second?
Galehaut : You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

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Tristan : I lost my fish, can you help me find it?
Lancelot, cooking the fish: What? I couldn't hear you, please speak up.

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Percival : That sounds like a terrible plan.
Galehaut : Oh, we've had worse.

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Meliodas : What does a winner do when life gives them lemons?
Tristan: Um, make lemonade?
Meliodas : No, they squeeze them right back into life's eyes!

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Tristan : *makes Galehaut a cup of tea*
Galehaut : *sips tea*
Galehaut : *finishes tea*
Tristan : Didn't it taste bad?
Galehaut : Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.
Tristan , tearing up: Oh, okay.

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Meliodas : Can I have some water?
Tristan : *starts chugging their water bottle*
Tristan : *chokes from drinking too fast*
Tristan : *spills water all over themself*
Tristan , coughing: I don't have any water.

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Lancelot : What's the dumbest thing you believed as a child?
Tristan : That naptime was a punishment.

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Percival, talking about Tristan and Lancelot: Are they a friend of yours, Galehaut ?
Galehaut : Kind of? Not really. They're in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

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Galehaut: My father taught me to think before I act.
Galehaut: ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

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Tristan : Galehaut, I screwed up, big time.
Galehaut: Tristan , given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

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Lancelot : Everything's fine, Galehaut .
Galehaut : Lancelot, I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT'S NOT FINE.

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Galehaut: This is a very powerful artifact. You'd be messing with some forces we don't fully understand.
Lancelot : That sounds like a dare to me.
Galehaut: Oh my god.

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Lancelot : Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?
Galehaut: Fake?

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Galehaut: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

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Tristan: But what about Lancelot ?
Galehaut : Don't worry about him.
Galehaut : I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened.

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Donny: Shut up, you're messing with my train of thought!
Nasiens : I thought you didn't have a brain and now you say you have thoughts?

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Tristan : Hey Galehaut , can you give me the opposite of these words?
Tristan : Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.
Galehaut : Never, Going, To, Give, You-
Galehaut : The fucking satisfaction.

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Galehaut: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I've ever done.
Lancelot : When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real.
Galehaut : They're not.
Lancelot : Haha, very funny.
Galehaut : I'm serious. Didn't you hear?
Lancelot : No... what happened?
Galehaut : ...Why would you fall for this again-

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Sin : Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!
Anne : ...
Sin: Oh, right. The lying.

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Meliodas : Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective
Gowther: *crouches down*
King: *kneels down*
Ban : *sits on the floor*
Meliodas :
Meliodas : I hate all of you.

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Meliodas: Help! I'm drowning!
Ban : Calm down. We're only in six feet of water!
Meliodas: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

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Tristan : Just think about this! I'm your hottest friend.
Tristan : No, that's Lancelot... I'm your nicest friend.
Tristan : No, that's Galehaut... I'm your friend!

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*In the chip aisle at Walmart, doing a late-night grocery run.*
Gowther : *Minding their own business, looking for tortilla chips.*
Gowther : *Finds tortilla chips.*
Meliodas , to Zeldris : See, they know what they're here for. They know what they're doing. Be more like them. Make a decision, Zeldris!